Kinda Crazy
by AdriDee
Summary: A look at the crazy life and love of Jax and Tara in the mid to late 1990s when they were teenagers in Charming. They won't take anything back, but both know their relationship can't be as it was before. This is a look back on the bad decisions they made and what let to their first end. "Kinda Crazy" by Whitney Duncan. New Chapter up after LOOONG absence!
1. Prologue: Clarity

**_TITLE_**: "Kinda Crazy"

**PROLOGUE**: "Clarity" by Zedd (prefer the Michelle Chamuel version than Foxes though; it's more intimate and focuses more on the lyrics than the music, in my opinion)

**TV SERIES**: 'Sons of Anarchy'

**PAIRING**: Jackson (Jax) Teller & Tara Knowles

**CURSE ME**!: Good Lord, baby Moses on a basket. I am very much going to regret this. So, this is what happens when I get a break: I get bored and need to imbed myself in a project. I know I have other stories I have not finished, but I NEED to get this out of my system and am more than sure it's gonna give me grey hair. I got hooked on S.o.A and I cannot take it back. It took me five days to finish all FIVE—yes, ALL five—seasons. I've been searching through FF for good Tara and Jax stories. I've found quite a bit good ones out there and decided to try my hand on it. So…please, bear with me. Here goes…

**NOTE**: This is a glimpse as to how the lives of Jax and Tara were before the first season, while they were in their teens. In the first season, you get the sense Tara was very much a "wild" child and I very much believe it had to do with Tara being around Jax; he brought that out of her. Considering her baggage, her youth, the closed-minded suffocating town, and Jax being in her life was all a recipe for disaster. This is the story. (I'm planning for a prologue, 10 chapters, and an epilogue)

**DISCLAIMER**: I own NOTHING. Sons of Anarchy and the characters in this story belong to someone else. I simply just love torturing myself.

**TIME PERIOD**: Sometime between episodes 1x10 ("Better Half") and 1x13 ("The Revelator"). These are Tara's thoughts which lead to the look back of her life.

* * *

It had taken every piece of restraint Tara contained to not reach up another inch and kiss Jax Teller a few months ago. He was emotional and looked more tired than she had ever seen him. He was wearing the exact same clothes he had worn the day before. He had come into the hospital three times that day, his clothes looking more used and dirty each time he walked in through those automatic doors. Tara had believed the stress Jax was under had to do with Abel, his newborn. However, now with many months gone by and the more she saw Jax, she knew it was something else. Yes, he was very much worried about his newborn, but there was another worry going on his head, and as always, he was not letting Tara know what it was. She wasn't surprised by this. He hadn't let her in before when they were going out; why would he now when they were simply friends?

It was the history they shared that told Tara Jax wanted to talk—NEEDED to talk—but she wasn't sure she was the person he wanted to do that with. And she wasn't so sure if she wanted to hear the kind of problems he was in.

Had she ever? Back when they were together, she wasn't sure if she had ever really wanted to know the whole truth of the motorcycle club Jax was a part of.

But, she wanted to help Jax. Or at least that's what she told herself in the beginning. She needed an excuse to talk to him. To find an excuse to walk over to him, see his smile and baby blues. She had always been a sucker for them, since the moment she met him when they were 16. It's what had first pulled her to him. She had a feeling he had always known this too. That's why he never looked away from her; loved to see her uncomfortable.

Every time they talked now, it was both a pleasure and a pain for Tara. Bittersweet memories would pop into her head whenever they locked eyes. Memories of her most happy times. But a time where she had been so lost and confused. Times with Jax that brought the best and worst out of her. She had been inside so much chaos, but somehow he had always been a clear image to her. And that piece of clarity drew her to him.

God, she was an idiot. This had happened to her over ten years ago. Did she really expect her reaction towards him would have changed? People had warned her this time around. And they had a lot of reasons to. Within two to three years of knowing and dating Jax Teller, Tara had gotten arrested three times, got away with shit she now wishes she hadn't, made poor decisions—it all almost cost her her education and had brought an end to something else she held dear. The parties, the fights, the alcohol, the sex, the games, the lies, the love. All of it. It had pushed her down a hole that took a good five years to climb out of.

Tara had never thought it had been just one reason as to why her life had been so wild when she was a teenager. It was a mixture of things. It had been her baggage, Charming, and Jax. She believed she could handle one thing at a time, but not all together. When she had decided to come back to town, she was grateful she had gotten over the daddy and mommy issues she had. It helped her father had died, it made it bearable to live in that house. She had grown up and now knew she was in charge of her own life. She could not blame her parents' poor decisions for her problems.

The people of Charming weren't as closed minded as they had been from Tara's memory either. They were easier to tolerate. Not to mention she didn't socialize with almost anyone. She spoke with coworkers and that was about it. Her old friends she had never kept in touch with and she didn't wish to reach out now. She didn't mind. She liked it this way,

Then, there was Jax. She had just arrived in town a couple of months ago. She had seen him on the street, arguing with some pregnant woman. The pregnant woman was Wendy, a girl Tara remembered from high school. It didn't take long for Tara to figure out they were married. That gave her the perfect excuse to not reach out to Jax and she believed Jax wouldn't reach out to her for the same reason.

How wrong she had been. Two days working in the hospital, which had been four days since her arrival back to Charming, Jax had strolled into St. Thomas and gave her a welcoming hug. Since that day, it seemed she saw him everywhere and they stroke up conversations. She felt safe doing so though. He was then married with a kid on the way.

But then she found out about Abel. She made small talk with him every chance she could.

She had to be honest now. The reason why she had initially gone to Jax had been because of the pull. She couldn't stay away. Not for too long. Not when he was this close to her.

And then Cohn came into town and that just set fuel to everything and led Jax and Tara to this state they were in now. The moment their lips touched once again after those 10 years, Tara's theory was confirmed. A kiss was never a kiss between them. It was an electrical charge which ignited so many complicated, heavy, but colorful feelings between them.

She was a goner now. It wouldn't mind her so much, but she knew he was in some deep shit. Before, there was the excuse that they were young, stupid, and impulsive. But they were almost 30 now. This wasn't _right_.

The life she had before, she didn't want it. She wasn't that girl anymore, Jax had said it. But he certainly wasn't the same guy from ten years ago either.

Tara stayed there, lying in bed with her arm wrapped around Jax's chest, thinking of her old life…. _Their_ old life. And she wanted it, but was scared of it at the same time...

* * *

**AN**: I love the complicated world this is. I like going into the minds of the characters and I think these are the thoughts that run through Tara's mind right after hooking up with Jax. She's grown up, matured, and has gotten over her issues because, unlike Jax, she left Charming and got exposed to another world. There _**is**_ another way to live and Tara sees that. (I might write later on about my feelings towards why she hasn't left after 2 years, but not now. This story is based on how Tara and Jax _used_ to be.) Tara has made such great improvement and she's afraid that the hard work she's done of the last 10 years will be erased immediately and she'll be back to being the crazy and wild teenager she was with Jax.

However, as Jax said, "this [new relationship], can't be that [old relationship]." Even though Jax is very much secluded in this world, he _is_ growing up. He wants to be with Tara and wants to make things work, but in order to do that, their past has to be looked at to see all the things they did wrong.

This is a look into their "I gotta be with you every minute or I'm gonna kill myself type of crazy" love they had in the late 90s. Enjoy!


	2. Play With Fire

**CHAPTER ****1**: "Play With Fire" by Poema

**NOTE**: Tara steps into the small town of Charming, California. (this turned out to be a LOOOONG chapter. Not all of them will be this long though.)

**DISCLAIMER**: I own NOTHING. Sons of Anarchy and the characters in this story belong to someone else. I simply just love torturing myself.

**TIME PERIOD**: August of '94

* * *

~TARA~

"There you go, sweety," the older woman behind the counter said as she handed Tara her new schedule. "And again, we're sorry for the confusion."

Tara gave a small smile as she went over the schedule to make sure everything was correct. "It's alright."

"This was a first for Charming High, as far as I've worked here. Never have we had a 16-year-old take AP classes, not to mention taking college courses in Delta College. How will you be making it down there twice a week? Will you be done with school at the end of this year?" the old woman asked.

Tara did her best to keep herself composed. The woman seemed to be drilling her with questions since she arrived to the office; it was a bit annoying. Tara knew it was going to happen. Although she didn't believe Sacramento was a big city, the small town people here certainly did.

She and her dad had just moved down last month. He had lost his job in Sacramento almost a year ago and had to resort to asking one of his buddies for work. Tara had wanted to stay and finish at Saint Francis, but her father claimed the money her mother had left in her will for Tara had drained out. Saint Francis was expensive, and although Tara had some Financial Aid, it wasn't enough. Thankfully, her father had been offered this new job back in April. It allowed Tara to start to set things up. Because Charming was too small of a town, the closest community college for her was in Stockton. She had herself a two and a half-year plan to make sure she got out of this town before turning 19. She had enrolled at Delta College in Stockton for two college courses and thankfully, Charming High offered two AP classes that were transferable to Delta.

She was a very logical and realistic type of girl. There was no way to persuade her father into letting her stay in Sacramento. For one, they had no family there, and the other was Tara didn't have a friend to stay with. Although she had friends at Saint Francis, Tara was a very private person. She didn't talk to very many of her peers. There was one person she could have stayed with, had he not turned out to be complete jerk.

Tara gave a small smile to the old woman. "I hope so. Have a good day," she replied to the woman quickly. She needed to get the hell out of there.

She had arrived to school a good hour early. No thanks to the office, she had fifteen minutes to search for her class. It shouldn't be too difficult. The high school was small. There were only three buildings, one of which was two stories. It looked homey, sweet, and endearing. Very much lived up to the name.

As Tara made her way to the first building, she could tell all eyes were on her. She was new. She was expecting it, but it didn't mean she liked it.

She pretended she wasn't bothered by it and looked at the door numbers, looking for her first class. She should have asked the old woman for help.

She looked down at her watch. She had ten minutes. Great. She was going to get to class and end up in a crappy seat.

"You lost, darlin'?" a deep, raspy voice behind her asked.

It startled her and sent her jumping. She turned around towards the voice, which was now giving a low snicker.

Her eyes met a chest full of leather. The smell of tobacco and oil filled her nostrils. Whoa, this guy was tall. Her eyes made their way up to his face. He had a small, unkept goatie, medium-length dirty blond hair, and a scruffy beard. Great, she had attracted the bad boy of the school. Her eyes further searched his face, only to finally meet the pair of eyes.

They were a deep, baby blue with the tiniest hint of green. She had seen a lot of blue eyes before, but not quite like these. These eyes held something in them, emotion, that she had never noticed in another person before. There was laughter dancing all around them, along with something else she could not seem to understand. In one word, they were beautiful.

She felt the body in front of her get closer to her. Suddenly, she felt her entire body was on fire. How long had she been staring at him? Dammit.

She thought about the question he had asked. Was she lost? "Yeah. I'm new."

The guy gave a throaty chuckle. Something told her he lived his life in laughter.

"What's your name, new girl?" he asked as he cocked a grin at her. His eyes had not left hers.

She opened her mouth to give her name, but nothing came out. She cleared her throat a bit and tried again. "T-Tara."

His grin grew. "Tetara? That's an unusual name."

Tara could feel her ears ready to explode. "Tara. It's Tara Knowles."

He gave her a nod. "I like the nickname better. Mine is Jax—short for Jackson Teller." Was it just her or had he yet to blink? He kept holding her stare.

"Nice to meet you." His stare was seriously making her feel uncomfortable and she was unsure as to why. She broke eye contact and looked down. She noticed his baggy jeans and the chain hanging off it. This guy just kept looking like such a winner, she thought sarcastically. But why wasn't she feeling repulsed by anything about him? She took a step back, needing distance from him.

He took a step closer. "The face is up here, darlin'. Unless you're interested in looking at my pants while we're talkin'. Not that I'm complaining, so as long as you do something to them."

The comment threw her off. Had he seriously just said that?! Had she heard wrong? "I'm sorry. I don't think—"

"Jax, back off the poor girl," said a soft girl's voice from the background.

She wanted to look for the voice and hope the girl it belonged to would enter the scene completely and pull the tall bad boy away from Tara; however, Tara had met the bad boy's eyes again. As if at all possible, his eyes laughed harder as he looked down at her with his massive body. She felt a shiver come over her. Was it fear she was feeling? Definitely. But why was she debating on two different actions she was wanting to do at the moment if she feared him? She wanted to either run off as far away from him as possible...or wanted to pull him down to her. She kept as still as possible, afraid of what she might do.

"Jax," came the girl's voice again, but never appeared.

The bad boy placed a hand behind Tara, trapping her. When did she get this close to the wall? She thought her body had remained still.

"Wanna go out for a ride?" he asked in a most low voice.

Her heart began beating faster, as if she was physically running. "I—"

"Opie!" the girl's voice called out.

"Alright, alright," came a gruff and deep voice. "C'mon, bro. Off."

Tara wanted to scream out to the two faceless voices. But what she wanted to tell them, she was not sure. A part of her wanted them to come to her rescue, and another part of her wanted them to leave. So many torn decisions. What was wrong with her?!

The bad boy leaned further down; he was a breath away from her lips. All she had to do was reach out.

"Hey," the gruff voice was a few feet away from them now.

Out of the corner of her eye, Tara saw a bigger figure pull the bad boy away. She looked away from his eyes, feeling a bit better in doing so.

She turned and found a guy who was a few inches taller but wore the same kind of clothes than the bad boy.

Jax. His name was Jax, Tara thought as she registered again what the girl had said. The girl had called the bad boy Jax.

This taller guy gave a warm smile to Tara. "Hi, the name's Opie." He extended his hand to her.

Tara shook it. "Hi, I'm Tara."

A girl a whole foot shorter than Opie appeared at Opie's side. She had short brown hair and bright blue eyes. "I'm Donna." The voice now had a face.

"Hi." Tara kept her eyes with Opie and Donna. She could feel Jax's eyes were still on her, making her feel uncomfortable.

"Now, that you've all been acquainted, do you mind?" asked Jax. "Tara and I were talkin'."

Opie looked to be having fun with this; Donna not so much.

"You're making her feel uncomfortable, Jax," said Donna.

"Poor thing looks like she wants to run to the woods," Opie added.

"Externally, yes. But there's a side to her that's very much interested." Jax sent Tara a wink.

Donna gave him a smack across the chest. "Stop that!"

Tara was more than sure her entire skin was bright red.

Then, it was as if God was feeling her pain. The bell rang.

"Thank God," Tara exhaled. Wait. Had she said that out loud? She looked at the three in front of her. Opie and Donna laughed as Jax gave her a cocky grin. Dammit, she had.

"That's the warning bell," informed Opie. "Means we got seven minutes."

Damn, she thought.

Donna came closer to Tara. "What's your first class, Tara?"

"Um." She looked down at her schedule. "English with Torrence, room 120."

Donna smiled brightly. "Oh, you're a senior. Ope and I are in that same class; we're seniors also."

Tara opened her mouth to let them know that she was technically a junior. She was only taking AP classes due to her education in St. Francis, which was the best school for girls in the area where she lived. Of course, she wouldn't want to add that last bit of information to the friends. It would only make them as her further questions. She hated questions.

However, the three friends continued their conversation.

"Figures you're a senior. Teller always likes 'em older," Opie said teasingly as he and Jax exchanged a look.

"Who the hell is Torrence?" asked Jax, grabbing a crumpled paper from his back pocket. "I don't have him."

"Doubt it. AP English, man," answered Opie. "And she's a chick."

"Oh, that's right. I forgot Donna here has you pussy-whipped and made you take that test last year." Jax's words were harsh, but Tara didn't find a tone of meanness in them.

Donna reached over and slapped Jax across the chest. "Hey! Ope has great potential. You should support him. It's good he explores the academics."

Jax snickered. "What for? Opie doesn't want a desk job. He's good with his hands. He's a good builder. How are _academics _going to help in that profession?"

Donna shook her head. "It doesn't hurt, so what's the problem?"

"The problem is you wanna turn Opie into someone he's not." Jax's voice was slowly losing his laughter.

"I'm wanting him to see more options. I don't know what the harm in that is," Donna argued. "It's good to be knowledgeable."

"But his life is already planned out. What's the point?" Jax's voice rose a little higher.

Tara wasn't sure what she preferred: to hear the three talking about _her_ as if she wasn't there or hear an argument that felt intrusive? It all made her uneasy. A quick glance at Opie and she saw he didn't like this conversation either.

Donna gave a huff. "There's no point in arguing with you, Jax." She took Tara by the arm. "Come on, Tara. We're just around the corner." She lead Tara down the hall.

The two guys followed, both having a low conversation.

"Back off, man," Tara heard Opie say in a demanding voice. Jax said nothing, but his face let out he was a little ruffled.

Donna turned and gave Jax a look. "Jax, don't you have P.E.?" Her tone was back to sounding light.

Was she over the fight that quickly or was she just pretending? thought Tara.

"Yeah, I'm on my way there now," answered Jax. His face looked a bit more controlled.

"The gym is in the opposite direction," Donna said as she pointed behind them. "And don't you still have to change?" She looked at his clothes.

Tara turned to look at Jax and further analyzed him. On his left wrist he wore an image of a crow with the initials SAMCRO on it. He had two gold rings on his right hand and a rather expensive looking watch. A gold chain also hung from his neck.

Tara didn't take Charming to be a rich town, so how was this guy able to afford the jewelry? Then, she noticed it. He walked with a limp. Tara doubted it was due to a medical or health condition. Jax Teller was the absolute walking image of a hoodlum. He was bad news—all the signs were clearly there—and although she had not listened to her instincts a little less than a year ago, she was sure never to ignore them again.

"Teachers don't give a shit about the first day back to school," Jax said to Donna. "They just ask stupid fucking questions of what we all did during vacation. It's idiotic bullshit."

He had a mouth on him too. Tara really had to stay clear of him. She looked ahead and found her room was only a few steps away. She turned to Opie and Jax. Although she didn't think too highly of them, it didn't mean she had to be rude. "It was nice meeting you."

She made a dash towards the door before—

A muscular arm blocked her way. "So, I guess I'll check you later?" Jax asked in a low voice.

Tara wondering if everyone in the hall could hear her heart threatening to leap out of her chest. "I, uh, guess." She tried to duck under his arm.

His entire body moved, blocking her completely. "Maybe we'll have some of the same classes."

He was so tall, towering over her. She kept her eyes to his chest, afraid to look up. She frowned as she found a patch of a crow on his jacket. Another crow. Did he consider the animal his totem or something?

He placed his forefinger and thumb onto her chin. She didn't know what surprised her more: his boldness or the fact that his touch felt so gentle. She couldn't think too much about it, since he pushed her head back, making her look up. All she could see was blue once more. "We could be study partners."

She felt his hot breath on her; more tobacco, and a strong hint of mint as well. She didn't know why the smell made her feel so dizzy.

Thank God for Donna. She stepped in between the two of them. "Alright, that's enough, Jax. We're all gonna be late." She took Tara by the arm and pushed Jax off. "Please be sure the water is as cold as it can be before stepping into that shower."

Tara could hear both boys chuckling.

"Opie, come on," called out Donna. She took a seat at the back of the class and dragged Tara along. "You can sit next to Ope and me."

As Tara took the seat right in front of Donna, she turned and to find Opie and Jax doing an arm shake and saying their goodbyes. Opie entered the room as Jax stayed by the door, looking at her. His cocky, side grin had remained on his face. For several moments, he stayed there looking at her. And she looked back, not sure if she was even breathing. Not sure if she _cared_ if she was breathing.

Then, he gave her a wink and turned away. He didn't look back.

Tara cursed at herself. Why was she reacting this way? Had she not learned? Bad boys were filled with nothing but lies and deceit. She couldn't let another one affect her this way again.

Another bell went off and it broke Tara away from her thoughts.

Class started.

/

~JAX~

"Why so much, man?" asked one of the scrawny, little Mexican freshmen after Jax told him the price for the fake IDs.

Jax gave him a hard look. "These don't come cheap, _ese_. Do you want them or not?" He looked at the other two boys, both of them Asian.

They seemed to contemplate it for a while.

Jax rolled his eyes. Children. He placed the IDs back into his pocket. "Fine." He started to walk away.

"No, no, no, no!" all three boys said in unison.

Jax held back his smile at triumph. He took out the IDs once again and extended his left hand at them.

They each coughed up the money. Jax gave them all the IDs. "Pleasure doing business, boys."

"Mr. Teller, what a surprise to see you here," came a voice from behind.

Jax turned and found Principal Margaret walking towards him, a stern look in her eyes.

The kids surrounding him began to scatter away. Pussies, he thought. He quickly put the money inside of his boxers, knowing full well Principal Margaret wouldn't search him there. "Hey, Marge. How was the summer?"

He knew she hated the nickname. Her look only turned dirty. "Mr. Teller, I really hope you weren't selling those children cigarettes."

Jax feigned a pained look. "Principal Margaret, how could you ever think—"

"We're not doing this again, Mr. Teller," she stated. She finally reached him and was now at eye level with him. She was one tall, black lady. "You are going down a straight path this year, understood? You and your mother promised me that at the end of the last school year. Don't you remember?"

Yes, he did. It had been right after he was caught with $3,000. He had been selling marijuana to a bunch of students during the last day of school. Thankfully, he had noticed Principal Margaret catching him in the act and he was able to fix it. He made it seem as if the kids had bought from him regular, plain cigarettes instead.

It had worked. His mother had come into the office and had a talk with Principal Margaret. Both had a meeting about his academic behavior. Given the fact that up until last November, Jax had been a pretty decent student, Principal Margaret went easy on him.

And Jax hated it. Hated the pity she had for him, which made him want to break the deal she and his mother had made even more.

"I remember my mother making that promise to you, not me," he answered truthfully.

Principal Margaret crossed her arms, a look of concern marked across her face. "Mr. Teller, you were never an overachiever at school, but you were never one to not care for it either. All of your tests point out that you are in fact a very bright student. You just don't like homework—which is why you end up with Cs. I'm sure if all of your classes require you to only take exams, you'd walk out with high Bs and maybe even As. But then this last semester happened. I cannot imagine what you must be going through—"

"You're right, you don't. So don't try," he snapped. He didn't want to hear this. Didn't want to discuss this topic, especially with a complete stranger. He moved passed her.

She reached over and took a hold of his arm.

Before she could even say anything, he pulled away from her. "Don't touch me," he said lethally.

With anger boiling through him, he walked away from the corner of the building, pissed. The image of the person he had most loved appeared in his memory.

He shook his head, pushing away that hurtful image.

Jax made a turn and walked into one of the main buildings.

He bumped into someone as he walked around the corner of the main hall. Usually, the person he would bump into tended to be the one to stumble back due to Jax's 6 foot figure. However, this time it was he who took two steps back. Only one person in this school had the physical figure to do that to him.

Opie gave him a nod. "Hey." He was leaning back against the wall.

Jax returned the nod. "What's up, bro?" He tried to shake off his mood, not wanting Opie to notice something was off.

However, Opie wasn't his best friend for no good reason. "You alright, man?" he asked with concern.

Jax shook his head. "Don't wanna talk about it."

Opie just gave a nod and didn't say anything more.

At that moment, Donna appeared.

Opie's face brightened and welcomed her with a hug. "Hey, you."

The two began to do that lovey shit that annoyed the hell out of Jax. "You just saw each other last period. Fuck."

Opie ignored him. "How was AP Stats?"

"Good," answered Donna.

"Anyone you like in that class?" asked Opie, teasingly.

He was being sarcastic of course. Everyone who knew Donna loved her. And she loved everyone. Jax had yet to meet one person who had a problem with his small, brunette friend.

Donna smacked Opie lightly for the tease. "I've already got myself a study group."

Jax rolled his eyes. "Jesus Christ. It's only the first day back."

"One can't be too prepared," his friend answered.

"Who are they?" asked Opie.

"Rachel, Paulette, and the new girl Tara."

Jax's mood changed at hearing this name. Donna had his full attention.

Donna knew him too well. She turned to him. "She's actually not a senior. She's a junior. She just transferred over from Sacramento. Apparently she went to some real good Catholic private school up there. She's not the one who said all this; it was Mr. Ferdinand who did. He's originally from there and was asking her all these questions. You can tell she hated the attention. Poor thing looked more than embarrassed when all eyes were on her once we learned she was a year younger than us."

Opie frowned. "I've never heard of a junior taking any kind of AP classes."

Donna shrugged. "According to Mr. Ferdinand, it's not so uncommon in other schools." She pointed a finger at Jax, warningly. "And you."

"What?" he feigned a puzzled look.

If looks could kill. "You _know_ what. Leave the poor thing alone. She's new, she's timid, she hates attention. Not at all your kind of girl, Jax."

"She has tits, that's the kind of girl for Jax," Opie joked.

"You know what I mean. She appears to be a really nice girl, Jax. Please, don't screw with her," Donna pleaded.

Forbidden fruit. It only enticed Jax more. "I won't. I'll be friendly."

"I don't _want _you to be friendly. Stay away."

Before Jax could answer, the warning bell rang. He turned before his friends started smooching once again.

He was caught by Donna. "Where do you think you're going?"

"Class." He gave her an innocent smile.

She shook her head. "I know you have History next period. And there's only one History teacher in this school." She pointed towards the room across from them.

Jax didn't even know his own schedule, how did Donna know?

"I'm the one that picked up your schedule this morning, remember?"

That, she had. He had forgotten. Or he just didn't figure Donna would be like his mother and be snooping in his business.

Donna pushed Jax towards the door. "Go. Or I'll call your mother."

Jax let out a sigh. He guessed he could stay a while and sneak off when the teacher wasn't looking.

Behind him, he heard Opie snickering. "Pussy."

Jax ignored him and entered the class. There were two students already seated. One of them was sitting in the very front of the class who was Paulette—the school brain. The other was sitting off the end of the class. She was looking the other way, her hair cascading down into her desk. Jax immediately knew who it was.

With his mood quickly turning bright, he made his way over to her. He took the seat right behind her.

She noticed him. She turned to him, looking like a deer in headlights.

Jax smiled at her astonishment. "We meet once again."

She shook her head. "You're—in this class?" she sounded frightened.

"Guess so," he answered as he leaned back and stretched out his left leg next to hers.

She turned away as he saw her neck growing red.

Was she this skittish with everyone or just him? She seemed fine around Donna, but then again, Donna put everyone at ease.

"I hear you're from Sacramento." He wanted to get close to her, know her a little better. Over the last few years, he had learned how to be a good predator. He needed to learn a little about his hunt before going in for the attack.

Tara kept her focus on her desk. She gave a nod, but said nothing further.

She wasn't immediately jumping for joy at his attention as the other girls at school did when he gave it. This was new to him. And he couldn't seem to dislike it. All the opposite, it was a challenge.

He sat up and leaned all the way over in his chair, getting physically closer to her. "Why are you avoiding me?"

Before Tara could react or respond, a figure came next to them, interrupting. Jax let out a groan at the sight of who it was. David Hale. Clean cut, prim and proper, Captain American David Hale.

Jax and he were always at odd with one another. He was the only guy in school who didn't seem to be afraid of Jax or liked him. Jax wasn't sure if he either admired this trait of Hale or not. At the moment though, it was a big not.

Hale took a seat next to Tara. "Looks like you found your next victim, Teller. Suggestion: don't." He gave Jax a warning look.

Jax snickered as he leaned on his chair. "Can't you ever mind your own business, Hale?"

Hale ignored him and turned to Tara. "Hi, the name's David." He extended his hand to her.

She was hesitant to take it. She didn't make eye contact with him as she introduced herself. "Tara." She went back to whatever it was she was doing.

Hale turned to Jax and gave him a dirty look. "Teller is the definition of bad news, so if you have any troubles, let me know."

Tara didn't answer.

Jax wanted to reach over and sock the straight-arrow boy right in the mouth. "Blow me, Hale."

"Very classy there, Teller. You sure know how to behave around a _decent_ girl. All you're used to are white trash drooling all over you."

Jax bit down onto his cheek. He did his best to keep his cool. However, he wasn't well known for lasting very long without firing back.

Hale shook his head in disgust. "You're pathetic, Teller."

"Yet, here you are wasting your breath on me," Jax snapped back.

Several other students had made their way into the classroom and filled the chairs. No one wanted to sit near the potential fight.

Jax took a glance over at Tara. She was inched as far to the wall as possible. He wasn't an idiot. He wouldn't start a physical fight with a girl so close by.

Then, at that moment, a teacher walked into the class. Jax figured it was his history teacher.

Hale gave Jax one more dirty look.

Jax gave him the finger.

Hale turned to the teacher just as the bell rang.

"Welcome to U.S. History, students. My name is Mr. Abel and I will be your teacher for the next year."

"Probably not for all of us," Hale muttered under his breath.

Tara shot Hale a quick glance.

Jax really was gonna kick this guy's ass.

The teacher kept talking. "You'll come to see I run a pretty unorthodox class. I like my students to talk during class—of course, as long as it has to do with the subject. I love reading essays, so you will be turning in eight of them to me throughout the year—four for each semester. I love reading, so we will be doing a lot of that."

Great, Jax thought. This is going to be a fun class.

"I don't like tests, which is why at the end of the semester you will be graded solely on your individual performances in my classroom."

Jax's sarcastic thoughts died away. He could like this teacher.

Mr. Abel took out a paper from his briefcase. "I also believe having a partner during the school year helps tremendously in earning a good grade, which is why as I take role, I will be randomly pairing people." He looked down at his role sheet and started calling names.

Jax heard Tara give out a sigh and seemed to scratch her head. He frowned at this action. Was she worried about something?

Hale leaned over to her. "Don't worry, most of the people in here would make good partners."

She gave a small nod and looked away from him.

Jax's curiosity on the girl further deepened. She didn't seem to be too keen in talking to Hale either. Jax didn't particularly like Hale, but many students in his class did. Personally, Jax hated Hale's stupid self-righteousness which is why he couldn't stand the guy. But it was that same trait which appealed to everyone else. Tara just seemed to not be comfortable around guys.

This only made Jax grin.

"Teller, Jackson," called out Mr. Abel.

Jax slightly raised his arm. "It's Jax."

Mr. Abel made a note on his sheet. "Mr. Teller, you will be assigned to…Knowles, Tara." Mr. Abel scanned the room, looking for said student.

Jax was really loving this teacher. He leaned over, his head only inches away from the back of Tara's head.

Tara slowly raised her hand.

Mr. Abel smiled at her. "Wish you both all the best." He went down his list again.

Jax could see from the corner of his eye Hale was not a happy camper. He ignored Captain America and got closer to Tara. "Guess I'm gonna need your number, darlin'."  
Tara said nothing. Her head was bowed down, her hair falling down her face.

Jax reached over and brushed her hair back. He liked the feel of it. "What's the best time that I can come over? I work til 10 every day, so it'll have to be at night when we meet."

Tara's ear became a bright red.

"Leave her alone, Teller," Hale warned and pushed Jax's hand away from Tara.

Jax's head snapped over at Hale. Did he _want _to die? He was ready to get to his feet.

"Gentlemen," came Mr. Abel's voice.

Jax and Hale both turned to the adult.

"You two really aren't behaving like children right now, are you? Do I need to take out my ruler?" he asked in a blasé tone.

Jax knew that if he made any kind of swing at Hale here in class, he would have an earful right when he got home. He had just gotten his bike early this summer for his 16th birthday. His mother had been clear. He was under probation. If he got into any kind of trouble in this school year, the bike would be taken away from him.

Luckily for Hale, Jax loved his bike too much. He bit down his anger as much as he could and looked away from Hale.

Mr. Abel started his introduction to U.S. History. Jax wasn't paying attention; he was too focused on the new girl in front of him. He tried everything. He tapped her shoulder, she didn't turn around. He played with her hair, she ignored it. He stretched out both legs beside her and touched hers. She wasn't budging. He would have most girls on his lap by now. He'd have to find out about her. Donna had made a good impression. Surely Donna could be useful.

When the bell finally rang, Tara was the first to her feet, Jax trailed behind her. He noticed Hale wanted to dash after them, but thankfully, students were blocking him.

Before Tara could even reach the door, Jax had his arm around her shoulders. "Hey, do you have 4th or 5th lunch period?"

Tara grew stiff underneath his touch. "Uh…I have a class right after this." She tried to move away from him.

He held her close. "That means you have 5th lunch period. Good. Ope and I do too. We have an open campus, so we can get a bite to eat. There's this small diner at the end of town—"

"Sorry, I have other plans," Tara mumbled as she rushed out of his reach.

Jax started to go after her, only to be pulled back.

"Spanish class is in the other side of the building," said Donna as she held on to Jax's jacket.

Jax wanted to wring her little neck.

Donna gave him an innocent smile. "I can still call your mom."

Damn her. "You're lucky you have Ope as your body guard," he said half-jokingly.

"She's not interested, Jax." Donna turned and walked away.

Jax looked up and found Tara standing outside of a classroom, looking straight at him. They held each other's gaze for a bit before she embarrassingly dashed into the class.

Jax smiled. "Oh, yes she is." He headed towards his next class.

/

~TARA~

Tara made her way out of the main building. Her last class had ended, thankfully. Day one was over with.

She made her way over to the other side of the building where the steps were. The student parking lot was right next to it. She looked around and found something that immediately caught her eye.

Jax. He was sitting on top of his bike with a pair of old sunglasses, leather gloves, and a pair of blondes.

There were two tall attractive females surrounding Jax and his bike. The blond bimbos were giggling at something Jax was saying. He reached over and touched one of the girl's chins endearingly. Tara thought she heard him call one of the girls "darling". Opie too had a bike and was parked right next to Jax. There were two girls talking to him as well. They seemed to be flirting with Opie, but he didn't seem to be giving it back.

Tara's attention went back to Jax, just in time to see his hand start lingering down the girl's blouse.

She felt her blood boiling. That jerk. She knew it. Knew it upon looking at his attire.

Someone bumped her from behind, getting her attention. "Hey," the person greeted.

Tara turned and found Donna. "Hi," Tara greeted back.

Donna smiled. "Have you had lunch yet?"

Tara shook her head.

"Oh, good. You can eat with us," Donna offered.

Us. Lunch with Donna and the two bikers. Yeah. Not going to happen.

"Oh, no thank you. My dad's picking me up in a little while." Or at least she hoped he was. She wasn't sure if he would remember. She had left a message on the kitchen counter, reminding him of his promise he made her.

Promise. A word her old man didn't know the definition to.

Donna frowned. "It's the middle of the day. Don't you still have more classes afterwards?"

"No, I only have four classes every day, which are in the morning. On Tuesdays and Thursdays I have two classes at Delta."

"Delta?" Donna asked, looking confused.

"Delta College in Stockton. I'm taking two college courses," explained Tara.

"Oh, wow. That's cool."

Tara nodded, her stare turning back to Jax. One of the girls was now fully sitting on his lap.

Donna followed Tara's gaze. "I heard you have Jax in History."

Tara nodded. "Yeah." Her eyes didn't move away from the sight in front of her. Now, both blondes were on his lap.

"Can I ask you something, Donna?" she asked as her eyes were still glued on Jax.

Donna had a pretty good idea as to what it was. "Do you really wanna know?"

Tara turned to the brunette. "Yes."

Donna turned to Jax. "I've known Jax since elementary school. He's a great and loyal friend. He's a hard worker—he has a part time job as a mechanic in his late dad's autoshop. He's funny as hell. He can have me laughing a minute after me yelling at him," she said with an endearing snicker. Then, there was a long pause.

Tara felt a "but" coming.

Donna let out a sigh and turned back to Tara. "And I'm only saying this because I can see you're a sweet and very bright girl. You're not like most of the girls here who have no ambition and believe Fate has their lives written for them already." She looked Tara straight in the eye and with a bit of a struggle, Donna let it out. "Point blank: Jax is a complete man-slut. Every week he has a new girl. Every time you see him in that bike he has a different blonde riding in the back. He doesn't care for relationships—he doesn't believe in a girlfriend. All he cares about is the image he paints as he rides that Harley and leather jacket. When it comes to boyfriend material, Jax Teller has a _long_ way to go."

It sounded very familiar to Tara. The memory of that jerk came back to her. "So, he just uses girls then."

Donna gave a shrug. "He's not faithful, that's for sure. I would never recommend him to a good friend." She held Tara's stare for a while. "Be warned."

Tara shook her head in disgust. "All guys are the same."

Donna smiled. "Not all of them." She waved goodbye to Tara as she walked over to Opie. As soon as Opie spotted her, he pushed pass the two girls flirting with him and welcomed Donna with a hug and a kiss.

/

~JAX~

"So, when are you going to take me out on a ride, Jax?" the blonde sitting on top of Jax asked him as she stroked his chest.

Jax sent her a grin. "Maybe this weekend, I can come over and we can head out to the Bluffs. How does that sound?"

This made her almost giggle. "Sounds good." She pulled out his palm and she wrote her number down on it with her pen. "Don't forget to call me." She reached over and gave him a peck.

He looked down at his palm. "I sure won't."

The other blonde reached over to her friend. "Come on, Wendy. Time to go."

Wendy, the blonde on top of him, was pulled off and dragged away.

"You're such a little slut, Jax," said Donna as she sat on Opie's lap.

Jax grinned at her. "I just love a lot more, darling."

Opie snickered.

Donna gave her a look. "Jax, if you continue to do this—"

"Don, please don't start," Jax asked. "We've been through this. Not everyone finds their soul mate when they're kids, like you and Opie."

"Not if you don't allow it to," Donna argued. "For all you know the girl of your dreams has already come by, but you decided to not call her the next day because you were too busy sleeping with girl number 52."

Jax rolled his eyes.

Opie shook his head. "He hasn't found her yet."

Donna frowned. "How do _you_ know?"

"When you find the right girl, there ain't no way you're gonna let her slip through your fingers," Opie said in complete seriousness.

"Aw, that's sweet, baby." Donna reached over for a kiss.

Jax felt like he was going to throw up. He turned away from his two friends, his eyes catching sight of something interesting.

She had on some faded blue jeans shorts with a brown tee. She had a long sleeved flannel shirt on that had the sleeves rolled all the way to her elbows. Everything seemed a size too big on her. Jax wasn't much of a stylist, but the colors were all wrong for her porcelain skin. Her hair was medium length and wavy—most girls now were straightening their hair and letting it grow as long as possible. She wore no makeup, except a bit of mascara and ChapStick (he had seen her put some on during History). Every time he was near her, he didn't smell a perfume on her. He could only get a scent of the clean clothes and that was about it. Her fingernails were short with no coloring on them, not even clear polish was put on them. Because he too had the same habit, Jax knew she chewed her nails off.

In one simple word, Tara Knowles was plain. Nothing about her made her stand out. No bright colors made anyone look twice at her. And for some reason, this interested Jax. She didn't care what others thought of her. She probably wasn't even aware someone would disapprove of her style.

Jax didn't notice when he started to walk towards her, but he caught on to what he was doing half the way there.

He could hear Donna calling out to him.

This only caught Tara's attention. When she saw him getting closer, she scanned the parking lot as if looking for her savior.

Jax got to her side. There was a bar separating the both of them. "Thinking of ditching already? I should rethink wanting to hang out with you. You might be a bad influence."

Tara took a step away. "I'm waiting for my ride."

Jax held on to the bar and pulled himself up, jumping over to land at her side with ease. "I can go ahead and take you wherever you need me to, darlin'." He made sure he gave her one of his smiles which drove the girls weak to the knees.

However, her reaction was not what he expected. A flash of anger came across those green eyes of hers.

It was strange. He had seen shyness in her eyes before and curiosity, but not anger.

"No, thank you." Even her tone sounded a little off too.

Jax thought maybe he was getting under her skin. And that was a good thing. He got a little close to her. "Just one ride around the school. I promise, I'll be safe."

This time, the anger stuck in her eyes for a longer period. "No."

She sounded angry, Jax liked that he was bringing out a different side of her.

/

~TARA~

"Why don't you wanna go with me? Scared?" he asked as he leaned over her.

She backed away and avoided his eyes. "No." She tried to sound sterner. She wanted him far away from her. She had already been down this road before. She had already made this mistake once. She wasn't a complete idiot. She wouldn't let him in.

"Then what is it?" His arm snaked around her wrist, making her instantly warm there.

She wanted to push him off. "Honestly?" She asked.

His mouth came close to her ear, making her shiver. "Yes, honestly."

She forced herself to push away from him. A flash of her ex came into her memory. "I know your kind."

He chuckled and cocked his eye brow. "My _kind_?" He looked baffled.

She needed to let it out, before she coward away. "Yes. The love 'em and leave 'em kind. You want me to be a notch on your belt, but let me tell you that it's not going to happen."

His smile did not fade. "I'm _not_ that kind."

She highly doubted it. "Then are you the kind that tosses things after you finish using them?"

He opened his mouth to defend his sorry ass. She didn't let him. "I'm not interested, ok? I just want to go through with this year, get good grades, and get the hell out. All I need is a year in this high school and I'm gone. I'm not like other girls here. I don't belong. So, leave me alone." She grabbed her backpack off the floor and swung it over her shoulder, walking fast out of there.

As she walked, she tried to catch her breathing. Where the hell had that come from? She had never spoken to anyone that way, not even her dad—even though he more than deserved it.

Damn town. She could feel it changing her already.

* * *

**THANKS**: I was surprised by the fast reviews. This is a new world for me and I am grateful that many liked this story so quickly. It adds fuel to the writing! Please, leave your comments, they are more than welcomed.

**AN**: Throughout seasons 1 to 3, I love the fact that Tara looked so Plain Jane. Season 4 she had a bit of a biker chick look going on, but not too much of it. Then, season 5 occurred and the look just became too bold-which makes sense due to her character's psyche in that season. I prefer her being very Plain Jane. That's what makes her so unique in this town.

Also, I like to think that in high school, Tara got to know Donna and got along well with her. The two have so much in common. Both want their families out of the life they're in and both aren't going to wait forever for their husbands. They're strong and smart women, with strong morals. (This friendship will be further explored in this story as well)

**DATE**: 1/10/12


	3. Love With a Stranger

**CHAPTER ****2**: "Love With a Stranger" by Marie Digby

**SUMMARY**: A Friday night in Charming. An old friend of Jax gives him a boost…

**NOTE: **So…I lied. Apparently, I don't know how to write short chapters… This one is almost twice as long as the last one. :/

**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own any of these characters…I wish I did, though.

**TIME PERIOD**: August '94

* * *

~TARA~

When Tara woke up on Friday morning, she wasn't surprised to find her father passed out on the kitchen table.

Almost every morning Friday to Sunday was like this. Her father only worked four days a week, so he spent his free days getting drunk as much as possible. His throw-up reached almost every corner. The booze spilled almost every inch of the carpet and couches. He disgusted her.

He hadn't always been this way, though. Tara had quite a few good memories of her childhood, back when her mother was still alive. The three of them had lived pretty good lives. Her mother had been a realtor and her father had his own construction business. Up until Tara was 8 years old, they had been happy. However, her mother had been diagnosed with cancer. She had gone through chemotherapy, but she hadn't responded to it. She died six months later, leaving Tara alone with an emotional father.

For the first couple of years, her father did his best to run his business and take care of a young girl, but he hit a block and his business suffered for it. He was able to sell his business just in time for a decent amount. He planned to save it until it was necessary. However, her father couldn't find a job that could cover the mortgage and all of Tara's school expenses. There were three things her father prized most after the death of Tara's mother: the house his wife had designed, built, and decorated all on her own, his cutlass (which he had had since he was 17), and Tara's education. He was determined to never give either of them up.

But there was truth to face. He couldn't afford to keep them all. When Tara was 12, she believed he realized this. And instead of coming up with a plan, he turned to the bottle to settle his problems. That booze prevented him from climbing higher at work, which prevented him from being able to afford the three things he held dear.

About three years later, he was in a deeper hole. His boss was finally sick of him and fired him. He tried looking for another job, but word had already spread. Frank Knowles was an unreliable drunk. He went almost a year looking, but did not succeed. Thankfully, there was a buddy of his that lived here in Charming who had found out about her dad's predicament and offered to give him a job. The two had been Vietnam War buddies and according to that buddy of his (whose name was Piney) her dad had saved his life and owed him one.

So, with the money he had made off his old business and still not touched, Frank bought a home he was able to fully pay for in Charming and apologized to Tara for pulling her out of school, which he knew she treasured just as much as he did.

Tara wanted to be angry. She wanted to lash out and throw a fit just like any other teenager would have in her position. But she rationalized. She understood. There was no point in getting angry. What good would it do? She couldn't change it. But, that didn't mean she was at all happy with it either. She had a plan, unlike her father. She would _not_ be stuck in a life full of misery and self-loathing.

She took in a breath (a habit she started at age 10—which she believed her help with what the day might have in store for her), checked to see if her father was still breathing, took his keys to his truck, and headed out the door.

She wasn't allowed to touch the cutlass (mainly because it didn't run well), but could drive the truck whenever she wanted. Her father never went anywhere besides work, anyway. She knew his friend Piney would call every now and again and invite him over to TM—whatever that was. Probably some bar in town. Her father would always decline, though, feigning sickness.

Tara drove out of the driveway and down the street. She made it to school in less than five minutes. She could have walked to school (which took twenty minutes), but she wanted to avoid Jax Teller.

Somehow, the bad boy had found out where she lived and figured out her morning routine. He would come up beside her, riding his motercycle, and make inappropriate comments to her. He complimented her hair, her clothes, her stature, and her looks. At first she thought he was making fun of her. Although she really couldn't care less about what was in style at the moment, she knew she wasn't sex appeal. She knew her clothes made her look plain, so surely a guy like Jax wouldn't think she looked attractive. But there was something about his tone that told her he was being serious. She wished he would have another girl to torture.

Today, she didn't feel like being harassed, so driving the truck was a no-brainer.

She pulled up to a parking spot and saw Donna and Rachel Unser walking right by. They caught saw her arriving and waited.

Once Tara got out of the truck, she greeted her two math partners.

She liked them both. Donna was a sweet girl and tended to always save Tara from Jax. Rachel (a redhead) was an intelligent girl, but wasn't a geek like their other study partner, Paulette. Tara had a feeling Rachel was a bit of a rough girl, she just had that look and vibe.

Rachel and Donna smiled at Tara and greeted back.

Donna looked over at Tara's truck. "Smart move."

Tara knew what Donna was implying. "Yeah, I figured I needed a break."

Rachel frowned. "From what?"

"Jax. Tara is his next target," Donna explained as she began to walk towards the main building.

Rachel nodded, understanding now. "That's right, I heard."

Tara's eyebrows knit together. "What do you mean, you heard?"

Rachel rolled her brown eyes. "Everyone hears everything in this godforsaken town. Jax wants in your pants—half the girls found that out during first period on the first day back to school."

Tara let out a groan. Great. School gossip.

Rachel laughed. "I'd say watch your back. The sluts of this school, which is 90 percent of girls here, will go through great measures to make your life's miserable. They want Jax all to themselves."

"Why? What's so great about him?" His eyes, his hair, his goatie, his jeans, his leather jacket, his bike, his smell—damn, that smell. Tara tried to block all these thoughts out.

Rachel gave her sideways look of disbelief. "Please. You can't stand there and say you don't see it. _Every_ girl in town sees it. The naturally handsome good looks, the leather, the bike, the badass attitude, the fact he can take on anyone under 30 and beat the shit out of them in less than five minutes, the _power_ and _influence _he has in this town makes _any_ girl's panties soaking wet by just _looking_ at him."

The descriptions Rachel was giving sure were doing things to Tara's panties at the moment.

Rachel continued on. "Jax is the Prince of Charming. And ever since last December, he's been trying to find the right foot for the glass slipper he possesses. That glass slipper will crown the next queen of Charming and every girl in this school has tried to fit into that slipper. He's picky, though. Not many girls have been able to try it on. He doesn't last longer than three days interested in a girl. He moves on quickly. You, on the other hand, are breaking every rule they thought existed."

Tara was confused. "Me?"

Donna opened the main building's door for all three of them. They all entered, seeing no one inside. It was forty minutes before school started. Most students, Tara noticed, didn't start arriving until fifteen minutes before first period.

Rachel nodded, walking down the hall. "Over the last eight months, the girls have created a profile for what Jax Teller is looking for: long-hair, blonde, blue eyes, skanky clothing, mediocre intelligence, always wears heels, makeup on perfectly, giggles a lot, a social butterfly, and a great rack."

Tara thought about this. That described more than half of the girls that went to school here. Nothing at all like her.

"You are the opposite of every single description," Rachel said as she glanced at Tara's chest.

Tara grew a bit embarrassed. It was true. She doubted she would ever get bigger than a B-cup. And most of the girls in school were at least Cs. "And?" she asked as she crossed her arms, covering her chest.

"And _yet_, you've managed to have his attention for the last four days. Did you not hear me say his attention span is three days—at most?" Rachel got to her locker and unlocked it.

Tara shook her head. "He's been showing other girls plenty of attention. There seems to be at least two girls draped all over him whenever I see him on his bike."

Rachel cocked an eyebrow. "I've been observing Jax Teller since he was in junior high. Believe me, he is _not_ flirting back. The little touches to the chin and face and calling girls 'darling' is out of habit. Plus, all the girls are going to _him_; he's not seeking them. He's seeking _you_. And I'm willing to bet money on it not changing today, which will mark Day 5."

"He's not," Donna said as she too opened up her locker. "I was just talking to him last night. He keeps asking questions about you," she said as she looked at Tara.

Tara's full attention was on the brunette. "What kind of questions?"

She didn't notice Rachel smiling.

Donna placed a book into her locker and pulled out another, sticking it into her backpack. "Your life, your parents, what your likes and dislikes are."

Tara couldn't stop herself. "And what did you say?"

Donna shrugged. "I don't know very much, so I didn't _say_ much." She gave Tara a side smile. "You're a pretty mysterious person. All I know from you is that you're one intelligent girl and you keep to yourself."

Tara looked away, a bit embarrassed.

"Hey, it's alright," Donna said. "We're all pretty private in this town, some of us are just better at showing it. Not to mention you've only been here for a month. We're all strangers."

"He's gonna find out everything about you though, Jax," said Rachel as she closed her locker. "Once he sets his mind on something, there's no way of getting it out of him."

"There's nothing he's going to find," Tara said. "Let him dig around and ask questions. There's nothing interesting about me."

"I'd think he'd beg to differ," argued Rachel. "Believe me, this interest he has in you is unlike anything I've seen from him."

Tara felt herself growing a bit hot.

"Cuz you know him so well?" asked Donna with a laugh.

Rachel turned to her friend. "You've known me how long? Ten years? Is there anyone _else_ in this town who's more observant than me? I'm the eyes and ears of this town. I have a third eye—a sixth sense, I tell you."

"Wouldn't have anything to do with your uncle being Chief of Police, now would it?" asked Donna with a cocked brow.

Rachel smiled innocently. "Hey, he loves the gossip as much as I do."

"And I'm sure whatever he doesn't want to share with you, you start looking through his office?" Donna accused.

"Look, I love my Uncle Wayne. He took me in when my drunk mommy couldn't raise me anymore. I love him to no end and am a very obedient niece. But curiosity beats the best of me sometimes." She looked shameless. She turned to Tara. "I could tell you all you need to know about Jax Teller. Because as much as he is interested in you, I know you're interested in him."

This took Tara aback. "What? I am not—"

"Please. Must I go over again, how every girl that is between the ages of 13 to 23 is interested in the Prince of Charming? There's no girl within that age frame that wouldn't want to know _everything_ about him—good or bad."

"If every girl is interested, why isn't Donna?" Tara asked as she looked at Donna.

Donna made a disgusting face. Probably thinking about being interested in Jax was a turn off.

Rachel turned to Donna. "Several reasons. First, Donna got to know Jax Teller before he became that hunk of love burnin' love he is now. She also met Opie in elementary school. Jax Teller became a god when he started high school. Donna and Opie were together _way_ before then, enabling her from thinking of Jax as a sex god."

"And you? Why aren't _you _interested in Jax Teller?" Tara challenged. She had noticed how Rachel acted with Jax around. She didn't give him a second look, or grew embarrassed, or threw herself at him like the rest of the girls (Donna being the exception) in school.

Tara caught Donna smiling from the corner of her eye.

Rachel snickered. She held Tara's stare. "Because _just_ like Jax, I am also into long-hair blondes with blue eyes, skanky clothing, mediocre intelligence, who always wear heels, makeup on perfectly, giggle a lot, are social butterflies, and have great racks." She smiled wickedly.

It took a while for Tara to process what Rachel had just said. Then it hit her. "Oh."

Rachel kept on her smile. "But even though I may be gay, I have no doubt in my mind that if Jax Teller were to stroll up to me right now, drag me into that janitor's closet, and started making out with me, I would burst on fire. He'd be the only guy to do that to me."

Donna laughed. "That's disgusting."

"The pussy wants, what the pussy wants and from what I hear his dick can make a girl cum by simply staring at it," Rachel said with a wink.

Donna gagged. "Eww! I did _not_ want to hear that!"

Rachel laughed. "My second cousin, Emily, told me so. She gave a lot more information, but I'm betting you really don't wanna know."

Donna held up a hand, stopping her friend. "No, thank you." She shivered in disgust.

A question popped into Tara's head which she meant to ask silently, but came out out loud instead. "Who's Emily? Does she go to school?" Dammit! Asking this simply proved to Rachel that she was interested in the biker, which she really didn't want to be,

Rachel smiled. "Emily Duncan. She no longer goes here. She graduated five years ago."

This shocked Tara. "That makes her at least 22!"

Rachel nodded. "She's 23, actually. Her and Jax hooked up a few months back. Around the time he turned 16."

Tara didn't know how to react to this. That was a big age difference. It was statutory rape!

"From what I hear Jax doesn't fuck anyone who isn't at least 19. There've been some seniors who've given him head, but never more than that. Doesn't seem to stop the girls of this school from trying, though."

Tara remembered back to the first day when Opie said something about how Jax tended to like much older women. She didn't think he would go with anyone older than 18.

Another thought came out of her mouth before she could stop it. "Then why try with me? He can have any girl—who's more experienced."

Rachel shrugged. "Hell if I know." She put on her sunglasses. "Well, I'll catch the two of you 2nd period." She began to walk off.

Donna called out to her. "Where are you going?"

Tara was sure Donna knew Rachel's first class was not in the direction she was going.

Rachel sent her a sly smile. "Meeting up with a blue-eyed blonde."

Donna shook her head with a smile. "It's a good thing Rachel's gay. She and Jax would be a _bad_ combination. They're the exact same."

Donna sat down on the ground and took out her copy of _The Bluest Eye_, which was their assigned literature for AP English.

Tara took out her copy and tried to read as well, but the conversation with Rachel kept her from focusing. Damn her.

/

~JAX~

Jax drove up to the student parking lot with five minutes left for the bell to ring. He got a lot of looks and waves from at least a dozen girls as he parked his bike. Opie came to his side on his bike and parked as well. The girls also greeted him, but he paid them no mind. He was a bit upset at the moment.

They had had a rough morning. Opie's dad had wanted them to drop some things off at Teller-Morrow. With loading all the boxes (which neither boy knowing what was inside) and then unloading them, it had taken them two hours. Due to this errand, Opie had missed a whole thirty minutes he usually spent with his girlfriend in the morning.

Jax didn't get it. He loved Donna, he really did. He understood Opie falling in love with her and his faithfulness to Donna, but Jax just couldn't wrap his head around the two of them needing to spend every waking moment together. Opie would get up every morning at 6:30 to get ready for the day, ride over to Donna's home at precisely 7AM, drive her to school, and hung out with her until class started. The two of them also had three class periods together as well. And as soon as school ended, there they were hugging each other and making out like crazy. Jax just didn't get it.

Jax turned over to his best friend of 16 years. Yup, he was still pissed. "It's alright, bro. You have Donna the very first period."

Opie didn't say anything as he took off his helmet. He placed it inside his pack and began to hurry to the building. "Catch you later."

Jax shook his head. He took off his helmet and left it on his bike. He didn't worry if someone would steal it. He took off his gloves, and as he did so, he stared a while at his left forearm. The image of a tomb reminded of the numbness he felt at times and tried to forget. His first and only ink was there displayed. It was a memorial for his father, John Thomas Teller. Jax had gotten it as soon as he turned 16. It had been Jax's household rules. No ink until one was 16. Before last November, Jax didn't know what his first ink would be. His father had lectured him to think long and hard before putting anything on his body. His rules were two and very simple: no woman's name (not even one's own mother—unless she had died) and be sure it has a strong meaning. Jax silently wished his first ink could have been something else. He wished it _had _been a woman's name and that his father could have been lecturing him on the awful decision Jax had made.

The image of hospital doors opening came to Jax's mind. Blood on bed sheets. Monitors. Nurses everywhere.

Jax shook it off. He hated thinking of his father. Any kind of memory sent him to that particular image. The last memory he had of John Teller always made Jax want to blow something up.

Taking deep breaths to cool down, Jax made his way towards gym. He hadn't made it all week to his first period and his mother had gotten a phone call from Margaret yesterday. His bike privileges had been threatened, so he had no choice.

It took him a while to get there, seeing a lot of girls stopped him to greet him. The final bell had rung and he still was not inside the building. It didn't worry him. All he had promised his mother was that he would make it to class—he never promised he would be punctual.

He said his goodbye to the last two girls who had stopped him. He took out a smoke and decided to have one drag before entering one of his least favorite classes. And as he smoked, he heard some giggling coming from around the building. The noise intrigued him, especially when he heard another sound of giggles. There were two girls at least. Maybe they two were ditching as well. With a smile, Jax made his way around the building.

When he got there though, the view was not at all what he was expecting.

There, in front of him up against the gym wall, was a pair of girls heavily making out. One of them was a blonde and she was being grinded against by a redhead Jax could not see the face of.

Jax's smile spread wide, his dick shifting a bit. He stayed still, seeing how long these two would go before noticing him.

To his disappointment, it was immediate. It was the blonde who saw him. She grew scared of Jax's presence and pushed away the redhead.

The redhead turned to see who it was behind her.

Jax smiled. He should have known. Rachel Unser, the Chief of Police's niece. "Rachel," he greeted her. He looked over at the blonde. He didn't know her name, so he just nodded at her.

The poor blonde buttoned up her blouse and pushed off of Rachel, who let out a heavy grown. Stumbling to get her things, Jax had never seen a more scared girl. He had suspicion that no one probably thought she was gay, so someone seeing her in this situation was making her shit in her pants.

Jax wanted to tell her he really didn't care and wouldn't utter a peep. He wasn't a rat. But, he didn't get a chance to. The girl was gone before he could say anything.

Rachel, on the other hand, looked more than bothered. She too was buttoning up her blouse, but staying put. She sent Jax a lethal look. "Thanks, Jax."

He smiled. "Sorry. The whole image shocked me. I didn't know what to do."

She rolled her eyes. "Right. Why is it always you that interrupts my most endearing moments?"

He just gave a shrug, remembering the other times he did in fact catch her groping some girl.

She sent him a stare. "I'll be sure to return the favor once I find you in the same predicament as well, which will happen within the next class period."

Jax feigned hurt and placed his hand across his chest. "You make me sound like a slut."

"Because you _are_ a slut," Rachel said as pulled out a mirror from her backpack. "Main reason why Tara doesn't want anything to do with you."

The mention of the new girl's name made Jax's mood turn a little brighter.

Rachel looked up at him precisely at that moment and smiled wickedly at him. "Is it killing you that she hasn't caved to your hither looks and attitude?"

Jax really wanted to tell Rachel that she was wrong, but he couldn't. It had been four days and the new girl still hadn't given him anything. Not even a touch. He had gone to extremes now. He sought her before and after school, he had placed soft touches on her plenty of times, wrapped his arms around her, whispered to her ear, and even when he had been talking to her he brushed away two girls who had come up to him. He was running out of ideas and it was frustrating as all hell.

Rachel seemed to read his mind. She was good at that; even though he had only been friends with her in junior high Rachel was good at immediately knowing his mood. He had come to know from Opie and Donna that she was this way with everyone. She claimed to have a sixth sense with people.

Rachel sent him a smile as she did retouches on her makeup. "How about going at her from a different angle? Your boldness is obviously not working."

He didn't say anything. He had too much pride to ask for suggestions, which he knew Rachel had.

Again, she knew his question without him asking it. "She likes the bad boy image, what girl doesn't? But, she needs something else. I have a feeling you're not the first bad boy who's tried to get into her pants. She's much too smart. She knows what the consequences would be sleeping with a guy like you."

"A guy like me?" Jax challenged. He was interested how Rachel saw him. She was one of the few people he saw Tara feeling comfortable around. He wanted to know what kind of lies Tara was being fed. He didn't worry too much about Donna; Donna was the sweetest girl he knew and would sugar coat things, but Rachel on the other hand? She was full of bluntness.

Rachel cocked a brow. "A guy who has the town wrapped around his little finger. A guy that didn't show up to half of last semester's classes, but manages to still pass sophomore year. A guy who after getting into a handful of fights, one of which landed in the ER, was never suspended. A guy who would only do something he doesn't want to do when his Harley is being threatened. A guy who strolls into school and knows he can take any girl into the janitor's closet and have his dick sucked and doesn't have to worry about repaying the favor. In a few words, Jackson? You're the _Prince_ of Charming."

There were times Jax didn't like the title that had been given to him since he was born. This was one of those times. There was a negative tone in Rachel's voice when she said his title. Rachel must have told Tara all of this information—had scared her. It made Jax want to grab the bitch redhead by the neck and throw her against the wall.

Rachel saw his anger, but didn't fear it. "I didn't tell Tara any of this, but she's definitely caught on to it. She's the brightest one in this school, may I remind you?" She crossed her arms and looked Jax over.

He didn't like her staring. He could hear her thinking things, but what they were he had no idea. "What?" he demanded.

"I'm remembering the time you caught me with Maria Valdez in the 8th grade," she said as her eyes turned a little soft.

Jax remembered now as well. It had been the first girl he had caught Rachel with. The only brunet Jax remembered Rachel being into. Unlike the other times where the two would exchange a friendly banter on him catching her, that first time had been different.

"I don't think I ever thanked you." Rachel's voice had taken a different tone.

Jax looked down, feeling bad for her for the experience she had gone through—the embarrassment. "She was a bitch."

Rachel nodded. "Yeah."

Jax looked back up and saw Rachel looking down now. Her eyes grew a bit misty. Maria had been a bitch. After being caught, she had pushed Rachel away and claimed Rachel had attacked her. Jax had seen the whole thing though. It had been Maria who had Rachel pinned up against the wall. It had been Maria grabbing onto Rachel's boob. Denying her infatuation for Rachel must have crushed Rachel.

Jax couldn't keep his mouth shut. It was a trait his mother always told him to look out for. He was a hothead and he didn't dislike it. He called Maria every name in the book, calling her out on her bitchiness. He had even threatened her once he saw Rachel was close to falling apart in tears.

Maria never uttered a word to him since then and as far as he knew, she never glanced over at Rachel.

The experience didn't leave Rachel without bruises. Shortly afterwards, she went into a bit of a depression and detached from Jax—probably afraid of Jax judging her. He should have said something to her, but he didn't know what. They grew more distant and eventually didn't speak much to each other or hardly ever.

Rachel let out a sigh and somewhat changed the subject. "Tara is a sweet girl, Jax."

Jax restrained from feeling too angry. He had already gotten the same lecture from Donna.

"And so are you," Rachel shockingly added.

Jax frowned.

"If you want help with her, I'm offering my services. Consider it a long-awaited favor."

Jax knew he liked Rachel. He smiled at her. "What do you have for me?" He wanted as much information on Tara and seeing Rachel was the niece of the Chief of Police, she had to have much information on Tara.

Rachel shook her head. "I like Tara, so I'm not gonna spill any of her secrets. You're gonna have to get those yourself. But I'll help with everything else."

"Like what?"

Rachel smiled wickedly. "There's a party happening at Hector Palacios'. Tonight. I'll have Tara there at 9."

"Tara doesn't seem like the party type." Jax doubted Rachel could get here to go out.

Rachel winked. "I'll get her there, don't worry. You're just gonna have to make sure to be at the party. It'll give you enough time to be at TM for a couple of hours. You can swing by to Hector's for a little bit, and then make it back to TM before anyone misses you."

Jax really wanted to ask Rachel how she knew about TM, but he had a pretty good reason to know how she knew. Her uncle.

Jax nodded. "Sounds cool."

"And act like your true self. Not like the cocky son of a bitch you come across with other girls. If you're serious about Tara, it shouldn't be so difficult." Rachel grabbed her backpack. "And don't mention you going to Tara; it'll only make it impossible getting her there." With that, she left.

Jax happily made his way inside the gym.

/

~TARA~

"I don't do parties," Tara explained to Rachel as she made her way over to the truck.

Rachel and Donna were at her heels.

"Oh, come on, Tara. It'll be fun. Hector isn't heavily popular, so the party won't be too wild. Most of the crazy parties happen over by the tracks—where parents can't hear all the loud music and heavy drinking."

Tara shook her head. "No, I'm good. Thanks." Memories of her ex flushed back to her, preventing her from wanting to go.

"Listen, we can go and after thirty minutes if you feel at all uncomfortable, we can leave and hang out at Yoyo's," Donna recommended.

Tara frowned. "Yoyo's is open that late?" Yoyo was a small diner, one of the three in Charming. They had pretty good food.

Donna nodded. "They're open 24-7. Mainly for the police and firefighters to have a place to eat and hang out in when things are pretty slow at night."

"And SAMCRO," muttered Rachel.

Tara frowned. "Who's Sam Crow?"

Rachel waved away the question. "Will you go or not? Because whatever your answer is, I will be there in your house, dragging you out of it. I have access to your records; I can find out where you live."

Tara felt a bit of fear on the image of Rachel coming up to her house and meeting her father. But she wasn't sure what she feared most. "Will Jax be there?"

He had actually kept his distance from her today. The only time she saw him and knew he was even _in _school was during third period, during History. He kept himself slouched in his chair and barely gave her a glance.

It made her a bit uneasy, and if she was honest with herself, a little disappointed.

Donna was the one to answer. She shook her head. "He and Ope work at the shop every weekend night. They won't be there. If ever they go to a party, it's on a Sunday night."

Rachel gave Tara a puppy face. "Please? It'll be fun."

Tara let out a sigh. It would actually be nice to be out of that house. Plus, she really liked Donna and Rachel. Something told her she could trust them. "Fine."

The two girls smiled widely.

There was one condition. "But after thirty minutes—"

Rachel put up her palm, as if taking a vow. "We'll leave. You can have my keys even."

"What time should I be ready?" asked Tara.

"Well, I work until 8," Donna said. "Give me at least thirty minutes to get ready?"

Rachel nodded. "I'll be at your house at 8:45. I work too and I need a longer time to get ready."

"What time do you get off?" asked Donna.

"6:30," Rachel smiled.

Donna laughed and shook her head. "I forgot it took you a good four hours to get ready for prom last year."

Rachel shrugged. "I'll pick you up first and then Tara."

Negative. "I can go over Donna's. She only lives a few blocks away," Tara quickly offered. She didn't want anyone near her house.

Rachel nodded. "Sounds good."

Tara said her goodbyes to her friends and got in the truck.

"Why not stay for lunch?" asked Rachel.

"I'm sure Donna wants to spend it with Opie and I'm willing to bet Jax will be with him. It's been a good day, I don't wanna ruin it." Tara started her truck and waved goodbye to her friends.

The entire ride home, she thought of what she could possibly wear tonight.

/

~JAX~

Jax felt her lips on him. Her tongue doing things to him his hand could never do. Her hair grazed lightly against his skin, adding a jolt to his thrusts against her throat.

She gagged, but stayed there like the good Crow Eater she was trained to be.

Jax didn't look down at her; it would only ruin the experience. He had learned this early on.

The first time he had fucked a girl had been last December. He had kept his eyes closed the entire time, replaying the recent talk Clay had given him. Clay had given Jax pointers on how to handle his first experience and said the best way to be sure to last until the end was to keep both eyes closed tight. Jax had done so, lasting a good twenty minutes.

For the first few handle of times, Jax kept his eyes closed and got lost in the feeling. He forgot all the shit that had been swarming around his head. Sex was his greatest therapy. However, sometime in January he thought he was ready and opened his eyes up. At first sight, it turned him on. The clear image of the girl taking him as far into her throat as possible had almost made him lose control. Thankfully, he had bit it down. The girl had turned wilder. For the first two minutes, he loved it. Loved the tears coming down her eyes, the noises she made. But it quickly washed away. His passion turned into questions. What was he doing? Was this the way to treat a girl? Was this all he wanted a female with him?

His father's past lectures on how women should be treated came to Jax's memory as the girl mouth fucked him. Shit. His arousal quickly had dissolved. The girl said nothing, but continued her duties as a good Crow Eater. A few minutes later, she had left, leaving Jax alone with his frustrated thoughts. He had become limp. How sad and pathetic had that been?

Jax learned from the lesson, though. He needed to take baby steps. Open his eyes up for a little then shut them before those unnecessary questions could pop up again.

The girl below him raked her nails against his balls. He exhaled sharply. Stupid bitch thought he liked her nails and she did it again. Jax very much wanted to tell her to stop doing it, but because of a past experience he knew what a better handle for this would be. He reached down and took her hand, pulling her up.

He smiled at the sight of her smile with his precum. He tilted her neck back and began to bite it as he lowered the both of them onto the bed. Within a quick five seconds, he was inside of her, not bothering to know if she was wet for him. He knew the answer.

She let out a writhing sound as he pounded into her. His lips went to one of her tits.

This made her grab firmly onto his hair as she kissed the top of his head.

For the next thirty minutes Jax entered her from different angles. It had almost been a year of experience with ten different partners. He had learned quite a bit. Every girl had been different, none liking the same thing. His first time with a girl, he had to try several things before learning what it was she was into. He learned quickly this one in particular liked it doggy style.

Jax had yet to fuck a girl in the ass. He wasn't sure if he was ready for that, so he just fucked her pussy from behind. She settled for it.

He reached his peak first—he always did—but continued to ride her until she came undone herself.

For a good minute, his full weight was on hers. She didn't push him off, she was much too busy catching her breath at the moment to care.

When he finally pulled himself together, he pulled out of her. He took off the condom and tossed it into the trashcan next to the bed. Without a word, he began to change into his clothes.

She rolled over, still breathing heavily. "We can do another round, if you want." She sent him a devilish smile.

He looked down at his watch. 8:40, he had to go. He gave the blonde a half grin as he put on his shoes. "Nah, thanks darlin'. I got plans. But maybe I'll catch you again next weekend."

She bit her lip. "You promise?"

Because he knew better than to make a promise he knew he would not at all keep, he didn't want to answer. He had been raised with the belief that all a man truly possessed was his word, so he needed to think carefully when making promises.

Although this girl in front of him didn't mean much to him and he considered her as unimportant, he still felt strongly against promising her something he would not do.

He went over to her and gave her a rough kiss. "Later." With that, he left the room, not even bothering to close the door behind him.

As he walked down the hall of the clubhouse, someone slapped him on the back.

"Just to let you know, Daisy's screams are always that loud," Clay's right hand man and Sgt. at Arms of SAMCRO, Tig, said to Jax with a wicked grin.

Jax frowned. "Who?"

"Daisy? The chick you were just fucking," Tig explained.

Jax shrugged. He never asked the girls for their names, and when he did he easily forgot them.

The two entered the bar section of the clubhouse. It was completely packed with SOA members, Crow Eaters, and Hang Arounds. Alcohol was seen on everyone's hand. Lip lockage was happening in every corner. There was a blowjob occurring at the back. And an arm wrestle was occurring at one of the tables. A Saturday night always looked like this.

Jax found Opie having a drink with another SAMCRO member, Bobby Elvis.

Opie saw Jax coming over and gave him a cocked eyebrow. "Daisy? Really? That pussy has been seen by almost every dick in the room."

Jax chuckled a bit and grabbed Bobby's beer. "Except for present company, I take it?"

Opie nodded. "Yup."

"Really, Ope?" Tig slapped his hand against Opie's neck. "Man, you gotta expand your fucking. One pussy is bound to get old, kid."

Opie didn't say anything, just took another sip of his beer.

Opie and Donna had been going out since junior high and they had started having sex just earlier this year. Donna was a straight arrow, everyone in SAMCRO knew and they all tried to warn Opie away from her. They all claimed she would try to hold him back from his calling. That she could not or would not be able to accept the world of SAMCRO.

Jax and Opie had been marked since birth. Both were the offspring of two of the founding members of SOA. Both of their fathers had held high positions at the table for years. Jax's father, John Teller (or JT as everyone called him) had been president while Opie's dad, Piney, had been his Sgt. at Arms. Clay had been JT's VP. After JT's death last year, Piney had become VP, with Clay taking chair as President. Both Clay and Piney kept mentioning to Jax that Piney being VP was only temporary, until Jax was ready to take the chair.

The title would be a long one to get to. Jax had to go through initiation and become a Prospect—which couldn't occur until he turned 17. A Prospect had a minimum probation of one year and to be in SAMCRO one needed to be at _least_ 18. Jax had turned 16 at the very end of spring, which meant that for the next nine months, he had to prove to everyone in SAMCRO he was Prospect material. This meant being a Hang Around, sleeping with Crow Eaters, getting into tussles, starting fights at random bars (and winning), and befriending as many SOA members as possible.

There was no doubt Jax was going to be SAMCRO, it was in his blood. But the time to get there was too damn long for him.

Jax looked over at Opie. "Ready?"

Opie nodded and began to get his stuff together.

Bobby gave him a look. "Where you two goin'? The party hasn't even started."

"I'm sure Jax would beg to differ," Opie said with a smirk.

Jax put on his gloves. "We'll be back later. Just gotta take care of something."

"Clay won't like knowing you two have left," Tig said warningly.

Jax gave him a look. "Then keep the mouth shut for the next hour or two. We'll be back before you know it."

Tig didn't look to like the idea.

Jax gave him a look. "I'm bound to be VP, in case you've forgotten. I won't forget this."

Tig seemed to consider this. Then he gave a nod to the two teenagers.

Jax gave Tig a slap on the back. "Two hours max. Just say I'm with some Crow Eaters."

"And Opie?" Tig asked. "Piney might doubt he's being unfaithful to his straight-arrow girlfriend."

Jax shrugged. "Say you sent him over to run some slave business. He's a Prospect and you wanna send him through hell." He always had a plan. "It'll work. Don't worry."

Jax gave Opie the nod and they both headed out of the clubhouse.

Jax hadn't given Opie too much information on where they were going, so when they came up Hector Palacios' street, his head turned to Jax.

Jax gave him a smile as he parked.

Opie pulled up next to him and parked as well. "Leaving a party at the clubhouse for a girl? Jackson Teller, you are not the best friend I've known since birth,"

Jax shook his head. "It's messing with me, man. As soon as I've gotten her in bed, or at least made out with her, I'll be able to think straight again."

"Just letting you know Donna and I have a bet going on," Opie said as the two walked towards the house with the music. "How long is it gonna take til the cave."

"I think I can make her cave by tonight. Perfect opportunity," Jax said with determination.

Opie gave him a disbelief look. "We meant until _you _cave."

"What?" How could his best friend bet against him?

Opie laughed. "Listen man, I got two classes with her and the way the teachers spoke of what school she was in shows she's nothing like us. She's real smart and sweet. Donna loves her already. We both know Donna loves everyone, but it usually takes her a while."

The thought his best friend believed a girl was too good for him made his stomach turn.

Opie felt this. "That's not what I mean, brother. I'm not saying you don't deserve a girl like that. What I'm saying is she's very much like Donna. She's smart. She actually values herself. She knows what she's worth and she's not about to accept anything less."

Jax didn't know how to answer that. He knows what Opie is implying. Jax shook his head. He didn't want to think about this. It was supposed to be a game—nothing serious. Damn Opie.

Jax tried to ignore what Opie had just said as he strolled up to the house. He scanned around, trying to find Donna's mom's car. "Did Donna drive?"

Opie shook his head. "Donna said Rachel was picking both her and Tara up from Donna's house."

Just as they both were about to come to the door, out came Rachel Unser. "Perfect timing."

Jax gave her nod. "She here?"

Rachel nodded. "We got here five minutes ago. The deal is she stays for thirty minutes, minimum. You got yourself _at least_ twenty minutes. And you better hurry cuz David's talking her ear off."

Jax hurried to go inside. "Thanks."

Opie was right at his side. "You and Rachel are teaming up?"

Jax didn't answer.

Rachel looked at Opie with a smile. "Wanna do Jax a favor?"

Opie turned to Jax. Jax could see the hesitation in his best friend.

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Don't worry. It'll be harmless." She took Opie's arm and began to drag him away.

Opie turned to Jax. "Tell Donna I'll be right in."

Jax nodded and made his way into the party; about a dozen girls surrounded him instantly. He gave them all a bit of attention.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a pair of brunettes sitting on a couch. Jax turned fully, already knowing the shape of those two heads. Tara and Donna were both occupied, talking to David Hale. The three held drinking cups on their hands and looked to be having a good time. The girls' backs were fully turned away from Jax, so it was easy for him to come up beside Tara and wrap his arm around her waist.

He felt her jump a bit and she tensed when he leaned over and whispered in her ear. "Didn't see you much today. How you doin'?"

Tara snapped her head to him, looking more than shocked. She opened her mouth, but no words came out.

It was Donna that spoke up. "Jax, what are _you _doing here? Don't you have work?"

Jax kept his eyes glued on the green ones in front of her. "We were given a break, decided to come crash the party."

He had easily come to find these last few days in knowing Tara that simply keeping his eyes locked on hers stirred something. Her eyes turned a deeper green; her pupils went from wider to smaller to back to wider. It was like a burst of emotions were coming out of those eyes. Jax wasn't sure what the emotions actually were, but they did something to him.

"Hey, Teller!" Hale's most annoying voice pulled Jax's eyes away from Tara's.

Hale looked more than annoyed. "We were talking here."

Jax moved behind Tara as he wrapped his other arm around her. "Go rescue a baby seal, Hale."

Before Hale could say anything, Rachel came rushing in, grabbing Hale's hand. "David. Hurry!"

Hale's face turned to concern. "What is it?"

Rachel tugged, looking more than mortified. "It's Candy. She's passed out drunk and not breathing well. It might not be too serious. Can you look at her? She's in the bathroom."

Hale nodded. "Yeah, of course." And like the good little Captain America he was, he left.

Rachel turned to Jax and gave him a wink and smile.

Jax had never felt more grateful that Hale was such a good Samaritan.

Tara turned to Donna. "Maybe we should go help—"

Donna was lifted off her feet by a big, tall figure. She let out a laugh. "Opie!"

Opie set her down on, spun her around, and kissed her. "You miss me?"

"What are you doing here?" She wrapped her arms around him. "You're never allowed out of work."

"I got lucky." He leaned over and gave her another kiss.

Jax rolled his eyes in disgust. His eyes once again landed on Tara. She wasn't looking at him though, she was staring at the couple in front of her. Her features were soft and Jax could tell her mind was somewhere else.

/

~TARA~

It always confused Tara seeing Opie like this. On the exterior, Opie looked like a mess of bad news. He was huge and unapproachable. However, the more Tara saw him speak and saw how he was around Donna, Tara saw how he was really the complete opposite. He was kind to Donna and gentle. Around Jax, he was funny and witty. In class, the rare times he spoke, his thoughts were bright and deep. Tara was starting to think the saying was true. You really can't judge a book by its cover.

Opie smiled down at Donna. "Wanna go for a ride? I got at least an hour before I gotta get back."

Donna immediately nodded. She turned to Tara. "Sorry."

Tara shook her head. She knew Donna and Opie were only able to see each other during the week. During the weekend both worked. "We'll hang out this weekend," Tara said to her friend.

Donna gave her a bright smile. "Thanks!" She turned to Opie and both headed out.

Opie sent a wink. At first, Tara was a little confused by this, not understanding what the wink had been about. Then, it hit her that the wink hadn't been meant for her.

Jax's arm slipped over her shoulders. "How's your night going, darlin'?"

The nickname made her want to throw him a punch. She pushed him off her. "Fine, until you showed up." She made her way through the group of people, wanting to get away from the blond biker. She had never felt so easily angry at someone as she felt when he called her that, and she didn't know why.

"Where you going?" he asked as he trailed behind her.

She hated that he was here. Why _was_ he here? Didn't Donna say Jax was _never _allowed to leave work? And how the hell did he know she would be here, because something told her he came for her? It was a stupid question, though, she knew it. It was such a small town. Word spread easily.

"Tara?" he called out her name.

It made her almost stop walking. He never called her by her name and she couldn't help but feel her heart skip a bit at it. She tried to brush it away and continued making her way to the bathroom.

"I know I don't know much about you, but I'm pretty sure you ain't no doctor. What are you gonna do?" he asked.

At that moment, David appeared carrying a blonde, Rachel was right behind.

Rachel gave Tara a sympathetic look. "I'm sorry, Tara, but I have to take her. Her sister is a nurse. She can help. She can't go to the hospital; she doesn't have insurance."

Tara immediately wanted to help. "I'll go with you guys."

Rachel shook her head. "Not enough room. She drives a small truck. I'll be driving and Hale will be with us. Plus, the more people show up the more freaked out her sister is going to be."

"Come on, Rachel," called out David.

Rachel looked over at Jax just as Tara checked to see how the blonde in David's arms looked.

"Make sure she gets home alright, Jax," Rachel said to Jax.

Tara turned back to Rachel. "I can get home alright on my own." She doubted Jackson Teller at her side would make her feel protected.

"Take my car, you have my keys," said Rachel. "I'll pick it up tomorrow morning."

No. No one could come over to her house. "I can drive it over instead, no problem."

With a nod, Rachel left hurriedly.

Tara dug into her jeans, taking out Rachel's keys.

Jax came over to her side. "Want me to drive?" he asked with a side grin.

She hated his stupid smiles. "I can get home myself. I don't need a sitter." She began to walk out of the party.

"You're such a feminist," Jax uttered as he followed.

"Don't you have someone else to annoy?"

"You're my number one girl, darlin'."

She gave him a look. "I _hate_ when you call me that."

"Why?" He was closer to her now. "I call every girl that."

And that's why she hated it, but she wasn't about to reveal that to him.

She made her way down the dark street. Rachel had parked over a few blocks. Because her uncle was Chief of Police, Rachel had wanted to ensure her uncle wouldn't see her anywhere near a party with underage drinking involved. She took precautions.

Tara should have offered to drive her truck instead. Now she had to endure this annoying buzz in her ear for the next couple of blocks.

Jax brought his arm around her shoulders again. "Do you want me to call you something different than the rest? Are you jealous?"

Tara pushed him off. "Bite me. I couldn't care less what you call other girls, so as long as you stop calling _me _that."

"Would you like me to call you then?" His tone at all didn't have teasing in it.

She rolled her eyes. "My _name_, probably?"

"You honestly want me to call you Tetara? It's a god-awful name." This time, he was teasing.

She walked faster towards Rachel's truck. She was almost there.

"How 'bout I call you 'babe'?" he asked.

The word disgusted her. "That's worse! That word is completely degrading. At least 'darling' is _supposed _to be a term of endearment, although whenever you say it, it comes off almost derogatory. Calling a girl 'babe' just omits the cover-up of what you think about women."

"Well, if I mistreat the word 'darlin' then I'll mistreat the word 'babe'." He sent her a wink.

"What?" She didn't get what he was trying to say.

"The word is supposed to degrade women—as you say—but I'll mean the opposite when I call _you_ that," he explained.

Tara finally got to the truck. She wanted to send back a remark, but she was caught up in the sight in front of her. "Dammit."

The two black wheels of the truck were deflated. "Perfect," she said.

"It's a prank. Happens every party. That's probably why Rachel decided to park further out," Jax told her. "I'll head back to the shop after I drop you off. I'll have to use the tow truck."

This meant she would have more time with the bad ass biker. Great. Her night couldn't get much worse.

"Come on," he said as he tugged at her sleeve.

She obliged. She had no choice. She lived in the other side of town, it was dark, and she knew no one else other than the three people who had left the party. No one could give her a lift home.

"I didn't see your bike," Tara said, scanning through the dark streets.

"I parked it a block in the opposite direction," Jax explained.

As Tara walked next to him a very cool breeze swift through. It made her shiver.

Jax caught this and immediately took off his sweater.

Tara shook her head. "No, thank you. I'm fine."

"Come on, very rarely am I a gentleman. You should take advantage." He placed the sweater over her shoulders.

The odor of cigarettes and motor oil filled her nostrils. She hated to love that smell. She wanted to not think of the smell, so she figured a bit of conversation would help her take her mind off it. "So, I hear your boss is a real hard ass at work. How is it he let you leave for a bit?"

Jax shrugged. "He had a moment of weakness, I guess," he said as he sent her a smile.

He was lying to her, she could tell.

A few girls from across the street yelled out his name.

He turned, smiled at them, and waved. This made the girls giggle.

It was so disgusting. "Have you always had that effect on girls?"

"Since I can remember; yes."

She didn't have to see his face to know he was knowingly smiling. "It's so gross."

"Which part?" he asked.

"Everything. The constant calling out your name, the giggles, the eye bashing, the tossing of the hair, the over-showing of the cleavage, the groping—it's all pathetic." She turned over to another group of girls who were looking at Jax. She wanted to slap the stupidity of them.

He just snickered.

She turned to him with more disgust than ever before. "And how is it that you like that? Is that all you really want from a girl?"

"What do _you _care what I want in a girl?" he challenged. "I thought you didn't care much for me." He gave her a look she didn't very much like, as if he was seeing through her.

She looked away. "I don't."

They finally got to his bike.

He reached over and grabbed his helmet, handing it to her. "Safety first."

She placed it on. She couldn't believe she was going to be doing this.

Jax put both his legs in between the bike and put on his gloves. He motioned Tara over. "Climb on, babe."

She sent him a glare. She wasn't too sure about the new stupid name. She looked down at the empty space behind him. Would she be able to _fit _there?

He raised a questioning brow at her. "What's wrong?"

"I'm not sure how—"

"Sit as close as you can to me, with your legs around mine."

She did as she was told. She placed her inner thighs along Jax's outer ones. Heat once again burned all through her. She really didn't want to be this close to Jax Teller.

"Wrap your arms around me," he instructed as he placed his hands on the bars.

She placed her arms around his chest and interlocked her palms. Yup. Way too close. His smell was completely filling her now.

"Whatever you do, don't let go." He revved on the engine.

A jolt went through Tara when he did. It was a powerful feeling and the waves touched every cell in her body. She clutched tighter onto Jax.

And he took off, making Tara get startled a little. It felt so strange. Naked and vulnerable. Nothing was around her in case they were to get into an accident. She didn't understand motorcycles.

As Jax drove down the street, Tara noticed dozens of heads turning to them. She knew they must all be wondering the same thing. Jax Teller had finally bagged the new girl. She tried to push the thought out of her mind.

Jax made a turn and she grew a little scared, feeling she was going to fall over.

Jax must have sensed this and turned slightly to her. "I've been riding since I was 12. Can you just _trust _me?"

She really wanted to answer with a 'no'. But, she had a feeling it wouldn't go so well with him. She did, though, try to relax a bit.

They came to another street, a much darker one. Hardly any houses were on this street. Jax slowed down a bit due to a slanted street coming up. And as he did so, Tara heard it. Screaming.

She turned towards the voice. It was male and he was pleading out for help.

Jax turned to it too.

There were three tall, dark figures beating on a smaller figure in the ground. They were a block away. With all the darkness, Tara couldn't see much.

Jax pulled over to the side curb. He put his bike in park and gave her a stern look. "Stay here."

What was he doing? She thought as he rushed over towards the figures. Was he crazy?!

"Hey!" Jax pulled something from inside his jacket.

The three tall figures turned to him. "This doesn't concern you, redneck," said one of them.

Tara's worry began to escalate. They could hurt him! She got off the bike, not really knowing what else to do.

"You three better get the fuck outta here. It's your one and only warning," Jax said with an angry voice.

The three figures didn't take the warning and began to walk over to him.

Then, Jax put up what he had pulled out of his jacket. From where she was standing, it appeared to be a knife. A big knife. "I'm not gonna say it again. Because getting a warning from me is the best thing for you three right now. You don't leave, SAMCRO is going to be doing the next warning—a _final_ one."

This seemed to stop the three figures from getting closer.

"You Jax Teller?" asked one of the figures.

"Yeah," Jax informed. "So, you might wanna be going on your merry little way. Now."

The three figures all exchanged looks, but began to move away.

Tara caught it all. At knowing who he was, the three had grown frightened. Her suspicions of Jax Teller being dangerous might definitely be correct. However, she didn't seem more afraid of him than she had before.

The three figures got into a small car and drove off. Jax watched them leave.

Tara figured it was safe to head over to the figure on the ground. He was making some funny noises. When she got to him, she found blood all over him. "Oh, my god. Are you ok?"

Then, she got a better look at his face. He was so young. Probably a few years younger than her.

"Ah, shit," Jax said as he too came over to the boy. "Lowell, what the fuck did you do?" Jax reached over and seemed to be examining the bruises with a pained face.

Tara saw his worry. He cared for this kid and the only reason why he had sounded so threatening or angry just a minute ago was because of what the three figures had done to this poor boy.

The boy, Lowell, whimpered. "Sorry, Jax."

Jax shook his head. "It's alright. Can you move?"

The boy nodded. "Yeah. They mainly hit my back and legs. And face."

Tara could see that. His entire face was bleeding. "Does anything feel broken?"

The boy shook his head.

"Alright, we're gonna have to take you to the hospital," Tara said as she leaned over and was ready to help him get up to his feet.

The boy grew frightened at this. "No! You can't!"

"You're badly injured, Lowell," Tara tried to rationalize. "You need medical help."

Jax looked around the neighborhood. "Tig lives just lives a couple of houses over. You can stay at his place while I go get Chibs."

Lowell nodded. "Yeah, please. I can't go to the hospital. They'll know."

Jax nodded. "Yeah. I know. Lets get you up though." He turned over to Tara. "Help me?"

She grabbed one of Lowell's arms and pulled it over her shoulder. "Where does this Tig live?"

Jax pointed over to the house with the most junk in the yard. It wasn't that far away.

They got there in a short while. Jax went under the mat on the front door and pulled out a key.

"How original," Tara said sarcastically. It would be easy for a burglar to come in and steal from this Tig.

Jax snickered. "That's Tig. The brains of the Club."

They got into the house, were able to get through the mess on the ground, and laid Lowell onto the messy couch.

Jax went over to the kitchen. "I'm gonna try to reach Chibs." He got to the phone and pressed some numbers.

Tara looked around for a clean rag. She managed to find a t-shirt that looked pretty clean. She went over to find a bathroom, bumping into more mess doing so. She took a plastic bowl from the shower, cleaned it, and filled it with water. She got back to the living room as she heard Jax talking in the kitchen.

"I'm not sure. Probably crank or heroin. One never knows with Lowell." Jax saw Tara coming and began to talk lower on the phone.

Tara made her way over to Lowell. She sat by him and started cleaning him up. Some of the bruises stung him. She tried to be gentle. "What happened, Lowell?"

Lowell shook his head. "Stupid shit. Same shit."

Tara noticed some of the bruises he had on him weren't from the pounds he had just gotten. Drugs. That's why he hadn't wanted to go to the hospital. He was a young teenage junky. Tara didn't say anything, but kept cleaning up his face and arms.

Jax finally came back. "Chibs is on his way. I'll take you home now."

"We can wait for Chibs," Tara offered. She looked at the poor kid. She didn't want to leave him alone.

Jax shook his head. "He'll be fine. It won't take long for Chibs to get here. Plus, Clay wants me back at the shop."

"I can wait by myself," Tara insisted.

A look came over Jax, the same one that she had seen on him when he told her to stay with the bike. "I don't want you alone."

Tara felt there was no sense in arguing. She looked back to the kid on the couch.

"He'll be fine," Jax assured her.

Tara leaned over to the kid and placed a hand over his. "I hope you get better, Lowell."

He gave her a nod and bloody smile. "I didn't catch your name."

Tara smiled back at him. "Tara."

"Oh, right. The new girl." He looked over at Jax. "Thanks, Jax."

"Don't mention it, man." Jax got to the door and opened it.

Tara waved goodbye as she made her way over to Jax.

"Thanks, Tara," the kid said.

As the two made their way to the bike, Tara could tell Jax was having a lot of thoughts in his head he really didn't want to say out loud. She had questions though. "Were those dealers?"

Jax turned to Tara, looking a bit shocked.

"I saw his bruises—tracks," she explained.

He didn't say anything.

"Is there a lot of that in Charming? Drugs?"

Jax shook his head. "No drugs come into Charming. The few that do get handled."

"By who?" she asked curiously.

They got to the bike. Jax grabbed the helmet and gave it to her. "I'm gonna be late. Come on."

Tara let out a sigh. This guy really didn't want to share with her something. She decided to not push it and took his helmet. She wrapped her arms around him, this time already knowing how tightly she needed to hold onto.

He revved on the engine once again and the shocks still gave her the same feeling.

As he rode down the dark streets, Tara felt comfortable. She had seen a different side of Jax. One to stand up to those in need and not afraid to take on three guys by himself.

Jax Teller seemed to be a guy made of many layers.

/

~JAX~

He came up to her street, her arms still wrapped securely around him. He liked the feeling. Her touch wasn't like the other girls he put behind there. Their hands were all over him, not that he minded. He actually loved it when they would give him a hand job as he rode the Harley. He loved the feeling of being desired. But the soft touch Tara carried was very different and he liked it just as much.

He came to the front of her house and parked.

She grew stiff as she turned to her house.

Jax had noticed no one other than her would come in and out of the house. He knew she at least had a father. She had mentioned he was the one that picked her up from school sometimes. Jax never got a good look at the man, though. Just saw the back of his head. He didn't think she had any siblings or where her mom was. Jax wasn't completely sure she lived in town. Her parents were probably divorced—a good reason as to why Tara didn't trust guys.

He noticed she wasn't getting off. He asked the question out loud instead of thinking it silently. "Should I be worried?"

She grew more stiff. "Huh?"

He thought maybe seeing those three guys jump Lowell must have frightened her. She seemed to be concerned of the drugs. He would hate for her to think Charming was not a dangerous place. And he knew it didn't help any when he had pulled out his dad's old Ka-Bar knife. It must have scared her.

"You sure you alright?" He didn't want to leave her if she looked like scared.

She nodded, taking in a deep breath. "I'm ok."

She didn't look ok and he wanted her to be. "It's not like that in Charming. No drugs come in. Those guys were outsiders." He had given all the information to Bobby over the phone while he was in Tig's house. Bobby had said he and Tig would go after the dealers and Chibs (a transfer from SAMBEL who Jax had just met a month ago) would be on his way to Tig's house with another member. They were gonna handle it. Jax really wanted to be in the action, but wasn't able to. He wasn't SAMCRO yet. He could only be an informant.

Tara gave another nod. With a sigh, she got off the bike and took off the helmet. She handed him it. "Thanks for the ride."

"Sorry for the way the night turned out," he really meant it.

She gave him a smile. He didn't think she'd ever done that for him. He had seen her smile before, but it was never directly at him. "It's ok. Later." She turned and slowly walked over to her front door.

Right before entering, she waved to him.

It was the first time she didn't end up snapping at him or looked at him with a disgusting or annoyed look. He couldn't help but like it.

He had to get back to TM before Clay had his head. But before getting to the clubhouse, he needed to make one last visit. It didn't take him to get there. As he was coming down the street, he saw a redhead sitting in front of a lawn smoking a cigarette.

He pulled up beside her. "Where's Hale?"

"He left a little while back," Rachel informed as she let out a puff.

Jax smiled at her. "You didn't do anything bad to Candy did you?"

Rachel never told him what the plan for tonight was going to be. But everything that went perfectly wrong tonight _had_ to be her doing.

Rachel shook her head. "Nah. She was faking it. She owed me one, so…."

A thought crossed Jax's filthy mind. "What does she owe you for?"

Rachel sent him a wink. She took one more puff and dropped her cigarette. "Take me home."

Jax nodded. He knew she wasn't going to give up details. "Yes, ma'am."

She climbed up behind him. "You're gonna get those tires fixed for free, you know that right?"

Jax had a feeling. "Thanks, Rachel."

She shrugged. "Any time."

He did have a feeling that because of this night, things would be changing.

* * *

**AN**: The special guests on here were Hale (of course), Candy (who is one of the lady cops that helped Jax get into the locked cell Unser was in during season 1), and Lowell Harland, Jr. (who also appeared in season 1).

**DATE**: 1/13/13


	4. Broken

**CHAPTER ****3**: "Broken" by Lifehouse

**SUMMARY**: The biker and the new girl spend a day together…

**NOTE: **This wasn't as long as I was worried it would be. About the same as the last chapter. Yay!

**DISCLAIMER**: Damn Kurt Sutter owns everything. I wanna be his daughter so I can inherit everything!

**TIME PERIOD**: September '94

* * *

~TARA~

Dammit, she was running late. She checked the clock as she tied her shoes and noticed there were only fifteen minutes until 8.

She had been working on her first paper for one of her college courses last night and had lost track of time. The paper wasn't due until next week, but she wanted to get it done as soon as possible. She didn't think it would take her so long to finish it. She should have put a timer on. Now, she was facing the consequences.

She would have to run over to school if she was going to make it before the first bell could ring. She made her way through the mess her father created last night in the kitchen to find something to eat for breakfast. She hadn't gone grocery shopping this last weekend because her father had forgotten to given it to her. She hadn't wanted to ask him either. It had been a bad weekend for him. She knew why, but didn't want to think about it. She might turn into a drunk herself if she allowed her emotions to beat the best of her.

She found a couple of bananas and stuffed one of them in her backpack. She'd have to do without coffee, although she really craved it. She put her hair up in a ponytail as she walked out the door, the banana half-way peeled and stuffed into her mouth.

As she locked and closed the door, the noise of a firing engine startled her. She turned over to the sidewalk and found none other than Jax Teller smiling at her while sitting on his bike.

She never knew how he did that. How he managed to stroll down her street, just as she was leaving for school. And she was inconsistent as well, mainly because of him. She wanted to avoid being alone with him. She didn't mind so much his teasing during class or talking to him in the hallways between classes. Other people were around, so it felt safe. But with no other people around, she was afraid of what might happen. She didn't physically fear him anymore, just feared what she might do alone with him.

"Runnin' late?" he asked her.

She made her way over to him. "A bit."

"Wild night, I take it." He gave her a teasing smile.

She sent him a look. "Paper. For my Bio class." She took another bite off of her banana.

He grabbed his helmet and handed it over to her. "Always the good student."

She looked at the helmet, not sure she wanted to get in that bike with him. She hadn't ridden on it since that night a few weeks ago. Every time he came over to her in the morning, she refused to get a ride from him and would walk to school. He stayed in his bike the entire fifteen minutes, making circles along the streets and talking to her that way.

"You would rather be late than take a ride with me?" he asked her seriously, but with a half-smile. "I knew you hated me, but I didn't think that much."

Tara answered him immediately, with no hesitation, "I don't hate you."

His smile turned sweet. "You don't?" He held her eyes with his.

She broke away from his stare. "I don't particularly like you, either."

He laughed. "Glad to know." He handed her the helmet one more time.

She stared at it for a moment and decided to cave. She grabbed it and began to put it on. She stuffed the rest of her banana onto her lunch bag she had left in her backpack yesterday, then secured her backpack on her shoulders.

He took his bike out of parking.

She wrapped her right leg around the other end of the bike and scooted as close as she could to him.

"Hold on tight, babe."

He didn't call her that very often, but whenever he did it was when they were alone. She couldn't help but feel butterflies in her stomach every time he did so.

Jax took off, making her shiver in different kind of ways.

They got to the school in about three minutes due to Jax speeding. Tara had to keep her eyes closed most of the time.

When they pulled into the student parking lot, Tara could hear all the voices. This was another reason why she refused to get a ride from Jax every morning. She knew it would turn to town gossip.

Jax didn't pay them no mind as he drove over to a parked bike—Opie's. He parked his bike with ease. "Bam!" He turned off the engine and began to take off his gloves.

Tara tried to avoid the stares and whispers occurring around her. She climbed off and took off the helmet. "Thanks," she said quickly and handed Jax his helmet. "I'll see you later." With that, she hurried over towards class.

"Hey!" Jax ran over to her. "What's the hurry? We still got ten minutes before the first bell rings." He brought his arm around her shoulders.

She brushed him off and continued walking fast. She noticed this confused him.

In the earlier weeks, whenever he would try to put his arm around her, she would duck him. However, in the recent weeks, she felt comfortable in letting him wrap his arm around her shoulders and allowed it to linger there for a little while. His comments weren't making her feel as uncomfortable as they used to—he would filter himself a lot around her. She was getting more relaxed with him every day. But, she knew how everything looked to everyone in school right now.

"What's the matter?" He looked worried.

She caught him giving her that look every once in a while, usually whenever they were in her neighborhood. She hated going home; it always made her nervous because she wasn't sure what she would find once she entered that living room. When would the day come where her father would drink himself to death? Then, what would she do?

Every day, as she made her way home, the same questions popped up—different scenarios of what her life would be once she was completely on her own. None of them held any bright light, because in them she was always alone. As she thought these thoughts, she would notice Jax staring at her, not saying anything. At first, it looked to be as if he was simply looking at her, then he looked to be observing her, but lately there was a new kind of emotion in his face during these walks. It was a look of worry.

She shook her head. "Nothing. I just really have to get to class."

"Alright." He didn't look convinced. "Catch you later."

She nodded and waved him goodbye.

She tried to avoid the death stares she was getting from almost every girl in the halls. She kept her head down the entire time.

She felt an arm come around her. This was smaller and less warm than Jax's. In the course of the last month, Tara believed she got to know very well how Jax's left arm felt around her shoulders.

"Was that your set of brown hair I saw behind Jax driving up to school a little bit ago?" asked Rachel with a wide smile on her face.

Tara didn't want to answer.

"You little _minx_, you." Rachel bumped her hip against Tara's teasingly. "I thought you didn't want to turn into one of—and I quote—Jax Teller's sick love puppies." She let out a laugh. "What changed your mind?"

Tara shook her head. "It wasn't like that. I was running late and he offered me a lift. That's all."

"Uh-huh."

"Believe me, I'm not one of those girls. I know the kind of guy Jax Teller is," she defended herself.

"I don't think you do," Rachel argued. She looked over at the girls in the hall that were throwing Tara glares. "I doubt anyone knows who the real Jax Teller is."

Tara brought herself to look up for a little bit. If looks could kill or turn someone to stone, she would be either of those things right now. "They would argue, I'm sure."

"Cuz they're idiots."

She felt the anger and hatred these girls had for her. Every day she felt it getting stronger as well. "I'm not sure why they hate me so much. There are more than a dozen girls in this school who have ridden in that bike with him this school year alone. And it's only the middle of September. Why not focus that energy on someone else?"

They came to Tara's first class period. Rachel turned to Tara. "You're not actually serious, are you?"

Tara frowned at this.

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Good god, girl, you're blind." She shook her head and looked at Tara in the eyes. "He _likes_ you, Tara. Every girl in this school has noticed this by now. The first week, not many worried too much about it. You ignored him and seemed scared of him—they thought: hey, she's a weirdo, but it's nothing to be concerned about. Week Two, when you two strolled in together _talking_ made them feel a little weird. For one thing, Jax Teller doesn't _talk_—much less to a girl. And for another thing, they saw you wearing eye shadow and lipstick. That entire first week, the most make up on your face was mascara. Week Three, a _lot _of alarm bells went off. You two started having _lunch_ together."

Tara shook her head. "We were studying for History! We're _assigned _partners."

"You two didn't start studying until that Thursday. You hung out for lunch every day that week."

"That was all five of us—you, me, Donna, Opie, and Jax. And those first two days, it was the three of us and it was Jax and Opie who came over to us."

"Precisely! _He_ came to _you_—_again_!"

Tara still continued to shake her head. Rachel was wrong. More than wrong.

Rachel was still making her argument, though. "Week Four, which was last week, anger began to boil. He started wrapping his arm around you and you didn't pull back. He seeks you out every time between periods—and I hope you know that all of his classes are always in the opposite side of this campus. Now, Day Five of Week Five—September 23, 1994, marks the day where every hope these pathetic broads had has been crushed."

Tara frowned.

"He drove you to school."

Tara waited for Rachel to say more, but she didn't. "And?"

Rachel looked more confused than Tara felt at the moment. Rachel looked at her in disbelief. "He. Drove. You. To. School."

"I _know_ that, I was there." Her friend was talking in circles.

Rachel shook her head. "You really are self-absorbed, aren't you? You don't see a pattern here, do you?" She looked at Tara one last time before continuing on. "Jax doesn't give _anyone_ a lift to school. He'll ride out with a girl on him, but he has never entered with one. It's his way of saying he can leave with whoever he wants, but in the truth of it all, he's really a loner. And that's how he liked it. Now, things are topsy-turvy. Last semester, he hardly even _came _to school. I was pretty sure this year was going to be the same. But now? He makes it here almost every day—and on _time_. _Why_ do you think that is?"

Tara didn't want to see it that way. She didn't want it to be true, because if it was true that Jax's feelings were strong when it came to her, then she might end up in the same place she landed in months ago. She couldn't have it. She couldn't go through with it again. "We're just friends, Rachel. Maybe all of this change he's making has to do with a _friendship_ we're creating—nothing more."

Rachel considered this. "Maybe you're right. Maybe you two really are becoming friends. But that only complicates things."

"How so?" Tara wondered.

"It's one thing for Jax to like you and be interested in you. It's a whole other thing for the two of you to be friends and he's into to you. It'll only lead to even _deeper_ feelings," Rachel said.

Before Tara could question what this meant, the first bell rang.

Rachel waved a goodbye and left.

The bell rang.

/

~JAX~

As soon as the bell rang, he was out of his second period. He hurried over to his next class, which was the only one he had that he liked.

There were plenty of reasons to like his third period. His teacher, Mr. Abel, was pretty cool. He was kind of a hard ass and very blunt. He didn't fake a nice attitude as some of the other teachers. Every now and again he would let out a cuss word. Cursing always made Jax like the person more. He also didn't ignore Jax—which was another trait most other teachers carried. Mr. Abel looked at Jax straight in the eye and ask him questions. Whatever Jax's response was, he would roll out a conversation. Mr. Abel would never tell a student they were wrong, instead, he took the answer a student would give him and turn it into a class discussion. It took Jax a while to be involved in the discussions, but the more he would do it, the better he became at it.

The other reason was the brunette that sat in front of him. Over the last month, he was getting to know more of Tara Knowles. He still didn't know much about her personal life, but he learned she tapped her foot a lot when writing notes. He knew she spent most of her day frowning, as if she was deep in thought. He learned she bit her finger nails whenever doing a test. He knew she never slouched; her back was always straight whenever she either walked or sat down. He knew the feel of her shoulders: soft but sturdy. They were able to handle the weight of his arm very nicely. He knew when he stared long enough at her she felt it and grew uneasy. He knew every time he teased her, the first thing to flush with embarrassment was her neck. He knew she hated to be late, made her nervous. He knew she hated talking about herself. And he knew she hated being in that household of hers.

Tara never spoke about it, but the signs were all there. The fact that she was usually the first one in school and that after her classes were over (except for Tuesdays and Thursdays), she would go over to Yoyo's and studied there until 6PM. She would then go over to Georgette's Café, buy a coffee, and head over to the park for a bit. She sat on a bench watching children play and run around, a book in her hand. It was one of the few times Jax noticed a sincere smile spread across her face, when she would look up every now and then and see those children. Then, at precisely 8PM, she would pack up and head over to her house. She would get home at 8:15 and within 15 minutes afterwards, all lights were turned off.

Jax knew all of this because there were a handle of times when he followed her, interested in knowing what it was she did after school. After the fifth time doing it, he only followed her after 8PM, when she walked home. Although he believed Charming was a safe place and the Mayans didn't come around as often as they did a couple of years ago, he still thought it was better safe than sorry.

He never saw her dad, except on Tuesdays and Thursdays when he would pick her up to take her to Stockton. And even then, Jax would only see the back of her father's head. She never spoke of him. Never spoke of her mother either. And he didn't know what to make of it.

A tap on the arm brought him out of his thoughts.

He looked up and noticed Tara giving him a disapproving look as she waved what appeared to be a handout. "Wake up."

He took it and gave her a look. "Thanks." He looked down at the handout and saw it was a study guide.

Mr. Abel was giving instructions on the study guide at the moment.

Jax frowned at the paper, feeling crushed. "The first essay already?"

He didn't realize he had asked the question so loud, it was only meant for Tara to hear. "Glad you could join us in class, Mr. Teller. See, between the hours of 8 to 3, you are inside this place called a school," Mr. Abel said as he made his way over to Jax. "Inside the school there are classrooms, where learning takes place. And in order for learning to take place, the children have to _listen _to what the adult is saying. _All_ of what the adult is saying; not just bits and pieces here and there."

Everyone in class gave small giggles. They all knew Mr. Abel was just teasing Jax.

Jax couldn't help smiling. He looked up at his favorite teacher. "Sorry, Mr. Abel. My mind was somewhere else. Won't happen again."

"I can only imagine where your mind was, Mr. Teller," Mr. Abel said as he quickly looked over at Tara. No one besides Jax saw. "Keep listening and then you'll find out the _date_ of this first paper." He gave Jax a slap on the back and walked over to the front of the class again. "So, as I was saying—"

The bell rang at that precise moment. Students began to scatter.

Mr. Abel lifted his arms in disbelief. "I need to file a petition to make class longer. Alright, children. I'll see you Monday, we'll continue discussing the essay then. Have a great weekend."

Jax began to pack up his stuff.

Hale and Tara were currently talking about possibly getting together later during the weekend to study. Once Jax heard this, he came up to Tara's side.

"Sounds good," Tara told Hale. "I'm free any time."

Hale nodded. "Perfect. I have church, but I'm free after 12. I'll give you a call."

Of course Hale would be going to church. "Don't tell me you're an altar boy, Hale. Don't you hear the stories?"

Hale sent him a dirty look, but then turned back to Tara. "I'll call you later."

Tara nodded and waved at Hale as he left.

Something made Jax's blood boil. He knew what Hale was really after and it made Jax want to sock him in the face for it. Everything he did, made Jax want to sock him, really. Tara seemed to like Hale just fine though. The two didn't hang out outside of class, but Jax could see Hale really wanted to.

"You and Hale having some sort of date?" Jax asked with a bit too much annoyance at the thought of Tara and Hale going out on a date.

Tara's brows knit together. "What? No. We're studying this Sunday."

"We don't have anything due for class next week." Jax knew this because unlike his other classes, he paid attention to the due dates in History. "Besides, _we're _partners. It was assigned at the beginning of the semester," he said defensively.

Tara looked a bit annoyed. "We're studying for _Econ_."

Jax didn't fall for it. "You two don't have Econ together." He knew Tara's schedule. First class was AP English, then AP Stats, then History with him, and finally Econ. On Tuesdays and Thursdays she had her Bio and Anthropology courses from 1:30PM to 5PM. He knew Hale had PE for fourth period because he had seen Hale several times rushing over to the gym right after History. So, why would Tara and Hale be studying for Econ if they didn't have the class together?

"Yeah, but we have the same Econ _teacher_. David works on Saturdays, so that's why we decided on Sunday," she explained. Then, she added with an attitude, "And unfortunately, I'm _aware _we're study partners for this class. I can't really change that. Trust me, I've tried." She began to head out of class.

Jax followed her, smiling at her sudden anger. "Why are you pissed?" He rarely saw her like this. It was nice seeing the different shades she had.

Tara was walking with an extra boost in her step. It was the anger. "Why am _I _pissed? You're the one that started it with your jerky attitude."

"I didn't have an attitude."

"Yes, you did. And the way you talk to David is so…_foul_."

She was defending Hale. Great. He started to feel just as angry as Tara looked. "Yes, poor Captain America getting bullied by the bad biker."

Tara gave him look of disbelief. "You know, as much as I know you hate being judged by others, you sure do the exact same thing to other people."

"What?" He didn't get it.

"You judge David for being a _straight arrow_—as you say. You poke fun of him for his manners and high morals. Doesn't that make you a hypocrite? You're judging _him_. Not to mention, here you are talking to _me_." She didn't seem to notice she had stopped in the middle of the hallway and was saying all of this.

Jax didn't notice the dozens of people looking at them either. "What does that have to do with anything?"

She had another emotion going through her right now other than anger, Jax could tell, but he wasn't sure what it was. "Aside from the physicality, how different am I from David?"

Was she serious with that question? "Plenty!" He argued. "Hale's a douche."

"How?!"

"He can't seem to get his head out of his ass! He thinks the world is completely black and white. He makes judgments on people before getting to know them. One look at me and he believed he knew who I was: some angry biker who starts up trouble everywhere he goes."

She looked down as he saw the anger fade with that other emotion taking over her features. "I can only imagine what you must think of _me_," she said in a small voice.

Jax knew what that other feeling was now. Hurt. She too had made the same judgment calls on him, he was sure. But he knew that in the last few weeks, her mind had changed about him. She thought he saw her as someone less than. It was far from the truth. "You're _nothing_ like Hale," he said with complete honesty.

"How am I different?" she asked. She didn't look at all convinced.

Because it's who he was, he couldn't miss an opportunity to not turn something into a joke. He looked her up and down with a smile across his face, giving her a clear message. His eyes lingered for a little longer on her chest.

And she reacted in a way she never had before. Her hurt was completely gone and the anger had come back. She reached over and slapped him hard in the arm. "I said _aside _from physical, you jerk!" She hit his other arm and left to class.

It hit the both of them right then. Everyone had seen the show. He saw everyone's face was in shock. He knew why. Jax Teller never got into arguments that didn't end in two bodies on the ground, wrestling. Also, never had he had argument with a girl—much less had a girl hit him. Then there was the fact that up until then Tara was a soft spoken person. She never appeared angry at anyone.

Tara turned completely red with embarrassment and left running towards her next class.

Jax avoided the looks from the others and left the building.

He didn't go to his next class. He needed a smoke to clear his head. He went behind the gym; it was always his go-to place.

This shit with Tara was really starting to confuse the fuck out of him. At first, his interest in her had been solely for the challenge, but as he got to know her a little more, it was turning into something else. He had to admit it. Seeing her emotions get hurt and knowing he was slightly the cause of it made him want to comfort her. Other than Donna, who was like a sister to him, no other girl evoked that emotion out of him. He cared for Tara. And he felt she was feeling the same as well. Why else would she have gotten so upset over the whole Hale thing? Whether _she _was willing to admit it or not, she cared what he thought about her.

And did he care simply because they were now friends? Or was it something else?

As he thought of all these things, he missed his fourth period as well. He decided he should just head home instead. Pretty soon this building was going to have couples trying to hide. He put out his smoke and began to make his way out to the parking lot, ignoring the looks.

Yup, this was going to be a topic of conversation for the next few weeks, Jax thought.

When he got to his bike, he noticed a few girls making their way over to him. He let out an inner grown. He really didn't wanna do this shit now.

And just as he had the thought, he felt a body sit on the backseat.

His redhead friend gave the upcoming blondes a smiley death stare. "He's busy."

The girls seemed to take the message and turned the other way. Most girls would in this school. Rachel Unser scared the shit out of them. She probably had baggage on every one of them. Jax always felt the desire to ask, but he knew better.

He turned over to his friend. "What's up, Rachel?"

Rachel got out of his seat and walked around to face him. "Donna and I plan on going up to Mokelumne first thing tomorrow."

"The _ghost_ town?" asked Jax. The city didn't have much residence, just a few houses in random spots of the land. He wondered why Donna and Rachel would want to go to a place like that.

Rachel nodded. "Yeah. We wanna spend the entire day there. They have real nice trails and places we can have a picnic in even. It'll be the last opportunity in a while since the rainy season is gonna start."

Jax didn't know why she was giving him this information. "Ok?"

Rachel tilted her head in an innocent way. "We invited Tara to go with us. She likes the outdoors apparently. The three of us will be leaving at 8AM tomorrow."

Jax considered this and smiled at his friend. "Does Tara know you're inviting me as well?"

Rachel gave a fake look of shock. "Who said I was inviting you? I'm just giving you information. Having conversation with an old friend. But, it might be a good thing if you showed up, just in case anything was to not go according to plan."

Jax cocked his eyebrow at her. "What if I'm busy?"

Rachel gave him a look of disbelief. "From what I hear something happened up in Tacoma. Most of the Sons—including the president—are going up there for the next few days. You and Ope are free little slaves this weekend."

Smart girl. He wondered how much she snooped on her uncle to know all of this information. "What do you have in mind?"

"My uncle Unser's son lives in Lodi. It's nice to have someone be so close by just in case anything were to happen to my car…_again_. I'd have a place to stay for the night since I would have to wait the next morning to get my car fixed. Donna and Tara, though? I love my cousin and I'm pretty sure he'd do nothing to me. But he's 20 and a real perve. The brunettes would need to have a ride back home. And it'll be a long, nice 25 minute drive." Then, with a wink, she left.

Jax shook his head. He put on his gloves, turned on his bike, and rode out.

He didn't notice it, but it was the first time since he had his bike that he rode out of school without a blonde riding behind him.

/

~TARA~

Tara grabbed her water bottle out of the freezer and put it in her backpack. She checked her inventory again. She had the sandwiches, the snacks, the utensils, and the water. Was there anything she was missing? Oh, her clothes. She ran over to her room to grab an extra pair of clothes. She always liked to think ahead.

As she put some clothing into her bag, she heard a heavy grunt behind her. She turned and found her father leaning on her door frame. He looked like shit—which wasn't new. But he being up on a Saturday morning before noon was something new.

She got a bit worried. "What's wrong?"

Her father stared at her bag. "You going someplace?"

She gave a nod. "Yeah. I should be back before 8 tonight."

He grunted. "Where you going?"

"On a hike, with two girlfriends."

He nodded. "You made friends?"

She nodded.

"Good." He gave her a drunken smile. "You should invite them over to dinner. I'd—I'd like to get to know them."

Her heart pounded. "No, that's—that's ok. They both work. It was a miracle they were able to do something today."

A color of pain was painted all over his face. "That's too bad." He stood there for a moment and looked at her.

She got a bit uncomfortable and looked down.

"You look just like her, you know?" he said with hurt coming out of every word.

She had seen pictures of her mother and she knew he was wrong. Her mother had been beautiful. A goddess even. She looked nothing like her.

A period of silence stayed between her and her father. It was her father that broke it. "There's a few twenties in the kitchen counter. Take some."

Tara shook her head. "No, I'm ok. I really don't need money. Like I said, we're just going on a hike."

Her father gave her a nod. And with not another word said, he left stumbling back to his room.

Tara tried to control the anguished emotions inside of her. She preferred him passed out, because hearing him talk made it so much more difficult.

A honk came from the outside and brought Tara out of her thoughts. She grabbed her bag and two books that were sitting on her dresser, then headed out of the house. She hadn't wanted her friends to pick her up from her house. She had done everything in her power to avoid it, but Rachel had insisted. Donna stayed the night over at Rachel's because they were going to study for their Spanish test that was happening on Monday. Tara had offered to meet them there, but even she knew it didn't make sense. Rachel lived at the edge of town. Plus, because she would be gone for almost the entire day, she couldn't take her father's truck. Her father might want to use it—although she doubted it.

Donna looked out from the passenger window. "Got everything?"

Tara hurried over to her friends. "Yeah." She got inside the car.

Rachel began to drive out. "It's gonna be such a great day."

The three enjoyed the scenery the way there. Mokelumne was an old ghost town, with almost no residence. But from what Tara heard, there was a real nice hike trail and beautiful scenery. She loved the outdoors, so when Rachel and Donna invited her to tag alone, Tara immediately had said yes.

About twenty minutes later they came along some hills. There was no road, but Rachel kept driving.

"How do you know about these trails, Rachel?" asked Tara.

"My uncle brings us out here every now and again. He first used to bring my cousins, then they moved out. Now, he just brings me and my aunt," Rachel said as she kept her eyes on the road.

"What do you do out here? Just hike?" asked Donna as she looked out her window at the small mountains.

"Naw. I go on them alone. My aunt stays behind, reading. And Uncle Wayne shoots shit up." Rachel came to an empty space and parked her car. "Ready?"

They all got their stuff and got out of the car. Rachel led the way.

They came across plenty of small critters. Rachel and Donna were much too girlish to touch them or get too near them for that matter. Tara didn't mind. She got close and grabbed a few of the insects, teasing her friends with them.

After about thirty minutes of walking, Rachel made them stop. She said she wanted to take a few pictures. She took out her camera and for a good twenty minutes, as Donna and Tara talked, Rachel was climbing every tree to take as many pictures as possible.

Tara frowned at Rachel. "Are you planning on being a photographer in the near future?"

Rachel smiled down at Tara. "That would be cool. Don't _you_ like taking pictures?"

"Not really." At all. Pictures captured memories. Happy ones. They captured moments that could never be relived. Tara honestly couldn't stand them. She didn't have very many and she certainly didn't take them herself.

"Why not?" asked Donna.

Before Tara could give a response, they heard a noise.

All three girls turned towards it, a little frightened.

Tara turned to Rachel. "I thought you said no one came here."

Rachel quickly climbed off of the tree she was on. She went to her bag quickly and put her camera inside, and took something out. A gun.

Tara was taken aback. She had never seen a gun so up close and personal.

The noise was getting closer.

Rachel cocked the gun and pointed it straight ahead.

Donna stepped back a little, coming closer to Tara. She took her hand.

Two tall figures then emerged. As Rachel took a few steps forward, Donna and Tara took a few steps back.

Then, Rachel let out a sigh. She put her gun back on safety and lowered the gun. She turned to her two friends. "It's just a couple of harmless idiots."

"Who—" Tara began to ask.

Then, the two figures came to full view. Both were tall and were wearing all black. Tara knew of only two people that dressed that way.

Donna pushed passed her and ran over to Opie.

He caught her in a hug. "Hey, baby."

Donna held on to him tight. "What are you doing here? Why aren't you at work?"

"Clay got a call and left town. We're free for the entire day," he explained as he brought her down to the ground.

Jax made his way over. "We figured we needed some fresh air. You know, get a day away from Charming."

"How did you two know we were here?" Tara asked as her eyes glued to the blonde standing behind Opie.

It was Opie who quickly answered. "Donna told me she was coming down here yesterday. I didn't really like the idea; don't think it's too safe here for you three girls. Good thing Clay left late last night. Gave me the perfect excuse to come. I dragged Jax with me."

Tara highly doubted it. Jax gave her an innocent smile. "I bet."

"Well, the more the merrier," said Rachel and went back to getting her bag. "Should we continue?"

She led the way as Donna and Opie trailed behind her.

It didn't take long for Donna and Opie to get all lovey dovey and start whispering things to each other.

Tara followed and did her best to ignore Jax. However, she wasn't stupid. She knew it wasn't going to last long, but she was going to avoid it as much as she could.

"Still mad?" Jax was right at her side.

It lasted five seconds. Tara didn't want to look at him though. "Depends. Are you still an ass?"

He laughed at this. "I take that as a yes."

She shook her head. She knew he wasn't going to apologize for his stupidity. "What are you doing here, Jax?"

"What do you mean? I came through no will of my own. Did you not hear? I was dragged," Jax said innocently.

Tara saw Opie turn and give some sort of look to Jax.

"I'm the victim here," Jax continued. "I—" He slipped, almost coming to his knees.

It was purely instinct. Tara reached out and grabbed his arm to try to steady him.

"These rocks are dangerous," Jax said as he looked down at the rock that almost gave him a bruise.

Tara looked down as well and saw the true thing that was dangerous. "With those kinds of shoes, you're bound to end up with a twisted ankle."

"They're the only shoes I have," Jax defended himself.

"Well then you shouldn't have come. You continue walking on these and you're going to do some serious damage."

Rachel came to them. "What's the hold up? We have two more miles to go."

Tara shook her head. "I don't think Jax should continue on. He has the wrong shoes for this."

Rachel looked down at Jax's feet, then turned to Opie. "Opie's wearing boots. I'm more than sure Jax wearing these are a lot safer than what Opie is wearing. They'll be fine."

"We actually are thinking of stopping over at that upcoming empty area," said Donna as she pointed towards an area some yards away that had s small clearing. "We're thinking it's perfect for a picnic." She looked apologetically at her two friends. "You won't mind, will you?"

Tara let out a groan. Great. She was going to be left with only Rachel and Jax. Perfect.

"You two can do whatever you want, but _I'm _going to finish this hike. I brought my camera and everything," said Rachel as she continued walking.

Tara stared after Rachel, not knowing what to do.

"You're not gonna leave me alone with these two are you?" Jax asked in disbelief as he pointed towards his two friends. "You know how they get."

And Tara knew very well. At first, Opie and Donna were pretty calm around one another, but after a while one needed to be at least a hundred yards away to feel comfortable.

"Tara can stay, but I'm leaving," Rachel said as she continued walking.

"Rachel!" Tara called out, not sure if she should follow.

"Stay with the biker. I don't care!" She meant it too.

"Well, what if the guys are right and it's dangerous out there?" asked Donna in a bit of a worry. She clearly didn't want their friend to be by herself.

Rachel gave them a smile. "You two have guys with plenty of guns; I have one of my own," she said as she motioned towards her bag. "Later!" She went up the hike.

"If you don't come back in two hours, we're gonna come after you!" Tara called out.

Rachel simply waved.

Tara turned back to see Donna and Opie starting to make out.

"I don't think they're gonna make it to that empty field," Jax said as he grabbed Tara's hand and led her away.

She willingly followed Jax.

/

~JAX~

The two of them were sitting alone by the river. They were each leaning against a tree and were turned towards each other. The trees were only separated by a couple of yards, so the two weren't separated by much.

They had managed to forget what had occurred yesterday at school and were falling into their routine of talking normally. Only this time, it was very different. They were alone.

At first, they didn't seem to know what to talk about, but picked up after a while. They had the whole day to spend together. Other than talking, what else could they do?

"So, how long have Donna and Opie been together?" she asked.

Jax shook his head. "Since I can remember. I got to know Donna in the third or fourth grade. I forget. She's a year older than me—same age as Ope. I'm the one that met her first. Then, because we were neighbors and friends, Opie got to know her. They had a strong chemistry even then. Pretty soon I was brushed aside. Left forgotten. But I didn't mind so much. Donna came in at the perfect timing."

"How so?" Tara asked.

"Ope's parents were going through some rough shit. They had always had problems, but shortly before Donna came in things got worse."

Tara stayed silent for a while, then smiled. "You and Opie. You've been friends for long." It wasn't a question, it was a statement. And Jax knew what she wanted to know.

Jax nodded. "Yeah, ever since birth. Opie was born 16 months before me. Our dads were in 'Nam together. After the war they started a motorcycle club with seven other guys—called it Sons of Anarchy. They all became like brothers, so naturally Ope and I did too." Jax thought about his friendship with Opie. "I don't have a single memory without Ope in it. He's been there through all the laughs. But mainly, he's been around for all the bad shit."

Tara simply stared at him. She didn't say anything, but her eyes said it all. She wanted to know.

And he decided to say it. "It's been a shitty decade," he said, thinking back to that day in April of 1990.

With the most gentle voice she asked, "What went wrong?"

He didn't want to talk about it, but then he did. So many people asked the question, but he never wanted to answer it. This time though, with her, he more than wanted to speak. "I had a little brother, about six years younger than me. His name was Thomas and he was…the sweetest kid you'd ever meet." He remembered the first few years of Thomas' life and he smiled. They had been great years. "I got into some stupid shit—kid stuff with Ope. I would drag Thomas around with me all the time. He had plenty of times to snitch on me, but he never did. I would sometimes push him to do some of the dumb shit, but he never did. Even at such a young age, he had a great sense of morality. It would drive me nuts." He laughed at this. At the memory. Memory. It's all Thomas was now. A memory.

A small knot came to his throat and he tried to clear it out.

"How did it happen?" Tara's voice was just above a whisper.

He remembered his mother's words. "Family flaw."

Tara frowned at this.

"It's a congenital heart defect. My mom was born with it and her grandmother more than likely. I was born with it too. As was Thomas. My mom had open heart surgery right after Thomas was born. Thomas' birth caused her heart more damage, but the doctors were able to repair it. Thomas was perfectly healthy, but then he turned five and…things went south." He remembered that first scare. His brother lying on the ground, not being able to breathe. They were in someone's backyard—he couldn't remember whose. He had called out to his parents, but they didn't seem to be arriving fast. He and Ope had to pick Thomas up and start carrying him. Eventually, his parents came and they all rushed to the hospital. "The first time happened when I was 11. He was in critical condition and the doctor ensured us he would be dying within the next few days. Thomas was walking out of that hospital on his own two feet two weeks later." He smiled at this. Smiled at the fact that the Tellers were a strong bunch.

"Four more scares occurred after that one. Each one being worse than the one before it. The last one happened on April 1—four years ago. He died three days later. He was only six."

He could see Tara was doing her best not to cry. Her eyes were watery, but none came down.

He swallowed. "It took a turn on my old man. My mom, I saw, got stronger. She was the one picking my dad up from the ground, wiping the tears away. He was broken. His attitude changed. Even with me. Before, my dad had been kind of a hard ass. He never beat me, but he ruled with a fist. After Thomas…he was someone else. Instead of wrestling with me and teaching me how to fight or taking me out to shoot, we began talking. Long hours at a time. Sometimes it had to do with meaningless things, others were heavy philosophical shit. I was only twelve and thinking of things I never had before. About what life meant. What it meant to be a man—what a treasure it was to be child. He always told me not to grow up too fast. To breathe, think, analyze, before doing anything else. Consider different angles. Always have a plan, he would tell me. Always know who you _are_ in that plan. Don't lose yourself."

Jax thought back to those conversations. Thought back to the questions his father would make him question. How his father pushed him to figure out what it was he believed in. He missed him; he truly did.

"Where is he now?" asked Tara.

It didn't surprise Tara didn't know anything about him. She didn't have many friends. He saw her speaking to plenty of other students, but it was always about school stuff. Donna and Rachel were the only ones she really had conversations with. And he doubted either one of those two would give details about his life to Tara.

"He died about a year ago. After that, I took a dive into a pile of shitty emotions," he said with complete anger as he remembered that day last November where his life turned to shit. "I was out of control. Breaking shit, getting into stupid fights, yelling at anyone who came up to me, not giving a fuck about school. What was worse was knowing there were only two people who could calm me down. One of them was the cause of my emotional rage but was currently lying in a grave, and the other was a hundred miles away."

Tara frowned. "Where was Ope?" She had caught on; she knew who he had been referring to.

"His mom bailed on his dad well over a year ago. She took Opie with him. He said he tried for several months to convince her to come back, but she wouldn't budge. He had been gone for about four months when the accident happened with my old man. He came as soon as he could, but only for a little while. He went back to his mom, convinced he could change her mind."

"But, you were hurting. You needed a friend," Tara observed.

Jax shook his head. "I didn't wanna bother him, so I didn't tell him anything. But after a month of not getting better, he came back definitely. I'm still not sure who it was that told him. Not sure if it was Piney, or Clay, or my mom. But whoever it was, I'm grateful. I was in a black hole. He was the one that picked me up off the floor, dragged me to the bathroom, and dumped me in the shower. He knew how to get through to me. After that I started taking out my anger in other ways." He thought to the whores and sluts he had fucked in the last nine months. All the meaningless sex he had had with them.

"How?" Tara asked.

"The way all guys do," he said, not wanting to get too into it. He knew she knew what he meant by it because she looked down with a flush on her cheeks.

"So, what about you?" he asked.

Tara frowned, not understanding. "What _about_ me?"

"Well, I told you why _I'm_ damaged. I can see you are too." He did his best not to be so blunt, but he had a feeling there was no way tiptoeing around the question. Much like him, Tara avoided thinking of her past. She wanted to put it in a box and walk away. But he learned from experience that this only caused more shit down the line. Talking might help her. It kind of helped him. He felt like a big weight had been lifted off his shoulders. And he liked that he had done this with Tara. She wasn't giving him looks of pity or sorrow, just looks of understanding.

But he wanted to know _why _she understood him. What was it _she _had gone through? He wanted to know everything. Everything that had to be about her.

/

~TARA~

Jax knew. She had always known he knew something was wrong. She saw his worried glances. She had tried to avoid them, but now she as unable to. They were alone. No one was around. And they had the entire day.

She thought back to the worst month of this year. She never wanted to think about it, much less had never spoken aloud about it. Somehow though, it just came out of her so easily. "He went to a nearby high school where I lived. We had gone to the same junior high and had kept in touch. He was popular and handsome and had that bad boy streak every girl wanted. I liked him. I really liked him."

"Boyfriend?" Jax asked.

She gave a slight nod.

"What happened?" he asked.

She took a deep breath, preparing herself for it. "He claimed to love me, promised me things, gave me gifts. After a few weeks of him being so sweet, he asked me out. We were going out for a little while and things got pretty heavy." She hoped she didn't need to describe too much to Jax what she meant by that, and when he didn't say anything she continued. "Just like every other girl after it first happens, a mixture of emotions came over me, but I felt he loved me and that I loved him." She prepared herself for the final outcome. "Shortly afterwards he asked me for help with his homework and tests. I didn't think anything of it and said yes. But then, I noticed that his meaning of 'help' meant 'doing'. He got angry with me. He said some…_awful _stuff and left." She really didn't want to say what the jerk had said to her. The names and insults were too difficult to say out loud. "He made it clear the only reason why he slept with me was to help him pass his classes he was close to failing."

Jax must have felt this and didn't pressure it. For a while, he was silent, probably thinking. Then, he spoke. "Is that what you think I'm doing?"

The thought had crossed her mind plenty of times, more at the beginning but not so much lately. She said this to him, wanting to be honest.

He looked up at her, holding her eyes with his baby blues. "Do you need me to tell you something to ensure you that that's not what I'm after?"

There were moments since she met him that she allowed herself to look into his eyes for a while. When she did this, she was able to see something in him—something that told her there was deep sincerity in what he was saying to her. This was one of those moments. "No," she said with complete confidence. She now knew completely that Jax Teller was not at all like the asshole who had taken advantage of her.

He simply nodded. "Did you tell your parents?"

At this, Tara couldn't help but snicker at the thought. "Yeah," she said sarcastically. "I told my drunken father while he was lying in his own pile of vomit that a guy had taken advantage of me. I told him that in front of the very few friends I had my ex said I was a bad lay." She laughed because she didn't know how else to react. She didn't want to cry, which was how she normally reacted whenever thinking of the awful experience.

She kept silent for a while, letting it sink through her.

Jax spoke up. "Is that why you hate that house? Why you don't allow anyone to go inside?"

She gave a small nod, but didn't say anything.

"How long has this been going on?" His voice was so gentle and careful.

It made her trust him. "For four years. Since I was 12. My, uh—" she cleared her throat because she was about to say something else she hadn't ever said aloud. The knot in her throat threatened to break her down. But she managed to bring it out. "My mom died when I nine." She let out a breath and tried to control the tears that threatened to come down. She wasn't looking at Jax, because she knew if she did those tears would definitely be coming down.

"How?" his voice was still gentle.

"Cancer," she said. "They took out the tumor, but it was too late. It had spread all over. There was nothing they could do. My dad didn't take it so great. He did his best though. He used to own a business, but after my mom died, he didn't know how to be a business man _and_ family man. One had to cave. And it was his business that did.

"When I was 11 he sold his business and took on a lower paying job to make sure I was looked after—to be sure I had a father and a mother. But, I'm not sure if it was because taking on both roles was too stressful or because he was working at a job he hated—or maybe it was a combination of both—but after a year he couldn't take it anymore. He hit a wall and picked up a bottle.

"At first I thought it was a stage he was going through. That he would go through his depression for a year and wake up out of it. But it just got worse. At first, he would drink, but he was still there to make me breakfast and dinner and help me with my homework. But he slowly slipped away from all those things. By the time I reached high school, the only image I saw of my dad was him lying down on any place in the house with vomit right next to him, and a spilled bottle on his hand." The image both made her sick and feel pity for her father. She hated him, but could understand him. "I remember coming home from my first day in high school and realizing I was on my own. He was in the hall, passed out as usual. With a picture of the three of us—we were one happy family. I remember just standing there, remembering as much as I could of those eight happy years. And I came to a realization that I would never be able to get those eight years back. I needed to face this fact and look to the future. Because my father wasn't going to help me get there—I had to do it on my own."

She felt exhausted, as though she had been crying for the entire day, but not a single tear had come down from her eyes.

"That's why you're taking on all these heavy courses: to get the hell out of Charming because of all the baggage," Jax said.

Tara shook her head. "Not to get the hell out of Charming. To get away from _him_, from my past, my hurt." A tear finally made its way out.

Jax reached over and placed his hand over hers. "Running away isn't the solution, babe."

Tara wiped the tear away. She begged to differ, but she didn't say it out loud. She knew Jax would argue with her and right now she didn't want to fight.

"Does…he do anything else?" he was cautious at asking the question.

Tara knew what he was referring to. She shook her head. "He doesn't do anything. He doesn't hit me or abuse me—physically or verbally. He hardly ever speaks. There's only two reasons why he leaves that house and that's to go to work and to take me to Stockton. It's the only thing he has left, I think. Before my mom passed away there were three things he loved most in the world: my mom, me, and his cutlass—all in that order. After she died, it changed to our house (which represented my mom), my education (because he couldn't be a father anymore), and still his cutlass. When we moved a few months ago, it was hard for him leaving behind that house. He only has two things he holds onto and that would be his cutlass (which stays in the garage and is seen by no one) and my education. He never misses picking me up on either one of those days to take me to Delta. Anything else, though, his promises mean shit."

Jax just looked at her. Not a trace of pity was written in it and she was grateful. She hated looks of pity.

"It was her anniversary a few weeks ago. He gets a little worse. A little violent, but not towards me. He'll hurt himself with the glass bottles. I just have to make sure he more looked after during that time. I can't have him die on me. Then, I'll just be put in foster care and all my hard work will have gone to waste." She was joking, but serious at the same time.

Jax gave her a nod. His hand was still placed on hers. His thumb did circles. "I'm sorry."

Tara gave a shrug and looked up at him. "Not your fault. It's this life. Gotta keep your eye on the road ahead."

Jax nodded in agreement. He turned to the water.

Tara took in a deep breath. She had the biggest headache now. She felt so exhausted.

"Wanna take a walk?" Jax asked her.

Tara looked around her and she wondered why it was she was in such a bad mood while they were in such a beautiful place. She shouldn't waste today. She gave Jax a nod. "Sounds good."

Jax got up first and extended his hand to her. She took it and he helped her up. As she turned to start walking, Jax wrapped his arm around her shoulder and kept it there throughout the walk.

The two went back in forth in the conversation. Sometimes it was lighthearted and funny, at other times it was sharing good memories of their past, other times it had to do with the cruel reality they had to face at such a young age, and then there were other times where they spoke of current events.

Tara had never felt time fly pass by as fast as it did then. Around noon the five friends had gotten together and had lunch. They hung out for about an hour before splitting up three different ways again. Rachel continued exploring. Donna and Opie continued their make out session while Tara and Jax fell back into their walk.

/

~JAX~

Tara was laughing at something Jax had just said when he saw his best friend coming up to him. "Hey, man. It's time to split. Donna's gotta be home by 8."

Donna and Rachel were following Opie, each clinging to each other because of the cold.

"Damn," Tara said as she looked down at her watch.

Jax did the same too. He saw it was 7:30 already. Where did the time go?

Tara got to her feet and began to pack everything up in her bag. "We should hurry. Where did you guys park?" she asked as she turned to Jax.

"Right next to Rachel's car," he responded.

"Good. It's not that far a walk."

Rachel took the lead. "We're gonna have to stop at Lodi. I need gas and I don't trust any of these gas stations along the road."

Donna let out a groan. "I'm gonna be late."

"I'll take you then," Opie immediately offered.

Donna turned to him. "It's getting dark though. And cold. I don't have a jacket. I'll freeze behind your bike."

"I have a couple of jackets in my car. I keep them in there just in case," Rachel offered.

"Ok. Perfect. If I'm late, my mom is gonna pull my hair."

Jax doubted it. Donna just liked to over-worry.

When they got to Rachel's car, she pulled out a jacket and handed it to Donna. Donna took it and gave a hug goodbye to Rachel and Tara. Then, she and Opie got into his bike and drove off.

Tara turned to Jax. Her arms were wrapped around herself; she too was cold, but she was already wearing a sweater. "You gonna follow us out of here?"

"Why don't you just ride with me? I can give you a lift," he offered as he got closer to her.

He saw she debated this for a moment, but shook her head. "No, I came with Rachel. It's fine. Thank you, though."

Right behind Tara was Rachel. She was mouthing something. Jax tried not to be too obvious as he tried to read her lips. He finally understood it. "Follow me," she was saying.

Jax looked down at Tara with a smile. "Well, I'm gonna need some gas too. I'll follow you two there."

Tara seemed a little happy by this. "Ok." She turned and got into the passenger's seat.

Jax turned over to Rachel. She sent him a smile and got into the driver's seat.

Jax went to his bike and followed them out.

They got to the gas station in about ten minutes. As Rachel put gas in her car, Tara walked over to Jax and the two continued talking.

Jax looked over at Rachel and saw her go to the hood of her car and do something. He frowned, but didn't say anything.

Rachel gently closed her hood, not making too much noise. She walked over to her pump and took it out. "I take it you two love birds took advantage of this beautiful day," Rachel said as she looked over at her friends.

Tara turned a little red.

Jax smiled at this. "Bite us, Rachel."

Rachel laughed. "Come on, lover girl. We gotta get you home." She climbed onto the driver's side and buckled up.

Tara turned to Jax and gave him a smile. "Bye."

Jax wanted nothing more than to lean over and kiss that smile. "Later."

Tara walked over to the car and got inside.

Jax got into his bike and waited for Rachel. After about a minute though, he noticed she wasn't moving the car. Jax got off his bike and walked over. "What's up?"

Rachel was turning her key to no avail. "Damn car won't start. I'm not sure why. Everything was fine when I left this morning."

Jax knew why. "Maybe it's the battery?"

Rachel feigned a look of disbelief. "Not possible. I just got a new one two months ago."

Jax looked around the gas station and saw no one else was there besides them.

"Don't you have a cousin that lives close by? Can't he drive over and jump start your car?" asked Tara.

Rachel nodded and began to get out of the car. "I'll be right back." She went over to the payphone that was right next to them.

As she made the call, Jax and Tara continued their talk. And after five minutes, they saw a white pick-up truck pull into the gas station.

Jax looked at the person inside of it. It was a guy that looked in his early 20s. He had black hair and a face that looked very familiar. When he got out, Jax knew who this was. The boy had to be Chief Unser's son. He looked just like the old bastard.

When he got closer, he gave a nod to Rachel. "You got cables?" Then, his eyes landed on Tara.

Jax turned to her and saw she gave the guy a smile.

Jax turned back to the guy just in time to see him give a wink to Tara.

At doing this, Tara grew a bit stiff.

Rachel nodded and pointed to them. They were already on the hood of her car.

As the two cousins worked on the car the Unser guy kept looking over at Tara with a creepy smile. Jax could tell this was making Tara feel uncomfortable because she was getting closer to him.

Finally, after a few minutes, Rachel's car roared to life. She gave a yelp of excitement.

She was a good actress, Jax thought while trying to hold back a smile.

"I'm not sure you should be driving this to Charming though, Rach," said the Unser guy. "It might not have enough juice for the twenty minute drive. It's safer if you stay the night. Tomorrow we can buy you a new battery. And your friend can stay over too, if she's riding with you," he said as he sent Tara another creepy smile.

Tara looked a bit worried. "I, uh—actually, I came with him," she said as she got closer to Jax and wrapped her arm through his.

"That's too bad," the Unser guy said and walked back to his truck. Before climbing inside, he sent Tara another wink.

Rachel came over and handed Tara a jacket and Tara's backpack. "Drive safe."

Tara took both objects. "Thanks, Rachel. And sorry, but I really should be heading home."

Rachel nodded and turned over to Jax and gave him a knowing smile. "No worries. I understand."

Jax couldn't help smiling down at Rachel. "It's a good thing you had those two jackets to spare. Otherwise, everything would have turned out to be a bigger mess. I mean, both Tara and Donna would have to stay over the night more than likely."

Rachel nodded. "I always come prepared." She went back to her car. "Later."

Tara put on the jacket and then her backpack. "Don't drive so fast, ok? I'm not sure I could handle the cold."

Jax handed her the helmet. "Yes, ma'am." He hopped on first and waited until she was fully seated in the back before he turned on the engine. Then, he rolled out of Lodi.

They really didn't speak much; they were driving too fast to understand each other. But that didn't mean they didn't enjoy the ride. With her arms wrapped securely around him, it made him think clear thoughts. Usually, a long ride like this made his head hurt. Too much shit was going through him that the long stretches of silence drove him nuts. However, knowing she was right behind him, allowed him to not worry so much.

They got to her street about twenty minutes later. He parked the bike and she got off slowly.

He turned in time to see her take off her helmet and look at her house with hesitation.

Now that he knew more about her past, Jax couldn't help but feel connected to her. He didn't know of anyone else who had gone through rough shit like he had in the past few years. Tara telling him about her life made him feel incredibly lucky.

Unlike Tara, he had only lost one parent. After the death of his father, Clay—who had been like an uncle growing up—stepped in and became a father figure for him. His mother became the strong woman he needed her to be. Opie had been there to console him and be his ear. And then there was the Club. Piney, Tig, and other SOA members had all made it clear to Jax that if he ever needed something, they were all there to lend a hand. Although Jax felt alone at times, he knew he had the support of his family.

Tara, on the other hand, didn't have anyone. Her mother had died when Tara had been too young. She lost that blanket every woman provided her child with. Tara's father was the next to go, leaving Tara before he could embed in her the physical strength only a father could teach his child. This blocked her from opening up to people and getting too close. And as a result, she had little to no friends. Then, the first guy she takes serious interest in ends up being a complete dick. Who did she have to turn to for this?

No one. She had to be that person for herself. She was her own mother, father, and friend. She was her own mentor.

Jax didn't want her taking on that burden by herself though. No one could live through this life on his or her own and survive. He knew Tara was strong and able, but he didn't want her to go through it alone.

Jax got up from his bike.

Tara turned to him and handed him the helmet. "Thanks." She began to make her way to her front door.

Jax followed her.

She turned, surprised and not knowing what to say.

Jax gave her a small smile and took her hand.

She didn't say anything but didn't push him away either.

When they got to her front door, she turned to him as she still held his hand. "Thank you, Jackson."

He smiled down at her, taking a step closer to her and brushing away a strand of her hair from her face.

Tara looked down, looking a bit nervous. "Can we take this slow? I'm kind of emotional at the moment and I wouldn't want to do something because of what happened today."

Jax nodded, understanding her. She wanted to take precaution. It wasn't that she didn't trust him, but that she wanted to make sure that if and/or when they decided to take this relationship to the next step it was for the right reasons and not just because of what happened today. He had shared a moment with her today and he too wanted to make sure that it wasn't a one-time thing. He could see Tara being a great friend to have around—a mixture of Opie and Donna. He didn't want to jeopardize it simply for a moment of weakness. She was right. They should take this slow.

"Ok," he said to her as he brushed her cheek with the back of his hand.

She looked up at that moment and smiled sweetly at him. "Good night."

"Night," he answered, not moving.

She reached over and kissed him gently on the cheek, then pulled away and walked into her house.

He gave her a wave as she closed the door. He walked over to his bike, more thoughts coming to his brain.

* * *

**AN**: I'd like to believe that Unser's "kid" is not so perverted, so in my mind Rachel is the one that told him to be very bold around Tara. That way Tara was willing to leave with Jax instead of staying behind.

I tend to believe that what makes or break a relationship is communication and a sense of connection. I believe something strong like the conversation Jax and Tara had here created their foundation. I think they are the only people who know each other completely. Although Opie is/was Jax's best friend, it's Tara that truly knows him. As a friend of mine always says "Behind every great man is a great woman." I believe that to an extent and believe that in order for Jax to deal with the shit he deals with, it is Tara and their sons that give him the emotional boost he needs. During season 5 they each are going through many differences and struggles and don't seem to be as connected as before, but that's because of all the mess they have no control over. But I do believe that if they weren't in each other's lives, things would be so much worse.

Also, I hope you guys are paying attention to the songs that are being selected as the title for the chapters. I think they all fit Jax and Tara perfectly throughout the chapter.

**DATE**: 1/16/13


	5. Edge of Desire

**CHAPTER ****4**: "Edge of Desire" WRITTEN by John Mayer, but SUNG by Josh Gracin (ok, I really liked the song when I first heard it on Mayer's Battle Studies, but then I heard Gracin release it a little over a year ago and I fell in love with HIS version. Find it, hear it, and I assure you, you will melt the way I did. If you don't, then you're a guy or hold no womanly loins. LOL)

**SUMMARY**: A kiss is never just a kiss…

**NOTE: **Ok, I did something a little different in this chapter. There are five shorter snapshots that all take place within a month. It's the same length as the other chapters…again. Enjoy! Also, lots of LEMON in this chapter! Be warned!

**DISCLAIMER**: If I were to own this godforsaken show, I would make it the Tara and Jax show…and then people would stop watching it cuz there's not enough action happening and the ratings would plummet. So…I guess it's a good thing Kurt Sutter is the owner.

**TIME PERIOD**: October '94

* * *

SNAPSHOT 1

~TARA~

"Come on, Tara. Just give me something," Rachel was practically begging.

"What is with the interest in my personal life?" Tara asked as she put her Econ book inside of her locker.

"I don't want _all_ the juicy details, just enough to settle my crave," Rachel explained.

"Your crave can never be settled," said Donna.

"I just wanna know if the damn idiot has made his move yet," Rachel argued. "What's the harm in knowing that?"

Tara knew her fiend wasn't going to let this go. She figured she could share a little. "We haven't done anything. We've just been hanging out."

"And…?" Rachel insisted, wanting more information.

"And nothing—as I said. We're just hanging out." Although most of the time she really wished they were doing more.

However, she and Jax had already decided. They were going to take things slow. They each wanted to make sure that the feelings they had went beyond physical attraction. They were friends now. They didn't want to jeopardize it.

Rachel looked sourly disappointed in this. "Tell me there's at least a little bit lip action going on during those private moments."

Tara shook her head. "No."

Rachel looked confused. "No, you don't kiss or no, you don't want to tell me? Please let it be the latter," Rachel pleaded.

Tara gave her a look. She closed her locker. "I'll see you guys in a bit."

"Where are you going?" asked Donna. Usually right after fourth period was over, the three of them would go over to the front of the school and have lunch with Jax and Opie.

"Bathroom. Just give me a minute." Tara made her way to the girls' bathroom.

As she went into one of the stalls, a pair of girls—the only ones left in there—washed their hands and Tara heard them leave.

Tara heard someone else come in, but didn't hear the person go into one of the stalls. She didn't think much of it and after finishing, she left her stall and went over to the sink to wash her hands.

As she washed her hands she saw three girls standing right next to the exit. They all were giving Tara dirty looks.

Tara felt a little weirded out by this. She didn't know any of these girls, yet they looked to know exactly who she was.

Then, the three girls (who were all blondes), one was tall, another was short, and the other one looked like some girl out of Playboy, made their way up to Tara.

"You're good," said the perfect looking blonde to Tara. Her voice was full of venom.

"Excuse me?" Tara asked, confused, looking at all three of them. She stopped washing her hands and began to dry them. She felt it best to ignore them. Maybe that would make them turn away and leave.

The short blonde and tall blonde got closer to Tara, each looking angry.

What was their deal? Tara thought.

"The whole innocent, goody-good-girl is playing perfectly with Jax," continued saying the Playboy blonde. "But none of us are convinced. I'm not sure what you tampered Jax with that made him fall for your slutty ways, but the rest of us can see the truth of who you really are. A skanky-ass fake."

Seriously? She was being threatened because of the relationship her and Jax had? These girls were pathetic. "Whatever you think I'm doing, I'm sorry you feel that way. But what's going on between me and Jax, is between me and Jax." With that, she began to make her way towards the door.

The tall blonde grabbed Tara by the arm and pushed Tara against the wall.

A shot of pain came to Tara's upper back at the impact.

The Playboy blonde grabbed Tara by the face and lifted it up to look at her. "We are all Jax can handle at the moment, he doesn't need some stupid, little, prissy bitch to drool all over him. Got it?"

Annoyance came through Tara at these words. "Jax is a big boy, I'm pretty sure he can make his own decisions on who he wants to hang out with."

Anger shot through the Playboy blonde's face. She raised her hand high and slapped Tara across the face, hard.

It felt like a hot iron had been placed on her face. Tara was much too shocked to react in any way. No one had slapped her before. What the hell was wrong with this crazy Playboy girl?

The Playboy girl grabbed Tara's face and lifted it up again. "Stay. Away. From. Jax. It's you're one and only warning." She gave Tara a push against the wall and with a death stare, she left the bathroom, her two blonde goons following her.

Tara tried to catch her breath. She honestly didn't know what to do. She didn't know how or why all of this happened. She knew most girls in this school were into Jax, she wasn't blind. She saw all the looks he got and saw all the girls flaunt themselves to him. But, she never believed their feelings for him had been _this_ strong.

Then, she remembered Rachel's warning about a month ago. Rachel had implied some of these girls might get physical and warned Tara to watch her back. She had been right.

Tara turned to the mirror and saw how much damage the girls had caused. She saw a little bit of redness on her cheek. She grabbed her backpack and took out her make-up. Thankfully, she had some foundation in there—although she never used it. She didn't have the patience for make-up. The only thing she put on was a bit of eye shadow, some mascara, and on occasion lipstick.

For a few minutes, Tara just stood there thinking after applying on foundation and covering up the redness. She was trying to make sense of why these girls felt so passionate about Jax. They didn't know even know him. They never bothered to do more with him than wrap their arms around him and try to get a kiss or grope him. This seriously frustrated Tara. Knowing these girls were after the status and image of Jax, instead of being interested in him for who he actually was. And it set her off that they would want to take him away from her. Tara had never valued a friendship before the way she did with the one she had with Jax. She had always been a loner and for once someone had been able to break through her barrier and touch her, comfort her, _listen_ to her.

No, she thought with determination. They wouldn't take him away from her.

She grabbed her bag off the floor and headed out to meet her friends.

When she made her way out of the double doors, she saw Rachel, Donna, and Opie hanging out by Opie's bike. Beside him was Jax on top of his bike with a beautiful blonde sitting right next to him. Two other blondes were also there and giggling at something.

It wasn't something new. Tara saw girls hanging around Jax this way almost every day. Usually, after fourth period Tara would go over to one of the tables that were placed in the front of the school and sit down. Within a minute Rachel would be over, with Donna and Opie right behind her. Jax would join them about ten minutes later, after he was done getting the flirting out of his system. When Rachel asked why he hadn't left the skanky blondes earlier, he would answer that it was rude to immediately dismiss company and would send Tara a wink and teasing smile.

Tara knew he did it to annoy her and she would never respond. Mainly because she had no say in Jax's life. He was a free man. They weren't in a relationship. She had no right to say anything about those girls hanging all over him.

However, once she saw who the beautiful blonde was who was on Jax's bike, her blood boiled. It was the Playboy girl.

Without thinking, without planning, Tara made her way over to Jax and the three blondes. It was a good thing it was somewhat of a long walk to get to them, because her instincts told her to go over to the Playboy girl and return the slap that had been given. However, Tara took a breath and came up with a better idea. She was still in a rage and bother with the girl, but her head was a little clearer.

Jax saw her coming. His eyebrows knit a little together. She knew why he was a bit confused. She never came up to him while he was talking to skanks. "Hey," he greeted her softly.

Tara avoided the blondes, but could feel their frustration bursting out of them. She gave Jax a small smile and feigned to look a bit down. "Hey," she said back.

He got up from his bike and now really looked concerned. "What's the matter?"

Tara let out a fake groan. "Can I ask you a favor?"

He nodded.

"I'm not feeling too well," she began to explain.

Jax reached behind him and grabbed the helmet. He handed it to her. "I'll take you home."

Out of the corner of her eye, Tara saw the girls shooting daggers at her. Tara fought to keep her face straight. "Sorry," she told Jax.

"It's fine." He placed his hand upon her face and as he looked at her, he noticed something on her cheek. She cringed a bit because of the hurt. She tried to hide it, but was unsuccessful. He frowned at this, looking even more worried. "What—?"

Tara placed her hand on top of his and shook her head. "It's nothing."

It hadn't been there in the morning or during third period, Tara knew he caught this. He knew that this had to have happened just a little bit ago. He took his other hand and placed it on the other side of her face, caressing her other cheek. "You sure?" he asked with seriousness. His mouth was tight, his eye brows raised and knitted. It was a look he got when he was trying hard not to get angry.

She gave him a nod, wanting for him to remain at ease. "Yeah. Just take me home."

He seemed to think for a moment, but then let out a sigh, gave her a nod, and reached over to kiss her gently on the forehead.

She wrapped her arms around his waist, allowing herself to be wrapped in his warmth and shelter.

She completely forgot about the blondes. All her thoughts were about the many layers of Jax and how she seemed to care for every single one of those layers.

He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and down her back, holding her a little tighter. "Sorry."

She knew he had a pretty good idea what happened. She didn't think he knew who the cause of it was, though. And she didn't want him to. She looked up at him and gave him a smile. "It's unimportant."

He returned her smile and kissed her forehead one more time. "Come on."

She's the one who dropped her arms first and put on the helmet.

Jax went to his bike and said something to the Playboy girl who was still sitting there.

Tara didn't catch it, but she pushed her way to get to the back seat.

As Jax roared the bike to life and Tara wrapped her arms around his waist, Tara sent the Playboy girl a half-cocky smile.

Tara held onto Jax tighter as he drove out of the parking lot.

/

/

SNAPSHOT 2

~JAX~

Jax made his way out of the shower with the towel wrapped around his waist. He went over to his room to change, but couldn't find the clothes he had laid out on his bed for the day. He frowned and walked out into the hallway. "Mom!"

No answer.

He came into the kitchen. No one was there. Odd. She had been in here making breakfast before he got into the shower. She might be in the laundry room, he could hear the washer was on and heard something drop inside of it. He was sure she was doing his laundry. He walked over to the room. "Mom, did you grab the clothes that were on my bed?" he asked as he opened the room.

The sight before him made him forget completely about his clothes. "Ugh! Gross!" He looked away, feeling blinded.

His mother and Clay were inside the laundry room making out. Both separated as soon as he caught them, looking guilty and embarrassed.

"Have I not asked _not_ to do that until _after_ I've had my breakfast?" Jax asked.

Clay just shrugged with a smile.

"I thought you were taking a shower. You usually take a while in there," explained his mother as she tried to button up her shirt.

Jax was happy his mom had found someone that was making her happy again. After the death of his father almost a year ago, she had been pretty down. Clay, one of his father's best friend, and she had grown closer. Both had lost a person they loved and cared for, Jax found it natural that they bonded over it. Although it was strange seeing her with someone else, Jax was glad she was together with Clay. Jax was protective of his mother and knew Clay was a good guy. He wouldn't hurt her, Jax was sure of it.

His mom and Clay had only been going out for a few weeks now, but they were quickly getting hot and heavy. Jax knew it was only a matter of time before Clay moved in.

"You know, too many cold showers can't be good for you, kid," Clay joked and smacked him in the back.

Jax chuckled. He loved the kind of relationship he had with the adults around him. He was very open with all of them and was encouraged to do so since a very early age. "I haven't taken a cold shower in a _long _time. Don't expect to for a good while either." He was completely lying, of course. For the last few weeks he hadn't done anything with a girl. The only thing that gave his dick any attention was his own hand. Ever since Mokelumne, it didn't feel right—having sex with a Crow Eater felt wrong. It felt as if he was cheating. For the first two weeks, after Mokelumne, he tried to ignore it, but he kept feeling a sickness to his stomach every time a girl went down on him.

He finally couldn't take it anymore and had to brush away all the Crow Eaters who tried to get in his pants. He knew Tig and Bobby grew concerned over this, but he didn't give a shit. He knew there was no way in explaining it to them.

Opie of course knew. Jax didn't have to tell him for him to figure it out. Piney and Chibs looked at Jax with questioning glances, but didn't say anything. Jax was grateful to them.

"As long as you remember to always wrap it up," said Jax's mom, snapping him out of his thoughts.

"Yes, ma'am," Jax answered sincerely. His mother had been buying him condoms since he was 14. But it was his father who had given him the talk at 10.

"You were looking for your clothes?" asked his mom.

"Yeah, did you put them in the washer yet?" If she had, he was screwed. He had nothing else decent to wear.

"I did," she answered as she poured herself some coffee.

He let out a groan. "I left some on my bed cuz I was gonna wear them today." He hated when his mother would go in there and start cleaning. shit It drove him nuts because things like this tended to happen; she would move shit he would need.

His mother turned to him and gave him a look. "Well, maybe if you would clean your shit up, then I wouldn't have to. And those clothes were filthy, Jackson. Why would you want to wear them?"

Because they were a few of the decent clothes he had. Most of his other clothing were SAMCRO labeled or cutoff shirts. He was meeting up with Tara today to study. He didn't want her to see him dressed up in that gear. It might scare her off. "I'm meeting with my study partner today. I doubt coming in with an image of a reaper won't be distracting."

His mother made a face. "Well, if she does she's a prejudice bitch."

Jax's jaw clenched at hearing his mother say that about Tara. "She's not."

His mother got a strange look in her eyes after he said this. "Is she the same girl you've been hanging out with after school?"

Jax nodded. "Yeah. Her name is Tara."

"She's new, isn't she?"

He gave another nod.

"Her dad is that Knowles guy, right? Jim? Tim? What's his name?"

Jax shrugged. He knew, he just didn't want his mother having the information. Knowing his mother and the ties she had with Charming PD, she would start digging away into Tara's past. He wanted her clear of Tara.

"He works at Eglee Constructions, doesn't he? With Piney?"

Jax took a deep breath. His mother never disappointed. "Don't, Mom."

She looked a bit taken aback. "Don't what?"

He gave her a look. "Don't."

She stopped pretending. "Can't a mother know who it is that is taking precious time away from her mother-son time?"

Jax cocked his eyebrow. "Just a minute ago you forgot you had a son and were about to have sex in that laundry room. I know you don't care much for the mother-son time—at least not on Saturday mornings when Clay has it off."

His mother kept a heavy look on him. "You sure she's good news?"

Jax laughed at this. He couldn't think of Tara being nothing _but_ good news. "She's a straight arrow, Mom. I promise."

"That's what worries me." The worry was in fact written all over her face.

He didn't get it. She worried over nothing. "Mom, we're just gonna study."

"You've been doing a lot more with this girl than studying, Jax. I know you. You're not like this with other girls."

"We're _friends_. Is there something wrong with hanging out with friends during my spare time? Most of my friends are older—SAMCRO—and I see them every weekend night at TM. Then there's Ope and that guy's always with Donna. The guys who are my age are either too chicken to hang out with me or are stuck-up little momma's boys. And the girls are only after getting in my pants," Jax explained himself.

"What's wrong with that?" asked Clay seriously.

Jax shook his head. "Tara is different. Nothing's happened between us. No kisses, no dating, no sex, nothing. The most I've done has been wrapping my arm around her—and I do that to all the girls."

He was saying this to his mom because he knew what her stance was on relationships. She didn't want him in any until he was well in his 20s. She insisted that during youth, teenagers could not handle the deep emotions and allowed those emotions to cloud judgments. She had made Jax promise her when he was 8 that until he was out of high school he would steer away from girlfriends. He was able to have sex with as many girls as he wanted, he just couldn't date them.

His mother looked a little more at ease. "Fine. Go. But remember you have work at—"

"Ten, I know. That's why we're meeting so early." He went to his room and quickly changed. He settled with a white t-shirt that contained an image of a reaper on the short sleeve. The word SAMCRO was displayed on the back. He grabbed some torn-off jeans and grabbed his father's knife. Usually, he was able to cover up his knife by the shirts and jacket he wore, but he couldn't find his jacket and this t-shirt wasn't as long as his others were.

"Mom, where's my jacket?" He asked as he came back to the kitchen.

His mother and Clay were kissing again on the kitchen counter. She pulled away. "I'm taking it to the cleaners."

He let out a groan.

She gave him that motherly look. "That shit stinks, Jax. It hasn't been cleaned for at least a year. You sweat, you tend to forget. And all that smoking and beer and pussy cum doesn't make it any better."

Jax grabbed his History book and notebook that were on the counter and waved to his mother and Clay.

"Be safe!" his mother called out.

He got into his bike and rode to the park where he and Tara were going to be meeting. Neither of them wanted to meet in their homes—both ashamed and scared of their parents—so they decided on the park.

He parked his bike on the street and looked down at his watch. It was five minutes before 8. He had made it on time. However, as he made towards the tables, he saw Tara was already there.

He had offered to pick her up, but she had refused him. He knew why. Her father didn't work on the weekends, which would higher the chance of meeting him. Jax knew how Tara felt about her father, so he knew it wasn't Jax she was ashamed of. But, he wasn't sure if she would be feeling the same in the next few minutes, seeing how the way he was dressed and the fact that he was caring a knife on him.

He would have left his knife at home, but life had taught him better. One needed to be secure and feel safe. He still wasn't allowed to carry a gun in public. He couldn't do that until his 17th birthday. He was glad he didn't have a gun on him; that for sure would have Tara running.

Jax took a breath as he got closer to her. He really wished he had at least a sweater on to cover up his tattoo. He didn't know what her stance on them were. She could think that only white trash people had them.

Then, her eyes came up to meet his. She immediately sent him a smile. "Morning." Her eyes were glued on his, so she hadn't seen it…yet.

That smile always brought out one of his own. "Hey." He came over to her and gave her a slight hug. "You been here long?" He went took a seat to her right.

She gave a slight shrug. "I went over to Georgette's and got some coffee and breakfast."

He saw there were two cups on the table along with two bagels and a couple of donuts. He grinned at the thought she thought of him. He reached over and took a donut. "Thank you."

"Hey!" Her face gave a fake look of anger. "Those are mine!"

"With your skinny figure, I highly doubt you were planning on eating everything yourself." Then, he took one of the coffees and took a sip. He gagged. Too sweet.

Tara laughed. "That one's mine. Yours is the other one."

He grabbed the other one and took a sip. Perfect. Straight black.

"I know you hate creamer and sugar." She grabbed her coffee and took a sip of it.

What she said surprised Jax. He had never told her. "How do you know?"

Tara stared at him blankly. "I've seen you drink it before. Remember, just a couple of weeks ago when we went to Yoyo's and we ordered coffee, you didn't put anything on yours. You just drank it black."

He couldn't help but grin at the fact that she noticed that about him. And had been considerate to buy him breakfast. Donuts were his favorite. Then, this thought prompted another question. "Did you know donuts are my favorite, too?"

She gave a slight shrug. "I figured so. It's the only thing I see you eat in the morning."

He wanted nothing more than to kiss her. Full on the lips, in front of everyone.

She grabbed her book out. "Alright, come on. We only have two hours."

They started studying. Jax tried his best to focus. Sometimes he would, while at others he caught himself simply staring at her.

He noticed her hair almost looked auburn. How had he never caught that before? "Did you dye your hair?" he asked.

Tara looked up and frowned. "No. Why?"

Jax stared at her hair. "Your hair's pretty bright, almost red."

"Oh, yeah. Under the sun it does that. When I was little my hair was actually more of a reddish color. With time, it just got darker." She looked down at her watch. "Damn. It's fifteen minutes til 10." She let out a sigh. "Can we meet again tomorrow? Same time?"

He nodded. "Yeah." He closed his book and notebook.

As he did that, he saw Tara reach over and touch his left forearm. He held his breath and waited for her reaction. What would she think about a sixteen-year-old having a tattoo?

"This is for your dad?" she asked with a gentle voice.

Jax just gave a nod.

She didn't say anything for a while, just stared at it. Finally, after a few moments, she looked up at him and the look in her eyes was something he had never seen there before.

He looked into those deep green eyes. "What?"

A glister spread in her eyes, her face. "You're something else, Jackson Teller. I was so wrong about you."

He didn't know how to take it, how to respond. But she didn't allow him to respond. She placed her hands on either side of his face and pulled him down as she reached over. He didn't see it coming. He didn't know when it happened exactly, but suddenly her lips were on his. Then they weren't. It had happened much too fast for him to enjoy.

He believed it was supposed to be a peck at first but when he looked into her eyes, shock was written all over her face. He didn't think she had planned this either. It had been pretty much a spur of the moment. But then her eyes went back to his lips and her eyes glowed. She looked back at him with her hands still located on either side of his face.

He didn't want to lean over and continue the kiss. This was her call. He wanted her to be the one to decide their pace, mainly because he was too afraid of being too bold and scaring her off.

Then, she pulled him forward again, and this time he was ready. He met her halfway and responded to her lips, her touch. He placed his hand on her neck and pulled her closer in. He felt her hands coming up to his hair and she dug at his scalp.

He reached over and grabbed her hip, lifting her up and sitting her on his lap. Both his hands on her hips now, grabbing onto her flesh.

Tara wrapped her arms fully around him and pressed her chest with his, barely coming up for air. Her lips were glued on his now and didn't seem to want to let go.

However, a loud sound of children laughter brought them back to reality. Well, more like it had made Tara pull away. He was planning on ignoring the annoying sound.

As she pulled away, Jax saw her lips were swollen red. Her hair was a bit untidy. She took a deep breath. "Well, I guess now we know a peck is never going to suffice."

His hands were still on her. He rubbed her stomach. "You don't see me complaining."

She let out a laugh. "You're so charming."

He smiled up at her.

She grinned from ear to ear and then started to pull away. "You're going to be late."

Jax let out a groan. She was right. And if he was late he would get an earful from Clay. Then Clay would tell his mother, and then his bike privileges would be put in jeopardy.

Tara packed up her stuff and Jax came to his feet. "Want a ride home?"

Tara shook her head, chuckling a bit. "That would be a bad idea and for several reasons."

Jax more than agreed. "Alright, so tomorrow?"

Tara turned to him and nodded. "Yeah."

Then, because he couldn't contain himself, he reached over and gave her long kiss.

She didn't reject him either. She actually had met him halfways and kissed him fully back.

When he forced himself to pull away he winked at her. "Later, babe."

She beamed widely. "Bye."

He walked over to his bike and rode off, happier than he had been in almost a year. He had a feeling things with Tara were going to be heading towards heavy and they would be getting there at a fast pace now.

He really didn't mind.

/

/

SNAPSHOT 3

~TARA~

Someone answered the phone after the first ring. "Hello?" It was a woman.

Tara knew it had to be Jax's mother. She took a breath and found the strength. "Hi, is Jax home?"

"Who wants to know?" the woman asked with a harsh tone.

Before Tara could answer or even respond, she heard Jax's voice in the background.

"Mom, is that for me?" His voice sounded as if he already knew the answer and was challenging his mother.

"Can't I ask who it is first?" the woman's voice turned into ice.

"Mom, give me the phone." Silence. "Mom!"

Tara waited a few seconds.

"Hello," came Jax's voice.

Tara let out a sigh. "You said you would be by the phone." She hadn't met Jax's mother or heard her voice before, but she had gotten plenty of warnings from Rachel about Gemma Teller. Rachel claimed Jax's mother was a scary woman and that Tara should watch out more for her than the girls in school. Now, Tara could see Rachel's warnings might be right.

"Sorry," Jax sounded sincere. "You free now?"

They had a plan. An essay for History was due in two days and both needed to review each other's. Her father had told Tara yesterday that he was to have a meeting with his boss concerning a raise and would be gone for a couple of hours. Tara had mentioned this to Jax and said it was enough time for the two to go over their essays. Jax had told her to call him as soon as her father left and that he would be waiting by the phone for her call.

"He just left," Tara informed Jax.

"I'll be right over."

Tara started to put down her phone.

"Where are you going?" asked Jax's mother in the background.

Tara put the phone back to her ear.

"I'm going over to Tara's to study, Mom," he said with her stern voice.

"You're spending too much time with that new girl, Jax."

"And?!" he demanded.

"And I don't like it! How many times do I have to say it?!"

"Mom, I really don't—" There was sudden silence. Then she heard Jax say lowly, "Shit." With a more volume voice he asked. "Tara? You there?"

He saw he hadn't hung up the phone.

Tara immediately hung up. She didn't know what else to do. She didn't want Jax to know she had been listening to a family argument, although her hanging up was confirmation for him that she had in fact listened.

A sick feeling to her stomach came over her. She knew not everyone in school were at all happy about the idea of Tara and Jax being some sort of item. Other than their three friends, no one thought Jax and Tara were compatible. Tara honestly didn't mind what everyone in school thought or said. They meant nothing to her. However, Jax's mother? She was important to Jax. Obviously, her thoughts on Tara were going to affect Jax somewhat.

For several minutes she thought heavily on this, then she heard a knock on the door.

Tara walked over and through the peephole saw it was Jax.

Upon opening the door, Jax gave her an apologetic look. "Hey."

Tara gave him a small smile. "Hi."

He let out a sigh and came into the house. "I'm sorry about that."

Tara closed the door behind him and began to walk over to her room. "About what?"

Jax followed her. "You know about what. I know you heard everything."

Once he was inside of her room, Tara closed the door. "Why is she so angry?"

Jax shook his head and shrugged. "I don't know." He was lying, she knew it.

"Is it _me_ she has a problem with?" Tara wanted to know, maybe there was a way to fix it...without meeting her though. Tara didn't think she was ready to meet Gemma Teller face to face just yet.

"She doesn't know you." He wasn't answering her question.

"Yeah, but she still has a problem with me."

"It's not you in particular. It's…" he looked lost in finding the words. "This," he said as he motioned between them. "She's against it. Whatever this is," he said.

The word moved something inside of her. Something she didn't like. "Whatever _this _is?" It annoyed her the blasé tone he had had on his voice as well.

He gave her a smile and looked down at her. She knew he found her anger humorous, he had told her so. He cupped her face with his palms. "You wanna put a label on it? Cuz _I've_ been wanting a label for over a month now, babe. _You're_ the one calling the shots."

Her body shivered under his touch. She placed her hands along his back and pulled him a little closer to her. "What if I'm ready for the next step?" she found herself asking out loud. She didn't know where it had come from, but something inside of her made her say it. Ever since their first kiss a week ago, Tara couldn't seem to tame herself down. She had a good idea of what she wanted now. And it all had to do with Jax.

He gave her a serious look. He knew what she was implying. "Yeah?"

She nodded and her hands roamed up and down his back. Yes, she was very sure.

He leaned a little closer, a cocky smile spreading across his face. "Tell me when to stop."

She closed her eyes and placed her hand on the back of his neck. "I won't," she breathed out.

And her lips were on his. It felt like an electric shock went through her, the same as it the first time they kissed. His lips on her, there was no better feeling. It was all she felt she needed.

He held onto her hips and went underneath her shirt. The feel of his cold fingers on her warm skin made her gasp for air. He bent his face a little more and started kissing her neck.

She let out a moan of pleasure and raked her fingers through his neck. He was driving her crazy.

He pushed them both down until they were on her bed. She was tugging at his sweater now. She didn't even know when her hands had gotten down there.

He pulled back slightly to take it off. When he had thrown his sweater on the ground, she reached over and grabbed his face, pulling him back for another kiss.

His body towered hers and she couldn't help the feeling it gave her loins at looking at his massive form. It turned her on. Then, she made the mistake at looking at his right forearm. The tattoo sent her off. She wrapped her arms around Jax's shoulders and then pulled her legs up around his hips. She wanted to be closer.

His fingers were on her shirt now and unbuttoning them. She didn't push him away or stop him. She wanted this. Every choice he made, she wanted him to make. Every caress he gave her made her want him to do more.

God, what was wrong with her? She had never been this horny, but she couldn't stop herself.

She took a hold of his lower back and went underneath his shirt, needing to touch his flesh. God, it felt orgasmic. It was so smooth and hard.

Jax managed to finally get her shirt off. He placed his hand right on her breast. He fondled it for a few moments, bringing out gasps from her. His touch could both bring her to life and end her all at once.

Then, he went under her bra and grabbed her. She moaned louder. He kissed her neck and began to plant kisses down to her chest and then her stomach, then back to her chest. He gave her boob a lick and then pressed his lips onto her nipple. Tara almost came undone right there. Her nails dug into his shirt. But the damn material was not what she wanted her fingers to be touching.

"Jax," she moaned out. "Shirt. Take off."

He pulled away and took off his shirt, coming down immediately afterwards.

She let out a sigh of relief at the touch of his skin under her fingers.

He continued his kisses upon her breasts, but it wasn't enough for him. He took off her bra completely and then began to unbutton her jeans.

As he did that, she too reached over to his jeans and began to unbutton them.

His fingers reached her first though.

She let out a yelp of pleasure. No one besides herself—which she had done _once_—had ever touched her there.

His fingers touched her clit and rubbed.

She held onto his belt as he did this to her. As he placed another finger onto her clit and drove her mad. "Jax."

Then, a finger entered her. Her hand went up to his neck clung tight. His breathing sounded heavier than hers and his eyes held a kind of lust she had never seen before. As he moved his finger in and out of her, she tried her best to be as composed as possible. She didn't want to cum too quickly. She wanted this to last. But when he added another finger, she couldn't hold it any longer. Her other hand came to his arm and she held on tighter. She was so close.

"Jax," she pleaded him.

He placed his forehead upon hers, his eyes just as intense as what she was feeling. His pace got a little faster. "Cum for me, babe."

It was the line that did it. It was that which sent her to shatter into a million pieces. Her stomach tensed up and she felt her entire body vibrating. Wave after wave kept coming to her. She had never experienced that kind of orgasm before. She never thought one like that existed.

After a few moments of taking a breath, he leaned over and kissed her softly on the lips. Silently, with his eyes on hers, he was asking her if she was ok.

She smiled widely at him.

He returned the smile and kissed her again.

It wasn't long before the kiss turned intense again.

This time, Tara wanted to be the one to return the favor. She reached over to his stomach and pushed him down to her bed. He allowed her and he gave her one of his wicked smiles.

She smiled back and reached down to his belt. She had already gotten his jeans unbuttoned. He raised his hips as she tugged a little at the jeans. She didn't take them completely off, just enough to allow her to reach into his white boxers.

As Tara reached in and found him, she let out a silent small thanks to her asshole ex. He had always enjoyed a handjob and had pressured her into it because at first she had been scared to do so. However, with time she grew to be ok with it, she didn't particularly like it—especially when he didn't return the favor—but she hoped that with Jax she could.

She saw he had plenty of precum already and used it as lubrication. She worked her hand up and down his skin, going slow at first. She could tell this was driving him crazy. He had a pained look on his face, but he didn't say anything.

She spit on her other palm, seeing she needed more to him out. Her speed became a little faster. Then, as one hand worked on him, the other went to his balls.

"Fuck," he grunted out. His breathing was becoming heavier. She took this as a good sign and continued with her pace. "Shit, Tara. I'm gonna blow."

She worked her hand a little faster, rubbing his head as well in the process. And after several more moments, he let out a sharp breath. "Move."

She sort of listened. She got her body out of the way, but continued rubbing him with her. She wanted to be the cause of this. Wanted to be the hand on him when he let out his orgasm.

He gave her a pleading look, almost looked like a warning.

She leaned in and gave him a passionate kiss. "Let go, baby," she said silently, hoping to have the same effect on him as he had with her when he said it.

And it did. He let out grunt and cum shot out. The sight had always turned Tara off, but this time the complete opposite happened to her. She liked it. She liked the thought of being the reason as to why Jax had lost control.

"Fuck," he let out, trying to catch his breath.

Tara smiled and leaned more into him.

He took her into his arms and collapsed fully on the bed.

For a few minutes, they spent it in each other's arms as they took in the experience. Tara placed her hand on his chest and made circles. Her feelings for Jackson Teller had no control anymore. Her head was getting clearer with every moment she spent with him.

She lifted her head a little and lightly touched his chin.

He looked down at her with such calmness and gave her a small smile.

Him looking at her, she knew now. No doubts inside of her. With her eyes looking straight into his blue ones, she let it out. "I love you."

His stare did not change. It neither turned scary nor surprised nor happy.

And the sudden slamming of the door stopped Jax from also doing so.

Tara's heart suddenly paced faster. She turned to her alarm clock. 6:15. "Shit!" He was back early—way too early.

They both got up from her bed and began to change into their clothes.

"Did you park in the driveway?" Tara asked, worried. If her father saw Jax's bike there was no way her father was going to doubt Tara had a visitor in here.

Jax shook his head. "I parked a block away—just in case."

She grabbed Jax's sweater and threw it at him. "The window," she said as she pointed towards her window. Her father had yet to get a screen for it, so it would be easy for Jax to sneak off.

"Tara!" called out her father from the living room.

Jax hurried over to the window, pulling on his shoes.

Tara grabbed his backpack and followed him. "Where are your keys?"

"Pocket," he said as he motioned to his jeans. He got to the window and began to climb out. "Pick you up tomorrow?"

She nodded. "Yeah."

He leaned over and kissed her. "Later, babe."

She waved goodbye to him and closed the window as soon as he was out.

Her father called out to her again. She went to the mirror and made sure she looked decent. And as she looked in the mirror and thought back to the last hour, a wide smile spread across her face.

/

/

SNAPSHOT 4

~JAX~

"What are you still doing here?" asked his mother as she walked pass his room.

He was getting dressed and it was 9AM.

She came to his door and leaned against the frame. "You're usually out of here like a bullet in the early morning."

Jax put on his shoes and began to tie them. "I told you last week we have today off, remember? There's some sort of teacher conference or some kind of shit like that. No school today."

She looked in deep thought. "Yeah, I think I heard you say something like that. Well, you wanna go with me to Teller-Morrow? I'm preparing the dinner feast for Otto."

Jax frowned. "That's today? I thought he wasn't getting out til tomorrow."

Big Otto was one of the oldest members in the MC. He wasn't an original, but had been part of the club for almost as long. Since Jax could remember, Otto was the member who spent most of the time in prison. He wondered how long Otto would keep out of prison this time.

"No, he's out at noon today. I'm meeting Luann. We could always use the extra pair of hands."

Jax shook his head. "Naw. I'll for sure come over for the gathering later on though. I'm sure they're gonna have Church?"

His mom nodded. "Yeah. The party starts later at night. I'm betting following Church, Otto is gonna wanna go home and give Luann his undivided attention."

Jax could only imagine. Otto had been sentenced to nine months this last time. That long without sex? Jax was finding it difficult without having sex this month alone. It wasn't so bad though. Since last week, he and Tara had taken it to the next level. They only fooled around: he used his fingers and she used her hand. It never went further than that. However, he knew it was only a matter of time.

With that thought, he was grateful once again that today they had it completely free to spend it together. Her father was working and they didn't have school. They had her house entirely to themselves for the entire day. Her father had taken an extra shift and wouldn't be getting home until at least 5.

"You know you're up for being sponsored as a Prospect soon," it came off as a warning. "You need to always be there for the Club. Whatever it is that they need. Just because you're the son of a co-founder, it shouldn't mean things will be easier for you. It just further pushes you to prove to them you belong."

He had heard this already. Had been hearing it since he was ten. His father, John Teller, had been President since its formation in the late 60s. He had ruled in that throne for almost thirty years. Jax was to inherit the crown and be the next great leader of SAMCRO. The future of the club depended on him, with Ope as his VP. He had never _not_ wanted the role, but there were times where he didn't want to think about it either. There were times he just wanted to be a kid and not have any responsibilities and this was one of those times. He wished his mother understood, but because his mother was Gemma Madock Teller, he knew the word 'understanding' was not in her vocabulary.

Jax grabbed his sweater and put it on. "Mom, there's not a single Sons member who wouldn't sponsor me. I've shown I belong in this club since I was eight years old."

It was true. The first time he did something big for the club had been when he helped his father and Piney get into a secured building. He and Opie had distracted the security guards as both their fathers broke in. When their fathers had almost gotten caught, Jax had grabbed a nearby metal bar and hit the guard as hard as he could. The guard had come to his knees, but to make sure he wouldn't go after Jax's father, Jax had hit him over the head.

Jax fled with his father safely. He didn't have a chance to think about what he had done until he had been tucked in bed that night. Nothing but nightmares followed him that entire week. Questions of what had become of the security guard haunted him for nights. He prayed the man had lived, but something inside of him knew better. There had been so much blood. Too much of it.

The members of the club praised him though, treated him like some sort of hero. It was only Opie who saw how upset Jax had been over the experience. They never spoke of it, but Opie knew.

More incidents occurred. More sacrifices and actions Jax took for the sake of his father—the club. Everyone knew. There was nothing Jax wouldn't do or sacrifice for the SAMCRO. His mother worrying about not being sponsored on his 17th birthday was idiotic thinking.

Apparently Clay had heard the entire conversation, because he was now at Jax's mother side. "Kid has a point, baby. He's done more than any Prospect ever has. I can only imagine what he'll do once he gets sponsored."

"Only the more reason to continue showing it," his mother said. "Jax needs to raise the bar. He needs to be the prime example. He needs to always be present at every function—no matter how little or big it is."

Jax just shook his head. He was getting sick of this conversation. He grabbed his keys and walked out of his room.

"Where are you headed to?" asked his mother and he saw him getting to the front door.

He suddenly knew why she had wanted him to go with her to TM and spend his free day with her. He should have figured.

"Where are you going?" she asked again.

He honestly didn't know why she asked. She knew the answer. It was always the same answer. "Where do you _think_, Mom?"

She raised a warning finger at him. "Watch it." She walked over to him.

He let out a sigh. "I just don't see why you're asking a question you already know the answer to. You _know_ where I'm going."

She opened her mouth to say something.

He raised his hand and stopped her. He already heard it. He'd been hearing it for weeks now. "I know you don't approve, Mom. You've voiced that opinion pretty damn loud already."

"Watch the way you talk to your mother, son," Clay said with a stern voice. He gave Jax a warning look.

Jax's emotions were beginning to boil. "I just don't get why she's so against this. I'm 16! I can make my own decisions. If I'm supposed to be this great leader in the near future, shouldn't it be _my_ call who I want my old lady to be? You were Dad's old lady at 18, Mom. And you got knocked up immediately after."

"It was a different time. Don't compare," his mother defended herself. "And you're much too young to be talking about old ladies—especially with Tara. Believe me, she looks incapable of handling it."

Jax was more than irritated now. "You've been following her?"

His mother didn't look at all ashamed. "So what if I have? You're my son. A mother has a right to know where her son is putting his dick in."

Jax shook his head in frustration. "Back off, Mom. I'm telling you."

"Or what?" she challenged. "You seem to forget, Jackson, that you are _legally_ still a minor. I'm still your mother. If I say you can't see this girl, then you can't see her."

He wanted to shout at her. He wanted to tell her to mind her own damn business, but he was afraid that if he let out another word to her then he was going to blow up.

He opened the door and walked out.

"Jax!" his mother called out to him. "Jax!"

He got into his bike and drove out, frustrated.

He hated the hypocrisy of it all. He was old enough at age 6 to start shooting guns, at age 8 he was old enough to possibly kill someone, at 10 he was old enough to have his own dirt bike, he was old enough at age 12 to start smoking weed, at age 14 he was old enough to start drinking beer, and at age 15 he was old enough to start having sex. Yet, at 16 he wasn't allowed to have a girlfriend? His mom was completely something else.

He was a block away from Tara's block and he pulled to the side and parked his bike at his regular spot. He always took precautions. He didn't want to be caught by Tara's dad one of these days.

As he made his way to her house, he did his best to calm down.

He came to her door and knocked. She answered it three seconds later.

At the sight of her, he grew a little calm.

"Hi," she greeted him with a beaming smile.

He came inside her house. "Hey."

She closed the door and he leaned over and kissed her.

Even though things had gotten hotter between them, Tara still didn't feel comfortable with PDAs. When they were in school, she still wanted distance. He still flirted with blondes because that's who he was. He didn't spend as much time flirting with them, though.

When he pulled away, she placed a hand softly on his cheek. She looked up at him with a bit of concern on her face. "What's the matter?"

He frowned, not understanding.

She was getting good at reading him and knowing his questions before asking them verbally. "You had a look when I looked into the peephole," she explained. "Is everything ok?"

Jax let out a sigh. He walked over to her couch. "My mom, as usual." He took a seat and she sat next to him as he explained his morning to her.

"I know it shouldn't bother me that she doesn't want us to be together, but it just…" He didn't know how to explain it.

She held his hand. "It just does," she said with understanding. "I get the same feeling with all the looks I get in school. All the threats and harassment don't mean anything. But yet they do." She placed her other hand on his face and gave him a loving look.

She hadn't said it again since last week. She hadn't told him she loved him again, but he knew she wanted to talk about it—there was just never a perfect time. Every time they had any alone time they would start making out and conversations between them became nonexistent.

"We just have to ask ourselves if it's worth it. I don't want you to be with me with doubts in your head. If you don't think this can work, then let me know." She wasn't pleading or looked sad at saying this to him. She had a serious look on her face and looked as though she would accept any response he would give her.

Jax looked at her as he had so many times before. They shared a moment of conversation without saying anything. He knew what he wanted. Her.

He reached over and pulled her to him. He kissed her fully on the mouth, showing her what he felt about her in that kiss.

Tara got the message. As she continued to kiss him, she climbed on top of his lap and dragged her fingers through his hair.

He kissed her deeper, with more feeling.

And just like every time they kissed, things turned very hot and very fast. Her hands were all over his back and tugging at his sweater. His hands were inside her blouse and kneading her breast. He needed to get them to her bed before things got heavier.

He sat up, picking her up as well. Her legs tide tight around his waist and her arms hung around his neck, pulling herself closer to him.

He took them both over to her room, closing and locking the door behind them. He gently placed her on the bed.

She tugged at his sweater again and let out a groan of frustration.

He smiled at this. "Patience." He pulled back a little to pull off his sweater and shirt.

She impatiently reached over and pulled him back to her, planting more kisses.

He loved when she got like this. Loved when she got aggressive and took charge of things. He reached over to the hem of her blouse and pulled it off. And as he started kissing her again, he unclasped her bra.

She reached over to his belt and took it off, then quickly unbuttoned his pants.

He brought his mouth down to her neck and gently nibbled every inch he could get to.

She pulled his pants down and let out a moan of pleasure. "You drive me crazy," she breathed out.

"I haven't even started, babe," he promised as he turned his lips to her breasts. He moved his legs out of his pants and took off his shoes using his feet.

She gasped and allowed herself to fall into the bed.

He took off his socks using his toes and climbed over her. He planted kisses on her stomach, her hips, her chest, her arms. Every inch he could reach. He loved exploring her. Loved getting to learn how every corner of her tasted. He still hadn't gotten a taste of a particular area, but he knew he would with time. He still wanted to take things slow.

She squirmed with every peck he placed on her. She dug her nails into his skin from the pleasure he gave her.

After several minutes of showing plenty of attention to her breasts, she looked ready to combust. But he didn't want her to cum just yet. He tugged her jeans and panties off her. Her shoes and socks followed. He planted kisses all along her legs and he worked his way up. He did this for several reasons. First, he wanted to continue to explore her. Second, he wanted to see where her most sensitive spot was. He had learned this from having sex with all those women. There was one spot that drove a girl crazy. They were always in different spots though. He wanted to know where Tara's was. And third, he wanted to see if she was ready for him to mouth fuck her.

He was coming closer to her and he kept his eyes locked on her face. He paid close attention to her body to see if it tensed up or not.

And as he got within a few inches from her, she firmly tensed up. She let out a gasp. It wasn't a gasp of anticipation or pleasure, but of fear. He knew the answer. He avoided the area and continued going up to her stomach. She immediately relaxed again and came back to feeling pleasure.

As his lips came to one of her nipples, his fingers went to her clit and began massaging it.

She began to writhe underneath him. God, he loved seeing her this way. "Jax," she gasped out.

His fingers entered her slowly and set up a pace.

Tara let out a groan. "Baby."

He loved hearing her call him that. It was full of pleasure and love. He didn't think there was another word out there in the world she could say that he could love more.

His teeth grazed at her nipple as his fingers picked up the pace.

Her fingers went to his back and began to break into his skin. He was sure blood was spilling out, but he didn't care. He didn't feel any sort of pain.

His lips trailed up her neck and came to her ear. He nibbled it and went a little faster with his fingers.

A stronger and louder gasp came out of her. This time, he felt pain in his back but he ignored it. The pain was worth it, just to hear and feel her this way.

"Baby!" She was uncontrollable, twisting and squirming every which way. She wasn't fully letting go, though.

He placed his thumb on her clit and rubbed and pinched, determined to bring her to her climax already. He inserted a third finger and curled them up towards her stomach. He felt her g-spot, but didn't get too close to it. He knew she wasn't ready for that yet.

She still didn't let go.

He had one last thing to result to. He knew exactly what could break her when his fingers couldn't do it. He gave her ear a lick and then with the back of his throat, he said, "Cum for me baby."

That did it. She arched her back high. "Ahhhhhh!" Juice came out of her as she rode her fingers and allowed the climax to take all over her. Jax had never seen something so hot.

He didn't peg her to be one for dirty talk, but he was grateful he had discovered it so early on.

She was breathing heavily and he let her rest a bit. He reached over to the side of her bed and found some tissue. He cleaned his hand as she came down from her wave of bliss.

After a few minutes, she turned to him with a smile.

He leaned over and kissed her.

She rolled on top of him and with her naked pussy, she began to hump his stomach. She kissed his neck as she worked herself out. She was getting horny again.

Jax didn't resist. He reached over to her ass and helped her set a pace.

She sat up and became a little wilder, gasping out her pleasure.

Jax had a hard-rock six-pack and he knew must be feeling good in Tara's pussy at the moment, but he wanted her pussy somewhere else.

Tara's thoughts matched his own. She erotically looked down at him as she moved her hips against his abs. "Do you have a condom?"

Jax looked up at her questioningly. "You sure?"

Tara smiled widely. "Yes. I don't think I can stand it anymore." And to prove it, she rode him harder.

Jax didn't need to be told again. Luckily, his pants were within arm's reach. He got into his wallet and took out a condom.

She took it from him and moved away from his abs. She took his dick and began to massage it.

Jax let out a heavy groan. He loved the feel of her hands on him. Loved the way she perfectly gripped it. She rubbed his head and he almost came undone. His head had never been that sensitive before, but with Tara he couldn't seem to almost cum whenever she touched him there.

For a good minute or two she gave him a good hand-job. She didn't do it fast enough to give him a climax, but did enough to drive him crazy.

Finally, she unwrapped the condom and placed it on him.

Jax looked up at her, wanting to make sure she was sure of this.

She didn't hold any fear or hesitation. She smiled down at him and grabbed him, moving him into her. Once he entered her, he felt the tightness of her. He took a deep breath, fearing he might just cum right then. He closed his eyes and tried to control himself.

She moved down a little more, probably taking in four inches of him, and let out a gasp. She leaned down and raked her nails into his chest, taking in a deep breath. "You're big."

He knew this. Just like every other teenage boy in the world, he had measured himself. At full erection he was a good seven and a half inches and he was sure that in the next couple of years, he would grow another inch. The women he had slept with had complimented his size. They were able to take him without a problem. They were already loose. He knew he was only Tara's second sexual partner; she wasn't as experienced and might not be able to fully take him.

Jax reached over and soothed her face with one hand and the other went to her back, massaging her. He pulled her down and gave her a kiss. "Let's just go slow."

She nodded and moved her forward two inches, then moved back to take in those two inches again. She did this for a while as he planted kisses along her face.

After a couple of minutes of this routine, she took in two more inches of him.

He was surprised she was in six inches. She was so fucking tight. He kept breathing in and out a lot to make sure he lasted longer than her.

A groan escaped her lips. "Do you have to be this thick too?" She moved her hips a little more, quickly adjusting to his size. He felt her getting wetter too.

He let out a chuckle. "Better to fuck you with, baby." He moved his hips up, pushing in another inch inside of her.

"Gahh!" she moved up quickly from him, but then came back down. She moved back and forth in him, taking in between five to seven inches every time she did it. On her knees, she was able to create a good rhythm. Her hips rolled from side to side; she was trying to find the perfect spot.

He couldn't take it anymore. She had called the shots for far too long. He sat up and rolled them over, making her gasp in surprise by the movement.

He came above her and began to move inside of her.

She liked it; she squirmed and moved with him.

He set the pace a little faster and watched her boobs move up and down, making him drive into her a little faster. He wasn't too forceful though.

Tara arched her back and took a hold of the sheets below her. "Shit!" He loved hearing her cuss. It was so out of character for her.

It turned him more on and he pushed more inside of her.

She wrapped her legs around his waist and moved her hips faster.

He reached down and with his arm, brought her hips more up by wrapping it around her waist.

She let out the loudest gasp he had heard from her. She reached behind her and took a hold of the bars as she arched her hips higher against his.

He knew he hit the spot. Using his other arm, he wrapped it around her waist as well and drove into her.

He could hear the headboard banging loudly and frantically against the wall. He reached down and took a nipple into his mouth.

She let go of the bars behind her and reached out to wrap her arms around his neck, pulling him closer to her chest. "Jax." It sounded like a prayer.

He looked up at her and saw the passion spread across her face. God, she was beautiful. He sat up and bought her body up to sit on top of him.

This new angle allowed him to get deeper into her. She grunted and moved her hips wildly against his; again she was using her knees to go up and down. "Jax! Please! Please!" She clawed his back.

He knew what she wanted, because he wanted it too. With both arms wrapped around her waist, he brought her down with force.

"Ahhh!" She matched his forces.

He grunted, loving to hear her scream. "Come on, baby. Come on." He got deeper in her.

"Yes! Yessss." She was almost there. So close.

He reached down between them, found her clit and rubbed it with quickness and force.

This completely undid her. She fell into pieces and shouted out loudly.

At hearing her screams, Jax came undone as well.

Tara's entire body was shaking frenziedly as was his.

For several minutes, Jax was not sure how long, the two stayed still and tried to make their way back down to earth.

For Jax, it had been one of the best experiences he had ever had. He had come close to seeing stars during that orgasm.

Tara felt like rubber under his touch. She was collapsed on top of him and didn't move at all. He could hear her breathing, so he knew she was still alive.

He finally laid them both down on the bed and slowly pulled out of her.

Tara's body gave a jolt at this, a small orgasm occurring at just this act. She was sensitive.

Jax took off the condom and threw it at a trashcan near him. He turned over to Tara and wrapped his arm around her stomach. "I don't think I can move my legs."

This brought out laughter from her. She turned her head towards his chest and laid it there, planting kisses.

A few more minutes went by without any words being said.

It was Tara who broke the silence. She looked up at him with that loving look in her eyes. She placed her fingers against his chin. "Do you love me?" she asked boldly.

He was shocked at the question. He didn't know how to react.

She continued to look up at him. "It's a simple question, Jax."

He let out a sigh. What he felt about her, was more than words could describe. They had only known each other almost three months, yet his feelings for her had become so heavy and complicated. "It's not a simple answer, babe. What I feel for you is a lot stronger than that. I can't describe it."

She smiled and placed both hands lovingly on his face. "I know what you mean." She reached over and kissed him lovingly.

Within a minute, she was fast asleep on his chest. He closed his eyes and settled on taking a nap with her as well. He knew once awake, they would be at it again. He was going to need all the rest he could get.

/

/

SNAPSHOT 5

~TARA~

He had picked her up that Monday morning, a new kind of smile spread across his face.

Tara didn't know she could feel this kind of happy. With every day that passed and she spent more time with Jax, things—her life—started to look brighter. And it wasn't just because they were now having sex, or were very open with one another, or he was able to make her laugh so easily, or because there was something about the way he held her in his arms that made her feel safe. It was because of all of those things. Jax knew her. Truly knew her as no one ever had before. And she in turn knew him.

She doubted whether people noticed the way he bit his lower lip whenever he wanted to say something, but held it back for whatever reason. She didn't think people knew how intelligent he was. They both shared such deep and lungful conversations about books and world issues and religion and politics. She didn't ever see Jax pick up a book or newspaper, but he knew things naturally. She loved the way he walked, with determination and slickness—it spoke volumes about him. It said he knew who he was and was comfortable with it. She loved the way he cocked his head to the side whenever he would tease her about something. She loved the way his eyebrows raised whenever she did something that shocked him. She adored the way his jaw tightened when he was angry. She knew the amount of creases his forehead got when he was worried or concerned or bothered.

As they drove to school on his bike, she knew today things were going to change. She was no longer the new girl that the biker was interested in. She was no longer going to be known as the quiet, lonely, brainy girl. Today marked the day of change. And that was because from now on, she and Jax were a pair. They were a couple—one to be reckoned with.

They arrived to school close to 8 because Tara wanted to stop by Georgette's to get some coffee and breakfast for the two of them. The idea had been to buy them and have breakfast at school, but decided to hang out at Georgette's for a little while longer.

When Jax parked his bike, Tara could feel all eyes were on them.

Tara tried to ignore them. She took off the helmet and handed it to him.

He took it and plated it on the handles. He smiled at her. "I'm gonna have to buy another one. One that will fit you better."

"You don't have to," she began to say. She didn't want to be an inconvenience.

He took her head and plated a kiss on her forehead. "I'd rather be safe than sorry. This head is too important for me. I gotta take care of it."

His worry for her made her smile. She wrapped her arms around his broad back. "I wanna take care of you, too."

He nuzzled his nose with hers. "You do, babe."

She reached up and gave his nose a kiss. "I love you."

He kissed her nose back. His bright blue eyes looking deep into hers. "_I_ love _you_."

The sudden presence of a particularly annoying redhead shattered the lovely moment for them.

"Do my eyes deceive me? Jackson Teller and Tara Knowles? This cannot be," teased Rachel as she smiled at both her friends.

Tara let out a groan and turned to her friend. "Shouldn't you be off making out with some blonde somewhere...away? Not here."

Jax hugged Tara from behind. "I think she's getting payback."

Tara saw Jax and Rachel exchange a look.

"What am I missing?" she asked as she questioned the secret stare of Jax and Rachel.

Jax gave Tara's head a kiss. "I'll tell you later," he promised.

The three began to walk towards the main building. Jax and Tara were holding hands and Tara could hear all of the whispers.

It was hard to ignore them when they were so loud.

Jax must have felt her getting uncomfortable by the looks and attention. "It'll die down soon, I promise."

She stared up at him, giving him a look of doubt.

He just smiled.

As they came to the building, Jax opened the door for the two girls. The three of them made their way over to Tara's first class.

Rachel dismissed herself and left.

"What are you gonna want for lunch? Wanna go to Yoyo's?" Jax asked.

She figured that's what he thought she wanted. Leaving campus for lunch would allow her to not feel the stares.

She was about to say yes to him when she caught sight of a group of girls staring deadly at her. It was the same group of girls who had cornered her in the bathroom the other week.

Anger came over Tara at the memory. She didn't think she could ever forget. Then, a new kind of feeling came over her as she felt Jax coming closer to her. She needed to use this opportunity. She needed to show these girls that she wouldn't be easily scared away from being with Jax.

Tara turned her attention to Jax. He had his arm against the wall and leaning down at her. He didn't seem to be paying attention to looks, only was focused on her.

She, however, was torn. Half of her was focused on those baby blues of his and getting lost in them and the other half of her was thinking of the three slutty blondes.

Tara reached up and pulled Jax down to her. He came down willingly, immediately giving in to her kiss. As he kissed her deeply and lovingly, she felt more stares on them. She heard the thoughts going on. She opened her eyes slightly and saw the shock in the three blondes. Wickedly she smiled and wrapped her arms possessively around Jax.

He was hers.

* * *

**AN**: As written in the prologue, a kiss between Tara and Jax is never just a kiss. I don't mean to get all girly, but I believe every kiss on the show that is shared between them _means_ something, that's why they don't kiss in every single scene.

Also, I hope you caught on to the irony and mirror scenes that filled these snapshots… :D

By writing this chapter, we now get to see more of that craziness that comes out of Tara while she's with Jax and is inside of this town. As brought up in the prologue, Tara was out of control and crazy by a mixture of bad things: her baggage, the town, and Jax. At this point in time in the chapter, Tara still hasn't been able to get over her past and feelings and she isn't fully happy with the town. In the chapters that come after this, we'll get to see more of that craziness come out of Tara.

REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW! :D

**DATE**: 1/20/13


	6. Stigmatized

**CHAPTER ****5**: "Stigmatized" by The Calling (POORLY titled before. This song fits the chapter so much better)

**SUMMARY**: The friends go to Fun Town…and Tara gets a bit of a taste of what it is to be an 'Old Lady'…

**NOTE: **This might be one of the last few chapters you'll be seeing for a while. School starts on Monday… I'll be updating on a bi-weekly basis hopefully. Sorry!

**DISCLAIMER**: If I were Kurt Sutter (the owner of EVERYTHING SOA) I would have Sons be airing at this time, NOT writing fanfiction…

**TIME PERIOD**: April '95 – Spring Break

* * *

~JAX~

Once Jax saw Ope leave the clubhouse, he put down his smoke. "The girls ready?"

The two of them were taking Tara and Donna to the local carnival that came to town a few times a year. The girls had expressed their desire to go. The carnival was small and, to Jax's eyes, stupid but it was something new to do in Charming.

Most of his dates with Tara in the last six months since they had started going out, consisted of going to the park, Georgette's, or her bedroom. He preferred her bedroom, but she insisted on wanting to do something different. He didn't mind giving in, mainly because the carnival gave him an idea.

Ope nodded. "Yeah. Tara just got to Donna's."

"Let's go," Jax walked over to his bike, which was parked next to Ope's.

Both got into their bikes, more than ready to go.

Before they could leave, though, Chibs came out of the clubhouse. "Hey, where the hell do the two of ya think ya're goin'?"

"Fun Town," Jax answered.

Chibs looked over at Opie and gave him a look. "Did you forget you have a job to do?"

"That's why we're going there. They got plenty of fireworks. I'm gonna create a distraction while Jax snatches them," Opie said. He sent his best friend a teasing look. "He's the better thief out of the two of us."

Chibs let out a sigh and looked at both boys, he wasn't completely convinced. "Ya forget I was a horny teenage boy myself, ya know? I know the real reason ya goin' there."

Jax smiled. "Two birds with one stone, man. We get the fireworks give the old ladies a nice date. It's a win-win."

"Donna may be an old lady already, but ya still need to get patched." Chibs said to Jax, half joking.

Jax knew Chibs didn't look at him as if he wasn't part of the Club. He may not be officially a member, but he might as well be.

Chibs turned to Ope. "I'm not sure taking the girls with ya is a good idea, brother. They might get caught."

The comment was directed at Opie, but it was Jax who answered. "Come on, Chibs. You know we'll be careful. We hardly have time with our girls. With Opie just becoming a member, he almost has no free time with Donna. And me? I'm up for being sponsored as Prospect in a month. Pretty soon, _I'm _gonna be the slave of the Club. I'm hardly gonna be able to see Tara." This was all true. Jax knew how hard Prospects had it and what little freedom they were given. And because Jax was a Teller, he was sure the Club was going to put him through hell. He wasn't sure after next month how much time he would be able to spend with Tara, so he wanted to savor every time he could with her.

Chibs looked to think for a minute. "Fun Town have plenty of fireworks?"

Opie nodded. "The ones we need, yes. I could cook up some explosives of my own, but Clay specified he doesn't want that kind of distraction. I could make the fireworks myself too, but that'll take time. Since everything is so last minute, Fun Town is our best choice."

Chibs let out a sigh. He gave Jax and Ope a warning point of the finger. "Don't let me down. Bring those fireworks over to those woods by midnight. If ya don't, Clay's gunna have my head…and I'll be sure to bring the two of ya down with me," Chibs warned.

Ope gave Chibs a nod. "Yes, Mr. Sitting President." He gave the Scottish man a salute and turned on his bike.

Jax saw Chibs still a looked a little worried. Because most of the members were New York taking care of some things, Chibs had been left in charge. He had been with SAMCRO for almost a year now, transferring from SAMBEL—a Sons charter based in Belfast. Jax could feel the stress Chibs was under.

He patted the Scot in the back. "It'll all work out, man. Ope won't let you down. And he has me." With that, both teenagers drove out of TM.

They got to Donna's house in less than five minutes and both girls were walking out the front door of Donna's house as the guys parked their bikes.

Tara had once mentioned to Jax that she had come to learn the sound of his bike from two blocks away. He couldn't seem but be turned on by this knowledge.

As Tara made her way to Jax, she about made him to a double take. She was wearing some jeans that fit nicely into her curves, a white-sleeve blouse that came a little low and showed off her cleavage, and some high-heeled boots that somehow boosted her ass. She had a little more make-up than she usually did and some dangling earrings. Jax knew there was nothing she could do that could ever make her less than beautiful.

He got off his bike and met her halfway.

She smiled up at him and wrapped her arms around him. "Hi."

He reached down and gave her a kiss. "Hey."

She placed her forehead lovingly against his. "I missed you today," she said in a low whisper.

"I did too," he confessed.

Tara had started taking on babysitting jobs for a few families over the last couple of months. She had claimed she needed to start saving money, just in case Financial Aid wasn't able to fully cover her next semester. She was going to receive her high school diploma in a little over a month and become a full-time student at Delta by this August. He was more than proud of her.

"Will you be able to spend the night tonight?" she asked, her voice still low enough for only Jax to hear.

Tara's father still had no knowledge of Jax and Tara being an item. Jax still hadn't been properly introduced to her father and Tara wanted it that way. And even though Jax wanted to be up front about it to her father, he knew he had no room to argue with Tara. He himself hadn't been wanting to introduce Tara to his mother. He knew, in time, the two would _have _to meet, but he was going to postpone it as much as possible.

"You can count on it," he said in response to her question.

She beamed and kissed him.

He took her hand and they began to head over to his bike. He then noticed something. "Where's your jacket?"

She shook her head. "It's not gonna be too cold. I'll be fine."

He lifted one eyebrow, disapproving.

She rolled her eyes. "I won't get cold, _Dad_."

He knew she hated it when he would start to lecture her about a decision of hers. He understood it, so he didn't press the matter. "Fine." He grabbed her helmet and handed it to her as he put on his own.

Ope and Donna were ready to go. "Donna's gotta be back by 10," Ope told Jax, giving him a look.

Jax understood. That meant that the fireworks would have to settled until then.

"I gotta be home by 10 as well," Tara said behind Jax. Then, in a voice only Jax could hear, she added, "He actually went out with a couple of buddies before I left. He said he would be back by 10. If I'm not there before then, I'm not sure what might happen."

He looked at her and gave her an assuring look. "I'll get you home on time. Promise."

Tara nodded and settled in her seat, wrapping her arms around Jax.

Ope turned his bike and lead the way, Jax coming up behind him.

Along the ride, Jax could feel something strange with his bike. It wasn't making a noise, but he could feel it.

They got to Fun Town in about ten minutes.

Ope took Donna's hand as they made their way into the carnival. "See you guys in a while." He gave Jax a look.

Jax knew what it was about. Opie was going to be in charge in finding the perfect moment to steal those fireworks. He would give Jax a single when the time came.

"We'll catch up in a bit," Jax said, returning a look to Ope. Jax wanted to stay behind to look at his bike, trying to see what he could possibly be feeling wrong with it.

"Anything?" asked Tara.

Jax shook his head. "Not that I can see. Hopefully, it's nothing serious." He wrapped his arm around Tara. "I'll worry about it later. Let's go play."

They got themselves some tickets and looked around, seeing what they wanted to do first: eat, play games, or get on the rides.

They decided the rides looked more interesting and rode every one of them, at least twice. Tara seemed to prefer the safer ones, but Jax talked her into getting on Spaceship and Octopus at least three times.

After Tara confessed she felt she would puke if they got in another ride, they decided to try out the games. For a few minutes they looked around, trying to find one.

"How about that one?" Tara asked as she pointed towards a game that involved using a riffle.

"Cake," he said as he led the way.

"Let's see first before you say anything, hotshot," she said in a teasing voice.

Only two people could be playing at the same time and currently the two were taken up. Jax and Tara waited.

"Hey, Tara," greeted a voice Jax knew all too well and hated.

Jax turned and found Hale leaning down over Tara and planting a kiss on Tara's cheek. She gave him a hug in return. "Hi, David. You been here long?"

Hale nodded. "Yeah. About to call it a night."

Tara and Hale spoke quite often in school and there were a few times that they hung out outside of school. Jax trusted Tara and he knew Hale enough to know that now that Jax and Tara were official, Hale wouldn't put a move on Tara. Hale was too righteous to do such a thing. However, that still didn't mean Hale's presence and crush on Tara didn't bother Jax any.

Jax leaned over closer to his girlfriend and wrapped his arm around Tara. "You best be back in bed then, Hale. Don't want Mommy getting angry with you for being late."

Tara sent him a death stare. "Jax."

Hale didn't take too personal what Jax said, though. He never did. "Glad to see the manners haven't improved much, Jax. Now that you're actually going out with someone decent, I thought at least a little bit of that would rub off on you."

Jax smirked. Just like Jax never missed an opportunity to poke fun of Hale's Captain American ways, Hale never let a moment slide to remind Jax how much of a loser he was.

"Guess I'm just too far gone for saving," he told Hale as he hugged Tara closer.

She pushed away a bit. He knew she hated when he and Hale would react this way. Jax couldn't help it though. And he didn't want to either. This was just the way Hale and he had been since childhood.

"Too bad for Tara." Hale turned his attention back to Tara. "We still on for Thursday?"

Tara nodded. "Of course."

Jax frowned at this. He didn't know of the two of them meeting up.

Hale gave her a kiss on the cheek and left.

Jax looked down at her, puzzled and a bit annoyed.

She must have sensed it. Without looking up at him, she crossed her arms. "I told you about a group of us going to Lodi and bowling on Thursday."

Jax thought back; _had she_?

"I told you this last week. I invited you and your response was that only girls bowl."

He had remembered that conversation. "You never said Hale was going," he said to his defense.

"How does that change anything? I said it would be a group of us," Tara argued. "Do I have to name every person?"

"Yes," he said automatically.

"Why?" she asked in disbelief.

"So, I know who you're with."

She gave him a stone-cold look. "I'm sorry; I _missed_ the part where you adopted me. Should I also tell you when I'm going to the bathroom so you can go in there with me?"

He hated when she got into these moods. Sometimes she would argue just to argue. "You're being ridiculous."

"_I'm_ being ridiculous? You're the one who wants to know whenever I'm hanging out with guys. You don't mind nor care when I'm with Rachel or Donna or any other girl, but as soon as you know I'll be hanging out with David, you get into this possessive mood." Her high voice was gaining an audience. Jax doubted she noticed.

And currently, he didn't give a shit. "I don't get possessive."

"You didn't have your arm around me until _he_ showed up, Jax. Trust me, you get possessive."

Jax was about to shoot something back.

"What did we miss?" Donna's voice brought the couple out of their argument.

Tara didn't keep her eyes away from Jax. "Nothing, just having a discussion here on how my boyfriend doesn't seem to trust me."

Where the hell had that accusation come from? Jax thought. "When did I say that?"

'The fact that you don't want me around a guy without your prior knowledge says it all," she explained.

"How the hell does that mean I don't trust you?" he asked, trying his best to calm himself down.

"You don't see me asking you which blonde whore has tried getting into your pants every day, do you? When have I ever asked who decided to climb in the back seat of your bike that day?" Tara demanded.

Jax scoffed and shook his head. While it was true that not a day went by without a girl putting the moves on him, Tara had to know he would never do anything with them.

"You see? Never. And you want to know _why_ I don't ask?" she demanded.

"Because you know there's no threat. I'm with _you_, Tara. No one else," he said. "But that's not—"

"Then, why do _you _want to know the guys _I'm_ with?"

"Because guys are different, Tara. When a guy wants a girl, it's a lot more physical. If a girl wants me and gets physical, guess what? I can push her off, no problem. If a guy gets physical with you, there's a problem."

Tara rolled her eyes. "I can take care of myself, Jax."

Jax shook his head. A part of him wanted to call out Tara's naïve feminist ideas. That's not the way the world worked. Men and women were different—the way they were built, wired, and engineered.

"What?" she demanded because he wasn't saying anything.

"That's not the way it works, babe. Trust me." He thought to the many situations he had encountered. Thought of all the times men got physical and abused women. It would happen a lot in the outside bars of Charming. Men would get violent and women weren't able to defend themselves. It was a disgusting reality. Jax had come to know that it wouldn't be complete strangers to these women who would hurt them, but men who the women were close with. And Jax didn't want Tara to ever have to face such a situation. He would avoid it at whatever cost.

It might make him chauvinistic in Tara's eyes, but he didn't care. He wanted to know the guys she was with to make sure they weren't the type that would do any harm to her. It didn't have anything to do with trust. He knew Tara wouldn't ever cheat on him.

"You kids mind taking the scene somewhere else?" asked the man who was handling the game.

It was then Jax realized they had in fact caused a scene.

Tara immediately grew red with embarrassment. "We are so sorry," she said sincerely to the man. She turned to Jax and took his hand. "Maybe we should get something to eat?"

She was calm now. She was willing to let it go.

Jax nodded and led them towards the food court. He turned to Ope and Donna. "You two want anything?"

Donna and Ope both shook their heads.

"We'll be right back," Tara said to them.

When they got to the food courts, they didn't know what to get, so they settled on just popcorn and sodas.

They found a lonely table off to the side and sat there to enjoy their small meal. They stayed in silence for a while, both hesitant to say anything.

They didn't fight much, but on the rare occasions they did it wouldn't be about something small or insignificant. Both held different opinions on things. When it came to politics or government or religion, their disagreements were civil. However, the personal ones were what caused heat to rise between them. Tara had an almost feminist way of thinking and Jax had a more traditional one. He knew men took care of business. They handled everything on their own, with no help from authority or partners. If the woman faced a problem, it was the man's responsibility to take care of it. To be independent was the goal.

Tara's line of thinking was to be on an equal level. She too wanted to take care of things herself. She wanted to fix her own problems and not allow anyone in on them. Jax knew it was a combination of their generation and the fact that because of her father, Tara had no male figure to look up to and feel safe around. She had to become her own male hero.

They were different. Sometimes her ideas bugged him to no end. He found them ridiculous. But he couldn't help falling more in love with her due to her naïve ideas.

Tara was the one that broke their silence. "You thinking about dumping me for a clueless blonde?"

Jax looked up at her and found she was holding back her smile. It always came down to this after an argument. They would tease each other. He played along. "Where's the fun in that? She'd just agree with everything I say. Then there'd be no fights and no makeup sex would follow."

Tara chuckled. "You're a class act, Teller. I'm so lucky to have found me such a prince."

He leaned over and pulled her face to his. "You love me."

"God help me, I do," she said as she kissed him.

Their foreheads leaned against one another for a while. Their argument from earlier was quickly dissolving from their thoughts. Now, thoughts of how lucky they each were to have found one another clouded their brains.

Jax opened his eyes, finding Tara's already opened and looking at him lovingly. He reached over and took her hand in his. He brought it to his lips and kissed it. "I love you."

She caressed his face. "I know."

He kissed her lips one more time and fell back onto his chair, still holding her hand in his.

"How was your morning?" she asked.

They hadn't spoken about their day yet. Mainly because they were enjoying one another's company. It hadn't been a good morning for Jax, so he hadn't wanted the conversation to go there at all. Jax knew Tara had picked up on it, but was waiting until they were completely alone to bring it up.

Jax rubbed Tara's knuckles with his thumb. "My mom and I went at it again."

It seemed to be a ritual every morning now. He wouldn't be up for more than ten minutes from bed when she would say something that would set him off. It usually had to be about Tara.

"What was it about this time?" Tara asked.

He looked up at her and gave her a look. "Guess."

Tara let out a sigh. "She's never going to like me, is she?"

He shook his head. "It don't matter. She's a crazy bitch."

"Jackson," Tara said, disapprovingly. "She's still your mother."

He really didn't care. Lately, his mother was too often getting under his skin. "She's getting worse with every day, Tara. I'm serious. I feel like breaking something every time she opens her mouth."

Tara took a breath. "You could always get emancipated, you know," Tara offered. "If things are really that bad, you can take all of this to the court and just divorce her."

Jax thought out of this for a moment, but then brushed it off. "Naw. I can handle my mom. Just one more year. I can start renting out the apartment room at the clubhouse as soon as I turn 18. " Clay had told him already. He knew how bad things were between Jax and his mother. Jax needed distance from her. Plus, Jax was sure that Clay also wanted Jax out of that household for personal reasons.

"Well, in case things do get worse, let me know. I can do some more research for you." She reached up and lightly touched his face.

Everything she said made him smile. He pulled up her hand again and kissed her there. "Thank you."

She smiled at him.

Jax turned around and found Donna playing a game while Ope stood beside her. Opie made a motion to Jax. The sign. Time for work.

Jax got up from his seat. "Hey, I gotta make a call to TM; see if someone can come over to check on my bike real quick. I don't want it dying on us while I'm taking you home."

She nodded. "Ok."

He leaned over and kissed her. "It shouldn't take me so long to find a phone. I'll come find you."

"I'll go with," said Ope. He leaned over and gave Donna a kiss on the head. "We'll be right back, baby."

"Ok," said Donna as she went back to playing her game.

Tara walked next to her and joined in on the game.

Jax and Ope turned away from the girls and the two headed away.

It did make his stomach turn, lying to Tara. Or more like not telling her the whole truth. However, he knew he would also feel guilty if he told her the entire truth. Chibs was right, she wasn't an Old Lady because he wasn't yet SAMCRO. And he wasn't sure if she would be once he would become an official member. He loved Tara and knew she loved him back, but he wasn't sure if she would be ok with the life he lived.

Ope must have felt his thinking. "It'll get easier, man."

It had only been a few months since Ope had started wearing that cut. And as far as Jax knew, Ope didn't tell much to Donna. "Do you ever think you'll be able to tell Donna everything?"

Donna was a strong willed girl. But, he wasn't sure if she'd be able to handle the life of an Old Lady as well.

Ope shook his head. "Don't know. I love her; she's strong, but she's no Gemma."

Jax nodded in complete agreement. His mother had been the Queen for almost two decades and seemed to be born for the life of Old Lady. Jax couldn't imagine his mother being anything else than that: a mother. He was with Ope; he didn't know if Donna could don the suit.

They got close to where the fireworks were.

"Give me ten minutes, max," Ope said as he went around to where the security guards were.

Jax found a few trees to hide in. Thankfully, there was no moon out tonight, which made the night even darker.

/

~TARA~

"Where are the guys at?" asked Donna. She looked at her watch. "It's been ten minutes."

Tara shrugged her shoulders. "It shouldn't have taken them this long to find a phone." She looked around, trying to find a couple of tall figures wearing all biker gear. "Wanna go look for them?"

Donna looked around as well. "Yeah."

Tara and Donna made their way together around the carnival, searching.

It was going to be difficult, seeing that almost the entire town was there. Too many people.

Tara searched every angle.

"There," said Donna as she pointed towards the woods.

Tara squinted her eyes as she looked over to the dark woods. "I don't see anything."

"Far off. By the hill," explained Donna.

Tara then saw it. There was a tall figure carrying something and disappearing to the other side of the hill. Tara frowned. "Are you sure that was one of them?"

"That was Opie. I know his figure from a mile away." Donna started to head towards the woods.

Tara, trusting Donna's judgment, followed her friend.

The two left the crowd of people and began to make their way into the woods.

Suddenly, Tara regretted not bringing a sweater; it was getting kind of chilly.

The voice of the people began to fade into the background as they got deeper into the woods, following the figure.

Tara turned to her friend. "Should we call out to him? What is he doing all the way in here, anyway?"

Donna simply shook her head. "Let's just follow him and see where he goes."

Tara didn't argue and she and Donna continued following the figure. After a while, Tara saw how the figure actually was Ope. They were getting closer to him.

Then, Tara saw there was another figure coming from behind a hill.

"Hand me one, man," said the other figure.

Tara knew that voice. Jax. She started walking faster towards them, Donna right behind her.

The closer the two girls came, Jax might have heard them. He looked up. "Fuck."

Ope turned around, looking worried.

The two girls finally got to their boyfriends' sides.

"What are—?" began to ask Tara. Then, she saw the packages on Jax's arms. "What—?"

Donna turned over to Opie, her face looking a little more than bothered. "Opie what is this? Don't tell me you're doing Club business."

Ope stayed quiet.

Donna shook her head. "God, Opie. What are they having you do? It's only a few months in and this is your fifth theft—as far as I know."

"Donna, let's do this later," Ope insisted.

They began to argue a bit. Tara wasn't paying much attention. Her eyes were glued on Jax's arms. The word 'fireworks' was written on every one of them. The words of Donna repeating in her head. Theft. Is that what Jax was doing? Stealing? Why?

Jax made a step towards her. "Babe, I can explain."

Tara's eyebrows knit together. "You can explain why you're taking a box of fireworks into the woods, at night? What are you planning on doing with them?"

Jax seemed to be struggling of what to say. He shook his head. "I can't say."

Something seemed to hit Tara on the chest. "You don't trust me?"

With a straight look on his face, he answered, "No. I do."

"Then, tell me." She wanted to know. Everything that involved Jax, Tara wanted to know.

Again, Jax seemed torn. "We're doing something for the Club. The fireworks are needed. I don't know what for—that's the truth. Ope and I were told to get the fireworks and that's all."

Tara looked at the fireworks, then to the two bikers.

Ope was nodding his head and looking at a disappointed Donna.

"And you didn't bother asking what they needed it for?" Donna asked, looking angry now.

It was Jax who answered. "The Club wants something, we don't ask. We do."

"How are you able to do that?" Donna demanded. "They could be doing something awful with those! And it's _stealing_! How could you want to be involved in a club like that?!"

Jax turned to Donna, a look coming to his features that Tara had never seen before. "Donna, you know very well that it's because of SAMCRO that this town is safe. Everyone in this town knows it. Whatever SAMCRO needs or does, there has to be a good reason behind it and I trust them." He turned his attention to Tara, his look turning a little softer. "Our fathers founded the Sons and Opie and I are to inherit that legacy." He was looking between Tara and Donna now. "We want to be a part of what keeps this town safe. Sometimes it means getting your hands dirty, and? As long as it keeps the violence, death, and drugs out of our home, what does it matter what gets done?"

Tara knew very little of the Sons of Anarchy. Yes, she knew Jax's father had been a big part of it and was well respected by the people of Charming, but she hadn't seen how important the Club was to Jax. That's what she had seen on his face, it was passion. Not the passion she saw in him while they were having sex, but a different kid of it.

He hardly spoke of the Club, just of his father. And Tara didn't press questions. She wanted Jax to tell her on his own terms, not because she asked. Right now, as he was talking about the Club, the look was all there. He loved this Club. Wanted in it.

Before she could say anything, a pair of flashlights off in the distance distracted her.

"Shit!" Jax said. He and Ope went down the hill and set down the boxes in their arms.

Tara saw there were more boxes underneath there. The two teenagers used branches and dirt to cover them all up quickly.

Tara turned and saw there were two figures making their way over to the four of them. They had to be security. She knew they were far off into the distance to really see her and her friends.

Jax and Ope were at Tara and Donna's side once again.

"What the fuck do we do?" asked Ope.

Security finally noticed there was someone close by.

She turned to Donna and Ope. "Go! We got it." She didn't wait for her friends to listen to her. She reacted. Didn't think. She grabbed Jax and pulled him down to the ground.

He stared up at her, startled. "What are—?"

He didn't finish his question. She leaned down and kissed him fully on the lips. As she kissed him, she untucked her blouse from her pants and pulled it off. She took a hold of Jax's sweater and tugged at it.

He got the idea. He took off his sweater and t-shirt and pulled her back close again.

She let out an over exaggerated noise of passion when he started kissing her neck.

From the corner of her eye, she noticed the two guards getting closer. She didn't see Ope or Donna near by, they must have gotten out.

Jax reached underneath her bra and kneaded her breasts.

Tara almost forgot about the security right then. She raked her nails against Jax's back, this time letting out an honest noise of pleasure.

"Hey!" a voice said behind them.

Tara looked up, feigning to be startled.

Two security guys were holding up flashlights to them.

Tara dashed behind Jax and grabbed her blouse from the floor, covering herself.

Jax blocked her as much as he could. "Can't you give us a little privacy?" his voice sounded annoyed.

"Son, you're _in _a privately owned area. I recommend you take your girlfriend back to the carnival. It's dangerous," warned one of the guards.

Tara immediately put on her blouse.

Jax grabbed his t-shirt and jacket. "Didn't think anyone would be out here."

"We usually aren't, but there was a theft that occurred. We're looking around." One the guards used his flashlight to look over at the other side of the woods, the opposite direction of where Jax and Ope had stashed the fireworks.

"Did you say there was a robbery?" asked Tara, innocently.

One of the guards used his flashlight on her. "That's right."

"Well, while we came out here, I thought I saw a few figures go out that way," she said as she pointed to the direction the other guard had been looking towards. "They were laughing. Had something on their hands."

"How many of them were there?"

"At least four."

"And when was this?" asked one of the guards.

"About fifteen minutes ago," Tara lied.

The two guards exchanged a look. "You two better head back."

Jax nodded and put on his t-shirt and sweater. He took Tara by the hand. "Come on." He led her away as the two guards went over to where Tara had motioned.

As soon as they were in the clear, Jax wrapped his arm around her and pulled her for a kiss. "You're amazing."

Tara tried to hold back a smile. She was trying not to feel good about lying. It wasn't like her, but she knew if she hadn't Jax could have gotten into a lot of trouble. "I don't think so."

"Trust me, you are."

She looked up at him and searched his face, wanting to make sure he was in fact the guy she had fallen in love with. She wanted to know for a fact that he was a good guy, with a caring heart. "What are you really going to do with those fireworks, Jax?"

He stopped walking and gently looked at her. "I told you, I don't know. I'm not in the Club, so they can't give me full information."

"What about Ope? Does he know?" Tara asked, curiously. She had seen Donna's expression, she didn't know anything. Opie was lying to her, for the sake of the Club. Would that be her in Jax in a year? She knew he was up to be a Prospect shortly and would start doing things for the Club. He would have to start lying to her. She didn't how to take that.

Jax let out a sigh. "What Ope confides me with, I can't share. He sometimes tells things, at other times he doesn't. It all depends on how serious it is to the Club. It's all need-to-know." He placed a palm on her face.

Tara understood. There were things Jax had told her of his past that she knew he had never shared with anyone else before. He spoke of emotions and regrets and anger and Tara would take all of those things to the grave.

"Are you guys just going to leave the fireworks here?" she asked, curiously.

Jax shook his head. "Ope is gonna come back for them later, after he drops off Donna, and everyone has left. Less witnesses."

Tara nodded. It made sense.

Someone behind her poked her, she jumped and turned around.

Ope smiled down at her. "Thanks, Tara."

Tara shook her head. "I wouldn't have liked to see the two of you getting hauled away in handcuffs. Who would give me a ride back home?"

Ope and Jax both laughed a little. Donna, on the other hand, didn't seem to have let go of her anger. She was holding Ope's hand, so Tara figured Donna wasn't completely pissed off at him.

Ope let out a sigh. "Well, I better go take Donna home. I called TM and told them to come check out the bike for you."

"Thanks, bro," said Jax.

Tara looked down at her watch. It was 9:30. Hopefully, whoever was coming would get here quick.

/

~JAX~

"Wanna get on another ride?" Jax asked Tara with a teasing smile.

She gave him a look. "If you don't mind me barfing all over you."

He placed his hand upon her hip. "Let's go wait by the bike, then." He led them both in the parking lot.

As they got to his bike, he heard a couple of voices calling out his name. He turned and found two girls waving at them.

Jax couldn't stop the grin from spreading across his face. He gave them a nod. "Hey, girls."

They gave a giggle and began to walk over to him.

Suddenly, he felt an arm wrap around his waist. He looked down to see Tara's face looking as if she was about to throw the girls a good slap in the face if they got any closer.

"Move on," she said with a cold and threatening tone.

The girls all exchanged a look, not sure of what to do.

A feeling of chauvinistic pride built up inside Jax. He had noticed Tara was becoming bolder. At first, she wouldn't pay attention to the girls, but then she began to send them glares. This was the first time she sent out a warning. And it worked. The girls began to move away.

He smiled down at her and didn't say a word.

Once the girls were out of sight, Tara turned to him. The cold stare had not disappeared from her face. "You know, some might think you have no sense of respect for me."

That came out of nowhere. "What?"

"Flirting with other girls while your girlfriend is right next to you, makes you kind of a jerk."

Shit. He thought the arguments for the day were done. "It's just fun and games. I don't mean it."

She crossed her arms. "How would _you_ like it then if I went up to some random guy and started flirting with him?" she challenged.

The thought made Jax's blood boil. "I don't seek them out. That would be the difference."

"Fine, what if some guy were to come up to me and start flirting with me? You wouldn't think that was disrespectful to you?"

"One does. His name is Hale," Jax informed her.

She had a look of disbelief. "David does _not_ flirt."

"Maybe not well, but I assure you, he does."

"You cannot compare David to those airheads that randomly come to you and throw themselves all over you."

She really didn't see it, did she? He would have to point it all out to her. "Babe, he seeks you out, he hugs you, and he kisses you. How is that _not_ flirting? The only reason why it's only he who puts the moves on you is because the rest of the guys in town fear the shit out of me. If I wasn't who I was guys would be grabbing every inch of you. Hale's the only one who doesn't fear me. And it's a good thing he has his manners and doesn't ever cross the line with you, because then I would give proof to the theory the guys in this town."

Tara rolled her eyes.

She refused to see it. "You don't believe me, do you?"

"No, I don't."

It was Jax's turn to shake his head in disbelief. "Babe, you really got to open up those green eyes of yours a little bigger. Believe me, every guy in school has imagined doing every kind of dirty thing with you while they're whacking their dicks at night."

"Teller!" She slapped him, appalled.

He laughed. "I'm not joking. Hell, I have sex with you at least twice a week and I _still_ whack my junk every night thinking about you."

She shook her head, trying to hide her smile. "You're such a class act."

He placed his hands upon her face, seeing her smile at him. "You love my dirty mind." He leaned over and gently bit her lips.

He felt her body shiver beneath his. Her hands tightened around his neck and brought him down. "God help me, I do."

His lips were on hers within a breath. She pushed him down onto the bike and she instantly wrapped herself on top of him. Her hips grinded against his.

Jax forgot where he was. All he knew was her middle was rubbing up against his dick in a torturously good way. He attacked her neck as she kissed his face.

He reached over and gently caressed her face. "I love you."

She pulled away slightly and held his stare for a while.

He frowned. Something was going on in her mind. "What?"

"All those girls, they really do mean nothing, right?" she asked, with a little bit of concern.

Jax looked right into her eyes and answered, "They mean shit." He rubbed his forehead against her and breathed in her scent. He wanted her to know there was really no one else for him. It would always be her.

Suddenly, headlights were flashed on them.

"Aye, step away from the innocent young girl, young man," a voice called out.

Jax knew that damn voice. He let out a growl of frustration. "Ah, shit."

Tara's face became red with embarrassment. She buttoned up her blouse. Jax wasn't sure if it had been him or her who had unbuttoned it. "Who is that?" she asked.

"Chibs," Jax said, irritated.

He helped Tara down to her feet.

Chibs turned off the headlights to the TM tow-truck he was driving.

"Don't tell me _you're the_ mechanic brought here for my bike?" asked Jax. He knew Chibs wasn't that great of a mechanic.

Chibs smiled. "Others are a little busy at the moment. Not to mention, I got another errand to run anyway." He gave Jax a wink.

Jax understood the wink. He was here for the fireworks.

At that moment, a bike came. It was Ope.

Jax turned to Chibs. "You running the errand without me?" It hurt him a little to know that he was out for the remainder of the plan Clay had installed.

Chibs made a motion to his bike. "Can't exactly drive now, can ya?"

Jax was irritated.

Chibs made his way over to the bike and extended his hand to Tara. "Name's Filip. Everyone calls me Chibs, though."

Tara smiled at him and shook his hand. "My name's Tara. Nice to meet you."

"Pleasure's mine, darlin'. It's nice to put on a face on the girl who has Jackie Boy wrapped around her little finger." He winked at her.

Jax shook his head as Tara laughed. "Get to working, asshole."

Chibs went to the bike and began to look at it.

"Donna ok?" asked Tara to Ope.

Ope nodded. "She's cooling down."

Chibs turned to Ope. "Ya and Donna get in another fight, brother?"

Ope shook his head. "It's nothing."

"It's never nothin' with a woman. Gotta listen to them and treat them right."

Jax noticed Tara smile at this and give Jax a look.

Another car came into the lot and parked close to the tow-truck. Jax didn't pay too close attention as he heard someone coming out of the car.

Jax rolled his eyes. "Quit kissing ass, man, and get to work."

"Ya ain't my boss. I'm pretty sure ya ain't gonna pay me either after I fix it either." Chibs took out a mini-flashlight.

"Half of the name on the company displayed on your jacket clearly says I _am_ your boss," Jax challenged.

"It's a _long _time before you become co-owner of that shop, baby," said a voice behind them.

Jax didn't have to turn to see who it was. But, he did so anyway when he looked at the person in the eye. "What are _you_ doing here?" asked Jax as his mother.

His mother put on an innocent face. "I heard you had bike trouble and figured I'd come over just in case it didn't get fixed and you needed a ride." She cocked an eyebrow. "You're welcome, asshole."

He let out a sigh. Beside him, he felt Tara stiffen a bit.

His mom turned to Tara and gave a fake smile. Jax knew those too damn well. "Hi, darling. You must be Tara. My name's Gemma, Jax's mom who he's too embarrassed to introduce you to." She extended her hand to Tara.

Tara took it and smiled back. "Nice to finally meet you, Mrs. Teller."

His mom gave a fake shiver. "Oh, darling. Please, call me Gemma. The title Mrs. makes me sound old."

"You _are_ old," Jax reminded her.

His mother gave him a glare.

"Jackie Boy," said Chibs.

"What's up?" asked Jax as he went over to Chibs.

"Can't fix this til we get to the shop. Your bike's gonna have to hold."

Fuck, Jax thought. He looked down at his watch. He had ten minutes to get Tara home.

He turned and saw Tara was thinking the same thing.

/

~TARA~

"Can either one of you take Tara home? Her dad's gonna flip if she doesn't get home before 10." Jax looked at Chibs and Ope with a pleading look.

Chibs and Ope exchanged a look. "We don't have much time, Jackie. We got fifteen minutes to run this errand as well. What if she's fifteen minutes past?" asked Chibs.

Jax shook his head. "No, she's gotta be there before 10." He turned to Tara, looking apologetic.

"We could walk," offered Tara.

If they were to hurry, they could get to her house a little after 10. It would be risking it, but there was no other choice.

"We won't make it on time," Jax said, saying out loud her thoughts.

"I'll give her a lift," offered Gemma.

Jax turned to his mother. "Really?"

"Yeah. I'm pretty sure Chibs and Ope will like your help on this errand," Gemma gave Jax a knowing look.

Tara felt as if Gemma knew everything of what Jax and Ope had done tonight.

But instead of that becoming her central focus, Tara got nervous for something else. Alone in a car with Gemma? The woman hated her. Tara would rather hitchhike.

"We could use the extra hands," said Chibs as he too gave Jax a look.

"We could _really _ use the extra hands," Opie added.

Jax nodded. "I'll help." He turned to Tara. "My mom can give you a lift."

Was he crazy? She would be dead before reaching her house. "That's alright. My home isn't that far. I can walk."

Jax gave her a stern look. "You're not walking alone at night."

"Don't be silly, honey. I'll take you." Gemma gave Tara a smile that Tara wasn't completely sure was sincere.

There was something about Gemma that Tara could not shake off. However, she had no choice. She knew Jax wouldn't let her walk alone. "Ok."

Jax reached over and pulled her into a hug. "I'll come over later on," he said to her softly so only she could hear.

Tara's worry almost disappeared. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him down. "Hurry, though."

'It'll be fine. She won't bite." He gave her a kiss.

"I love you," she said as she pulled away and looked at him in the eyes.

He caressed her face softly. "_I_ love _you_." He gave her a peck on the lips.

"Come on, you lovebirds. There's shit to be done," said Ope as he got into his bike.

Tara forced herself to move away from Jax and went over to Gemma's car.

She got into the passenger's seat and buckled up. Gemma drove slowly out of the parking lot.

Jax waved her off until she couldn't see him anymore.

"So, you and Jax," Gemma said in a tone as she turned to a street.

Tara noticed the woman's driving. She had a feeling Gemma was going to make this ride last as long as possible.

She tried to at least appear relaxed in front of Gemma. "Yeah."

Gemma waited a moment. "Where is that heading?"

Tara didn't know how to respond to that. "I…I don't know."

"You gonna be his old lady?"

Tara frowned at the term. "Old lady?"

Gemma turned over to Tara with raised eye brows. "Don't tell me Jax hasn't told you."

Tara was afraid that if she gave the wrong response to Gemma, she would end up regretting it. She and Jax had a very open relationship and told each other everything. If she appeared to not know what Gemma was talking about and it was something important, it would only make Tara doubt of how honest Jax was with her.

Gemma seemed to have sensed this and gave a smile. "Oh, honey. You are in for a treat. I would lay one on Jax, if I were you. He shouldn't keep that kinda shit hidden."

"What?" Tara asked, curiously.

"You know what SAMCRO is, don't you?"

"The motorcycle club his dad help co-create?"

Gemma snickered. "It's more than a club. They're highly respected around here. They're strong and powerful. The women treat them like gods."

Tara nodded, she had noticed. But she wasn't about to tell Gemma that.

"A lot of pussy is displayed for them," Gemma continued.

The choice of words coming from this 40-year-old made Tara believe she was in some sort of dream. Who talked like that?

Gemma took out a cigarette and began to smoke. "Jax lost his virginity at 15. To some 20-year-old." She let out a puff of smoke.

Tara knew why Gemma was saying this to Tara, to try get a rise out of her. She wanted to hit the woman back with something. "I know. Jax told me."

Gemma turned over to her, eyebrow raised. "Is that right?"

"Yeah. We're pretty open with one another," Tara claimed.

Gemma let out a laugh. "Darling, no man is every fully truthful. They either tell you blunt lies or tell you _half _of the truth. There's _never_ complete honesty."

Tara looked away, hoping that would help her not reach over and punch Gemma straight on the face. She was grateful when they came to her street.

Then, this made her suspicious. "How do you know where I live?"

Gemma pulled up to Tara's house. "Honey, there is not a thing my son does that I do not know about or goes somewhere I don't know the exact coordinates to." She grabbed a yellow package from the side of her door and handed it to Tara. "That being said, here."

"What is this?" Tara asked as she took the package from Gemma's hand.

"A present. Don't say I didn't warn you." Gemma put back her sunglasses and turned straight ahead.

Tara got the hint. She was confused, but made her way out of the car. "Thanks," she said to Gemma.

Gemma didn't bother to say anything. She just drove off.

Tara made her way into her house. Her father wasn't back yet from work, so she made her way to her room. She put down her stuff on the bed and held the package in front of her. She was a bit scared in knowing what was inside. A big part of her was warning her not to look inside of it, but curiosity beat the best of her.

She opened it up and saw there were about five pictures inside of it. They looked to be taken at night, so Tara couldn't clearly see them. She pulled them out to get a better look. The very first picture made her feel as if someone had jammed her chest with butcher's knife. She shivered at the hurt and felt coldness come over her.

It couldn't be.

/

~JAX~

Jax arrived at Tara's house a little before 11. He noticed her father was still not home. Jax didn't know how much time he would have with Tara, but what little time he had with Tara, he wasn't going to pass it up. He came to her door and rang the bell.

A few seconds passed and there was no answer.

That was odd. Tara was usually at the door within five seconds. Confused, Jax rung the bell again. A few seconds passed and still nothing. He rang it a third time. Finally, the door came open, but very slowly.

Jax was more than concerned now. By this time, Tara would have been wrapped in his arms and she wasn't. Was she sick? She had looked fine when his mom had driven off with her.

Tara's face finally came to view and he knew something was wrong. Her face was red, her eyes swollen. Had something happened with her dad?

Jax took a step forward. "Babe, what hap—"

A slap across the face pushed him away from her. He was too stunned at the action to say or do anything. "Jerk!" Another slap to the face.

This time, Jax reacted. He grabbed her arm. "Tara, what's the matter?"

She was in pieces now, crying hysterically. "I hate you! I hate you!" She was hitting every spot she could reach.

"Tara, breathe. What happened? What did I do?" He thought back to the last few hours. She had been perfectly fine when she left him. What could have possibly happened to make her react this way?

She threw something at him. "Here! Here is how true your _stupid_ promises are! I don't want to see you anymore! You stay away from me!" She went into her house and slapped the door.

Jax knocked on the door. "Tara! Open up!" He knocked again when she didn't do it. "Tara!" She still didn't come.

Jax wanted nothing more than to break down the door and go after her, but he felt she needed to calm down first. He looked down to see what she had thrown at him, finding a package on the ground. He frowned at it and grabbed it. He saw pictures inside.

Pictures of him. With a Crow Eater. Giving him head. _Shit_, he thought.

He walked over to his bike, feeling more enraged than he ever had felt before. He knew where Tara had gotten those pictures. There was only one person low enough to do it.

Jax got to his house in less than two minutes, it was a record.

He opened up his door and found his mother in the kitchen table.

With as much control as he could muster, he said, "Stay away from her.".

"What did I do?" his mother asked with a fake look of concern.

Jax wanted nothing more than to beat it out of her. "I'm not kidding, Mom. Leave Tara alone."

"What did she claim I did?" Gemma challenged.

Jax slammed the pictures in front of her. "I _know_ this was you! What the hell is your problem?! Why would you give her these pictures—better yet, where the hell did you get them?!" He knew the latter question was irrelevant. There were always plenty of Crow Eaters with their cameras in there. He was sure his mother had obtained it from one of them.

Gemma looked down at the pictures. "Now, why in the hell would I give Tara these?"

He gave her a look that he wasn't buying anything she was saying. He knew very well how much his mother wanted Tara out of his life.

His mother rolled her eyes at him. "And even if I had, isn't it better she know _now_ what things she'll have to deal with when she's an _old lady_? It's unfair for the poor girl—you not telling her a damn thing. The long absences, the girls, the Crow Eaters, all the free sex you'll be getting."

Jax had never felt so much anger for his mother before. "Not that it's any of your business, but I haven't been with anyone else since I've been with Tara—I haven't even gotten a blow job from a Crow Eater."

Gemma scoffed. "Well, isn't that sweet."

"I'm not telling you again. I won't have you pushing Tara away." He grabbed his keys and headed out of the house. "Stay clear of her."

"Or you'll what?" dared Gemma.

He turned back to her and with a look straight in the eye so she would know how serious he was he said it, "I'm a month from turning seventeen. I'm more than sure I can easily get emancipated." He opened up the front door and left.

He had wasted enough time with his mother. He needed to fix this. And now.

/

~TARA~

She had the biggest headache in the world, and she didn't think she ever felt so exhausted. It hadn't even been an hour and already she felt as if a week had gone by.

She splashed some water on her face, trying to keep herself cool. She took a towel and dried her face, then made her way out of the bathroom.

As she closed the door, someone bumped into her.

She turned and found her father stumbling his way down the hallway. He reeked of beer.

"You 'kay, sweet-art?" he slurred out of his lips when he took a look at her face.

She could taste the alcohol on her lips when he spoke. She made a look of disgust. "How much did you have to drink tonight?"

She doubted he even knew.

He could barely keep his eyes open. "Only 'uple 'eers."

A couple, yeah right. She rolled her eyes. "That's a lie."

Normally, she ignored her father and helped him into bed. Tonight, she didn't care for doing either one of those things.

She headed to her room.

"You didn' answer my quession," he said after her.

She was pissed and needed to blow off steam. She turned to him, angry. "About if I'm ok?"

"Yeah." He placed his hand on the wall, almost coming down.

"What kind of stupid question is that?" she demanded.

He looked up at her, shocked. She had never spoken to him like this before.

"Look at you! Look at what has become of the man who is supposed to be my father. When Mom died, I lost _two_ parents—not one!"

He looked ready to cry. "I'm sorry, sweet-art. I tried—"

"Tried isn't _good_ enough!" She thought to all his failures over the years and it made her sick to her stomach. Made her feel disappointed that she had a weak father. "I _needed_ you. I needed you to tuck me into bed and take care of me. But look at us! Our roles are reversed. It's _me_ who's taking care of _you_!"

Now, he was crying. "I'm sorry. I—"

"Do you know how much I _hate_ this? Do you have any idea how it feels like to be alone—with no fault of my own? _You're _alone because that's the life you _chose_—_I'm _alone because I was never taught to be anything _but_!" She didn't notice the tears that were coming down. She was too caught up in her emotions at the moment. She was too lost in the words that had been building up inside of her for seven years. "I can't trust _anyone_, and that's because of you."

She went into her room and slammed the door, more angry than she had ever felt before. However, she couldn't help but feel relieved as well. She had been wanting to do that for years now.

For once, she was grateful her father was a coward. She heard him going into his room and locking the door. He didn't come after her and wouldn't be bothering her at all. She was fine with that. She needed to be alone. Then again, maybe that was the problem. Her sense of solitude would only make her down in more anger.

She took a deep breath and tried to steady herself. She needed to maintain in control.

"That took some balls," came a voice from the darkness.

It startled her. If she hadn't known who the voice belonged to, she would be mortified. "What are you doing here?" She turned on one of her nearby lamps.

Jax stepped out of the shadows and looked at her with a pleading look. "I came to talk to you."

She shook her head. She didn't want to see him. She didn't want to hear what kind of poor excuse he would give her. They were over. She wanted him far away from her. "Get out, Jax."

He looked softly at her. "Babe—"

The nickname felt like a punch in the gut. She hated the word out of his mouth now. The sweetness was gone. "Don't call me that."

He took a breath and took a closer step to her. "I swear to you that I haven't been with anyone for over six months."

"What bullshit." She tried to sound cold and harsh. She wanted him gone.

He reached out and took her hand. "Believe me."

She pushed him off. She didn't want him close. His touch would only confuse her.

"Tara." He wouldn't let her go. He wrapped his warm arms around her. His hands gently rubbing her back.

She fought, but she was losing. The scent of tobacco and oil were forcing her to do the opposite of what her brain was telling her body to do.

He placed his forehead against hers. "I love you. I wouldn't do anything to hurt you."

The look she saw in his eyes told her he was telling the truth. She wanted to believe me, really she did. But… "The pictures—"

"The pictures are shit," he said, now stroking her face. "They were taken before you and I became us. My mom is a twisted fuck who's trying to keep you from me." His blue eyes had a pain in them, almost the same kind of pain she saw whenever he spoke about his dad. "Please, babe. You have to believe me."

She didn't know what to believe.

His jaw was clenched and he seemed to have a hard time swallowing. "I will _never_ hurt you." He looked straight into her eyes as he said this.

And she believed him.

"Don't leave me." His tone was a combination of anger, plead, and heartbreak.

Her heart broke in hearing this. She felt tears coming down. She placed her hands on top of his and reached up to place his lips against his.

They shared a long, sweet, and painful kiss. When she pulled back, she rubbed her nose against his. "I won't."

"You believe me?"

She nodded. "Yes."

He kissed her a few times.

She tried to control her sobs. "I'm sorry. The pictures and then your mom—"

"Forget my mom," he said angrily. "She's gonna stay clear from you now."

Tara highly doubted that. Gemma Teller didn't seem the type to give up so easily. Tara knew that woman was going to do anything possible to make sure Jax and Tara would break apart.

Tara hugged Jax tightly; she wasn't going to give up Jax without a fight.

* * *

**AN**: Although Jax isn't _completely_ honest to Tara (during all of the seasons in SOA), I believe in the past, Jax was how Opie was with Dona and he didn't tell Tara anything—and if he did, it was very little. Also, in this story I'm making it be that although they both want to know everything of the other, communication is lacking. Tara believes that if Jax wanted to tell her something, then he would do it without being asked. Jax, thinks the complete. He believes that Tara isn't asking too many questions because she's too afraid to know the truth, and in turn, too afraid to know him fully.

Please, leave your thoughts, comments, concerns, questions. If there are mistakes I have made, I really would like to correct them! Thank you!

**DATE**: 1/23/13


	7. Let it Slide

**CHAPTER ****6**: "Let it Slide" by Nikki Flores

**SUMMARY**: The lies begin…

**NOTE: **Written just as 'Edge of Desire' was, with lots of smaller snapshots that follow the couple throughout 1995… (some of you will be excited by the fact that this is a freaking LONG chapter).

**DISCLAIMER**: I don't own a damn thing of Sons of Anarchy. All those rights belong to the incredible Kurt Sutter…. Bastard.

**TIME PERIOD**: May to December of 1995

* * *

~JAX~

[May]

"You know we're gonna give you hell, right?" asked Tig as he took a shot of Tequila.

The guys around him laughed.

Jax nodded as he drank his beer. "I'm looking forward to it."

Bobby was the next to speak. "It's been a shitty few months, not having a Prospect. After Ope here was fully patched in, the bathroom has gotten quite a bit dirty."

"And my bike's been lookin' dirty as well," said Chibs, smiling.

"Hell, the whole Clubhouse needs some spring cleaning," added another SAMCRO member.

Everyone around laughed.

Jax shook his head. It was gonna be a long twelve months. He turned to Ope. "Are _you _gonna show a little mercy at least, best friend?"

"Yeah, I guess I'll be nice," Ope said giving a shrug. "I'll let you use a full scrub instead of a toothbrush when you clean my room."

"That's fucked up."

Ope gave him a slap on the back. "Gotta crawl your way to the top, bro."

"Hey, Jax," said a voice behind Jax. He turned and found a couple of Crow Eaters looking at him as if they were going to give him a blow job right there and then.

He smiled at them. "Hey, girls."

"We just came here to congratulate you," said one of the girls.

Jax nodded. "Thanks."

"We got you a little present too," said the other girl.

He had a good idea of what that present was. "Oh, yeah?"

They nodded. "Come over to one of the rooms and we'll show you."

The guys around began making animal noises.

Jax gave his head a little shake. "Maybe some other time."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" asked Tig in the background.

The girls both placed their hands over Jax's chest. "You're gonna love it, we promise you."

Jax placed his hands on both of their hips. "Sorry, girls. But I'm actually feeling a bit tired. I'm gonna call it a night."

"Spend it here then," said one of Crow Eaters as she began to rub up and down his chest. The other girl began to make her way down his pants. "We'll help you unwind."

Jax took hold of both their hands and stopped them. "Thanks, but I gotta go, darlings." He turned to his SAMCRO friends. "Thanks for the party, guys."

Tig had a look on his face that told Jax he was ready to punch the shit out of him. "What the hell are you doing? This is _your _party. Birthday and becoming Prospect all rolled into one. The girls are here to service _you_!"

Out of all the SAMCRO members, it was Tig that found it the most difficult to understand Jax's loyalty to Tara. The other members might tease Jax and call him pussy-whooped, but they didn't get angry with him the way Tig would.

"The kid's had a long night," said Piney, coming to Jax's defense. "Not to mention he's going to have a shitload other parties like this."

Tig shook his head. "This girl ain't good news, man. Having _one_ girl is not good at all."

"Let it go, man," said Chibs.

"I mean, she has you leaving before _midnight_ to go over _her _place—which I'm betting my dick is where you're going," Tig said to Jax.

"And if I am?" asked Jax, not caring what Tig thought of it.

"Next thing you know you'll be ditching a Friday night out with the boys to go to the _prom_," Tig said with a high pitched voice, mocking teenage girls. "Then, you'll be walking into that prom wearing a tuxedo and leaving behind that cut," he said as he motioned towards Jax's new cut.

"I highly doubt Tara would make Jax do anything he doesn't want to," said Piney. "I haven't talked much to her, but from what her old man says, she's a good kid. Donna speaks wonders of her too. And Donna's a great judge in character."

"Ya say that cuz she's yer future daughter-in-law," kidded Chibs.

"I surely hope so. I love that girl as if she were my own," said Piney with a bright smile.

"Mark my words," continued Tig. "That girl is going to change Jax. Ope could be a lot tougher if it weren't for Donna."

Jax didn't have a chance to say anything about this, Ope was the one who spoke up. "Prom was last week, man. And neither one of us went."

Tig shook his head. "Then, she'll make him go next year.'

"She's graduating this year," answered Ope. "She'll be a full-time student in college next semester."

A smile spread across his face. "Perfect. Then, she'll be gone and Jackie here can _finally_ have some fun."

Jax tried hard to control himself. "She'll be going to Delta—Stockton. It's only half an hour away, it's not like she's moving."

Tig hung down his head, disappointed.

"And Tig," Jax said, wanting Tig to look at him straight in the eye while Jax said this.

Tig raised his head.

"I already have one person grilling my ass over me being with Tara. I don't need another asshole doing the exact same thing. I'm with Tara. That's that. What I decide to do with _my_ dick is _my_ business. Got it?" He wanted to make sure the message went through.

Tig didn't look at all happy with Jax's response. He shook his head a bit and stayed quiet.

"I'm not kidding, Tig. Stay out of my shit."

"Fine," Tig said, not at all looking happy over this.

Jax slapped Chibs and Opie on the back. "I'll check you guys later." He headed out of the club.

When he first started going out with Tara, no one made a fuss about it. However, the more time that passed, the more people started talking. He had first seen the disapproving looks in school. The teachers who looked down on him and thought he was only bad news for Tara. The girls who sent Tara death stares down the hall, believing she wasn't good enough for Jax. Then, he started noting the disapproving glances from the rest of the people in town. Tara might have been a quiet girl, but word had quickly spread on how intelligent she was and good natured. The people of Charming already knew about his background. Everyone saw his courtship with Tara as a terrible idea. So, he wasn't sure why noting the disapproving looks on his SAMCRO friends bothered him so much. He had a few on his side, like Opie, Piney, and Chibs. But everyone else had already pulled him aside and advised him to pull away from the good girl before things ended ugly.

As Jax drove to Tara's house, he allowed himself to speed a bit to blow off some steam. When he came a block from Tara's, he parked and made his way to her house. When he got there, he jumped over the fence and went to the backyard, where her bedroom was.

He never used the front door. The window to her bedroom was the only way he ever came in at night. He was glad that after six months, Tara's father still hadn't caught them.

When Jax came to her window, he pushed it open. She never locked it. He jumped over and got inside her room with no difficulty.

"Hey, you," said Tara as she was laid down on her bed, reading a book.

He walked over to her bed and leaned over. "Hey, babe." He kissed her. The moment his lips touched hers, he realized how much he had missed her. He hadn't seen her since yesterday and it honestly felt like an eternity.

"Is that the cut?" she asked as she pointed at his chest.

He looked down at the leather cut that contained a patch on his left side that read "Prospect". "Yeah."

"Looks cool," she said genuinely. "So, who sponsored you?"

"Clay. I'm gonna have to follow him around like a little puppy for the next twelve months. I'm on probation for _at least_ a year. They won't have me wait a day longer, though. If it wasn't for all the bullshit rules I'd have a SAMCRO patch already."

She smiled. "Can't pick favorites, though."

"Yeah, I guess."

"How was the party?" she asked as she put her book away on her night stand.

He took a seat next to her. "Boring."

She cocked an eyebrow. "I've heard stories from Rachel of the parties that happen at the Clubhouse. That word was _not_ used as a description."

He looked into that beautiful, light face of hers. "She needs to talk to me then next time. Any place without a certain brunette is a waste in my eyes."

This comment made Tara blush a little. "That's sweet."

"Just telling the truth." He wrapped an arm around her and breathed in her scent. "God, I missed you." It had been intended to be a thought, not something to say out loud.

He hadn't wanted to say it because he knew how it would make her feel. When she had asked him earlier in the week of what he had wanted to do for his birthday, he admitted to her that he would be taken up all day, due to him being sponsored as a Prospect. His mother had planned the entire day for him already. For breakfast, all of SAMCRO came over to his house to celebrate, then off they went to meet up for Church at the Clubhouse, where Jax would be made a Prospect, the meeting went on for a good two hours, then his mother had planned a lunch for them all, the guys then took him over to Oakland for some business, and by the time they arrived back to Charming, it was time for his Prospect/Birthday Party to start. His mother had made it clear to him that he stay for all of it, that it was important. He knew it was. He didn't need for her to tell him so.

When he had told Tara that his day was already booked, he saw the disappointment in her eyes, and the hurt. He didn't want to promise her anything he was unsure he would be able to keep. He had apologized and told her that if it was completely up to him, then he would plan his entire day with her. However, this day had been planned since his birth. His initiation to SAMCRO had been marked already. It was out of his hands.

Tara had insisted it was ok, but Jax saw it wasn't. He didn't want to bring it up, in fear of hurting her even further.

She stroked his forearm. "I missed you, too." She leaned over and gave him a loving kiss. "I got a present for you," she said.

He smiled at her, teasing. "Yeah?"

Her eyes suddenly held a light of passion in them. "Yeah…"

The look on her eyes made its way to his dick. He knew very well what that look meant. He leaned down and began to kiss her.

She pulled away though, grinning.

He frowned.

She pulled herself up and pulled the covers off of her.

The sight in front of him almost burned his eyes off. She was wearing some lacy black lingerie, which complimented her breasts and hips greatly. He instantly wondered how her ass looked in it. However, at the moment, his eyes were glued on her cleavage. "Where—where did you get this?" He could barely speak, he was so shocked.

Tara smiled. "Stockton. I went there the other day with Rachel."

His eyes snapped to her face. "Rachel? Unser? Our _lesbian_ friend?" He wasn't sure how he felt about someone looking at Tara's body in this.

Tara rolled her eyes. "I needed someone to be honest with me, and who better than Rachel? She's like you. I knew if she would like it, so would you."

Yeah, he definitely didn't want Rachel looking at Tara in this. He opened his mouth to say something, to forbid Tara from shopping with Rachel again.

But Tara silenced him with a kiss. "Later. You'll ruin the mood." Her kiss became bolder. She crawled on top of his lap and began to roam her hands down his waist.

His thoughts on Rachel instantly were forgotten…for now. He took his hands and placed them on Tara's hips, grinding her against him.

She let out a gasp. She took a hold of his cut and took it off.

"Your dad," he said as he kissed her neck. He wanted to pull away, but she tasted too damn good.

Very rarely did they have sex while her father was home. Mainly, because Tara tended to scream a little and her bed squeaked a lot. The headboard didn't help them disguise their lovemaking either. It was always so loud.

Tara continued to kiss him and undress him. "I got him sober enough to slip him some sleeping pills. He passed out about an hour ago. We have a good five hours that he'll down like a bear." She reached over and unbuckled his belt, smiling wickedly at him.

He grinned. "How long have you been planning this?"

She undid his pants. "A good few weeks."

He lifted his hips and took off his pants and boxers. His shoes and socks followed.

Tara leaned over and brushed her lips against his. She moved over to his cheeks, nose, chin, and then neck, sometimes lightly biting him.

He let out a groan. He reached down to her panties and began to search for her clit.

Tara pulled away. "Uh-uh-uh," she said as she shook her head. "This is _your _night."

He frowned.

"Tonight's all about you." She kissed his chest and pushed him down to the bed.

He let out a sigh and allowed her to torture him.

She reached his navel and lightly licked it, biting the side of his stomach afterwards.

"I'm gonna jizz all over already," he said, half-jokingly.

She sent him a look. "You better not. I haven't even started."

"Fuck." She was going to drive him insane.

As she continued to kiss his stomach, her hands took his dick and she began to rub it up and down.

He groaned in pleasure.

She worked him for a good while, then her lips began to travel more south. The moment her lips touched his head, he bit down a moan. He did his best to control himself. He wanted to enjoy it as much as he could.

She used her tongue to lick his length as her hand continued to go up and down. Her other hand took a hold of his balls and she began to massage him. After a good long while of doing this, her lips replaced her hand. She took the head of the shaft and she began to make her way down. She went slow at first, taking in just an inch or two.

He looked down at her and saw her hair was blocking his view. He reached over and took her hair in his hands, brushing it away from her face so he could get a clear look. God, the picture in front of him made him almost burst. Fucking sexy as hell.

Her head was bopping up and down, taking in more of him. Her tongue stuck out a little, building more pressure on his shaft.

She looked up and it made the picture even more sexier. Her eyes were full of passion and desire. Raw. Something took over her. She became a little more forceful and sped up a bit.

"Fuck, babe." He was having a hard time keeping her hair up. He wanted to just collapse on the bed and enjoy the feeling completely, but then he'd miss the show. He forced himself to keep looking; keep his eyes locked on hers.

She let out a small growl and she went a little faster…and deeper. He felt the head of his dick hit the back of her throat. "Fuuuck!" He couldn't help his hips from rising, meeting her thrusts.

She seemed to like it because she placed her hands on his hips and tried to lift them up as she moved her mouth up and down. He got the hint and brought his hips a bit to her movements. He didn't put a lot of force though, too afraid of hurting her.

She brought her head as low as she could and let out a loud hum.

The vibrations of her mouth undid him. He rose his hips one last time. "Shiiiit!" He wanted to move away, he really did, but her hands were placed firmly on his hips. She wanted it. He knew. And he had run out of time. He let go, fully. "Ahhh!"

He collapsed on the bed, breathing heavily.

She made her way up his body, placing kisses on his body as she did so.

When she came back up to him, she didn't have a single ounce of cum on her face. Jax wasn't sure if she spat it out or actually swallowed it. He didn't want to ruin the moment, so he convinced himself that she swallowed it.

He leaned over her and planted a kiss on her. "That was fucking hot."

She laughed. "Glad you enjoyed it."

"You're amazing." He kissed her again.

"Happy birthday." She planted a kiss on his chin and then reached over to her nightstand. She grabbed something and brought it to him. "Here," she said as she handed him a small grey box that had a bow around it.

Jax frowned. "What's this?" as he took it.

"You're present," she said simply.

"I thought the blow job was the present."

"That was _one_ present. This is another." Tara shrugged. "It's just something small."

Jax took a hold of one end of the ribbon and pulled it. He opened up the top off the box and looked inside. The gift he saw inside made him speechless. He turned to Tara. "Is this—?"

Tara nodded enthusiastically. "I figured there's no point leaving it up in your room where it can collect dust. This way, it's nicely tucked somewhere you'll always know where it's at."

Jax looked back down to his present. This further proved how well Tara knew him and how she listened to every little thing he said.

Last week, Tara came over to his house while his mom was away. They were hanging out in his room when he had talked to her about the first time his dad took him shooting. Jax had been six years old and his father had taken him out to an open field to practice. It had been that day, watching his father shoot down about three dozen soda cans, that Jax knew he wanted to be exactly like his father. Jax had only shot a dozen times that day. His father gave him the rest of the box of bullets and told him to safely keep them until the next time they went out shooting. Jax never used them, though. He wanted to keep them as a reminder of one of his favorite days.

Tara had seen the box of bullets and was examining it. Jax had stepped out of the room for a bit. It had to have been at that moment she had snatched one of these bullets.

Now, she had made it into a necklace.

He took it out of the bag and put it over his head. He smiled at her. "It's perfect, babe."

She beamed at him. "Glad you like it."

He leaned over and gave her a kiss. "I love it."

She placed her arm around his chest.

They stayed there a while, not saying anything. Jax really wanted to continue their lovemaking, but the events of the day and the great job Tara had just done to his dick had worn him down. He decided a nap wouldn't hurt. He could wake up in a couple of hours and return the gift she had given him.

However, her voice pulled him away from the sleep that was calling to him.

"Tell me it'll always be like this, Jax. You and me." She looked up at him with a serene look.

He smiled at her, sleepy. "It'll always be like this."

She smiled and kissed him, finally falling asleep.

He was right behind her.

/

/

~TARA~

[July]

When Tara awoke on that July day of her birthday, she didn't know how topsy-turvy everything would turn out.

It started when she walked out of her room and found her father waiting for her in the living room. For once, he was wearing clean clothes and didn't reek of alcohol. He was sitting down on the couch with a weird smile on his face. Tara only found his smile weird because she hardly saw one on him.

He came to his feet when she entered the living room and gave her a hug. "Happy birthday, sweetheart."

The gesture was odd and a bit uncomfortable. She somewhat hugged him back. "Thank you."

He pulled back and his face was still looking light. "I have something for you that I'm sure you'll love." He turned back to the couch and that's when Tara noticed the big box behind there.

He pushed the box over to her. "It comes with a price, though. You're going to have to put it together yourself because I'm not that bright."

Tara frowned and got closer to the box. It wasn't wrapped.

Her father noticed her noticing this. "I'm afraid I don't know how to wrap either. I'm not good at most things." He gave an uncomfortable chuckle.

He said this and Tara heard how he truly meant this. It pulled at her stomach. She didn't want her father to feel that way about himself. She didn't completely like the man, but he was still her father. Most of the time, she did keep in mind how he really tried his best after her mother died. He had just gotten lost in it all. Not everyone was strong enough to rise from that kind of devastation. And even though she hated him most of the time for being weak, she understood him and prayed that would never be her.

She didn't want him to feel bad. "Dad—"

"Come on, open it," he insisted as he handed her a box cutter. It was clear he didn't want to talk about it.

Tara got the hint and avoided the subject. "Ok." She took the box cutter and opened it up. When she saw what was inside, she was out of words. "How—?"

"That's why I've been working over-time so much," he said simply. "I know you had a hard time with all those essays you had to write this semester. Having to spend so much time at the library just to type everything was an inconvenience. I figure, why not get you your own computer. I'm sure now that you're a full time student at Delta, you'll be putting it to good use."

Tara smiled down at her present. Her very own computer. She turned to her dad and did something she hadn't done in years. She hugged him. "Thanks, Dad!"

This time, the hug was not at all awkward. He hugged her back warmly. "I love you, sweetheart."

Tears came to her eyes as she heard this. She remembered the last time he said this to her. At her mother's funeral. She hugged her father tightly. "I love you too, Daddy."

He kissed her temple. "I'm sorry."

She shook her head, not wanting to ruin the moment. She didn't want to talk about mistakes or regrets right now. She wasn't sure when another one of these moments would happen again. She wanted to fully enjoy it. She pulled him back for another hug.

They stayed that way for a while, until her father left for his shift.

Tara tried to set up the computer herself, but she was having troubles with it.

Thankfully, Rachel and Donna were at her door about twenty minutes later. They came with a birthday breakfast and coffee. Tara hadn't expected them to come over. They never did, largely because she had never invited them.

She figured they had a good idea as to why. They never asked, though. Maybe too afraid to know the answer.

However, Tara's two girlfriends figured today could be an exception since it _was_ Tara's birthday.

Tara let them in and silently was grateful that she had cleaned up the house last night after her father had come home from work. Her house looked acceptable.

Rachel and Donna set up the breakfast in the kitchen table and chatted a bit with Tara before going over to the living room to help Tara with the computer.

"You gotta make sure Jax doesn't get a hold of this," said Rachel. "Make sure he doesn't get internet installed and start viewing porn."

"Porn on the internet?" Donna asked, shocked.

Rachel laughed. "It's a sinful world, the internet."

Donna just laughed.

Rachel turned to Tara. "Have you heard from Jax today?"

Tara shook her head in disappointment.

Donna looked sympathetic. "Opie said that they were being held back. Something happened with the truck, I guess."

Tara frowned, feeling a bit hurt. "You spoke with Opie today?"

Donna nodded. "Yeah."

"When?"

"This morning. Right before I came over."

Jax had told Tara that he would call her as soon as he was able to. That was the whole reason why she didn't want to go anywhere. He had promised he would call her sometime today. She didn't want to miss his call.

It had been a week of hell. He was driving all along I-5 with the Sons. He had managed to call her almost every day, but only did so for a few minutes. The last time she had spoken to him had been yesterday in the morning. She knew he and Opie were together because she sometimes heard Opie in the background, telling Jax to hurry up so he could call Donna.

So, if Opie had been able to call Donna this morning, why hadn't Jax called _her_?

Donna must have felt Tara's worry. "Don't worry. I'm sure Jax will give you a call later on today," Donna said encouragingly with a smile. "They probably only had a few minutes of break and Opie took the only payphone they were able to get to. I'm sure he beat Jax first to it."

Tara doubted it. She knew Opie allowed Jax to always make the first phone calls, especially if he knew today was her birthday.

She saw the worry on her friends' faces. She gave them a fake smile. "I bet he'll call later."

She avoided feeling sorry for herself and continued to be at the presence of her friends. All day long, Donna and Rachel kept her entertained. However, she couldn't help but look over at the phone, wondering when it would ring.

At eleven that night, the two girls decided to call it a night and left.

Tara went over to her bed. She decided to read a bit to keep her mind from thinking of her inconsiderate boyfriend.

At first, she had been worried about not hearing from him. But that was closely turning to anger. She had a strong feeling he was physically fine. He had just forgotten. Her day. He forgot.

She turned over and saw her alarm clock read 12:08AM. Well, it _had _been her day. Not anymore.

Furiously with tears in her eyes, she reached over to her lamp and turned it off. She closed her eyes and forced herself to go to sleep. Hopefully, she would wake up and find out today had been a nightmare.

However, when her alarm went off the next morning at 8AM, she had to face the ugly truth.

A wave of tears threatened to come down, but she swallowed them down.

What good would it do? What good was it to cry about something she couldn't control?

A bell rang.

Tara's heart began to pound. She went over to her front door. She looked into the peephole and saw a blonde with his head hanging in shame on the other side of the door.

Tara couldn't help but feel pure anger only at the sight of him. Usually, when she saw her boyfriend, she felt giddy and pleased. This feeling she had right now, was not at all what she normally felt.

She took a deep breath and opened the door.

He looked up, his blue eyes not holding the usual lightness it held.

"Hey," she said as she crossed her arms. She wanted to let him know her emotions. She wasn't going to put up a front that she was completely fine.

He looked like a dog that had been kicked. "Hey."

She stood there, waiting for what he had to say. Waiting for the excuse.

He let out a sigh and he took a step closer to her. "I'm so sorry, babe. Things got caught up and there was a bit of a mess. I couldn't get to a phone at all yesterday. We just rode out early this morning. Well, actually me and Opie did, the rest of the guys stayed up in Tahoe."

Tara frowned. "Tahoe? I thought you were going to Sacramento."

Jax shook his head. "We started there, yeah."

He didn't say anything else, just gave her a guilty look.

Tara was trying hard to not blow up on him now. "You told me it was only for a couple of days; that you would be back yesterday."

He nodded. "I know."

She waited for him to continue and when he didn't, she just about shouted at him. "What happened?"

"I told you. Things got a bit messed up. There was a job in Tahoe and Clay needed me there. We got held over." He wasn't telling the entire truth, she could tell.

"A job in Tahoe?" she asked.

"Yeah."

"What was this job?"

"Chief Wayne Unser has a trucking business. His trucks travel all up and down I-5. Lately, there's been some theft occurring. Unser asked Clay if SAMCRO could travel with the truckers for the next few months. To guard the merchandise. So, that's what we were doing. We traveled with a trucker up to Sacramento, went to the Motorcycle Show, and then got a call from Unser asking us to guard another trucker who was going up to Tahoe," Jax explained. "That's what held us over."

Nothing Jax said felt like a lie. She knew Chief Wayne Unser. She knew about the harassment his truck drivers were getting and the hundreds of dollars of merchandise he was losing. She had come to know that Charming regarded SAMCRO as body guards. Everything Jax had just told her made perfect sense.

"I tried, babe. Believe me, I tried."

Then how was it that Opie was able to get to a phone? She wanted to ask him, but for some reason couldn't. As she stared up at him, he looked to be telling the truth and was sorry for how things turned out. How could she call him out on something she was not too sure of? What if Clay _had_ asked Jax only to go with him to Tahoe? What if Opie _was_ somewhere else?

However, it was hard to imagine Jax and Opie being separated for more than an hour.

"I'm sorry," he said again.

She gave Jax a nod. She didn't know how to respond. She didn't want to lie to him and say it was ok, when it clearly wasn't. But she also didn't want to snap at him without having evidence that he was lying to her. "I gotta get ready." She stepped back and made a move towards the door to close it.

Jax stepped in. "Where are you going?" He closed the door behind him.

She let out a sigh. Did he ever listen to her when she spoke? "Stockton. I'm getting together with a few friends to go bowling. Then, Rachel, Donna, and I are going shopping. We'll be back late."

"How late? Maybe we can hang out afterwards."

"Maybe 10," she answered, not at all enthusiastic about meeting him later.

He made a face. "Can you change it? We have Church at 10."

This irritated her. "No, we've been planning this for weeks. I can't just change everyone's schedule around."

He frowned. "Why not? It's _your_ birthday."

She bit the inside of her lip with frustration. "No, _yesterday_ was my birthday. _Yesterday_, I had the entire day free. Everyone _wanted _to meet yesterday, but I told them no. They had to switch everything around to take me out _today_."

He sensed her frustration and began to look guilty again. "I'm—"

She didn't want to hear those two words again. She was already fed up with them, and he had only said it twice. "I really have to get ready, Jax."

His head hung low. "Tell me what I can do to make it up to you. Please."

Turn back the clock and call me, she wanted to say. She was too afraid to, fearing she would start crying in front of him if she did. The loneliness she had felt yesterday, she never wanted to feel again. And it hurt even more that Jax was the cause of it. For almost a year, he had been the reason for her laughter and light mood. Yesterday, though, he had been the cause of her ache.

She took a deep breath. "I'll talk to you later. I really have to get ready."

"Can I come by later?" he asked with a small voice.

She shook her head. "It won't be a good idea."

He stayed there, simply looking at her.

She wasn't looking back. She didn't want to see those blue eyes. She knew if she did, she would be a goner. The events that happened yesterday would erase. And she wanted to be mad at him for as long as she was able to.

He took a few steps to her until he closed their gap. "I love you." He reached down and brushed his lips with hers.

She didn't respond to his touch. She kept her eyes glued to the damn cut he had on. Prospect. She hated the Club already.

"I'll see you tomorrow." He left.

The moment the door shut, she fell apart. The tears she had been holding back started to make their way down her face. Her sobs made her body shake. She could barely breathe. She wanted to call out to him. She wanted him to come back and comfort her. She wanted to feel his warm arms around her and hear the promises of how he will never let this happen again. She wanted his voice soothing her.

But he had left and for the first time in months, she felt alone.

/

/

~JAX~

[August]

She picked up the phone after two rings. "Hello?"

Jax smiled as he heard her voice. "Hey, babe."

"Hi," her tone was lighter. He could hear the smile. "I almost thought you weren't going to call."

Jax checked his watch. 11:50. Shit. "Sorry, I didn't think it was so late."

"It's ok," she answered.

After her birthday, Jax had made it a habit that whenever he went on a long ride, he called her, no matter what the time. He had seen the hurt and disappointment in her eyes that day after her birthday and vowed to himself he would never allow it to happen again. He had made a promise to her and hadn't kept it. It made him feel like complete loser.

It had taken a while to not see the trace of hurt in her eyes. He had made sure to kiss her ass after that incident. He bought her four dozen roses the day after. Then, he sent a balloon delivery to her home the following day. Afterwards, he hand delivered chocolates. For a week, he made sure there was something waiting in her front door every morning. He finally stopped after she told him to. He knew the gifts weren't enough to take away that day of pain, but he didn't know what else to do.

After a while, he noticed that his simple presence brought her to a more cheerful place. He now knew what she wanted. Him. He would give it to her.

"Your dad asleep?"

"Yeah. He's snoring as loud as ever as we speak. There could be an earthquake occurring and he wouldn't feel a damn thing."

He smiled. "How was your day?"

"Uneventful. Just babysat. How was _yours_?"

He thought back to the day; the long ride up and down I-5 with Ope, Bobby, Tig, and Clay. They started off going down to Bakersfield, then headed to Oakland, and now were in Yreka. There were different gangs that needed their gun shipment. SAMCRO hadn't finished assembling the guns until late last night. Jax, Ope, Clay, Bobby, and Tig were working on three-hour sleep.

Jax was glad that the deliveries had all gone smoothly and that the day had finally ended; there had been no casualties. And because of that, Jax didn't mind the very little sleep.

In the three months Jax had been a Prospect, he had yet to see any real danger. A part of him, the outlaw one who looked up to his father, was disappointed. But there was also that other part of him that was grateful. He remembered the look on Opie's face after he had seen action. He had never seen Opie look so torn. Jax hoped that it would be a while before he saw any guns being pulled out.

"Same. Very uneventful," Jax answered Tara's question.

"When are you back?" she asked on the other end of the line.

"Early tomorrow. We're actually in the middle of it; should be done in a few more hours, I'll be back before you wake up," he promised.

"I really hope so. I miss you."

"I miss you too, babe."

Suddenly, there was a tap on his shoulder. Jax turned and found Opie standing behind him.

"Gotta go, man," Opie said as he motioned towards their bikes.

Jax saw Bobby, Clay, and Tig waiting on their bikes already.

"Let's go!" called out Tig, looking irritated.

"Come on, Jax! The Niners are waiting!" Clay called out.

"Sounds like you gotta head back," said Tara on the other end. "I'll let you go."

He really didn't want to let her go, but knew he had to. "I'll head back as soon as I can."

"Ok. I love you."

"I love you, too." He hung up the payphone and walked to his bike.

Clay immediately began to give out orders. "You, Bobby, and Ope take the back end. Tig and I will ride up in front of the truck," said Clay as Jax approached them. "Rogue River says they're about 10 miles from the border. Everything on their end is clear. Our guys say there's nothing suspicious on our side. It should be an easy transfer."

Jax nodded and got into his bike. There was only one shipment they had left, but they were transferring it over to Rogue River. Rogue River would get it up to a Portland crew.

Clay and Tig rode out first. Bobby, Ope, and Jax were right behind them.

It didn't take them long to get to I-5. Jax was able to pick out the truck immediately.

He turned over to Clay and saw him give out the signal.

Tig and Clay got in front of the truck while Jax, Ope, and Bobby took the back. For a few miles everything looked and appeared fine. There were very few cars on the road.

However, about five miles of driving, Jax noticed a group of cars came in in a row to the highway. All black. No plates.

Jax turned to Ope.

Ope and Bobby had noticed too. They both turned to Jax and gave him a nod and pointed towards the front.

Jax had come to know the signals. He had to ride up front and alert Clay.

As Jax sped up, he noticed the black cars were speeding up as well, getting closer to the truck. Clay noticed him coming up and Jax screamed out about the cars.

And just as he did that, he heard them. Shots.

Instinctively, Jax ducked and moved his bike towards the front of the truck. Thankfully, Clay and Tig had already moved out of the way.

"Stay up here!" yelled out Clay as he and Tig slowed down and took out their guns.

_Shit_! Jax tried to remain steady and cool. Behind him, he heard more gunshots and from his review mirror, he could see all four of his friends were shooting at the three black cars. After a while, two of the cars gave up and took the next exit. The other one, however, was not giving up.

From his review mirror, he could see Bobby and Ope had run out of ammo. Whoever was in the car still had plenty of bullets.

Jax knew they needed help. He slowed down and took out his own gun. He had used it plenty of times, but never on an actual person.

As Jax aimed his gun towards the car, he repeated back what Clay had told him: think of them as targets, not actual people. However, as Jax continued riding with that gun in his hand, he couldn't seem to let that advice really sink in. He couldn't do it.

Then, he felt something hot come across his arm. He looked down, afraid he had gotten shot. He saw his sweater was torn on the arm, but there was no blood. He reacted, didn't think twice about it.

Jax turned back to the car and aimed at the wheels. He shot as much as he could at them. He knew he finally got it when the car began to swerve.

"Way to go, Jax!" called out Bobby as he shot at the car.

The car slowed down and swerved to the side, finally breaking.

Tig and Clay turned around on the side of the road and went towards the car. Jax, Bobby, and Ope followed.

Whoever was inside took out their gun and began to shoot at the five of them, Jax swerved to the side and stopped, only a few yards away from the car. Ope came right next to him. More shots were aimed at them. Ope got out of his bike and pushed it down, then reached over and did the same to Jax's bike. Jax took cover behind his bike and took out his gun once more.

Clay, Tig, and Bobby were also taking cover behind their bikes.

Tig poked his head out and began shooting at whoever was in the car. Clay came out of his cover and did the same. A few shots later, the guys in the car stopped shooting.

Jax did a peek and saw Clay and Tig getting closer to the car. Once to the driver's seat, Tig pointed his gun at whoever the driver was. Jax could hear some heavy and uneven breathing. Then, two more shots. Tig had finished off the driver.

Jax stayed still, not knowing what to do.

Tig turned to Clay. "What do you want to do? Want me to give Otto a call? He's a few miles away with the van."

Clay nodded. He turned to Bobby. "Make the call."

Bobby began to walk over to the phone box that was only a few feet away. As he walked there, he came pass Jax. A look of worry and concern spread throughout Bobby's face.

Jax knew why. He tried to keep himself together. He didn't want anyone to think he couldn't take it. He could. He had to.

Jax took a deep breath and came to his feet. He put his gun back into his holster.

Clay turned back towards Jax and Ope. "Jax, Ope. Pull the bodies out onto the ground. Get them ready for Otto."

"Tig and I can do it," Ope offered immediately.

Jax knew why Ope said that. Ope was worried.

Clay shook his head. "No. Tig and I need to follow up with the truck. Those two cars might be coming back." He slapped Tig on the chest. "Help me with the bike."

Both men walked over to their bikes and put them back upright.

Clay turned over to Jax. "You alright, son?"

Jax just gave a nod. He tried to push everything out of his mind. He didn't want the guys to see him as weak.

Clay gave a nod. "You did good. After Otto comes back the two of you can come find us. We're only 4 hours from home."

Clay and Tig got into their bikes and rode off.

Jax took a deep breath and began to head towards the car. He knew the drill. Make sure gloves stay on at all times. Clay had gone over all of this.

Ope got to the driver's door first. "I can do it, man," he said as he opened up the driver's door.

Jax shook his head. He leaned over and grabbed the man. He was black and had a lean built. He wasn't wearing a seatbelt so it was easy to drag him out of the car. Jax did not look at the man's face, but he saw the red. Felt it soaking into his gloves.

"Jax?" asked Ope.

Jax could barely hear him. His eyes were still glued on the body.

So much blood.

"Jax?!" Bobby was shaking him.

Jax forced himself to look away from the blood.

"Otto's here, man."

Jax turned and saw a tall figure making its way to him, Bobby, and Ope. There was another Son in the passenger side inside the van.

Otto looked down at the bodies on the ground. He turned to Jax with a big smile. "This your work, man?"

Jax didn't answer.

Opie made his way over and took a hold of the legs on one of the bodies. "Let's hurry this up. We gotta hurry up and get to Clay."

Otto took the shoulders on the body and he and Opie took it to the van.

Bobby looked down the highway. "No cars in the last seven minutes." He turned to Otto. "That your work, man?"

Otto and Opie took a hold of the other body. "Yeah. Me and the others created a little detour. It should last us another five minutes before the highway patrol gets wind of it." The second body was now in the van. "I'll go dump the bodies." He turned to the Son in the van. "Drive behind me in the car, brother."

The other Son came out and went to the black car.

"You three better hurry on out. Cops should be here any minute," advised.

"Help us with our bikes first," asked Bobby.

With the help of Otto, the three of them got their bikes to stand again.

Jax took a deep breath as he got into his seat. He tried not to think about it. He just needed to get through the next few hours. There was a long road in front of him. It would give him enough time to clear his mind.

He felt Opie give him a slap in the arm. "Ready?" asked his best friend.

Jax nodded.

Soon, the three of them were back on the road and caught up to Clay in no time.

He did good. For the next few hours his mind went blank. He pushed all thoughts and worry behind him. This wasn't the time to fall apart. He was in the middle of a job. Clay had told him to save times for emotional vulnerability when you were alone at home. While you were in the middle of a job, you needed to be fully in it. A Son could never have one foot in it while the other was somewhere else.

When they got to the Charming exit, they waved off to the trucker and headed back to town. The sun was still not out, but the clouds were starting to get a little lighter. They had a good half hour before the sun began to come up.

When they got to a stop sign on Main Street, Clay turned over to them. "Church will be at 8 tonight. Get some sleep."

Bobby, Tig, and Opie nodded and headed home.

Clay and Jax were supposed to go towards the same way, seeing they both lived in the same house now. Clay was living with Jax and his mother now.

However, Jax didn't feel like setting foot into that house at the moment. The experience of a few hours ago began to make its way back to him.

Clay frowned at him. "You coming home?"

Jax shook his head. Then, without a word, he drove off. He did his best not to speed to fast, but he was afraid that the longer he didn't get there, the faster he was going to come undone.

He finally reached the block and parked. He took off his helmet and made his way to the house. He jumped over the face, not sure if he was being as careful as he should be. He went to the back yard, got to the window that was in the corner, and pushed it open. He jumped and climbed in.

Once his feet touched the carpet, he felt arms wrap around his neck. A scent of clean mint consumed his nostrils.

He wrapped his arms around the one thing that he wanted and needed the most.

Tara moved her face towards his. "Hi." She moved her lips to his. "I was too excited to see you, I didn't sleep."

Jax could see her face, so bright and loving. She looked ecstatic. Ecstatic to see a killer. The thought made him want to vomit.

"What's wrong?" Tara reached over and placed a hand on his face. "Jax, what is it?"

He shook his head. He didn't want to say it out loud. It would make it too real. "Nothing."

She didn't look at all convinced. "Jax's, you're shaking, baby."

Was he? He looked down at his hands. They did seem to be shaking a bit. "I'm ok." He could barely recognize his own voice.

Tara's face was white. "Jax, you're scaring me."

"I'm ok," he repeated. "It's the lack of sleep."

She caressed his face. "Are you sure?"

God, he wanted to tell her. Maybe she could help him figure out how to deal with this shit. She was so good at that. He would talk hours on end about shit that circled in his head and then she would voice her opinions on it. It made him always feel a little lighter after talking to her. As if some weight had been taken off of his shoulders.

But how was he able to talk to her about _this_? How could he tell her he had pulled out a gun and was part of the reason as to why two black guys were lying in a ditch somewhere? What would she _think _of him? Better yet, what did he think of _himself_?

He began to feel a little light-headed.

"Jax? Baby?" Tara's voice sounded so far away.

His sight was getting dark. He blinked a little, trying to fight off this cold feeling that was suddenly surrounding him.

"You should lie down. I'll wake you."

But Jax didn't want to sleep. The sudden blank, dead face of the black guy began to pop into his mind. He felt the blood in his hands once again. He looked down at them, to make sure there was no red there.

"Jax, go to sleep."

The smell of the blood began to overtake his nose. He felt something beginning to crawl up his throat. It felt like something was pushing to come out. God, was there an earthquake occurring?

Then, he felt his stomach turn and something coming out of him. A bucket caught it.

"You feel a little better?" the soft voice asked.

He really wanted to respond "no" but was too afraid that would only make him vomit once more.

"Lie down."

He looked up into the set of green eyes. "Lie down with me," he croaked out. There was no way he was getting into that bed alone. He knew there would be nightmares. He needed something—someone—to fight them off.

He thought he saw some tears in her eyes. He must be scaring the shit out of her.

She gave him a quick nod. "Ok." She took his hand and guided him to the bed.

He hesitated a bit, feeling sick again.

She rubbed his hand with her thumb. "I'm right here, baby."

He swallowed and gave in.

Once his head hit the pillow, she came closer to him and wrapped her arms around him.

He closed his eyes and did his best to only think of her. It helped.

…But only for a little.

/

/

~TARA~

[October]

Tara looked herself over one more time. She had on a short jean skirt, black tank top, short-heeled shoes, hoop earrings, and the necklace that had once belonged to her mother. She very rarely wore it. Jax always commented that it looked great on her. And after she told him that it had once belonged to her mother, he asked for her to wear it more often. However, she didn't want to damage the specialty of it. If she wore it too often, then it would lose that uniqueness it made her feel every time she put it on.

And today she wanted to feel completely special. It marked the day she and Jax had officially become an item. It was actually Jax who was the one that brought it up a few months ago. He had told her he had made reservations for them at a restaurant and to make sure she dressed extra special.

Then again, it had been months ago and Jax hadn't brought it up. For a couple of months now, he had been pretty distant. He didn't speak much anymore, nor did he smile as often as he used to. There were long moments where he just stared off into the distance. Tara had tried again and again to get him to open up, but he kept saying he was ok and changed the subject.

It hurt her to know he was going through something and she wasn't able to help him with it. Maybe all he needed was a little time.

"You're dressed nice," came a voice behind her.

She turned and found the blue-eyed blonde she loved so much standing next to the window. He was looking at her with desire all over his eyes. She did the same with him. He was wearing his usual clothes: baggy jeans, white sneaks, a black sweater, and his cut. He looked perfect. She smiled at him. "Thought I'd change it up a bit." She gave him a little pose.

He gave a slight nod and threw himself on the bed. "You going somewhere later on?"

She looked into his eyes and saw the blankness there once more. She let out a sigh. He forgot. "_We_ are."

His eyebrows knitted together.

"You said you were going to take me out tonight."

"I did?"

She gave him a nod.

He let out a groan. "I don't remember." He just stared at her, blankly.

This blasé attitude was getting under her skin.

He caught it. "What? You still wanna go out?"

Was he serious? "I didn't get dressed for any apparent reason, Jax. I've been stuck here for almost a month. This room is _all_ I see, other than the five classrooms I have at Delta."

"Whose fault is that?" he muttered under his breath.

She wanted to smack him, honestly. "Forgive me for caring about my education."

His eyes immediately carried a hot flash of anger. "What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

She frowned. "Huh?" She didn't understand his sudden anger.

"Little Tara always thinks her academics triumph over everyone else's. Think everyone only cares for meaningless things?" His tone was cruel and cold.

It felt like he had twisted her insides. "Don't you dare talk to me like that. That's not at all what I meant to say."

"Well, what _did _you mean to say, Tara? Huh?" His voice was still pretty controlled. He wasn't screaming, but she wished he was instead of containing this sort of tone.

She didn't want to be near him. "Get out."

"What?" He sat up on the bed.

"Get out." She took deep breaths because she was beginning to feel something start changing in her. Something she didn't like.

"It's called a fight, Tara. I know you hate confronting things, but it kind of comes with growing up." He was standing up now and holding his ground. He didn't want to leave. A part of Tara told her he wanted this fight to happen. He wanted to argue with her. He wanted to push her buttons. "Can't ignore the anger. You're not a little girl anymore." He wanted her to push him as well.

She didn't wish to, though. She hated this feeling. She hated fighting. "Leave, Jax."

"Why?" he challenged.

"Because I don't want to be around this side of you!"

"_Side_ of me?" He snickered.

"Listen, I don't know what's happening with you and I would _love_ for you to tell me—"

He shook his head, looking even more pissed. "Don't start with this bullshit again."

"But up until you're either ready to let me in on whatever you're going through or you calm down, I don't want you around me." She meant it. As much as it hurt her to say it, she had to.

He looked at her as if he wanted to scream, yell, and throw things around the room, but he was restraining to do so.

She stood there, trying to be as calm as possible.

He let out a heavy sigh and shook his head. "Whatever, darlin'." He turned and began to walk towards the window.

She knew he said it to anger her; to push her. She turned towards her dresser and grabbed the gift she had wrapped yesterday. It was a brown, leather sheath for his knife. She had seen it a few weeks ago and had kept it hidden from him ever since. She knew his father's Ka-Bar knife was special to him and the sheath he kept it in right now looked more than worn out. "Here."

Jax turned, lazily.

She threw him the box with as much force as she could muster. "Happy _fucking_ anniversary."

He caught it as the anger in his face disappeared. He looked down at the gift, then at her outfit, then back to the gift. Everything seemed to click. He remembered. His face was full of regret now. "Shit." He looked up at her, full of guilt. "Babe—"

She shook her head. "Get out." She didn't want him anywhere near her. She was on the verge of tears and didn't want to let them out in front of him.

He placed down the gift and walked over to her, slowly. She could see pain on his face. "I'm sorry."

"Get out," she repeated as she turned away from him.

He caught her though. He placed his hands on either side of her face with such gentleness.

For a moment, she welcomed the touch. He hadn't touched her like that in months. She missed it. Missed him. But, no. Dammit! She was angry with him. She had every right to be. He had been a complete douche to her.

His forehead touched hers as he rubbed her cheeks with his thumbs. "I'm sorry." His blue eyes looked into hers with warmth and love. It was a look she hardly saw anymore.

She was reminded once more why she loved him. He was the only one that could make her feel such strong emotions. She remembered how it was without him in her life. It had been a dark and lonely time. She didn't want to live that way anymore—not after knowing what it was like to have him.

Tara needed Jax. Wanted him.

She brought her hands up and placed them over his. She closed her eyes and gave in.

His lips were instantly on hers; his hands brought her hips to his. Pretty soon, the day's events were forgotten and all that circulated her mind was her love for Jax.

/

/

~JAX~

[December]

Jax, Opie, Clay, and Tig were all looking down at the body Tig had just shot down and killed.

Jax looked down at the dead Mayan and felt a rush of anger for several reasons. Damn Mayan. If only he had minded his own fucking business during this gun exchange with the Niners, Jax and Tig would have never felt the need to go after him and shoot his bike down. When the Mayan's bike went down, Tig rushed over to make sure the job was complete.

They didn't need the Mayan soldier to report over to his President.

Although the reason as to why this Mayan had to die was clear to Jax, he still couldn't help but shake off this troubling feeling as he looked at the red surrounding the fucker.

"Help Tig bury the body," Clay said to Jax as he walked over to his bike.

A strange feeling came over Jax at the thought of having to bury this guy. He'd never helped before bury a dead guy. Usually, it was Tig's or Otto's or some other SAMCRO enforcer's job.

"I'll help Tig," offered Opie immediately. "Jax is too damn puny to help Tig out with this fat son of a bitch."

Clay held Opie's eyes for a while, then shook his head. "Naw. Jax will do fine. You can actually come with me. I need some heavy lifting where I'm going anyway." He turned over to Tig. "Jax is all yours."

Tig nodded. "You got it, boss." He turned over to Jax. "Come on, man." He leaned over and grabbed the dead guy's leg. "You're younger; you can handle the upper body."

Jax felt ready to throw up. He swallowed down and did his best to blank everything out. Together, he and Tig wrapped the body in tarp and placed it on the black van they had brought with them. Jax had left his bike in Charming, upon Clay's orders, and been stuck driving the cage.

"Where are we dumping it?" asked Jax as they closed the double doors to the van.

"Follow me. I know a place." Tig went over to his bike.

Jax got behind the wheel of the van and followed Tig, doing his best not to think of the dead body behind him.

It had been his third time experiencing a kill. A part of Jax believed Clay was bringing him on all of these rides to see how much he could take. Since Jax was next in line to take that gavel, Jax knew he was being tested from left to right. Clay probably only had ten years in him, maybe fifteen. That meant Jax would have to be pushed to the limit to make sure that in the next decade, he would be more than ready to lead this club.

Jax tried to keep this in mind every day. That first time a few months ago that he had to witness his first kill had been the worst. He had only gotten a little better after being with Tara all day. He hadn't told her anything about what had happened for several different reasons. First, he hadn't known _how _to tell her; second, he hadn't known how she would react; third, he wasn't sure he wanted her to carry that kind of burden. And lastly, the Club didn't allow it. Old Ladies were the only ones allowed to know any Club business—and even then, it was limited. Because Jax was still not technically SAMCRO, Tara was not an Old Lady. In five months though, that would more than likely change.

And it scared the shit out of him. He wasn't sure how he was going to handle it all. He wasn't so worried about being part of the Club and making sacrifices for it, but he wasn't sure how he was going to handle it with Tara. He didn't know what kind of Old Lady she was going to be like.

Currently, there were only a handle of SAMCRO Old Ladies. Most were completely oblivious to what the members did—they were mainly Crow Eaters—and then there was Luann—Otto's Old Lady—and Gemma. Both of the women knew almost everything that happened with the Sons. They were tough, strong, and either feared or admired by the rest of the females in town. They could be complete bitches. For some reason, Jax couldn't see Tara being like any Old Lady he'd come across with. Tara wasn't an airhead or stupid—like most of the Crow Eaters and Old Ladies were—she wouldn't be able to be left completely in the dark. But he was unsure if she could handle all the shit the way Gemma and Luann could. Yes, she was strong, but she lacked the toughness and didn't have a bitchy quality. She might not be able to take it.

As Jax thought of all these things, he saw Tig going down an off road. He followed the Sergeant-at-Arms.

After a little while, they came across a narrowed road. Jax could smell the beach close.

Tig finally came to a stop. He walked over to the van.

"Here?" Jax asked as he parked the van.

Tig pointed towards some cliffs nearby.

"Won't someone find him easy?" Jax asked as he got off the van and walked over to the back.

Tig opened up the doors. "It's the middle of December, Prospect. Who the fuck is gonna come up here? By March, when people start hiking again, the tracks will be all gone." He grabbed the body that was wrapped in the tarp. "Get the other end."

Together, Jax and Tig carried the body as they went up the Cliff with great difficulty. When they came to a secluded area with a lot of trees, they put the body down and went back to the van to get the shovels. Then, after a goof thirty minutes of digging a great big hole in the ground under severe cold conditions, they dumped the body into the hole and covered it back with the ground.

Again, Jax tried not to think too much about it.

Tig slapped Jax on the back. "Good work, Prospect."

"Now what?" asked Jax.

"We go home." Tig led the way. "Clay and Opie must be done already. They'll be heading back too. If we hurry, we might make it on time for the party at TM."

Jax followed Tig out.

The hour and a half ride back home, Jax's thoughts and worries wouldn't stop. Everything from the kill to Tara being a future Old Lady. A year ago, he was sure he knew what he wanted and what his future was going to look like. Now, too many damn questions clouded his thoughts.

Once arriving at TM, Jax knew the party there was only getting rowdier. He noticed Clay was back now. Tig walked over to Clay upon seeing him.

Jax knew Tig was going to be reporting on Jax to Clay.

Jax looked around for Ope. He really didn't want to talk to anyone, but knew he had to stay at TM for a few hours. It was expected.

There was a fight going on right by the shop and Jax noted a tall, 6'4 figure with a SAMCRO cut. Not many SAMCRO members were over 6 feet.

Jax walked over to his best friend, who was yelling out at one of the fighters to stop defending himself like a girl and grow some real balls.

Once at his side, Opie turned to Jax. "How'd it go?" he asked in a low voice so no one around could hear him. He took the joint that was in his mouth and handed it over to Jax.

Jax took it and took a long drag. He shrugged his shoulders, trying to look indifferent. "It went." He exhaled.

Opie was silent for a while. "You good?" he asked finally.

Jax wanted to say 'yes', as he often did when Tara asked. It was easy to lie to her. She didn't of this world. Didn't know of the tasks and jobs he had to undertake for the Club. Opie, on the other hand, Jax couldn't very well lie to. Plus, his best friend had known him since they were both in diapers.

Jax gave a small shake of his head. "I don't know." He took another long drag, wanting it to fade away this damn feeling in his stomach.

Opie turned around behind him, then back to Jax. "Clay looks to be a bit busy with a few Crow Eaters. Wanna go for a ride?"

"Does that help?" Jax asked, hoping the response was a yes.

Opie gave a shrug. "Sometimes. A lot more therapeutic than watching a fight, I think."

Jax gave a nod. He finished up the joint and dropped it to the ground. "Let's go."

The two best friends headed over to their bikes and drove out of TM. For almost an hour, they rode around the town. Opie claimed keeping watch over Charming brought his mind and thoughts back to focus. Seeing families safely tucked into their homes reminded him why the Club was so important. Not just to him, but to the entire town. Yeah, bad shit happened and people died for it, but at the end of the day as long as Charming was safe, it was all worth it.

Looking at all the kids and their smiling faces and seeing couples looking so content, Jax felt that way too. As he rode that Harley, the people of Charming sent him admiring stares and waves.

Yeah, it was worth it. Jax just needed to keep that in mind.

They came to a stop at a local bar. Although Jax nor Opie were of age, the owner allowed them in because of their status.

For about an hour, the two friends sat at the bar, had a few beers, and socialized with some of the old men there. It didn't take Jax long to start feeling relaxed. The day's events were slowly fading away.

However, he looked over at the clock and noticed it was after midnight.

_Shit_, he cursed at himself. He had promised Tara to go visit her as soon as he got back. She might not be asleep just yet.

He tapped his best friend on the shoulder. "I gotta go, man."

Opie gave him a teasing smile. "Can't go one day without seeing her. You're so pussy-whipped."

"You not going in to see Donna?" Jax asked. He knew his best friend was just as into his own girlfriend as much as Jax was with Tara.

Opie shook his head. "I called her earlier and she said she was staying over at Rachel's. I'm not about to go into the Sherriff's house this late at night."

"Yeah, just imagine what you might find? Your Old Lady going down on another chick," kidded Jax.

Opie rolled his eyes. "That'll be the day. Me together with some pussy-eating babe."

Jax slapped his friend in the back. "Catch you later, man."

Ope gave him a nod and continued with his beer.

Jax began to head out of the bar. He was almost to the door when a girl with blond hair blocked his way.

She was wearing a most skimpy outfit. A shirt cut to the waist, a skirt that barely covered her ass, and the thinnest 6-inch heels Jax had ever seen. If Jax didn't know any better, he would have mistaken the blonde as a Crow Eater. However, he knew every single Crow Eater and knew this girl wasn't one of them.

Ever since youth, Jax enjoyed the fact that girls were like magnetized to him. They came without him having to seek any. While he did love Tara and was completely devoted to her, it was fun to just play and lead the girls on.

Jax smiled at the blonde. "Hey, darlin'."

She cocked her head to the side, thinking this made her look cute. "Hi, there."

"What can I do for you?" he asked; the smile still not leaving his face.

"Is that your bike outside?" she asked, beginning to twirl her hair with her finger.

Jax knew where this was going. And he wasn't going to go there. Ever since he and Tara became an item, no one sat on the back seat of his bike. That spot was solely reserved for her and every girl in town knew this by now. Sure, there had been plenty of women who had tried to ride with him, but they never succeeded. This girl was no different than the other girls he had rejected.

Jax shook his head. "Yeah, darlin'. But I'm running late. Sorry." He began to head back towards the exit.

She followed him. "I don't live far. Just up in Stockton. My boyfriend left me and I've been trying to call for a ride, but no one is answering me."

Jax turned towards her. "Old Bill has an apartment here you can probably stay in. Give him my name and I promise you'll be safe here."

The blonde wouldn't take it, though. She turned him around as he was still walking.

They came to the exit and she was now tugging at his cut and bringing him close to her body. She smiled up at him as she wrapped her arms around him. "I promise I'll repay you _real_ good, sugar."

Jax was now walking backwards with his hands upon her hips. He was taken a little aback since he forgot about the low step at the exit. He held her to keep his balance. And when she wrapped her arms around him, he let out a chuckled because her entire neediness was humorous. _Talk about low self-esteem_, he thought to himself.

"I _know _what his bike looks like," a voice said close by him. He immediately recognized it.

He turned towards the voice, shocked.

There Tara stood with a stunned look upon her face.

It took him a second to process everything, to think about what must be going on in her head as she looked at the image in front of her. It looked so wrong.

Jax instantly pushed the blonde off of him and began walking towards Tara with a cautious hand up in front of him. "Tara, it's not—"

Tara came forward with a most pissed-off look on her face now. She got to him and pushed him hard. "You lying asshole!" She pushed him again. "You told me you were out of town!"

"I was!" Jax defended himself. He allowed her to push him again. He figured she needed to blow off the steam.

"You told me you'd come over after!" Her eyes were shooting daggers at him.

He wanted to explain; wanted to tell her that he was actually on his way over to see her.

However, the blonde he had forgotten about stopped him from speaking. "Honey, he might be getting tired of you."

Jax figured Tara had somewhat forgotten about the blonde as well. Her focus had completely been on him. Now, Tara was turning over to the blonde with more fire in her eyes than before.

Something held Jax back. He wanted to intervene and stop Tara from doing something she might later regret. Something told him, though, that if he stepped in at that exact moment, things would only get worse.

Tara walked over to blonde without hesitation. She grabbed ahold of the blonde's throat and pushed her up against the wall of bar.

"Tara!" Donna screamed out to her friend, but didn't step in to pull Tara away.

Jax decided now was the time to step in. He was cautious, still, as he walked over to her. "Tara."

Tara's grip tightened a bit and the blonde gagged. "Get the fuck out," Tara warned through clenched teeth. Then, she let go.

The blonde gasped once her neck was free. And with a most terrifying look, she began to run off.

Tara let out a heavy sigh and didn't turn back to Jax. She took a few steps forward and took deep breaths. She was cooling herself down, Jax knew her well enough to know this.

He turned to his two friends and gave them a look that told them he wanted some alone time with Tara.

They took the hint.

"Is Opie inside?" asked Donna as she turned and looked at the bike that was parked right next to Jax's. She didn't need to ask; she knew the answer.

Jax still nodded.

Donna turned to Rachel and took her by the hand. Both girls disappeared into the bar.

Tara was now rubbing her neck and still looking away from him.

He didn't like the silence. "I was just about to go over your house—"

She tensed up a little.

"I swear. It was just a long night. I got back some hours ago and had to get my head cleared. Opie brought me over for a few drinks. I lost track of time. I swear, I was on my way over," he claimed. "You gotta believe me, babe."

She slowly turned around to face him. "It's kind of hard to lately."

Jax frowned in confusion. "To believe me? Why wouldn't you believe me?"

She gave him a hard stare. "Because you've been giving me nothing but lies, Jax. These last few months you've been going through some things. You don't want to tell me—I accept that. You don't trust me—it's ok."

He shook his head. "I _do_ trust you. It's not that—"

"It's the Club, I know. You either saw something or did something or heard something and it's got you angry and confused. If you know talking to me isn't going to help, then that's fine. But it's not my fault, so I should not be punished for it."

"I'm not punishing—"

"Yes, you are." Tears stung her eyes. "You're angry and you take it out on me. You ignore me; you don't see me anymore. I'm there with you, but I clearly see in your eyes that you don't want to _be_ there with me."

Jax kept his eyes down, ashamed because she was so wrong, but so right at the same time. He always wanted to be near her, but as soon as he started thinking of all the shady things he had to deal with, he wanted to take a drive and blow off steam.

He shook his head. "It's not what is it."

"Are you sure about that?" she asked seriously. "I don't know if you are."

He looked up at her, hurt that she doubted his feelings for her.

"Why treat me this way then, Jax?" she asked with hurt all over her voice and face. "If you want me and love me—why lie to me?"

Jax thought of this and agreed with her. She was right. He was being a hypocrite. He couldn't say one thing and then react another way. Tara deserved better.

"You keep going on like this, it's not going to work."

Jax nodded and walked closer to her. "Alright."

Tara placed her hands upon his cut. "No more lies?" she asked with pleading eyes.

He leaned over and rubbed his forehead against hers. "I won't ever lie to you again, babe."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and brought him down to her lips. Through his lips, he told her he loved her and wanted her in his life.

He knew he would always need her. And knew in order to have her with him, he would have to stop the lying.

He would just have to start telling her half-truths.

* * *

**AN**: Throughout this chapter there are two things that are going on: First and foremost, Jax is starting to bluntly lie to Tara. Why? Many reasons. Primarily, because he's a kid and doesn't know how to communicate this shitty stuff he's dealing with to Tara. He's been able to talk to Tara about his feelings towards his father's death and his helicopter mother because he's had enough time dealing with these feelings; however, the things he's doing for the Club is very new to him. He doesn't know what to make of it and up until he can make sense of his feelings and confusions, he doesn't want to let Tara in. And because of the lies, the second thing is happening: Tara's character begins to show darker colors. She gets pissed at Jax and just as she does with her father, she pushes those negative feelings away—at first. With the more lies that she _knows_ Jax is telling her, the more she's not having it and starting to stand up to him and challenge him.

**Thank Yous**:Everyone who's left a review or PM regarding this story, thank you so very much! Thank you for the patience on this chapter, I very much appreciate it.

Please, continue with the reviews and messages. I love reading and responding back to as many as possible. Thank you! And have a Happy Valentine's! 3

**DATE**: 2/10/13


	8. I Feel a Sin Comin' On

**CHAPTER ****7**: "I Feel a Sin Comin' On" by Pistol Annies (one of the most sexiest songs!)

**SUMMARY**: There's a side to Tara and Jax that both are scared of. But, it's also a side they feel a pull towards.

**NOTE: **Sorry for the veeeeery long absence. Life happened. The next two chapters have been written already, so even if Life decides to interfere again, at least there's two other chapters finished. This chapter is pretty lengthy, but the next two aren't so don't get too excited. Again, this is a 14-chapter story, so we're half-way there.

**DISCLAIMER**: Kurt Sutter and FX own EVERYTHING!

**TIME PERIOD**: January of 1996

* * *

~TARA~

[January 12, 1996; Friday]

"Come on, just one more mile," insisted Rachel as she continued running.

Tara and Donna let out groans.

"Don't be such pussies! Come on! This helps relieve that stress."

"I'm not stressed," Tara said automatically.

Donna and Rachel immediately shared a look and said nothing.

"What?" Tara snapped. "I'm not."

"Keep telling yourself that," replied Rachel.

Tara turned to Donna. "Have I been acting bitchy lately?"

Donna instantly shook her head. "No. Of course not."

Rachel made a so-so motion with her hand. "Not really. Just every now and again you'll snap."

"Really?" Tara immediately began to think back to the last few weeks. For the most part, she was on vacation from school due to the winter holidays. Her father was now hanging out a lot at TM and was usually away from home, which kept her from easily getting irritated. Work was fine; she had enough hours, got paid well, and she didn't dislike anyone there. There was really one thing that wasn't going perfect in her life at the moment…

Her relationship with Jax had changed back to the better in some areas—he called her more often whenever he was on the road—but other areas were getting worse. Other than school and work, both didn't talk much. They hadn't fought in over a month, but their communication was very limited. It was more in Jax's side, though. He didn't tell her much, and she didn't ask. She was afraid that if she asked too many questions, it would lead to lies.

Donna began to speak once again. "It's just school, Tara. That and work is bound to get you stressed. You're taking six classes this semester; it must be tough."

"She can handle school just fine," said Rachel. "It's something else that's bothering her." She gave Tara a sympathetic look. "Want to talk about it?"

Tara let out a sigh. She really didn't want to, but knew she should. She didn't want to take her anger out on her friends; they didn't deserve it. "It's Jax."

"I thought things were good between the two of you," said Donna.

"They are and they aren't." Tara began to explain to her two friends how the last eight months had been making her feel. She let out her worry of Jax slipping further away.

"He loves you too much to ever slip away from you," Donna said with confidence. "He might not talk to you the way you wish he did, but believe me when I tell you that he talks to you more than anyone else—with the exception of Opie obviously. He loves you, Tara."

Tara nodded. "I know. It's just…I don't know." She couldn't seem to find the right words.

"Love isn't enough," Rachel said bluntly. She looked Tara right in the eye. "You have to be more bold, Tara. The reason why things aren't so great between the two of you is as much your fault as it is his."

Tara got on the defensive. "I have never lied to him. And I am always open with him."

"Then why is it you're having this discussion with us as opposed to with him?" Rachel asked.

"Because _he's _the one that's not talking." Tara's voice got about an octave higher.

"But why not _ask_ him?" Rachel challenged. "Why don't you go up to him and ask what's going on in that mind of his?"

"I don't want to force him into telling me. I want him to _willingly _do so because he _wants_ to, not because he _has_ to."

"Maybe he's waiting for _you_ to ask_ him_."

"He knows I wantto know, so why should I pester him?"

"Because he can't read minds. Although he knows you well, he doesn't know _everything_ that's going on in your head. You need to _voice _these concerns to him, not just _think _of them."

Donna stepped in between the redhead and brunette. "Alright, both of you have points." She turned to Rachel. "But this is _Tara's_ relationship with _Jax_. We as friends should provide _advice_, not badger her."

"I wasn't badgering her," Rachel claimed.

Donna turned to Tara. "I don't think you should worry too much about it, Tara. He just needs time. The year Opie was Prospect was stressful too. The club took a lot of time from him—even during school hours. He almost quit school a couple of times because of it. I didn't let him though."

Tara was reminded of another annoyance with Jax. "Jax told me the other day he was wants to quit as well. He missed a lot of days last semester and almost failed a few classes."

"What did you tell him?"

Tara shook her shoulders. "I told him I would prefer him not to. But all of last semester it seemed as if I kept keeping him from quitting. I don't want to force him to go to school. I'm not his mother. I told him it's up to him."

"Good for you. I hate when people try to control other people," Rachel said.

Donna gave her a look. "It's not control. It's wanting the best for that other person."

"It's control."

"You are so neurotic."

Rachel rolled her eyes. "I'm a realist. People in any relationship tend to seek what's best for their own selves as opposed to their partner's. They want to mold the partner to be perfect, not caring what damage it's doing to the partner."

Donna continued to shake her head. "You first need to be in a relationship before you start spatting out all these theories. Your one-night stands don't count."

"You've forgotten I _have_ had my share of shitty assholes. It's true that it's been a while since my last real relationship. But, I observe from _other _relationships. I'm on the outside looking in, unlike the individuals in the relationship who are so hung up on their individual feelings that they don't see _logic_. I hear the perspective of _both _partners. I hear what guys tell me as well as what girls tell me. And it is thanks to my observation why I only do one-night stands. I know what I want and what I don't want from a partner. Unlike most people in toxic relationships, who are only in them because they believe their issues are _normal_ so they stay together or they believe there's nothing better out there; I see the truth. I know what I'm worth and I'm not willing to settle for anything less."

"There's no such thing as perfection, Rachel. Everyone has issues," Donna stated.

"I know this. But I'm talking about the way people in relationships _treat _one another—the _control_. I am who I am and I don't want to change. Do I want to _better_ myself? Of course I do. But I don't want to lose my identity. Opie and Jax are not scholars. They don't _like _school, so why force them to do something they absolutely detest? The two of you love the academics. Do you see _them_ trying to convince _you_ to quit school?"

Both Donna and Tara didn't say anything.

"They're not stupid either. Jax will one day be heavily reading a Harley manual, the next he's reading Whitman, and the next it's Makhno. Opie is always carrying Yeats and he excels in anything to do with science. If he doesn't want to do school, then respect that. How is it affecting _you_? But changing the subject because this was way off topic from what we were originally talking about." Rachel turned to Tara. "As a friend, my _advice_," she enunciated as she turned to Donna briefly, "would be for you to voice these concerns to Jax. If you don't, things can end up worse in the end."

Tara let out a heavy sigh.

Donna soothingly rubbed Tara's arm. "My advice is for you to give it time. You two will eventually find a rhythm."

Tara nodded as more thoughts and concerns came to her. She played out both scenarios in her head: confronting Jax and letting it go. Her past arguments with Jax kept her from wanting to follow Rachel's advice. She remembered the feelings that almost overcame her during those arguments. She hated them. Hated that there was that angry and almost violent part inside of her.

She would follow Donna's advice. She'd try to let it go….

_Try_.

"Are you meeting him later up today?" asked Rachel. She was being pushy and Tara disliked it.

Tara shook her head. "He's going on another run with the club. He'll be gone for the weekend."

Donna frowned. "Opie told me it'll be a week."

Tara felt frustration beginning to rise. Jax lied to her _again_?!

Donna saw she might have committed a mistake. "Maybe they're not gonna be together for the whole thing. They might need Opie longer than Jax," she suggested.

Tara gave Donna a look. "Jax is Prospect. They'll make Jax do a lot more work than Opie."

Donna didn't say anything else.

Tara bit down on her cheek, trying to breathe out the anger she was feeling towards her boyfriend.

"Wanna do another mile?" asked Rachel. "Might help."

Tara nodded. "Yeah."

The three began to run once again, with Tara taking the lead. With every landing she made on the ground, she wished it was Jax that was underneath her feet instead.

/

/

~JAX~

"So, the first rendezvous will be in Bakersfield. Anything else that needs to be cleared?" asked Clay to the SAMCRO members who were sitting in front of him.

Every member shook their heads.

Clay picked up the gavel. "I hope you got as much pussy as possible because it's gonna be a long ass week. Let's go after those Mayan spics." The moment he slammed that piece of wood down, they all stood up from the table.

As SAMCRO headed out of the clubhouse and to their bikes, Opie fell into step with Jax. "You tell Tara about the upcoming absence?"

Jax shook his head. "Not fully. Just told her we'd be gone for a couple of days."

"What is she gonna say when you haven't come back home by Monday?"

Jax shrugged. "I'll see what I come up with."

"Weren't things going good between you two recently?" asked Opie curiously and with a tone that was implying something.

Jax didn't stop from walking. However, he did feel himself being pushed by his friend, so he felt his automatic shield come up. "Yeah. And?"

Opie gave him a look. "Don't give me that shit. I'm not Tara."

"Don't give you what?" asked Jax defensively.

"That. Bringing up that shield as if you're being attacked." Opie knew his best friend too well.

And Jax knew his best friend right back. "Well, how about you stop tip toeing around these stupid questions and just tell me what's on your mind?"

Opie let out a sigh and stopped walking. "Look, man, the deeper you get in this shit, the harder it's gonna be for you to dodge Tara about the truth of what's going on."

Jax scoffed. "Like you tell Donna everything. You probably lie more to her than I do to Tara."

"That's my point exactly. You either tell Tara everything—or mostly everything—or you feed her lies. That way, you won't have her completely worried. My first year in this, Donna drove herself crazy."

It was a good idea, Jax knew it. If he lied to Tara and told her that he would be gone for the week due to a family emergency—like his Grandpa Nate had gotten sick—then he wouldn't have to worry about calling her up throughout the week. She wouldn't expect his calls since he would be taking care of "family" issues. Yes, lying to Tara would ease Jax for the future headache he would be going through. But there was one little problem. "I promised Tara I wouldn't lie to her again."

"Then are you going to start telling her the truth?"

"I'm not that stupid. I don't want to tell her for the same reason you're keeping Donna in the dark—I don't want to burden her with this shit."

"So, you're just telling her half-truths, then?"

"That's my plan."

"It's a stupid-ass plan."

Jax didn't say anything. He finally got to his bike and rode out of TM.

/

/

~TARA~

[Monday, 9:50PM]

Tara picked up the phone right after its first ring. She knew who it was. "Yeah?" she did her best to keep her anger under control.

"Hey, babe," Jax's voice contained a bit more sugar in it. It always did right before he gave her bad news.

"Yeah?" she repeated with annoyance.

He was silent for a moment. She knew he knew she was extremely irritated at the moment. He was thinking of the right words to say to her. "We got held up longer than I would have liked. It's gonna be a while longer."

Tara took in a deep breath. "How much longer?"

"A few more days," he said carefully.

"So, you'll be home by…?"

"Not too sure. I'm hoping Friday."

"Where are you that it's taking this long?"

Another silent moment. "San Antonio."

It took a while for Tara to register what he had just said. "Texas?!"

"Yeah…"

"You've never gone that far before."

"Yeah."

Tara shook her head. "What is that? An 18-hour ride?"

"More like 23."

"Jesus." Suddenly, the anger she had been feeling left. Her concern over the ride he had just made took over. "That's too long of a ride, baby. You must be tired."

"We're alright. The cargo shouldn't take too long to unload and deliver. Then, we'll head on back. Promise."

"Don't hurry, Jax. Take a day to rest then come back. I don't want you too tired on the road."

"I'd rather spend that day with you. The faster I get out of here, the faster I'm with you."

Tara felt those butterflies come back to her stomach. Even after a year of being together, she still got that fuzzy feeling from him.

The two talked until someone in the background called out to Jax.

"I'll call you as soon as I'm able to, babe," promised Jax.

"Just phone me by Friday. Rest as much as you can."

"I will. I love you."

"I love you, too." She hung up and headed to bed.

/

/

~JAX~

[Friday; 6:45AM]

Jax had been the first one out the door that morning. He had taken a quick shower and had himself a donut and coffee for breakfast. Opie had been the next one up since he too had a girl he wanted to hurry home for.

They waited for a while for their brothers to get up. During the SAMCRO meeting last night, they had agreed that would be riding back to Charming at 7AM this morning, but no one other and Jax and Opie were out of their rooms.

Jax checked his watch and saw that it was 15 after.

Opie seemed a little anxious as well. "Wanna ask Clay if he can leave now? I'm betting the rest of them aren't gonna be rolling out of bed for another 2 hours."

Jax nodded and both friends headed over to Clay's motel room.

Clay answered the door after a few knocks. "What?" he asked, irritated that they had apparently woken him up.

"It's 20 after," answered Jax, trying to hide his anxiety.

Clay groaned. "Shit. Anyone else up?"

"Nope."

"I am," answered a gruff voice from behind.

Jax turned and found Chibs behind them, dressed and ready to go.

"Why don't the three of us head out now?" suggested Jax to his new stepfather. "The rest aren't gonna wake up for a while."

Clay shook his head. "No. There might be some Mayans still out there. It's better if we all stay together. It's too dangerous to risk it."

Jax knew his stepfather was keeping Gemma in mind. If Jax wasn't the stepson, Clay's response would have been different. Jax knew the only way to leave was to use reason on Clay. "We took care of those shitholes, Clay. They're not stupid enough to retaliate this soon. Besides, Ope and I can take care of ourselves just fine. Plus, we have Chibs."

"I'll take care of the kids. They're anxious to get to their honeys. They're the only ones who didn't embark on any cock-sucking from the Crow Eaters this week," said Chibs while winking at the two teenagers.

Clay sighed. "Fine. The guys from SAMTAZ are going to be meeting us in Juarez at noon anyway. I'll call up Bubba and see if he and the Chino Valley charter can meet up with us in Juarez later on today."

"Alright." Jax, Opie, and Chibs all turned to leave.

"I'm gonna need breakfast first, girls," Chibs said as he got into his bike.

"Go ahead. I need to make a phone call anyway," said Jax as he walked over to the phone booth.

"I need to make one as well," said Opie as he followed Jax.

Chibs shook his head. "Pussy-whipped." He put on his helmet and turned on his bike. "Come find me." And he took off.

Once Jax picked up the phone and dialed Tara's number, Opie pointed at him and gave him a stern look. "Don't make it for too long."

Jax grinned.

There was an answer after the third ring. "Hello?" Tara's voice came.

"Morning, babe." He turned away from Opie, wanting privacy. Ope took the hint and turned away, finding interest in the highway in front of him.

"Morning!" she greeted with much enthusiasm. "I've missed you."

"Me too."

"Where are you?"

"Still in San Antonio. We're heading out now. Just wanted to give you a call before I head out."

"Where are you guys stopping?"

"Juarez. It's a 6-hour drive. We'll rest for a bit and probably won't stop until Phoenix."

"What time will you be getting to Phoenix?"

"Around 7, more than likely. We'll grab some grub and head back on the road right afteer. Probably take a rest stop in Bakersfield before getting to Charming."

"Don't, Jax." Concern was all over her voice.

"I'll be fine, babe. I just wanna see you already." He didn't remember the last time he had gone this long without seeing her. It had been a week already. If he stayed the night in Phoenix, then he wouldn't be seeing Tara until tomorrow night. But if he went directly to Charming, he could be there before the sun rose tomorrow.

"What's the point? If you get here by tomorrow morning, you'll be too tired anyway and will fall asleep."

"Believe me, babe. I won't fall asleep as soon as I see you," he teased. "The last thing on my mind with you around is sleep."

He could feel her smile.

"I wanna see you already."

"Ok, how about I make you a deal?" she asked.

"What?"

"How about we meet up in Fresno tomorrow? I don't work until Tuesday and I can finish all my homework today. We'll stay the weekend there."

It was a tempting proposition. They could rent a motel and not have to worry about her father at all, except he didn't like the long ride for her. "I don't want you driving that far alone."

Lately, there had been Mayan activity in Fresno, which was why they had rendezvoused in Bakersfield a week ago. He didn't want Tara in the area. He didn't believe the Mayans had found out about Tara, but he didn't want to risk it.

"So, I'll take Rachel and Donna with me. I'm sure Opie is dying to see Donna too."

Jax turned just as Opie turned to him. Opie had overheard.

Jax silently asked his best friend what he thought of the idea. Opie seemed to be debating it.

Tara guessed their concern. "We'll be cautious. Rachel always has her gun on her and you forget that we took those self-defense classes, not to mention that I can now run half a marathon."

Jax smiled at her pride.

"We can plan it accurately and meet at the exact same time, right off of the freeway. We'll be in broad daylight."

He continued looking at Opie to see what his thoughts were.

Opie seemed to be a little more convinced.

"Please, baby. I really don't want you on the road for that long without sleep. Please." Her tone was close to begging.

As much as he worried for her safety, she also worried for his. He needed to be fair. Opie seemed to be convinced as well. "How about you meet us at Manteca instead? Be there at 5, that way you go during rush hour when there's more people on the freeway. Ope and I will leave in the early AM and meet you in that corner gas station off of Main."

Her tone boosted. "Perfect! I'll call the girls and let them know the plans. Thank you."

Her happiness brought him his own. "I'll see you tomorrow, babe."

"I love you. Drive safe."

"I will. I love you, too." Then, he hung up.

Opie crossed his arms as he leaned against the phone booth. "Chib's not gonna want to go to stop in Manteca with us. And I doubt Clay is gonna like him heading up to Charming alone, unprotected."

Jax considered a solution. "He can wait in Phoenix til the rest of the guys get there. They'll more than likely stop there anyway. He can ride with them."

"Clay isn't going to like _us _being by ourselves," Opie pointed out.

_Shit_. Jax thought a little further. "We'll take some of the Fresno charter up to Manteca with us. A lot of them have family up there."

Opie nodded. "That works. But do you think Clay will be ok with the both of us leaving on Sunday by ourselves?"

"Some of the Fresno Sons can go with us and halfway we can meet up with Bobby and Chibs."

"He might go for it." Opie picked up the phone. "My turn. Move."

/

/

~TARA~

[Saturday, 5:15PM]

Tara spotted the Harleys the moment she saw the gas station.

"You're like a kid on her way to Disneyland," Rachel said as she came up to the gas station. She was driving her uncle's truck.

Jax had seen them and was now walking towards them, Opie right behind him.

Donna immediately unbuckled her seatbelt.

"Donna, will you wait until the car at least has come to a stop?" Rachel asked as she came into the parking lot.

Donna didn't seem to hear her as she opened the door.

"Dammit!"

Tara followed her friend's lead and took off her belt too and dashed out of the truck.

"I'm killing you both!" called out Rachel.

Tara rushed over to Jax and threw her arms around him.

Jax let out a welcoming moan. "Missed you."

She turned her head to his. "Missed you more."

His lips were instantly on hers.

They stayed that way for a while until Rachel came to them and pulled them apart. Shortly after they found a motel and checked in.

"What is there to do here?" asked Rachel to the guys.

"Nothing. It's Manteca," answered Opie.

"We can go to the park," suggested Donna.

Rachel made a face. "Perfect. I'll just be the fifth wheel once again."

"Just for a few hours," said Tara. "Then we can find a club or bar for you."

Rachel beamed. "Better."

Tara noticed Jax and Opie exchange a look of concern. She knew what they were thinking. She had been keeping up with the news. A lot of heavy criminal activity had been occurring in between Fresno and Manteca lately. She was sure the guys wanted to stay indoors.

Tara tugged at Jax's hand. "Just for a little while. It's not fair for Rachel to have come all the way over here to either be locked up or stuck with only the four of us. She wants to have fun."

"We can have fun in Lodi or Stockton," recommended Opie.

Rachel groaned. "I'm already familiar with _those_ clubs. I need fresh meat."

Tara chuckled.

Jax didn't look convinced.

Tara decided to try something. She wrapped her arms seductively around his neck. "Come on. Only for a little bit."

"The clubs are too dangerous here, babe." Jax placed his hands along her waist.

"The Fresno Sons might be having a party," Opie said. "It's safe there. Music for the girls, free beer for us, pussy for Rachel."

Rachel let out a squeak of enthusiasm.

A deeper look of concern came over Jax's face. "You want to take them to a _Sons_ party?"

Tara didn't understand why Jax still wasn't giving in. If he was so worried about their safety, wouldn't he be at better ease in being around other Sons? Why didn't he want to go?

Opie shrugged. "Fresno ain't as bad as some of the other Sons, in case you've forgotten. They usually don't really start until midnight, though. We can sleep for a while before we go."

Donna wrapped her arms around Opie's waist. "She can handle it, Jax. _I'm_ able to."

Tara finally understood why Jax didn't take her to the parties over at TM: Jax was worried if she would be able to handle it. This kind of irritated her. Jax didn't think she was strong enough.

Jax looked down at her, probably sensing her change of mood.

She unwrapped herself from him.

"Alright, we'll go," he said immediately, not wanting Tara unhappy with him. "We'll go for a little bit."

"Not sure I feel like going now," Tara said as she stepped away from him.

"Babe—"

"No, I don't want to go somewhere I'm not wanted."

"Tara, that's not why I said—"

"Then why don't you want me there, Jax?" she wanted to know. "You haven't taken me once to a Sons party. Why is that?"

Jax looked dumb-founded. "I didn't think you'd _want _to go."

Had she given him reason for that conclusion? "What would make you say that?"

"You never showed interest in wanting to go," Jax tried to explain. "But if you want to go, we can go. Just let me know—we have them every weekend."

"Well, _ask_ me."

He nodded. "I will." He wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "Sorry, babe. I honestly thought you just weren't interested."

Tara wasn't too sure she believed him. Something told her that Jax just didn't believe she could handle his world.

Well, she would prove to him tonight how very wrong he was. She could handle it.

"Let's check in to a motel," Opie said. "We'll leave our stuff there, go find us a good Mom and Pop's restaurant, and go to the park."

The girls nodded and headed back to the truck.

Jax tried to pull Tara closer to him to make sure that she was still not angry with him, but she brushed him off.

As the three girls came closer to the truck and the boys got on their bikes, Tara turned to Rachel. "You brought an extra pair of clothes right?"

Rachel gave her a slight confused frown. "Yeah. Why?"

Tara didn't answer; she just climbed into the truck.

Rachel gave Tara a big smile. "Tara Grace Knowles, what are you planning?"

"I'm gonna need to borrow your make-up too," Tara said, ignoring her friend's question.

Rachel laughed. "This is gonna be a fun night."

/

/

~JAX~

[January 21, 1996; 12:04AM]

Jax looked at his watch. A little after midnight.

"Will you relax?" snapped Opie to his best friend.

Both friends were in the living room waiting to for the girls to get ready. All three of them were in the bathroom.

Jax turned to Opie. He wasn't doing anything, just sitting there looking out the window. "What?"

"I can your worry from all the way over here. Chill. It'll be fine."

Jax shook his head. "I don't think this is a good idea."

"Why do you say that?"

Jax gave him a look of disbelief. "You _know_ why."

Opie shook his head. "Yeah, but I think it's fucking stupid. Tara will be fine. She's not as weak as you think her to be."

"I don't think she's weak," Jax said defensively.

"You don't? Your actions say otherwise," Opie accused.

Jax shook his head. "It's a different kind of world. She might not like it."

"Therefore, not like you?"

Jax kept silent. Opie was right. The real reason why he didn't take Tara to the parties at TM was because he was scared of pushing Tara too far. If she saw something that frightened her, she might not look at Jax the same way again. She could leave him. The very thought made Jax want to puke.

"Listen man," Opie said, "you gotta know. Is she able to handle it or not? I'm not saying she has to be completely involved and know everything because I leave Donna in the dark all the time. But she is going to run into these people every now and then; she is bound to see some things. You need to know that the old lady you have is strong enough to stomach that."

Jax thought for a bit and very softly asked the question he did not want to know the answer to, "And if she isn't?"

Opie didn't respond.

Then, right at that moment, the girls stepped out of the bathroom.

Both guys came to their feet.

Rachel was the first out, her outfit revealing more than necessary as usual. Donna was the next out. Compared to Rachel, Donna looked like a nun; she was covered up but her hair was styled very differently and had some bold eye shadow on.

"You look perfect, baby," Opie said as he leaned over and kissed her.

Donna beamed. "Thank you."

Jax's attention were now on the long-haired brunette. Tara had a short jean skirt, a tight blue spaghetti-strap top, some black leather boots, gold jewelry hanging around her neck, her hair was curly and wild, and she had some smokey eye shadow on. One word, his girlfriend looked hot.

However, as much as he was grateful of his girlfriend's look, the clothes surprised him and he wondered where they had come from. He didn't think Tara would ever own something so provocative.

Tara read his thoughts. "It's Rachel's. She let me borrow it. Like?" She asked as she did a small twirl.

Like? Jax wanted to drag her to the room right at that moment.

Opie was the next to read Jax's thoughts. "Alright, let's leave before something else happens that I don't want to be a part of."

The five friends headed out of the room and got into their vehicles.

They got to the party in less than ten minutes.

It was wild and loud. There was a fight happening in the background and Crow Eaters hanging all over the Sons. A few hang arounds were present and he could see a few other girls he didn't recognize. More than likely they were sweetbutts, Jax thought.

Jax took a deep breath and tried to prepare himself. He took Tara by the hand and gave her a gentle kiss. He wanted her to remember he loved her. "Ready?"

Tara cocked her brow at him, challenging him. "Are you?"

_No_, he wanted to answer her. Instead, he gave her another kiss and began to lead her away.

Tara's eyes span around the club, interest and fascination written all over her face. She didn't look repulsed, at least not yet.

Jax led them over to the Fresno charter president. "Hey, Pike."

Pike smiled at Jax. "Hey, Jax. Glad you could make it." He turned to Tara. "Who might this fire-cracker be?"

Jax placed an arm around Tara. "Tara, this is Pike—president of the Fresno charter. Pike, this is Tara my girlfriend."

Pike and Tara shook hands. Quickly, Pike put Tara at ease with his funny snarky comments.

Out of all the MC presidents, Pike was the most laid back and easy-going. To civilians, he came off cool and collected, but to his members that was a different story. Opie had been right. If there was a place to introduce Tara to, it was the Fresno charter. They were a wild bunch, but weren't intimidating as some of the other charters.

Jax caught Tara's eye wandering over to the fight that was taking place.

Jax looked over. It seemed as if it was two Prospects going at it. "They're just goofing off. Nothing serious," Jax informed her.

Tara's eyes were still glued to the two young men. "Does this happen quite a bit?"

Jax wondered if the truth would make her think he lived in a barbaric life. He debated whether or not to tell her. He didn't want to lie, but he was also scared of telling her the truth.

When he didn't answer her, she turned to him. Her face held no judgment. It was open and inviting, curious.

"Every week," he finally answered.

Tara's facial features did not change. "It explains a lot now."

"What?"

Tara gave a slight smile as she placed a gentle hand over his chest. "All those bruises I find on you."

She was kind of right. He had a lot of bruises due to the fights at TM, but some of those damages were done during some MC runs on the road. He didn't want to share that bit of information, so he kept quiet.

"Do you get put in the ringer a lot?" she asked, the curiosity in her face getting stronger.

Jax gave a shrug. "Clay likes showing off that I'm his Prospect, so I get thrown in there almost every week."

"What's the purpose of it?"

Jax gave another shrug. "Just horsing around."

Tara gave a light laugh. "Just a bunch of men full of testosterone that need to let out steam?"

She wasn't ridiculing him or belittling his world. It was taking him aback. She found some parts of his world humorous, but not in a condescending way. If Jax didn't think it was possible, his attraction towards her grew. "Yeah, just like when a bunch of chicks get together and start their gossip. They always need to nag about something." He gave her a teasing smile.

She smacked him lightly on the shoulder. "That's not all we do."

"Doubtful."

"Hey, you seem to forget who I'm friends with. For all you know, girl time is full of wild curiosity." Tara gave him a wicked wink.

Jax sent her a glare. "I'll kill fucking kill Rachel."

This only made Tara laugh.

He loved that sound. He reached over and brought their bodies as close as he was able to. "I missed that laugh."

He felt her shiver as she wrapped her hands around his neck. "Next time, just tell me how long you're gonna be gone for. I might not like the long absence, but I'd rather be prepared for it."

She wasn't lecturing him, just speaking out her feelings. If he didn't want her to hurt, he needed to be a little more open with her. Jax nodded.

For the remainder of the night, the two stayed at each other's sides. They danced a bit together, but Jax wasn't too into it, so she went over with the girls and the three had fun without the boys.

As the three girls danced, Pike pulled him aside. "Hey, Clay just gave me a call."

Opie and Chibs were nearby and they both got a bit closer.

"They got hit by some Mayans," Pike informed.

"Shit," Opie cursed. "Where?"

"Just outside of Phoenix. They were taking some off road with some of the Phoenix Sons when the spics came out of nowhere."

"Any serious injuries?" asked Jax, fearful of the answer.

Pike gave a low nod. "Tank got hit pretty bad. Doesn't look good."

"Fuck." Jax thought about the newest member to the MC. Tank had only been part of the Sons for a little over a year. He had recently transferred over to Charming a couple of months ago.

"Doesn't he have a sister that lives here in Manteca?" asked Opie.

"Yeah. He's her guardian," Jax said with a saddened tone.

"What about everyone else?" asked Chibs. "They ok?"

"Fine. A few wounds, nothing fatal," Pike explained. "From the look of things, the Mayans were aiming for just Tank."

"Why would that be?" asked Jax.

"From what little Tank could say, he was having an affair with Leticia Montenegro."

Jax thought about the name to see if it rang a bell. And after a few seconds, the last name definitely did. "The daughter of Arizona's president?"

"The one and only. And she's knocked up, too."

Jax shook his head. "Fucking idiot."

"He has one request, though," said Pike.

"What?" Jax asked.

"If you could check up on his kid sister. He gave the address."

"What does Clay say about it?" asked Chibs.

"He doesn't think the Mayans would have gone after the kid, but he wants to put Tank at ease." Pike handed Jax a piece of paper. "I'll ask some of my guys to go with you, just in case."

Jax nodded, then turned to Chibs. "I'll be right back. Let me just tell the girls we're gonna be gone for a while."

Chibs nodded.

Jax walked over to Tara as he saw Opie go over to Donna. "Let's tell them we're going shooting, just in case we're held over."

Opie nodded.

Jax got to Tara and pulled her aside.

"What is it?"

"Some of the guys wanna go shoot some rounds. We'll be gone a little bit," Jax told her.

Tara looked at him for a while, reading him.

"What?" Jax asked, trying to make sure he didn't look suspicious to her.

Her face turned serious. "What aren't you telling me, Jax?"

"What?"

"You're keeping something from me. What is it?" Her tone was stern and a bit demanding.

"Nothing." He gave her a blank stare, hiding away any emotions she could pick up on.

Her features began to harden.

"I'll be back in a couple of hours." Before she could say anything else, he gave her a peck on the cheek and headed towards his bike.

/

/

~TARA~

Tara was sitting by the bar inside of the clubhouse. A few feet from her was Rachel making out with some tall blonde. Donna had said she was getting a bit of a headache, so she had gone to Rachel's truck to take a small nap.

It had been a few minutes since the guys left on their bikes with some of the Sons members from the Fresno charter. Tara didn't buy that they were going somewhere to shoot off their guns. Something in Jax's face faltered when he informed her he was going to be leaving. It was as if he was keeping himself in check. Again, he didn't trust her.

Tara grabbed her beer and took a gulp. She wasn't a big drinker, in fact she hated alcohol, but she was so bored and pissed at the moment that she didn't care what she was drinking. She needed to do something.

There was a woman sitting right next to Tara. She looked to be in her 40s, but dressed as if she was in her 20s. Her hair was long and blond. He leaned over to Tara. "You a sweetbutt or an old lady, honey?" asked the woman. "You ain't no Crow Eater, I know that."

Tara was confused. "Excuse me?"

"You come here with someone, honey?"

Tara nodded. "My boyfriend," she explained.

The woman nodded. "You been going out for long?"

"Over a year."

"You the only one he's fucking?" the woman asked bluntly.

Tara was taken aback by the use of language, but she responded. "Yes."

"So, you're an old lady."

Tara didn't respond. She was thinking back to the words the woman had used. "What's a sweetbutt?"

The woman frowned a bit, as if confused by the question. "A slut. You know, pussy that follows a Son around just for sex. They're not permanent like a Crow Eater. A sweetbutt usually only sticks around until she's scared off." She let out a laugh.

"Oh," Tara said, not knowing how else to answer. Then, she had another question. "And what exactly does a Crow Eater do?" asked Tara.

The woman snickered. "Ain't you an old lady, honey? Why would your guy not educate you on this? He's a Son, ain't he?"

"He's not patched in yet," Tara responded.

"Oh, you're seeing a Prospect. Well, then I guess I won't mind too much giving you all this info." She lit up a cigarette.

Tara didn't say anything, fearing that her next words might make her sound more ignorant.

The woman took a drag of her cigarette. "A Crow Eater is simply that: a crow _eater_." She gave a low chuckle.

Tara let that sink in a bit. "And…they just _service_ those who don't have an old lady?" Tara was sure she knew what an old lady was: a steady girlfriend. She heard the term being used to reference her quite a bit in town.

The laughter got louder. "When the old ladies are around, no. But once their backs are turned, those crow cocks are being sucked dry."

"All of them?" asked Tara, fearful.

"Yup." She stared at Tara for a long moment.

Tara's insecurities began to crumple a bit. She knew Jax had never been a saint and had his share of lovers before her. He had assured her that he was and would always be faithful to her. However, those were things _he _had said. He had failed to mention that all of SAMCRO members cheated on their partners. How could she be ok with that? How could _he_?! At the end of the day, he was surrounded by this world—_tempted_. He could slip one day when she wasn't around—if he hadn't already.

"You ok, honey?" asked the woman in a kinder tone. "You don't know anything of this world, do you?"

Tara felt a knot in her stomach and she tried to swallow it down.

"Listen honey, you look like a nice girl, so I'm just gonna warn you." The woman placed a hand on Tara's shoulder. "If you're able to, get out. This is harsh and cruel world. If you stay an extra time longer then you're gonna be knee-deep in this club and you won't be able to get out."

Tara could see a cloud of sadness in the woman's eyes.

"I wish someone would have warned me when I was your age, so I'm doing it to you. Leave."

"But I love him," Tara said softly.

The woman's eyes got heavier with emotion. "Oh, honey. You'll get over it."

Tara thought about it: a world without Jax. A sudden coldness came to her, the same feeling she had felt before Jax entered her life. She didn't want that feeling again, though. She had seen what a world that contained love felt and looked like and she could never go back to that cave of not-knowing. "I can't."

/

/

~JAX~

"When can I see him?" asked Tank's little sister, Gigi, to Jax. Her brown eyes were filled with tears.

Jax had just told Gigi the bad news. Clay had called him a bit ago, letting him know that Tank didn't make it. SAMCRO was bringing his body back home early tomorrow.

Jax felt bad for the poor kid. He knew the family's history. The parents had bailed when Gigi was only 10 and Tank had been 18. All these years Tank had been her guardian, the only one who protected her. Now, she was 17 and alone in the world. Jax reached over and took the girl's hand in his. "They're bringing him to Charming. He should be here by tomorrow afternoon. Clay's thinking of a plan so the police won't be all over this."

Gigi nodded and let out a few sobs.

Jax held onto her hand tighter. "It'll be ok, Gigi. You won't be alone in any of this. We'll be here for you. Anything you need, just let us know. Ok?"

Gigi nodded. "Thanks."

Chibs came into view. "Jackie boy. Need to talk to ya."

Jax got up off his feet and followed Chibs to the corner of the room. "What's up?"

"Gotta move the kid. There's a couple of Mayans in town. Seem to be coming this way. Some of Pike's guys just called and let us know."

Jax frowned. "They already got Tank, why do they want the girl for?"

Chibs shrugged. "Guess the Arizona Prez is more pissed off than we thought."

Jax nodded. He pulled one of the Fresno Sons aside. "Hey, is there a safe place you can hold the girl for the next couple of days?"

The Son nodded. "Yeah."

"Some place close? Mayans are gonna be here any second."

"Yeah, it's a few streets away."

"Good. Get the others organized. When you ride out, leave quietly. We're not sure how many of them there are and seeing how the Arizona president doesn't care so much for civilians, we're not chance it." The Fresno Son nodded and went over to the other Sons to give them orders. Jax went over to the young girl. "Gigi, get some close and your most valuable items—just enough to put in a backpack. Make it quick."

"What is it?" she asked.

"Might not be anything. But as a precaution, we gotta get you outta here fast."

Gigi dashed over to her room.

Chibs gave Jax a look. "You calling the shots, kid?"

"You want to take over?" asked Jax.

Chibs shook his head. "No. You're a lot better at it. What do you need me to do?"

"Ope and I are gonna stay behind. These Fresno guys haven't seen too much action; _you_ have. Make sure you're the one leading them," Jax said sternly.

Chibs nodded. "Alright."

Gigi was back in the living room, a bag full of stuff in hand.

Jax frowned at her quickness.

"My brother taught me to always be packed," she explained.

Jax nodded. "You're gonna ride with Chibs. He'll protect you." He turned to Chibs. "Ope and I will head back to the clubhouse as soon as we see the Mayans leave and give you a call. Remember to stay low and don't let her out of your sight."

Chibs nodded. "Yes, _capitan_." He took Gigi by the hand and led her out of the apartment. "Come on, darlin'."

Jax turned to Opie. "Tidy up the place so it doesn't seem as if any of us have been here."

His best friend nodded and began to straighten things up. They hadn't been there too long, so clearing it wouldn't take too long.

Jax grabbed a piece of paper, wrote an address on it, and left it by the phone. He noticed some keys set there and took them.

Opie was right by Jax's side now. "Now what?"

"Let's hide the bikes." He put the keys into his picket.

Opie frowned and then looked at the piece of paper Jax had just written on. "You're sending them to a fake address?"

Jax nodded. "Keep them distracted."

"Whose address is that?" Opie asked.

"An 0-9er leader," Jax said with a smirk. "That'll _really_ keep them busy."

Opie chuckled.

Both headed out of the apartment and went to their bikes to hide them. The rest of the Sons had left. Jax and Ope went over to some bushes and waited for a while.

A few minutes later, there were two Mayans that rode up the street. The two teenage boys took out their guns and got them ready just in case.

The Mayans raided the apartment for a few minutes, but then all of a sudden stopped. Soon after, they were dashing out of the apartment with a piece of paper in one of their hand's.

Opie turned to Jax and gave him a thumb's up.

They waited for a bit before they came out of hiding.

"I think you've given us at least two days. They'll be heading to the 0-9er's house, get killed more than likely, and by the time the rest of the Mayans know, it'll be too late. We'll be long gone," Opie said with triumph.

Jax grabbed his bike out of its hiding spot. "Let's head back to the clubhouse. I think it's safe there, but we can never be too sure."

Both boys rode out.

/

/

~TARA~

"Want another, darling?" asked the Prospect behind the bar as he held out a beer for Tara.

Tara took it. "Thanks." She looked down at her watch. 4AM. She looked around, it didn't seem the people in the party knew it was so early on a Sunday morning. They were all still partying like it was 10PM or something.

In the background, even as the music was going and the people were shouting, Tara could hear a low roar. She could feel the ground beneath her feet begin to move. Instinctively, Tara turned towards the low noise and walked out of the clubhouse.

Once outside, she could see a pair of motorcycles drive up.

Tara swore that even more a mile away, she could hear Jax's bike.

As Jax and Opie parked their bikes and before Tara started walking up towards him, a bunch of girls began to gather around Jax and Opie. Opie didn't seem as if he noticed the girls, he brushed them off and walked away from him.

He came to Tara's side. "Hey, Tara. Where's Donna?"

Tara was about to tell her friend that his girlfriend was taking a nap in the truck, but someone pushed her away and came in front of Opie.

It was Donna and she was now all over her boyfriend.

"What kept you so long?" Donna asked.

"Sorry. We lost track of time."

"Can we go back to the motel? I'm a bit hungry and I think I'm ready to pass out." She looked at her watch. "It's seven already?"

A look came over Opie. "I think we're gonna have to stay here for a while longer."

"What? Why?"

"We just passed the motel right now and heard some shooting. I don't think it's a good neighborhood. It's best if we stay put for a few more hours. It's Sunday, so the streets are pretty empty."

Donna gave Opie a look. "Here? Where are we gonna sleep?"

"There's some rooms here," Opie explained.

Rachel was now suddenly at their side. "Eww. Those sheets don't look like they've been washed since they were bought. And I've seen couples going in and out of those rooms nonstop."

Rachel, Opie, and Donna began to discuss what the plans were going to be as Tara kept on looking at Jax and the girls around him. In town, most of the girls had finally stopped hanging around his neck. It was known he was taken, but apparently word hadn't travelled far. These girls were acting as if Jax was free reign.

"Don't allow it to slide, Tara," said Rachel as she too looked at the scene in front of her. "Those bitches know very well who Jax came to the party with. Them hanging all over him right now is a call to challenge you. Especially that short one who's rubbing his ass right now."

Tara's blood boiled because her eyes were on the same bitch too. "So, what do you suggest I do? Kick her ass?"

"That's one idea."

Donna turned to her friend. "Ok, this is not the girl's fault completely," Donna insisted. "To some extent it's also Jax's fault. He created a slutty image of himself in every town he stepped in. That's all these girls are thinking of."

"We've been together for over a year already," Tara insisted.

"_They _don't know that," Donna pointed out.

"Please. They know very well what they're doing. They know he and Tara are an item. They want to know from _Tara _how serious it is," Rachel stated.

Tara gave her redhead friend a look. "I'm not going to fight them, Rachel."

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Listen, Tara, I'm with you that it's not very civilized, but it's also the only language these girls know. If a guy is taken, the girl has to let it be known. It's stupid, barbaric, and idiotic—I agree with you. But if you don't do something that shows these bitches that Jax is taken then they're just gonna keep on trying to grab his dick."

"Why can't Jax just push them off and tell them he's taken?" demanded Tara.

"That's not the way it works in this world, honey. You gotta piss on what's yours." Rachel turned to Opie. "Right, Ope?"

Opie shook his head. "I'm staying out of this."

"You're of _no _help." Rachel took Tara's hand. "Put that skirt into good use. Walk over to him with attitude. Don't look down. Look at him straight in the eye as you're walking towards him."

Tara looked over to Donna, wanting her opinion. "It's up to you. I kind of agree that this is the only language those airheads know."

"Did you ever have to do this with Ope?" Tara asked.

Donna shook her head slightly. "We've been together since we were kids. I go with him everywhere. All girls know he's taken. But there was this one time I had to slap a bitch."

"_Slap_ her?" Opie asked with a snicker. "You broke her nose off."

Donna rolled her eyes. "He's exaggerating."

Rachel began to putt Tara's top, making it tighter around her body. "That looks better. Now, get."

Tara took a deep breath and turned over to the group in front of her. She didn't think she could go through with it, believing that "pissing" on her territory was childish. However, the stupid bimbos fueled her anger and that stupid smirk that Jax was wearing didn't help matters.

With a powerful stride of confidence, Tara made her way over to them.

/

/

~JAX~

Jax had noticed her walking towards him. He looked up and followed the sway of those hips; they looked damned good in that skirt. Suddenly, the girls around him were completely forgotten; his focus was on one particular brunette.

Without much effort, Tara pushed her way to him and gave him a half-grin that looked sexy as hell. "Hey," she welcomed in a low tone.

Jax felt a pull towards her once he heard her voice. "Hey." He leaned over to her, wanting to taste those lips of hers.

She stepped back.

He cocked a grin at her. He loved when she played this way. He reached over to her waist, wanting to pull her close to him.

She stepped away once again.

He was now walking towards her as she walked backwards. "What are you doing, babe?"

She didn't say a thing, just gave him a playful come-hither smile.

Jax let out a laugh, allowing her to bring him closer to her.

Both didn't notice they walked right over one of the girls' foot.

The yelp snapped them out of the fun they were having.

Jax turned and saw one of the girls reaching down to rub her foot as she said the word "bitch" under her breath. Jax was more than ready to ignore the idiot.

However, Tara stepped towards the girl with hardened expression on her face.

The look made Jax freeze on his tracks for a moment. He had seen Tara pissed off before and angry, but this was a different kind of emotion.

/

/

~TARA~

Tara walked over towards the stupid blonde bimbo who had just called her a bitch. It had been the same one that had been rubbing Jax's ass not too long ago.

The blonde cocked an eyebrow at Tara and dogged her. "What?"

"What did you just call me?" challenged Tara.

The blonde gave Tara an evil smile. "I called you a bitch. Is there a problem with that?"

Rachel was right. There was only one language these bitches understood. Tara was going to have to speak in that tongue now.

Jax seemed to snap out of his little frozen state and start walking towards her and the bitch. Rachel, however, held him back.

"Tara can take care of herself," Tara heard her friend say to Jax.

"Aw, even your boyfriend doesn't think too highly of you. Look at him trying to drag you out of this little altercation," the blonde said mockingly.

Tara narrowed her eyes at the blonde. "You don't want to push me, slut."

The blond bitch let out a chuckle. "Please. As if you could do anything to me."

"Try me, bitch," Tara challenged.

The blonde gave Tara a smirk then brought back her hand.

But Tara was ready for her. She ducked right before the bitch could come near her face. And Tara came up immediately. She caught the stupid blonde off-guard and closed her fingers and thumb into a fist. With speed and power, she punched the bitch straight in the stomach. Tara was grateful for the kickboxing class Rachel had signed them both up for last semester.

The blond bitch let out a gasp and clutched her stomach.

Tara didn't allow the girl to regain any strength. She reached over and grabbed the set of blond hair in front of her, pulling her face close to her own.

The blonde let out a wail of pain and held tightly to her hair.

Tara looked down at the fearful blue eyes in front of her. "That's for rubbing up against what isn't yours. You so much as take another step towards my boyfriend, bitch, and I'll be sure to rip those fake tits off." She pushed the blonde towards the ground.

A few of the other girls surrounded the idiot and began to help her up.

Rachel was laughing her ass off. "God, that was beautiful! That's what you get, bitch!"

Donna and Opie were giving Tara looks of approval and laughing at Rachel's comments.

Jax was simply looking at her as if he wasn't sure he had seen what he had just seen.

Tara began to walk away with an extra boost in her step. Her hand hurt like a mother, her nerves and anxiety were shot up, but she also felt this incredible high. She replayed that look of fear that was written across the bitch's face and she felt tremendous satisfaction. It felt like nothing could touch her.

Tara noticed an unclaimed bottle of beer, took it, and began gulping it down.

/

/

~JAX~

"What is that? Her seventh beer?" asked Rachel as she sat right next to Jax.

Tara was over at the pool table with Opie, Pike, and Chibs playing beer pong. She seemed to be laughing for no reason and couldn't stay seated for longer than a minute. She would sway to one side then another. Her body was exhausted and Jax was afraid she was tiring her body the longer she stayed up. She had taken a two hour nap a few hours ago. When she woke up, she had complained about a hang-over.

"Probably wouldn't be drinking so much if _someone_ wouldn't have told her about how to cure a hang-over," Jax accused.

"With more beer." Rachel chuckled. "I didn't think she'd actually _take _my advice." She patted Jax on the shoulder. "It's good for her. She's such a goody-goody most of the time. There's a wildness to her that she needs to let out every now and again."

Jax didn't say anything. He knew Rachel had a point, which was why he wasn't badgering Tara about how much she was drinking. Tara had enough on her plate, too much stress in her life. He knew she deserved a weekend free of responsibilities and just act like a normal teenager. However, it didn't stop Jax from worrying about her.

Rachel sensed it. "She's gonna be fine. Leave her."

Before Jax could respond, he heard a yelp in the background.

"Screw you!" screamed out a woman's voice.

Jax turned, confused.

There was a Crow Eater right on Tara's face now. "This is _my_ man! Go get your own!" She gave Tara a shove.

The Crow Eater looked really wasted because a Crow Eater didn't possess any one man. She was passed around from one Son to another. The chick probably didn't even know where she was.

Tara stared at the girl, and without warning, she slapped the chick, sending the drunk straight to the floor.

Jax rushed over. "Tara!"

Chibs and Pike let out a laugh as Jax and Opie leaned down to make sure the Crow Eater was ok. When they turned her over, they saw the girl had fallen asleep.

Jax shook his head. "Idiot." He turned around to see where Tara had gone off to.

Then, he noticed she was now outside of the house.

"Go, man. I got it," Opie said to his best friend.

Jax got to his feet and rushed out of the house. "Tara!"

Tara was swaying along the path. Jax had a feeling she didn't know where she was headed. "What?" she asked with annoyance.

He walked cautiously to her, not wanting her to start running off and cause an accident. They were close to the street now and since it was close to noon, so there was quite a bit of traffic. "Tara, let's go back to the house."

"Why?" she slurred out.

"Tara. It's not safe out here. You're too close to the cars."

She let out a raspberry. "I'm fine."

"No, you're not. You're drunk."

"I'm fine!" she repeated, annoyed.

He was getting irritated as well. She was acting like a kid. "You just straight up _punched_ that girl. That's two in the six hours! No, you're not fine."

"Oh, as if you haven't done worse than what I did," she said defensively.

"We're not talking about me right now!"

She turned to him, pissed off. "We never do! So, why do you wanna be a hypocrite and judge _me_?!" Her arms were waving all over the place that the beer in her hands began to spill out the alcohol.

"What?!" Jax took a deep breath, trying to control his temper.

Then, a pair of sirens went off.

Jax silently let out a curse.

A San Joaquin Sherriff's Department patrol car pulled up right next to them.

"Is there a problem here?" came a voice from behind.

_Shit_, Jax thought. "No, Officer. We're fine," Jax said as he tried to hide Tara from the cop. Maybe if the gods would take pity on him, they could keep the cop from seeing Tara (a minor) intoxicated.

But there was no such pity. The cop came closer to the both of them and took a notice in Tara. "Miss, have you been drinking?"

"What do _you _think?" Tara slurred as she turned over to the cop, stumbling a bit.

Jax pulled Tara a bit closer to him and with one hand, he held onto her bottle to both shield it from the cop and to prevent Tara from drinking out of it. "Tara, just keep quiet."

Tara pushed Jax away. "No!"

As she had pulled away, Jax held onto the bottle and she stumbled down.

They were screwed, but at lease it was _he_ who was holding the beer and not Tara.

Tara let out a laugh as the cop reached down to help her out. "Miss, I'm going to have to take you in." He turned to Jax. "You too, son. Come on. I'm betting the two of you are no older than 20."

"We're 17," Tara giggled.

Jax shook his head.

The cop took Tara over to the car.

"What are you doing?! Let me go!" Tara screamed out. "Jax! Jax!"

"Just do as he says, babe," Jax adviced.

The cop turned to him and looked at Jax's cut. "Figured you're a part of that gang." Roughly, the cop grabbed Jax and took him over to the back of the cop car. "You're both under arrest for underage intoxication."

/

/

~TARA~

When Tara opened her eyes, the massive light felt as if it had just swung her head with a bat. She quickly closed her eyes once again and let out a groan.

"Good morning, Sunshine," came a voice.

She turned towards it. "Jax?" She tried opening her eyes, but the light was still too damn bright. Where the hell was she?

"Turn to the other side." Jax's voice contained some humor in it. Apparently, he found her confusion entertaining. At least one of them did.

"Where am I?" she asked as she turned to the other side and forced herself to fully open her eyes. She saw a lot of grey…and metal.

"You seriously don't remember?" Jax's face suddenly became clear.

He was sitting away from her, in what looked to be another room. Her eyes began to adjust a little more. The metal now was in shape of bars, she looked down and noticed she was sitting on a dingy bed, and it was cold there. It looked like a…

Her face fell. "It wasn't a dream?"

Jax laughed. "Hate to break it to you, babe."

She groaned and moaned. "Shit." Memories flooded her brain. Stupid decisions. Embarrassment. "Did I really throw up on that sheriff?"

Jax's laughter could not be contained. "And _yes_, you did call him a peanut head right after."

She fell onto the bed, wanting the ground to swallow her whole.

"You've been out for a few hours. They couldn't get a hold of our parents—or so they say. Something tells me they want us in here for as long as possible. A cop just told me that my mom was on her way, your dad finally picked up the phone too. He said he'd be here in the next hour."

"When was this?" Tara asked as her face was still inside of the sheets.

"An hour ago."

Tara didn't have to look to know Jax was smiling throughout this whole thing. "It's not funny."

"That's what _you _think. I'm having the time of my life right now."

Tara lifted her head and sent her boyfriend a death stare. "You're not worried about your mom?"

Jax gave a shrug. "Before you, babe, I was inside a cell practically every month. I probably saw a cell room more than a classroom."

Class room. School. Tara's nerves quickly started to overtake her. What the hell had she _done?!_

"Breathe, babe, breathe." Jax's voice was suddenly full of worry.

"This is gonna come up on my personal record," she let out between gasps. "Every university will know."

"Babe, it's gonna be ok. It's stupid misdemeanor shit. You'll just need to do some community service. You're 17. They won't take it seriously."

Before Tara could respond, a cop came into view. He walked over to Tara's cell and began unlocking it. "Knowles and Teller, your dad and mom are here for you."

Tara turned to Jax, worried.

The moment Jax's cell was unlocked, he went to Tara's side. "It'll be ok." He took her hand and soothed her face with the back of his hand.

The cop gave Jax a push from behind. "Move it."

The teenagers walked together out of the back and to the front desk. There, they saw a medium height, middle-aged man who looked like he had just rolled out of bed and a middle-aged woman who looked to have just stepped out of a rock-n-roll music video. Both of their faces were harsh and pissed.

Tara tugged tightly to Jax's the closer they got to their parents.

Once in front of her father, Tara looked down at her feet. She didn't know what to say to him. She never thought she would ever be in this type of situation. In all honesty, she was waiting for the day when it would be _her _going to the police station to pick her father up.

"So, I guess this is the faceless boy that's always in the house," Tara's father said bluntly as he stared at Jax.

Jax didn't look down; he looked straight into Frank's eyes without shame or embarrassment. "Mr. Knowles, it's nice to finally meet you." He extended his hand to the man. "Sorry it had to be under these circumstances."

Tara was surprised at how Jax didn't flinch nor tried to ignore her father. And by the looks of it, her father was also surprised.

Frank Knowles reached over and shook Jax's hand.

"I'm Jax Teller."

Frank didn't respond. He turned to Tara. "Let's go. You can explain on the way home." He turned to Gemma. "Good day, Mrs. Teller-Morrow."

Gemma said goodbye to him in a kind voice, but sent Tara a most ugly snare.

Tara felt the hairs on her back stick up in fear of the woman.

While Jax Teller seemed to put Tara at ease with a simple look, Gemma Teller-Morrow had the opposite effect on Tara. Tara would rather walk through hot glass than be within a hundred feet of Gemma's snare.

* * *

**AN**: In this chapter, we've witnessed the way leadership seems to come out of Jax like second nature. However, as greatly as we admire that characteristic of his, it also comes in a dark shade at times (as we have seen in season 5). Although this story we won't see Jax being that dark, there will be small moments where we will see a peek of it. Same as Tara. Her dark side I believe came out long ago, when she was a teenager, and that part is surfacing more with every chapter.

REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!

**DATE**: 7/10/13


	9. Concrete Wall

**CHAPTER ****9**: "Concrete Wall" Zee Avi

**SUMMARY**: The fire between Jax and Tara becomes a little too hot for them to handle… (Snapshots throughout the month)

**TIME PERIOD**: First half of May 1996

* * *

SNAPSHOT 1

~TARA~

There was a knock on the Knowles' home. Tara had been studying all day and was annoyed her father had just stepped out, so she had to be the one to get up and answer it.

Lately, her father had been keeping clear of her. Ever since her arrest some months back, it seemed as if he couldn't stand to be in the same room as her. At first, this frustrated Tara, believing he was being a hypocrite. How was he disappointed in a mistake _she _had made, when all of her life he was disappointing _her _with _his _mistakes?

Eventually, Tara grew to ignore his coldness. She was actually using it as logs to her fire in wanting to get the hell out of Charming as soon as possible. She stayed in her room all day long and she didn't care.

When Tara opened her door, she let out a groan at seeing who it was. "No, Rachel. Not today."

The redhead gave Tara a look of disbelief. "We haven't hung out in over 2 weeks!"

"We see each other every other day in class," Tara defended herself.

Rachel stepped into the house and closed the door behind her. "Not the same. We exchange notes and a few words; that's it."

Tara knew her friend wasn't going to be leaving soon, so she decided to head for the kitchen to make the two of them more comfortable. "It's finals. My Chem class is kicking my ass. I feel like I'm drowning in all the information I need to know for the final."

"You're the one who decided in taking more than 16 units this semester," Rachel accused. She went over to the kitchen table and sat down. "And please don't tell me you're gonna take summer school either."

Tara gave Rachel a what-do-you-think look.

Rachel shook her head. "You're gonna kill yourself before you reach 21."

"It's not that bad all semester long, just during finals." Tara went into the fridge and took out some juice. "Want any?" she offered her friend.

Rachel nodded. "I'm gonna have a very boring summer, no thanks to you."

Tara smirked. "Doubtful."

"I'm talking about the _daytime_, not night."

"You'll have Donna."

Rachel rolled her eyes. "She's being boring too. She's interning at Rosen's all summer long. Rosen is going to have her work over 40 hours a week."

Tara frowned. "Rosen? Is that the new lawyer in town?"

Rachel nodded. "Yeah. His dad and Jax's were old buddies, I think. At least that's what I overheard Uncle Wayne telling my aunt. He just got out of law school and decided to come to town to start his practice."

Tara gave Rachel the juice and sat adjacent to her.

"Where is lover boy, anyway? I haven't seen him in town in about a week." Rachel asked. "I've been out of the loop lately because of school."

Tara shrugged. "I have no idea. He said he'd be gone for about two weeks."

Rachel's eyebrows lifted in disbelief.

"Some club thing, I guess."

"And you don't know what it is?" asked Rachel, curiously.

Tara shook her head.

"Tara…" Rachel's tone sounded as if she was about to start a lecture.

Tara got up from her chair. "Don't start, Rachel."

"Why? Because I might say something that is going to resonate with you that you don't want to?"

Tara didn't want to respond.

But Rachel didn't stop. "Tara, he leaves and comes back with his face completely messed up. You look at the other Sons and they too look like they just had a fight with the devil. His excuse is that he's Prospect and the club makes him get into these stupid, barbaric fights. But, how is the _President_ coming back with all of these bruises? The marks on all of their faces look to be caused by more than just playful tussles."

"I know," Tara snapped. Yes, these thoughts Rachel was having were the same ones lurking around Tara's head for the last few months. Jax's bruises were becoming more frequent and more serious. Last month, he had a slinky on for over two weeks. Tara had started asking him about it, but he quickly changed the subject.

Rachel stayed quiet for a moment before talking again. "You know, he's only a few days away from his 18th birthday. He's getting deeper into the club _because_ of that. Clay wants to be sure Jax can handle it."

It was another thought Tara had been having as well. If this was how things were with Jax only being _Prospect_, she knew once he was SAMCRO the absences were going to be more frequent and the wounds were only going to get more serious. More questions would arise then as well; questions that she wasn't sure Jax wanted to let her in on.

Again, his distrust in her was hurting her deeply.

"Tara?" asked Rachel, pulling Tara away from her thoughts.

She didn't want to think about this anymore. "I have to get back to studying, Rachel."

Rachel looked at her for a little while with a concerned expression.

"I'm ok, Rach. I just really need to study," Tara lied.

Rachel got up from her seat. "Let me know when you're free." Then she walked out of the house.

Tara forced herself to go into her room and start focusing on her exams. School was something she could control. She couldn't Jax, on the other hand.

/

/

SNAPHOT 2

~JAX~

Jax looked around the bay towards the boats, making sure no corner was left unseen. This was the fourth and final stop of the long 2-week trip. They had been up and down the coast making sure the deliveries from the Irish went smoothly. The Mayans and the Feds were on their ass and watching their every move. They had to be careful to make sure that nothing linked to either party. The Mayans were running low on weapons and were getting desperate. Every Son in California was taking guard on this trip—including Prospects. The first stop had been down in San Diego, then San Luis Obispo, then Monterrey, and now finally Half Moon Bay.

Jax was anxious to get back home.

A noise came up from behind Jax. He turned away from the waters and to the noise, gun at the ready.

Jax had been put to guard the west end of the Bay and ordered by Clay to shoot and take anyone out that came his way. The teenager had still not killed a man personally. Throughout his time being Prospect, he had witnessed his brothers killing other men and he himself buried dead bodies, but he still had not taken a life. Not yet. And when the time came for him to do so, he hoped he was ready.

Some of his fellow brothers had explained to him how their first kills had gone and many times it happened by accident that they later regretted. They all advised Jax to think before pulling that trigger, because once the bullet flew out the shooter no longer had control of the outcome.

Jax took their advice seriously and kept his gun always on safety. He didn't want to have regrets in the future.

A dark figure began to make its way towards him.

Jax held his gun a little tighter.

Then, the figure stepped out of the shadows. Tig. "Would you put that shit away?"

Jax put down his gun. "A warning next time?"

Tig ignored him. "Clay is calling on us. It's done."

Jax nodded and put his gun onto his holster. He and Tig made their way down the hill they were in.

As they made their way to their fellow brothers, Tig gave Jax a big smile. "You excited about tonight?"

Jax turned to Tig and returned the smile. He was officially 18 today. Last week while they were in San Luis Obispo, the club had voted to make him an official member on his 18th birthday, which they hope they would be back home by. Thankfully, everything had gone smoothly today and they were now headed home for the celebration. The tags were ready for him there.

Tig reached over and rubbed his knuckles against Jax's head. "Look at the little boy now grown up to be a man."

Jax pushed him off.

They got to the rest of the members.

Clay was all smiles. Everything had gone great apparently. "Let's hurry home and patch this kid in. We can be there in an hour."

All the men got into their bikes and rode out.

The ride back home was running pretty smoothly. Once reaching I-5, the Fresno and San Gabriel charters dispersed from Redwood Original, heading south. SAMCRO headed north.

Clay led the crew while Tig and Chico stayed at his sides, behind them were Otto, Piney, and Bobby, and at the very back were Chibs, Jax and Opie.

Just after passing Stockton, Jax noticed a small beaming light hitting him from behind; it was barely visible. He turned and saw the outline of a bike with Apes and in the background Jax could see more outlines of the same kind of bikes. He quickly turned to his brothers. "Mayans!"

Chibs and Opie were the first to hear; they quickly turned and yelled out to the others they had company. Jax turned once again and noticed there were six of them.

Soon after, Jax began heard gunshots all around him. He took out his gun quickly and began to shoot back.

Up in front, he saw Clay giving them signals. They were orders, telling them to get off at the next exit.

Jax looked around; too many civilians. They needed to get the hell off the road.

Quickly, SAMCRO rode off the highway with the Mayans following after them. The shooting did not stop.

Chico fell behind and came to Jax's side. He turned over and shot twice, killing two of the Spics. Tig was up in front with Clay, keeping the President safe.

Piney, Bobby, and Otto were surrounding the two youngest members and shooting at them.

One Mayan shot at Bobby and Piney, hitting them in the arm and leg respectively.

Otto let out a grunt of frustration and shot the stupid prick that had hurt his brother.

As Piney took care of one of the Mayans and Chico was being chased by two others, Jax noticed one of the Mayans pointing the gun at Opie. Opie, who was busy riding alongside his father and making sure he was alright, wasn't paying attention.

Jax noticed this and without thinking, without going over his choices, without a single breath of hesitation, he pulled the trigger. Once the bullet left the gun, Jax knew exactly where it was going to land.

The Mayan instantly fell onto the hard concrete. His bike came tumbling down over his body. If the bullet to the head hadn't killed him, the bike certainly had.

Jax didn't notice, but the other Mayans fell back.

The teenage boy did his best to keep as calm as possible. He had to remember that he was on his bike and the cops would be shortly there. He needed to not think about what he had just done.

Chico came back into view and signaled them to follow him.

The Sons did. A few minutes later, they were back in the highway.

Jax looked over his brothers to see if they were ok. They appeared to be fine. The gunshot wounds didn't seem to be lethal, he hoped.

Finally, they arrived to Charming at full speed and headed straight to the clubhouse.

Clay rushed over to Bobby and Piney. "How's the damage?"

Chibs was already looking them over. "They don't seem to have hit an artery. Bobby's went straight through. Let's take them in."

"What about Patching-In the kid?" asked Piney as he held onto his bleeding leg.

"Are you fucking serious?" asked Clay with a look of disbelief. "Get your ass in there. You have a bullet in you."

"It can wait, can't it?" asked Bobby. "Just do it real quick. We might need him tomorrow."

"How about the two of you get patched up before the kid?" asked Clay. "That's an order."

Chibs turned to Clay. "It won't take long. Give me an hour."

Clay nodded. He turned to Opie. "Call up the Crow Eaters. We're having a Patch-In in two hours."

Opie nodded. "What were they after?" he asked, thinking about their attack.

"The guns. They know we're meeting with the 9ers tomorrow morning," Clay answered.

Opie nodded and headed to the clubhouse. He looked back at Jax for a moment before leaving.

Clay turned to the others. "The rest of you help Chibs on whatever it is he needs."

They nodded and went with Chibs.

Clay walked over to Jax, who at the moment was doing his best from thinking of the last half hour. Clay placed a hand over Jax's shoulder. "You ok, son?"

Jax really didn't want to have this conversation. He didn't want to think about what it is that he did. "I'm fine," he lied.

Clay didn't look as if he believed him. "You know, we can postpone the party."

Jax shook his head. "Naw, I'm fine. The sooner we get this over with the better."

Clay gave a slight nod. "Ok. Well, invite whoever you want to invite. This is your night." He gave the kid a slap on the back and left.

Jax didn't say anything. His night. The night he had been waiting for since he was 5. He always thought he was going to enjoy the night he got Patched-In to the club, but he didn't at all feel like celebrating.

He went over to the office. He needed to make a phone call.

/

/

~TARA~

"Tara, phone!" Frank Knowles yelled out from the living room.

Tara rushed out of her room. Her father hadn't even bothered to get up from his seat and grab the phone that was ringing in the kitchen. "You can't get up and walk a few yards to go answer it?" she snapped.

Frank didn't bother from looking away from the television program he was watching. "It's probably the hoodlum anyway."

Tara wanted to grab that damn bottle off his and throw it at him, but the ringing ker her from doing so. She rushed over to the kitchen and answered it. "Hello?"

"Hey, babe," said a low and gruff voice.

A smile instantly came across her face. "Hi. Happy Birthday!" she said with enthusiasm. She hadn't spoken with him for a few days and was worried she wouldn't have been able to speak to him today to at least congratulate him.

"Thank you." His tone didn't seem light and happy at all.

It made Tara worry. "How are you?"

"Fine." He didn't sound like it, though. Tara could tell.

"What is it?" she asked him.

"What?"

"I can tell by your voice, Jax. Something's wrong."

"Just tired." His voice was heavy.

She didn't believe him, but didn't want to push him too much. "Where are you?"

"TM. We just got back."

"I'll be right over!" Tara was about to hang up on him and head to the clubhouse, desperate to see her boyfriend.

"No," Jax stopped her. "We're having Church in a bit. And then I'm getting Patched-In"

"Really?! That's great!" She was happy for him because she knew how important this day was for him. He had been looking forward to it for over a decade. "How long does that take?"

"No longer than an hour. Then a party is given."

"Am I invited?" she asked, teasingly.

"If it were up to me, it would only be the two of us in the party," he played along.

They were quiet for a moment, just listening to the silence. Something was telling Tara that Jax needed her at his side. It would have to wait a while longer, though. "I'll be right there when you leave those double doors."

"Promise?" he pleaded.

"Of course," she said.

He let out a heavy sigh.

"I love you," she said.

"Thank you," he responded and then hung up.

Whatever that had happened to him was very bad. She hurried over to her room to get ready and gave Donna and Rachel a call to meet her over at TM.

A couple of hours later, she was right outside the clubhouse with her two friends. A lot of people were already there. None of the Sons were outside, which meant the Patch-In was still taking place. For the last few months, Tara had been coming to the parties held at TM and she had gotten to know a few of what were called the Hang-Arounds. They were pleasant enough, when not drinking. Then, a few minutes later, the doors to the clubhouse swung open and the ten members came out letting out hoots of celebration.

Tara noticed Piney was limping and the heavy, old man who was Bobby had his arm around a sling. Yeah, it had been a rough night.

Tara caught sight of Jax. He was standing right by Clay.

Jax caught her eye as well and was about to walk over to her, but Clay placed a hand on the teenager's shoulder. "Everyone, I introduce you to the newest member of Redwood Original—it's been a long time coming—Jax Teller!"

Everyone began to cheer and whistle.

Jax gave them all to what Tara knew to be a fake smile and he gave a thanks. As they rose their beers to him, Jax hurried over to Tara's side.

Tara gave him a supportive smile. "Hey, Mr. SAMCRO," she said as she looked at where the "Prospect" patch had been was replaced by a "Redwood Original" patch.

He gave her a half-way smile then wrapped his arms around her.

For a good while they stood like that. Silently, he was telling her about his day. It had been a shitty one. She soothed his back, giving him the comfort he was asking. She slightly turned her head over to his ear and asked softly, "What do you need from me?"

His body grew heavier on her. "Stay with me."

She took his hand and didn't let go of it all night.

/

/

SNAPSHOT 3

~JAX~

"Chico, Hap, and Tig will be with me while we're with the Irish," Clay ordered during Church. "Piney, Chibs, and Bobby will stay here in Charming. Jax and Ope will go on the protective run for Unser." He put down his gavel and everyone began to disperse.

"Shit," Jax said under his breath.

Everyone turned to him, confused over the reason for his cursing.

Clay gave him a look then turned to the other members of SAMCRO. "Everyone out, except you," he said as he pointed at Jax.

As everyone left, Jax stayed behind. "What's up?"

"What's the matter with you?" demanded Clay. "All week long you've been in a very rollercoaster mood."

Jax let out a heavy sigh. "Nothing."

"Don't _seem _like nothing." Clay just stared at him as Jax stared back. "Listen, I understand that what happened last week was shitty—"

Jax shook his head. He didn't want to discuss this. He already had the same fucking talk from Opie yesterday. Ever since he had killed that Mayan punk all the members of SAMCRO kept asking and pestering him if he was ok. He tried to not let it get to him, but it was bugging the shit out of him now. "That's not it," snapped Jax at his step-father.

"Then what is it?" demanded Clay.

"It's these stupid bogus trips you're making me go on. Unser's trucks are just going up to Sacramento. It's an hour ride—they don't need protection. You're treating me like some _kid_," Jax accused. "I'm Patched-In. You didn't even give me these stupid-ass jobs when I was _Prospect_."

Clay simply stared at him, as if he knew everything Jax was telling him already. He was agreeing with him.

This shocked Jax. Clay also thought these were idiotic trips. And then he understood. "Did Gemma put you up to this?"

Clay didn't answer.

"Jesus Christ."

Clay put up a hand, trying to calm his step-son down. "She's just worried about you after what happened last week."

Jax stepped away from Clay, pissed. "This is SAMCRO business. It has nothing to do with her." Jax's voice was getting louder. He wasn't a kid, so he didn't know what he was being treated like one.

"I know," Clay agreed.

"Then who cares what she thinks?"

Clay sighed. "Just do this, Jax. It'll put her at ease." And it would probably save him for the long argument and strong headache that would be bound to happen.

Jax shook his head. "I'm going with you to meet with the Irish." He didn't wait for Clay's response, he just left the clubhouse.

/

/

SNAPSHOT 4

~TARA~

Tara made her way to the door. "I'll be home late," she called out to her drunken father.

"Just be sure not to get arrested again," her father called out.

Tara turned to her father and gave him a death stare. "I made one mistake _four_ months ago and you're still holding it over my head?"

Frank didn't turn back to her. "_Legally_, you've made one mistake. But you make mistakes on a regular basis."

Tara knew what he meant by that and she wanted to punch the shit out of him for thinking it. But, she wanted to hear him say it so she could at least scream at him. "And what mistakes might those be?"

He scoffed. "Jackson Teller. That boy is bad news and he's going to cost you what you've been working so hard for all your life."

She marched over to him, pissed. "You don't know anything about him! Don't ever _think_ that you do!"

"He's going to ruin your life," he warned.

"He makes me _feel _alive!" Tara confessed. "I have never felt this way before. All my life I have been the one looking after myself. I trusted no one _but _myself. I never let anyone in—I couldn't because I feared they would just end up hurting me in the end. I had no social life. I didn't laugh, I didn't play, I didn't _love_. But the moment he came into my life all of that has changed. For the first time in my life…I feel _happy_." The thought of Jax and the truth she was speaking out loud made her feel joy. "Because I can _talk_ to him. I can lean on him for _support_. I know that if I ever need anything, he'll be right there for me. I love him. He makes me better."

There was silence for a moment. Then, her father looked up at her with coldness in his eyes. "It's first love. It won't last."

Tara's mood quickly changed back to furious. "You're wrong. You're just old and bicker. You can't stand to see someone else happy because in order for you to feel good about yourself, everyone around you needs to be miserable." With that, she walked out of the living room and to the front door.

Tara slammed the door behind her and furiously went over to Donna's truck, where her friends were waiting. As she got into the car, she noticed her friends were staring at her.

"You ok?" asked Donna.

Tara shook her head. "Just drive."

Donna let it go and left the house. They got to TM a few minutes later. It was already a bit wild.

As Tara got out, she noticed the majority of the Sons were in the clubhouse getting wasted. There were a few gathered around the boxing ring. Tara looked all over and didn't find her special blonde.

Donna seemed to be looking around for Opie too. "Where are the guys?" she asked aloud.

Rachel shrugged. "I don't know. But I see my blonde is already here. Later." Then, she left the two of them by themselves.

Tara saw her friend go over to a tall blonde. "I haven't seen this girl around the club," she said aloud to Donna. "Who is she?"

Donna smiled. "That's Candance Eglee, goes by Candy. She graduated over a year ago. She's not a Crow Eater. Her and Rachel have been seeing each other for the last few weeks. I think Rachel invited her."

Tara frowned. "Why didn't I know about her?"

Donna shrugged. "You've been busy. She's been meaning to tell you…"

Tara felt like shit now.

Donna noticed. "Don't feel bad. Rach understands."

Tara shook her head, disappointed in herself. She made herself a promise to hang out with Rachel this upcoming weekend. Finals were now done and over with. She was finally free.

Tara looked around once more, trying to find Jax. "Where do you think they are?"

Donna shrugged. "I don't know. Wanna grab a beer while we wait for them? They should be popping up, everyone else is here."

Tara nodded and both girls went into the building to get themselves a beer. They waited patiently for a while, but after over an hour of their boyfriends being nowhere in sight, Donna decided to ask Piney where the teenage boys were.

Piney looked around, him too curious to know where his son was. "I don't know. We all got here together over three hours ago." He gave Donna a warm smile. "Don't worry, darling. I'm sure they're around here somewhere. And if they're not, they probably went out for a ride to cool off."

"Cool off from what?" asked Donna, curiously.

Tara was wondering the same thing too. If Jax was out for a ride, which he tended to do whenever something was bothering him, he would be back within the hour. It was close to two hours now and no one seemed to know where he was. If he was physically fine, then something that happened today must have set him off to go on a 2-hour bike ride.

Piney didn't answer. He just gave Donna a peck on the cheek. "He'll be here." He looked over at Tara and rubbed her shoulder. "If they don't arrive in 30 minutes, I'll have one of the guys go looking for them."

Tara gave him a nod. "Thank you."

Piney patted her on the head in a loving way. "They're fine." Then, with a warm smile, he left the girls.

Donna and Tara decided to go back out to the parking lot, each silently considering going to go look for them.

The boys were never this late and it was strange that none of the members seem to know where they were. It was worrying Tara.

Then, just as Tara and Donna stepped out into the parking lot, they noticed two bikes coming up the driveway. Tara recognized those headlights.

Jax and Opie parked their bikes and Donna and Tara made their way over to them.

Opie took off his helmet and hugged Donna tightly. "Hi, baby."

"Hey. I missed you," Donna said as she leaned over and gave him a kiss.

"Sorry," Opie said.

Jax was taking his time putting away his gloves and helmet. He wasn't making eye contact with anyone. Whatever it was that had been bothering Jax, he was still not over.

Opie looked over at Tara. "Hey, Tara."

Tara gave him a half smile. "Hey, Opie."

"Want to come with me to get a beer?" she asked, looking sideways over at Tara.

Both of the girls knew that the reason for the long ride had been Jax. Opie was perfectly fine, Jax not so much.

Opie nodded. "Catch you guys later," he called out as he and Donna went inside.

Tara walked over to Jax, who still had not made eye contact with her.

"Where were you?" She didn't want to push too much, afraid he might snap at her.

He let out a heavy sigh. "Out."

She hated that he was so vague. "Out where?"

"With Ope."

"Doing what?"

"Riding."

She waited a while before speaking again. "Riding? That's it?"

He finally looked up at her. "Yeah," he answered with a snappy attitude.

Tara couldn't stand when he talked to her in this kind of way. As if she had done something wrong. "What is it?"

"What's what?"

"You _know_ what. Something's been going on with you and you're shutting me out again."

"I don't have to tell you everything." He began to walk away from her.

She felt as if she had just been slapped in the face. Was he serious right now? Had he just said that to her? She wasn't his mother who pestered him about his whereabouts just because she was nosey. She wanted to know about his whereabouts because she was concerned for him. Something was going on with him and she didn't want him going through it alone.

Hurt by the way he was treating her and because she didn't want to make a scene here at TM, she turned her heel and began to walk out of the parking lot.

It wasn't too long of a walk to get home. She needed to blow off this steam and was afraid if she talked to anyone at the moment, she would snap at them. The way home would allow her to get a bit calm. Once there, she would try to reach Rachel or Donna and apologize to them for leaving without saying goodbye.

She had just gotten to the street when she heard someone screaming out her name.

Tara just walked faster, not wanting to talk to him.

"Tara, what the hell are you doing?" Jax demanded to know as he came to her side.

"Walking home," she answered while keeping her eyes in front of her.

"It's dark."

"No shit," she snapped at him.

"I'll go get my bike."

"Don't bother. I'm not getting on it."

He let out a grunt of anger. "I'll get Rachel and Donna then."

"I won't go with them either."

He cursed. "I know you're pissed at me, but you can't go doing stupid shit because of it."

She didn't respond. He might be right. She was probably acting childish and irrational, but at the moment she didn't care.

He took a breath. "I'm sorry, ok. I—"

She shook her head, frustrated. "I don't want a fake-ass apology, Jax. We both know it does nothing if you continue acting like a complete ass."

He took a minute before answering. "It's been a shitty two weeks and riding _helps_ me. I don't do anything else—I swear. I would never—"

Tara turned to him finally, shocked of what he was thinking. "I'm not pissed because I think you're cheating on me, Jackson—the thought honestly never crossed my mind. I _know_ you're going through some shit and I would expect you to know that I don't _need_ to know _everything_ about you. The reason why I ask where you are is so that you know that I'm there if you need me to be. If the rides and talking to Opie doesn't seem to be fixing anything, I'm there also."

"I know—"

"Do _you_?" she accused. "Because this isn't the first time that some bad shit has happened to you that has pushed you to cut me off. This isn't our first fight over you not trusting me enough to let me in on what's happening to you."

"I _do_ trust you," he claimed.

Tara shook her head. "Your actions and silence say otherwise." She went back to walking.

For the remainder of the walk, they stayed in silence, each thinking of things they really wanted to tell the other but too afraid to say them. Tara wanted to know the truth of what it was that occurred during his rides with SAMCRO. She wanted to know how dangerous the job was. And she wanted to know if they were deep into some illegal shit. But, she wasn't sure Jax wanted to tell her and she was afraid of any kind of rejection that came from him.

They came to her doorstep and Tara took a deep breath. She was sure of her love for Jax and she was sure he loved her equally, but he had to be going through something that was bad enough that it didn't seem Opie could help him with.

She turned to Jax. "You're going on another run, right?"

Jax nodded. "We leave tomorrow morning."

"You'll be gone for a week?" she asked.

He gave another nod.

Another week without seeing him. Too many days of them separated lately and the few days they had together didn't seem to be going good. She thought she knew what she had to do. "Don't worry about calling me this week."

He stayed still and she felt his heart stop as well.

She looked at him in the eye. "Take the time to think. It appears to be that you have enough on your plate right now to also be worried about calling me. Blow off steam. Go on long rides. Do whatever it is you have to do, because it doesn't seem as if there's anything I can do. When you get back if you wanna talk, great. If not, then that's fine too."

He just stared at her, his face slightly broken. "Are we—?"

She knew his thoughts and knew he was going insane with worry. She closed the distance between them and reached up to give him a peck on the lips. "You're stuck with me forever, Jackson Teller."

She felt him relax. He closed his eyes and looked like he wanted to break down.

She reached up and touched him lightly. "I love you." And she sealed it with a kiss.

He wrapped his arms around her. "I love you too."

She stepped away from him and went into the house. Once inside, she felt her body starting to shake. Her tears began to come down.

Loving him sometimes hurt too much.

/

/

SNAPSHOT 5

~JAX~

The ride hadn't taken as long as they had expected. Jax was back in Charming just a few days later. He wanted to visit Tara and let her know he had come back early, but he wasn't so sure if he should. She might still need a couple more days to cool down from the fight they had had.

It was getting heavier, the things he was dealing with, and the emotions circulating inside of him were sending him over the edge. Tara had been right, he _was _keeping her out. But it wasn't for the reason she thought. He _did_ trust her—he trusted her more than he did his mother and at times his brothers; he just wasn't sure if the things he was doing, the damage he was causing, were right and/or justifiable. The kill he committed, could he have avoided it? Had there been other options? His head kept replaying the scenario and thinking of all the possible choices he could have made, but everything other than the choice he made, ended up with his best friend critically injured or worse, dead.

Jax had never seen the world as black and white, but there were things (such as taking someone else's life) that he found difficult in seeing a middle or grey ground. That man could have had kids, a family…a love oned. And due to his actions, all of those people that man loved were now living a world without him. Mayan or no Mayan—enemy or ally—Jax had been the cause of heartbreak. That was something he couldn't ignore.

But then, if he had not done a thing, then it would have been Opie in a grave. The hearts broken would have been the Sons, Piney, and Donna. How would it have affected _their _lives?

All of this was a fucked up situation, Jax recognized it. They were all soldiers trying to survive this goddamn war. Every day was a battle, every day was another day of fighting for survival. Who would be the last MC fighting, only time would tell.

Jax did his best not to think too much of this when he was around his brothers. He knew what their reactions would be if they knew he was questioning their actions. Judgment would be made and the wrong thoughts would be made of him. He shared some of these things with Ope every now and again and Ope seemed to be on the same page as Jax. But both boys never spoke of it too much in fear of concluding what they were doing was not justifiable.

The only one he really felt safe to have this discussion with was Tara, but in order for him to talk to her about this she needed to know the world. But she wasn't a part of it. And perhaps she never would be. Jax at times thought of what kind of Old Lady Tara would be in the future. Would she be like over half of the Old Ladies of the club who were constantly kept in the dark? Or would she be like Luann—Otto's wife—and be only told a few things? Or, could she turn out to be like his mother, Gemma, and become the ultimate Queen? Jax, Christened at birth, was the Prince of Charming. He was bound to rule the Sons of Anarchy when due-time came. Just a few years ago, he believed the Queen would remain being his mother since he couldn't see himself falling too deep in love with someone to let him as his father and Clay had/did with his mother. However, that was before he met Tara. He now saw someone he loved enough to enter his world of chaos and confusion. But now, all he kept thinking about was if he was able and willing to be completely selfish and let her in. Because once she was in, her world would completely change.

He saw the achievements she had made and knew the goals she had for herself. He couldn't do that to her. He couldn't ruin her future just for selfish wants.

"Hey, Jackie Boy," called out a Scottish accent from behind Jax.

Jax turned and found Chibs."What's up?"

"How was the run?" Chibs came over and greeted him with a hug.

"All went smoothly."

"Good. Some of the Tacoma guys will be coming in shortly. They're passing through. We're gonna have some bears later on."

Jax frowned. "A party?" He didn't want Tara to find out he was in town before he went to her, it would just give out the wrong impression. If TM held a party then all of Charming would find out by the next morning that the Prince was back in town. It would eventually get to Tara.

Chibs shook his head. "Just us guys. That's it."

Jax nodded, no longer worried. "Alright." He went to one of the apartments to crash for a bit. Lately, he and Ope had been renting out a room. Every now and then one of them would sleep there for the night, either because the rides they would go on would drain them or to spend the night there with their girls. They kept the room pretty decent, knowing Tara and Donna would get disgusted if they really treated it like their room. Once he got into the room, he was dead to the world.

A few hours later, he woke up to the loud sound of music blasting into his room. He got up, changed and looked outside. _Great_, he thought, _so much for a small get together_. It seemed all of Charming was there. He should have known better.

Jax made his way through the crowd and began welcoming some of the Sons from Tacoma. As he enjoyed himself, he made a mental note to himself to visit Tara in the early morning. He really didn't want her hearing about his coming back from someone other than him.

As Jax hung out with two of the guys from Tacoma, Kozik and Lee, and Opie, one of the newer Hang-Arounds made her way over to Jax's lap.

Jax raised his eyebrows at the chick for her boldness. Everyone in town knew of his serious relationship with Tara and for the last few months, he had been bringing her around the club. Since Tara had been introduced to the Crow Eaters, the girls had stayed away from him—or at least physically stopped groping him. The Crow Eaters made sure the rest of the girls in town drew away from Jax Teller. Now that he was Patched-In, it marked Tara as his Old Lady. Respect needed to be given. It didn't seem as if this girl knew how everything worked.

Jax decided to see what the girl would do, just out of curiosity.

The guys gave him praising smiles. The girl saw this as encouragement and continued her show. But what she didn't notice was that the moves she was making were very sloppy. She was overdoing everything. She wasn't smooth or confident or seemed to hold an ounce of brain, qualities that tended to make a woman very unflattering to the Sons. She was hot, of course. But looks didn't take anyone too far.

The girl now was a lot closer to him. Since he was sitting, she was now right on his lap. Her ass got closer to dick and as she leaned over to whisper to him, her chest came up to his face.

Jax tried to hide his laughter at how ridiculous she was being and was about to stop the little game, when all of a sudden the girl was off his lap in a flash and letting out a yelp of pain.

Jax didn't see everything that happened, but noticed that the slut was being thrown onto the ground; a mane of darn auburn hair was seen to be the cause of this.

_Shit_, he thought. He sprang into action. "Tara!"

"Get the fuck out!" Tara said, pushing the girl out of the clubhouse.

The girl let out another yelp of pain and let out a cry. She hurried out of there.

The guys began to cheer Tara for the ass-whooping she gave the girl.

Although it had not been his girlfriend's first brawl, Jax was still surprised by the fight in Tara. She wasn't the shy girl she had first appeared to be that day he met her. Every day he knew her, that fire in her grew.

Tara's eyes lit on fire. "Who the fuck was that?"

Jax knew he needed to calm her down before she completely lost it. "Tara, that was nothing—"

Wrong choice of words. Those only made her angrier. "_Nothing_?! That bitch was grinding up against your dick!"

He stared at her, not responding. He knew anything else he said would only make things worse.

She waited, crossing her arms.

He shook his head. "I wasn't gonna fuck her, if that's what you're assuming. I'm with _you_, Tara."

"Are you? Because I would think you would have told me you were back in town," she accused. "Imagine my surprise when I come in and see you grinding up against some whore."

Jax looked around, everyone was staring. He leaned over to her. "Can we talk about this in the room?"

Tara noticed how many people were surrounding them. She didn't say a word and marched over to the apartment he and Opie rented.

Jax followed. Once inside of the room, he closed and locked the door.

Tara turned to him, her arms crossed.

Jax just stared at her, waiting for her to say the first words. He didn't want to be the one to continue on with this stupid argument.

She finally spoke. "Why didn't you tell me you were back in town?"

Jax looked at her straight in the eye. "It was a long ride, I fell asleep. Plus, I thought you still wanted time—"

"So, that's an excuse for you to go ahead and start screwing some whore? Because we're having a fight and taking a breather?" Tara accused.

He took a deep breath. "I'm not cheating on you, Tara. I never once did. Even if you hadn't come in when you did, I would have never taken her to bed."

"You wouldn't have?" she challenged.

She didn't believe him. She didn't believe that was faithful to her. The accusation hurt him deeply.

"You've been distant from me, Jax. It wouldn't surprise me that all of those supposed _runs _were really just moments you were off screwing another girl."

Jax shook his head at her, disgusted by her accusations and thoughts she had of him. "You really think if I was cheating on you, it wouldn't have come back around already? My mother would have already given you pictures—this entire town would have placed posters throughout Main St if that were the case."

She looked down, looking a bit ashamed and began to walk away.

He wasn't done. He wasn't anywhere being done. She had pushed him and he wanted to push her back. "Gonna walk away again? Not ready to confront your feelings like a grown-up, darlin'?" He knew she hated the nickname; knew it drove her nuts when he used it on her because it put her on the same level as all the other females in the world.

He felt her anger bursting out of her. She turned to him, hell written all over her face. "You can't blame me for thinking what I thought. Not after what I saw."

"You saw a slut making a fool of herself and you know it. Everyone in the room saw it as a joke—no one except for you took it seriously."

"And that's what's so fucked up!" Tara yelled at him. "That _I'm _the only one that saw it as _disgusting_ and _degrading_! You have _no_ respect for me, Jax. A girl can just come up to you and grope you and kiss you and I'm just supposed to be _ok_ with that? Or is it just not ok when I'm around? Behind my back the Crow Eaters and Hang Arounds and the sluts of San Joaquin can come up to you and pleasure you all they want—is that how it's going to be?" Tears began to appear and she was losing control of her voice. It was cracking every now and again.

Jax made a step towards her, feeling like a complete dick for not considering the points she had just made.

Tara stepped away from him. "I'm fucking sick of this. I can't be with you, if you can't respect me the way I need to be respected." She walked out of the room, doing her best to compose herself.

Jax chased after her. "Tara."

Tara didn't stop walking. She made her way through the crowd.

"Tara!" He reached her and took her arm. He came close to her. "Babe, I—"

She cringed and brought her hand up, slapping him right across the face. "Don't!"

His cheek stung, but the shock he felt was more powerful.

He turned back to her. Her face had lost all its coloring. She looked just as confused as he did. Then, Rachel stepped in and took Tara. "Let's get you home."

Tara allowed her friend to drag her out of the clubhouse.

After a few moments of standing there, Jax noticed that everyone had witnessed the event. He did his best to compose himself and noticed a tall, dark figure right next to him. It was his mother. She looked a little smug.

"Didn't you say Tara was a straight arrow? A complete innocent?" Gemma asked, mockingly. "Didn't look so innocent when she packed a punch on that chick, not the mention that slap she just gave you."

Jax gave her a stare. "Stay out of it, Mom." Then, he walked over to his bike. He needed air.

/

/

SNAPSHOT 6

~TARA~

[May 14, 1996; Tuesday; 3PM]

Tara was in the park, sitting on a bench and waiting. She looked around to see if he was already there.

That morning, she had called Jax at the clubhouse and left a message with Piney—thankfully, it had been him that had answered and not Jax's mother. She told Piney to let Jax know that she would be at the park waiting for him. She felt awful about the night before and wanted—and _needed_—to apologize to him. She had been out of line. Lately, she that's all she had been doing though. She kept doing things that were unlike her and she was pushing Jax further away because of them.

She turned back to the playground. It was an unusually busy day there at the park. There were a lot of moms with their kids here. Tara had chosen the park because she had wanted to talk to Jax in private. Somewhere they wouldn't get interrupted. Hopefully, the kids and moms would stay to themselves and not disturb them.

"What's up?" asked a deep voice behind her.

It startled her. She turned and found Jax standing there.

He wore a dark, red mark across his face. Tara instantly felt bed. "Hi."

He didn't answer back. He was still pissed.

Tara got up slowly. "I'm—I'm _so _sorry about last night, Jax. I was way out of line. I should haven't—"

Jax shook his head. "You know, I really don't need an apology from you."

Tara's heart started racing nervously. "But—"

He stopped her. "No buts, Tara. I'm so…_sick _of it. Sick of it all." He didn't look like himself. No trace of gleam was in his eyes.

"Sick of what?" she was afraid to ask, but did so anyway.

"Everything. The club, school, work, you. Everything is just too much. Something is going to have to give."

Tara started to feel nauseous.

He looked right at her. "I gave up school this morning. Spoke with Mr. Abel and the principal. It's done. I'm not graduating."

Tara nodded. "If you feel it's right, I'm glad you're doing so."

He didn't say anything for a few moments, but then continued. "It's not enough, though. There's still too much on my plate."

The sickness in her stomach grew. "You gonna start to take less hours at work?"

He stared at her blankly.

Tara prayed to the god she didn't believe in for Jax to answer that answer with a 'yes'.

Jax shook his head slightly. "I'm done," he said in a low and monotone voice.

Tara waited, thinking he had more to say.

But he just simply stared at her, no emotion showing.

At first, Tara couldn't feel anything. The blood in her had stopped circulating, preventing her from breathing, from moving, from living. This couldn't be happening. Slowly, though, the feelings began to sink in her. The words he had just told her and what they meant began to wake her up from the frozen state she was in.

Then, her mouth started moving and her hands started shaking. She wasn't sure what she was saying, but she was saying it at the top of her lungs. She called him every name in the book. She slapped him, she kicked him, she threw things at him—what they were, she had no idea. She was a rage. A rage she didn't know she could ever be in.

He tried to calm her down, but it didn't help. He only angered her more.

She was in the middle of hitting his arms, when all of a sudden, she was pulled off.

"Miss, you gotta calm down!" came the voice that was holding on to her.

She didn't listen. She made a jump towards the fucker that had just broke her heart.

"You're in a public place; please keep it down," said the voice.

Tara turned and saw the man was wearing a uniform and the name 'Bowden' displayed across his chest. An officer. She didn't give a shit. Plus, he had to be new. She had never seen him before.

She pushed off of the cop. "Fuck off," muttered Tara.

"Excuse me?" asked the officer, clearly bothered by her response.

Jax came a little closer to her. "Tara," Jax said warningly.

She glared at him. "What?!"

He was now right next to her. "Will you calm down? You're gonna get arrested again."

She didn't like him being this close. She pushed him off. "As if you fucking give a shit!"

Jax reached over to her and tried to grab her hand. "Tara—"

"Leave me alone! Go find a blond whore and continue fucking her for all I care!" As she walked straight, she noticed a trash can in her way and she pushed it away.

"Miss!" called out officer Bowden. "You're gonna have to pick that up."

"Screw you," Tara called out.

"Excuse me?"

Jax was now at her side. "Tara, you're making things worse."

She lashed out at him again. "I don't give a fuck! Do you hear me?! I. Don't. Give. A. Fuck! Don't come close to me!"

But then the officer was next to her. "Miss, put your hands behind your head," ordered Officer Bowden.

Tara gave him a get-the-fuck-away-from-me look.

"Get your hands behind your head or I'm gonna have to charge you for resisting arrest as well," he stated.

"_As well_?" she asked.

"I'm arresting you on charges of Disorderly Conduct. Hands behind your head."

"This is fucking unbelievable," she stated.

"Miss. Do as you're asked," his voice was getting louder.

"Sir, it was a mistake. Please, just let me take her home," said Jax.

The officer turned to him. "I'm taking you too, young man. After I finish putting _her _in handcuffs, you're next."

Tara cursed again. Reason made its way back to her. She cave and did as the officer told. Then, she and Jax were put in the back of the cop car and then were held in two separate cells at the Charming Police Department.

/

/

~JAX~

Jax didn't think twice of what his actions were going to be when he saw Frank Knowles drinking at one of Charming's many pubs that night. He hurried over to the Knowles' home. He parked where he usually did and made his way to the back yard and to Tara's room. Once there, he went directly to the window and gave it a push. Strange. It wouldn't budge. He tried again. No luck. Jax stared at it in confusion. It was locked.

He tapped on the window, noticing a dim light inside. Tara was more than likely reading.

A few seconds later the room light came on and the blinds to the window were pushed open. On the other side of the window was Tara, looking as unhappy as he had last seen her a few hours ago at the police station.

He gave her a small wave hello.

She opened the window and didn't move from her spot.

"You locked it?" he asked, confused as to why she did.

She gave him a cold look. "Well, there's no reason to leave it unlocked anymore. I don't have a boyfriend anymore to crawl through it."

He deserved it. His head hung a little in shame. "Can I come in?"

"My dad might wake up. I really don't want to get into another argument with him right now," Tara explained.

Jax pushed his way through. "He's gone. I saw him drinking at a pub with Piney and some other guys."

Tara frowned. "I didn't hear the truck."

"He must have walked. Or Piney picked him up."

Tara let out a sigh and crossed her arms. "What do you, Jackson?"

It was time for him to crawl on all fours. "I'm sorry, babe. What I said earlier today, I didn't mean. I was pissed and broke up out of spite. I was an idiot. I don't want to break up."

Tara didn't answer for a while. She seemed to be considering her options—weighing the responses she was going to give to him. Finally, she spoke. "You can't do that to me, Jax."

She was accepting him back. Jax wanted to jump for joy, but he held back. There was still a lot of damage to mend. "I know. I shouldn't have said that."

"Then, why _did_ you?" she demanded to know. Her voice was low and full of hurt.

Jax hung his head low, ashamed. "I don't know."

She pushed him, hard. "Don't give me that shit! _Don't_ lie to me. You _know_ why, you just don't want to tell me. I want to know." She waited for his response.

But he didn't know how to.

This pissed her off even more. "_Tell_ me!" Again, she pushed him.

"The neighbors are gonna call the cops," Jax warned.

"I don't care! I want to know why the hell you would say something like that. Why you would break up with me without an explanation," she demanded.

"_You've_ done it before! _You've_ wanted to call it quits!" he accused her. The moment it came off his lips, he wanted those words brought back. He shouldn't have said it because he knew this was only going to make this argument worse than it already was.

The look on her face told him she was holding herself back from attacking him. "Oh, so this is _payback_?! Should I remind you of the reason _why_ I wanted to break up last year?! Should I remind you that your crazy-ass_ mother_ gave me pictures of you _fucking_ some bitch?! Did you _forget_ that part? Cuz I sure as hell didn't!"

He hated when she screamed at him like this. It reminded him of his mother. "I remember, ok," he snapped at her.

Her anger still remained the same. "And do you not think that that qualified enough reason for me to believe you had _cheated _on me, which lead me to want to break up?"

He stayed silent.

"It was your _mom_ who drove me to do it! If it hadn't been for her crazy-ass, none of that would have happened!"

Her screaming was driving him insane. "I'm sorry about my mother, ok. But I have no control over her insanity!"

"Yeah, but you have control over _your_ anger! And it seems as if you don't give a care of who you hurt when your anger _is _out of control."

He didn't respond because she was right. He screamed, yelled, and said things he ended up regretting when he was angry. And lately, he'd been having a lot of anger. What it was that was causing it, he had no idea. Maybe it _was_ the killing he had just committed. Maybe it was all the pressure Clay was giving him. Maybe it was the responsibilities his fellow SAMCRO members were laying on him whenever they were out for a run. Maybe it was Tara constantly wanting to talk when he had no desire to. It was all too much for an 18-year-old to handle. But it didn't justify the mistreatment he was giving Tara, the person he most loved and treasured in his life.

Those few hours they were broken up had felt too empty, cold, and worthless. He never wanted to feel that way again. Just knowing that she was right at his side for whenever he needed support put him at ease. He might not be ready and/or willing to let out his confused emotions out loud, but the fact that knowing Tara was right there for when he was ready to take that step gave him comfort.

She needed something. She needed to know that he wanted her, needed her, and would _be_ there with her (both physically and emotionally). "I can't make sense of it, Tara. That's the truth. There's…_things_ I've gotten myself into that I don't think I can say out loud right now. I need time to think of these things on my own. I need to wrap my head right around it before I start talking to anyone about it," he explained.

She didn't say anything for a while. Then, she slowly nodded. "I'm fine with that, Jax. But, I just don't want you to take that confusion and turn it into anger towards me or anyone else. It's not fair."

"You're right, it isn't. And I _swear_ to you that I'm gonna do my best to make all of this right. As soon as I can make sense of it all, you'll be the first to know," he vowed.

Tears came down and she gave him a nod.

He came closer to her and wrapped her around his arms. "I love you, Tara."

"I love you, Jackson."

And he held her all night.

* * *

**AN**: With the kind of life Jax is living, it's difficult for him to be in a relationship with Tara. Everything is new to him and there are so many moral questions going through his head, he doesn't know who to turn to. However, I believe he doesn't try talking to anyone because I think _he_ believes this is something he must go through by himself. Every member of the Sons has done something that they don't _talk _about (examples: Juice making his first kill in season 4, Chibs losing his family to another man which was explained during season 3, Opie dealing with Donna's death, Jax killing Kohn and then witnessing his best friend's brutal death during seasons 1 and 5 respectively), they keep it all in because they feel as men they _need_ to. That's what Jax is doing, but what he's not noticing is that it is in fact affecting Tara. I had brought it up before in chapter 7, but in this chapter it's full scale. I think that Jax owning up to his faults is big on his part and Tara respects it—what she doesn't respect is Jax just completely cutting her off.

However, the world Jax is a part of is not for everyone. Tara is going to have to learn how to be a part of that world if she wants to be with Jax. In this chapter, he's facing that reality: in order to be with Tara, she will have to start giving some things up. He's going through a similar dilemma he went through in season 3 when he was debating on whether he is willing to be selfish enough to do that do her. In this chapter it's not as profound as it was during that season, but it's a foreshadowing of what is to come in the future. And in the next chapters we're gonna see not only how greatly Jax wants Tara in his life, but also how desperately Tara _desires_ to be with him and the great measures she'll go through to be with him.

Sorry for the long note. Now, review, review, reviiiiiiew! :D

**DATE**: 7/15/13


	10. Wildest Moments

**CHAPTER ****10**: "Wildest Moments" Jessie Ware

**SUMMARY**: Tara has come to the realization that in order to be with Jax, she has to be a part of the world he lives in. She believes Jax is unsure whether she can belong in his world or not and she vows to show him (and his bitchy mother) that she can. There's some SMUT towards the end of this chapter too. ;D Enjoy!

**TIME PERIOD**: Thursday, June 27th; 1996

* * *

~JAX~

The rattling against the door was what woke up Jax from his deep slumber. He let out a groan and opened up his eyes. A dark, auburn mane clouded his vision, though.

Tara stirred a bit, also coming awake.

Jax gave her crown a kiss and began to slowly move away from the bed, not wanting to disturb her.

The rattling came again.

Jax immediately regretted sleeping over at the apartment. One of his brothers always tended to ruin it the next morning.

Jax looked over at the clock. 8:06. _Great_. He grabbed his boxers and pulled them on. He began to walk towards the door and looked back to make sure Tara was descent before he opened it up.

She was deep inside the sheets now.

Jax unlocked the door and turned the knob. "What?" he demanded without knowing who was on the other side.

It was Opie. He had a serious face.

Jax frowned. "What's up?"

"We're having Church," Opie explained. "5 minutes. The others are waiting."

Something big must have happened if there was a meeting being called this short of a notice. Jax gave his best friend a nod. "Give me a minute."

Opie nodded.

Jax began to get ready.

Tara was now out of the sheets and sitting up on the bed. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know." Jax grabbed his pants and pulled them on and began to look around for his shirt.

"You think it'll be for long?"

Jax shrugged, pulling on his cut. "I don't know. Give me an hour. If we're not done by then, I might have to take a rain check for today."

They had planned on spending the day in Stockton. Tara had already been looking forward to it all week. There was a little disappointment in her face.

"I'm sorry, babe."

Tara shook her head. "It's ok."

Jax went over to the bathroom to take a piss, clean his teeth, and wash his face.

Once he came out, he saw Tara was dressed. "You're leaving?"

"I'm gonna call Donna to see if she wants to get a cup of coffee. When you're done, come find me." Tara began to put on her shoes.

Jax nodded. "Alright." He leaned over and kissed her. "See you in a bit."

"Ok."

Jax grabbed his keys and left the room. Once he stepped into the clubhouse, he saw everyone was there waiting. He closed the door and took his seat, which was right next to Opie's.

The meeting started. The President of the Tacoma charter had been killed by a small MC crew up in Washington the night before. The members of the charter went after the MC and took a few down, but the one responsible for the death had gotten away. There was reason to believe that a big gang in Seattle was giving him shelter. The charter in Tacoma was small and Olympia gave a hand, but they too were limited. The gang had a lot of fire power, more than the Sons could handle. The Sons were of no match. They needed major back up.

Originally, Rogue River was to head up, but once Clay found out about it, he wanted to go up himself with a few others. Rogue River weren't too bad of fighters and could probably handle it. But Clay wanted to really hit the gang and small MC with an iron fist. SOA had just lost a President. Hard measures needed to be taken.

The vote was unanimous; Redwood Original would be heading up to Tacoma that same day. It was an 11-hour ride, so they needed to leave as soon as possible.

However, not everyone was to leave. Clay ordered Bobby, Chibs, Otto, Happy, and Piney to stay behind and watch after Charming. Only Clay, the Sergeant-at-Arms, and the youngest members would drive up.

As soon as the gavel came down, Jax got up from his seat and started to head out. He needed to immediately find Tara and let her know that their plans were being canceled.

"Where are you going?" asked Tig as he came up behind Jax.

Jax turned. "Gonna go get some stuff."

"We gotta go right now, man. Just grab some of your clothes you have at the apartment."

"I gotta get some shit too," said Opie.

Tig looked at both of them and shook his head in disgust. "Nah, nah, nah, man! I know where the two of you are going. Other than Clay, you ain't got no one to report to. Talk to your girls when you come back. They don't need to know that you're gone. It's not their business."

Jax shook his head. He loved his brother, but when it came to women, he was the last person Jax ever wanted to take advice from. "Leave it alone, Tig."

"That's the first thing that came to your minds when you were told you were gonna be gone, wasn't it?" Tig accused. "That you needed to go tell your girls about it."

Jax stopped walking. "Is there a problem with that?"

"Yeah," said Tig, stopping too. "Because it's shit like that that will make you forget your first priority."

"We _know_ our first priority." This time, it was Opie who answered.

Tig shook his head. "It's bound not to be once you two get deeper in them. You can't plan your lives around them."

"Shut up, Tig." Jax continued walking.

But Tig wasn't done. "She won't be in your life much longer, you know that right?"

"Tig, back off," warned Opie.

"It's the truth, man. The smart girl don't look the type to be hanging around much with this crowd—this world. She's not capable of being an old lady. You gotta be a tough as nails type of gal to put up with a group like us."

It took all of Jax's will power to not throw a punch at his sick-ass brother. He got close to the curly haired Son. "She _is_ an old lady. _My _old lady. And the next time you talk this kind of bullshit to me again, I'll have you eating the concrete."

"Oh, yeah," challenged Tig. "Try it, kid."

Opie came in between them. "Easy."

Tig gave Jax a dirty look and walked over to his bike.

Opie was still holding Jax back. "Don't listen to the asshole. He's a miserable piece of shit."

Before Jax could respond, he found his mother coming up to him.

She was looking towards Tig. "Everything ok?" she asked her son.

Jax just shook his head. "Clay talk to you yet?"

Gemma shook her head no. "What's going on?"

"We gotta go up to Tacoma. I'm sure he'll give you the details. Ope and I gotta go get some clothes since we're gonna be up there for a few days. Then, we gotta go say goodbye to the girls. Then we're leaving," Jax said.

Gemma got a look in her face. "If you guys are only gonna be gone for a few days there's no need to—"

"Mom, I'm not in the mood," Jax said, interrupting her. He knew his mother's feelings towards his girlfriend. Gemma constantly criticized and ranted about Tara to Jax. Most of the time, Jax would walk away from it, but there were times he would snap at his mother to mind her own business. It was one of the main reasons why he stayed at the apartment most of the time. He hated being near his mother. And he knew she hated that he was gone from home, because she knew exactly who he was with.

Then, from the corner of his eye, he saw Tara walking towards him. He turned to her and met her half way. "Hey. I thought you had left."

"I was and then I saw Donna was here. She came with Ope. We figured we would wait for an hour and if you guys hadn't come out by then, we would go get some breakfast," Tara explained. She then turned to Gemma and gave a discomforted smile. "Good morning Mrs. Teller-Morrow."

Gemma had a sour look on her face. "Hey." She turned back to Jax. "Well, honey. I hope you guys have fun up there these next few days—you guys always do." Then, she leaned over and kissed her son on the cheek. With an evil smirk on her face, she left.

Jax wished he had a rock near enough to throw at her.

Tara looked shocked and hurt. "You're leaving?"

Jax took a deep breath. "Yeah. There's an emergency over at Tacoma. It shouldn't be long. Just a few days."

Tara didn't respond.

"I'm sorry, babe." He reached over and placed her face in his hands. "I'll make it up to you." He leaned down and kissed her fully on the lips.

She didn't respond back, though. When he pulled back, she was looking down.

He caressed her face. "Believe me, babe. I want to be here with you. There's just shit that came in the way."

"It's ok," she said in a small voice.

"I love you," he said.

She looked up briefly to look him in the eye to give him her response. "I love you."

He kissed her once again and walked over to his bike.

He noticed Opie talking to Donna. "Gotta go, Ope."

Ope turned towards his best friend and gave a nod.

Jax got into his bike and pulled on his glove, helmet, and sunglasses. As he turned on the engine, Opie got to his bike.

He sent out Tara a peace sign of goodbye and he rolled out of TM.

/

/

~TARA~

As the guys got on their bikes and drove off, Tara stared after them.

She then turned and saw Donna only a few yards away. Tara went over to Donna, who was hanging out with a friend of the Club's, Laurie-Lynn. While most of the other women who hung around TM tended to be airheads, slutty, whose sole goal was to become an old lady, Laurie-Lynn was none of that. She didn't sleep around with SAMCRO or any of the Hang Arounds. She claimed to have been friends with the club since the start, but never gave more detail than that. Tara, Rachel, Donna had taken a great liking to her. Not only was Laurie-Lynn great company, but at times proved to be of good use. Because she knew the club for two decades, she was able to answer questions Tara and Donna had about the SOA.

As Tara got closer to Donna and Laurie-Lynn, the older woman stared after Gemma. "What'd the bitch want?"

Another great quality of Laurie-Lynn and reason why Tara loved her, Laurie-Lynn and Gemma did not get along. In fact, Laurie-Lynn was probably the only one who didn't kiss ass to the Queen. Once, Laurie-Lynn and Gemma got close to a cat fight. Unfortunately, it was broken up before it even began.

Tara rolled her eyes at thinking of the coldness Gemma had given her. Tara knew that Gemma was hoping to get Tara upset by bringing up the fact that Jax would be gone for the next few days. The woman certainly always wanted to displease her. "Nothing. She's just being a bitch like always."

"Don't let her get to you, sweetie," Laurie-Lynn said with encouragement.

Tara took a seat right next to them as she looked over at Gemma, who had pulled out some paperwork from her purse and was talking to one of the mechanics about something. The movement she had made had brought down her blouse a little, revealing ink across her chest.

Tara had always wondered what the mark was, but she could never make it out. She had almost asked Jax what it was, but something held her back.

Tara turned to Laurie-Lynn "Laurie-Lynn, what is that on Gemma's chest?" Tara asked as she tried to make out what was the tattoo was on Gemma's skin.

Laurie-Lynn turned to see what Tara was talking about. "A tattoo."

Tara gave Laurie-Lynn a look. "I know that. But what is it exactly?"

"It's a crow with a heart in the middle."

Tara frowned at this. _Odd_, she thought. "What does it mean?"

"It means she's an Old Lady. The crow—as you know—is one of the many symbols of SAMCRO. The heart in the middle of that crow represents the old lady."

Tara thought about this. "I don't see any of the other old ladies with it."

"Not many do. It's for _exclusive_ old ladies only. The girlfriends, baby mamas, even wives of the Sons don't matter." Laurie-Lynn took out her cigarettes and offered them to the girls, which they both declined. "Typically, an old lady doesn't stay around much. So far, only Gemma has. Luann—Otto's old lady—seems to be sticking around. I think I can count in one hand how many women have gotten that tattoo. And all except one still have it."

Tara looked back at Gemma, who turned at that precise moment as well. The two exchanged a long and sour look. If she was able to, Gemma would be throwing fiery knives towards Tara right now. That or bombs.

Tara couldn't help but be scared of the woman. Gemma Teller-Morrow looked as if she could easily kill anyone who she had a strong disliking to. And Tara knew she was on top of that list. But even though the woman scared the shit out of her, Tara refused for that fear to show on the outside. She stood her ground, not looking away from her boyfriend's bitchy mother.

Gemma sent Tara a scoffing look and finally turned away.

Tara knew better than to think she had won the stare-off battle. Gemma was mocking her. She saw Tara as not being capable of handling her and saw it funny that Tara pretended to be able to put up with her. Gemma thought the way Laurie-Lynn was describing. No woman was able to handle this club. Only she, who had been married to two Presidents of the SOA, was strong enough.

It frustrated Tara in thinking anyone could see her as weak. People tended to believe what she and Jax had was only temporary. No one seemed to think their relationship was at all serious. What was it that she had to do to prove to everyone that what she felt for Jax was real?

Then, she thought of something.

"How do you get the tattoo?"

Laurie-Lynn stared at Tara for a little while, thinking and looking a bit puzzled. But then, a small smile spread across her face. "They need to get the ok from the SAMCRO member first. After that one of the few artists in SAMCRO tattoo the Old Lady. The design is very specific and only the Sons possess that design."

"Did the other old ladies get it anywhere else in their body? Or were they like Gemma and have it on their chests?" asked Tara.

"The rest have gotten it on the ankles or arms. Gemma's the only one who has it on her chest."

"Who in SAMCRO does tattoos?"

"At the moment, only Happy. There was another member, but he transferred to another charter early last year."

Tara nodded and thought silently.

"Tara, what are you planning?" Laurie-Lynn asked with some concern in her voice.

Tara looked up at the woman and didn't say a word. She had a feeling Laurie-Lynn would not like what Tara was planning on doing.

But Laurie-Lynn didn't need to be told. She knew. "Tara, think it through very well. This is serious—permanent. Even those ex-old ladies are branded forever."

The way Laurie-Lynn was speaking told Tara that she was another person who didn't believe in the love Tara and Jax had. "Jax and I _are_ serious—permanent."

The older woman let out a heavy sigh and shook her head slightly. "You're young, sweetie. You have no idea if this is going to be your life. For your sake, I hope it isn't." She then turned to Donna. "For _both _of your sakes. You're good girls and deserve a hell of a lot more."

Tara saw the hurt in Donna's face. It never had dawned on Tara before then: Donna was in the same position Tara was in. Donna's relationship was also not taken seriously by most of Charming; she and Opie had the same amount of allies as Jax and Tara: Rachel and Piney.

Laurie-Lynn saw the hurt she caused the girls. "I love SAMCRO—they're good men. But the world they live in can be poisonous and kill a person. I've seen all relationships crumple because of it—even Gemma and John weren't getting along towards the end."

"We're not like them," Donna said defensively.

Laurie-Lynn didn't say anything. She looked down and had a look of pity on her face.

Tara wanted to shout back out of anger, but Donna beat her to it. "Don't pity us," she said pissed off. "You don't know us."

Laurie-Lynn's face came back up, determined. "Oh, but I do, sweetheart. I've known many of you."

"Not like us. Opie isn't like the rest of them—you've said it yourself. He's smart, compassionate, and caring. And I'm no Crow Eater. I don't want to be with him for the reputation and power. I want to be with him because I love _him_."

Laurie-Lynn stared at Donna for a long while, then finally spoke. "Love is not enough, sweetie."

Donna looked to want to argue some more, but she took a breath and took Tara's hand. "Come on."

Tara was too baffled to say anything and just followed her friend. "Where are we going?"

"We're going to go see Happy," Donna stated with determinism.

Maybe it was because she wanted to prove a point. Maybe it was because she too was angry over what Laurie-Lynn had said about SAMCRO destroying all relationships. Maybe it was because Donna had never been so bold before. Maybe it was because she wanted to piss the hell out of Gemma. Whatever the reason was, Tara followed Donna out of TM. Both girls were on Main Street just a few minutes later.

When they stopped, Tara was confused where they were. Then, she turned and saw they were in front of a tattoo parlor.

Donna took a peek through the window. "I've seen Happy come in here all the time. Seeing that it's the only tattoo parlor in town, I'm betting this is where he works."

Tara peered inside as well. She saw a dark figure on a chair, drawing something. It was a Son. Tara looked everywhere else she could see and didn't find anyone else.

"Ok, so it looks like there's no one else in there. Perfect." Donna reached over to the handle.

However, Tara stopped her friend. "Wait!"

Donna looked taken aback. "Why?"

Tara looked inside where only Happy could be seen. The same scowl was marked across his face. Suddenly, her heart began to beat a little faster. "Um…"

Her short friend looked confused. "What?"

"It's just that…" Tara didn't think she could say it. She felt if she spoke her worries out loud then they might be true.

"What?" Donna demanded.

Tara took a deep breath and finally said it, "He kinda scares me."

Donna rolled her eyes and shook her head. "You don't have to fear Happy; he wouldn't do anything to you."

"I don't think he would either, but something tells me that he's one of the most feared members." Tara thought back to the feelings she tended to have when she was around Happy. The guy looked anything _but_. He appeared to always be in a bad mood and that any small thing could set him off. Once, when she asked Jax what Happy did for the club, Jax said that Happy was an enforcer. Tara didn't need nor _want _to know more. The title sounded frightening enough.

"Well, _you_ don't have to worry about him. We're just gonna be in there for a couple of hours with him. It'll be fine." Donna tried to make Tara feel better.

But this fact only made Tara more nervous. "Yeah, we're gonna be _alone_ with him for a few hours. That makes me feel better."

"Well, he's the only one that can do this for us. So, what's it gonna be?" asked Donna. She looked like she was getting impatient.

Tara weighed her options. She could just opt out and pretend this idea had never occurred to her. Or she could suck it up, put her worries aside, and go through with the plan. It took her a minute, but she finally gave in. "Fine. Let's go."

Donna gave a beaming smile. She turned around and grabbed the door handle.

Happy's head snapped up, a look of wonder coming through his face. It looked as if he wasn't expecting anyone.

"Hi, Happy," Donna said as she walked through the tattoo parlor's door. Tara slowly made her way in.

Happy looked up gave a nod greeting to both girls. "What can I do for you girls?"

Tara turned to Donna. It might have been her own idea, but Donna could take the lead on this one since she looked comfortable enough with the scary SAMCRO.

"Tara and I want to get a tattoo and we were told you're the best in Charming."

"Alright. Do you have something in mind?"

"We do."

He waited.

Donna turned to Tara, giving her a look of encouragement.

Tara took a breath. "A crow with a heart in the middle of it."

Happy just stared at them for a moment, contemplating on what to say. "Do Opie and Jax know about this?"

"We thought we'd surprise them," answered Donna.

Happy hesitated.

Donna jumped in. "Happy, you've known Jax, Opie, and me since you've been SAMCRO. Do you really think I'm going anywhere? And in all the years you've known Jax, and have seen how drastically he's changed since he and Tara got together, do you think he'll ever leave her?"

He still didn't answer.

"We're their old ladies. Everyone knows this."

Still, he did not answer.

Donna's face turned serious. "Happy, you owe me."

There was a long pause. Something on Happy's face changed. His eye twitched a little.

Donna gave him a knowing smile, as if challenging him.

Tara didn't think Happy could look any angrier than how he did now.

The two continued to stare at each other. Then finally, Happy spoke. "If Jax and Ope get on my ass—"

"Trust me, we won't let that happen," Donna promised.

The tattoo artist nodded. "Where do you want it?"

Donna turned to Tara.

"I'll go get everything ready while the two of you think about it," Happy said and left the room towards the back.

Tara thought for a moment. "I don't want it somewhere everyone can see."

"Me neither. Not only does it look tacky and unprofessional, but I'm too self-conscious for it to be shown off."

Tara nodded and thought a little more. Then, as a joke, she said. "Tramp stamp?"

Donna laughed for a moment, but then her face turned a little serious. "You know it would work in different ways. It's somewhere no one else would really see—the guys would like the private show and we could still get good jobs. And there's also the irony—Donna and Tara, two of the most brilliant girls in Charming…with tramp stamps."

Both girls laughed.

Then, Tara nodded. "Sounds good."

As the two girls waited for Happy, Tara asked Donna a question in low voice. "So, what do you have against Happy that made him cave?"

Donna smiled. "You have to promise not to tell—not even Rachel. She'll spill it to everyone."

Tara nodded. "Promise."

Donna looked over to see if Happy was overhearing. "It happened over a year ago—back when he was renting out one of the apartments at TM. One night, I was staying the night there with Opie. It was late and I had gotten up to get a glass of water. When I went back to the apartment, I guess I opened the wrong door because I saw there was a naked woman in the bed and a brown man standing over her—obviously not Opie. So, I look up to see who it was and it was Happy. He looked white as a sheet. I immediately apologize and close the door. As I'm standing there, trying to get over my embarrassment, I begin to think about why Happy looked so frightened. And as I think about it, I rewind the scene." Donna began to giggle. Her voice got lower as she whispered the last part. "He was wearing women's lingerie." She couldn't stop the giggles.

Tara was shocked. "No!"

Donna nodded, trying to contain her laughter. "Bustier, undies, even the damn nylons."

Tara could not stop laughing either. Who would have thought?

/

/

~JAX~

Early Tuesday morning, Jax hurried across Tara's backyard. He had arrived the night before. They had Church right after arriving and it had gone late. Otto had gotten himself into a bit of a net with some cops after crossing over to California from Oregon and the club was trying to come up with a plan on how to get him out of it.

It was so late by the time the meeting ended, that Jax and Opie decided to crash at their apartment for the night. Both teenagers silently told themselves they would wake up early and head over to their girlfriends' houses.

Jax was the first one to wake up. He had gotten dressed and just as he was heading out of the apartment, he saw Opie waking up.

Now, just a few minutes later, Jax hurried over to Tara's window. He was impatient in seeing her. Quickly, he opened up her window and climbed in. He knew he could have just gone to the front door and knocked. Her father wasn't home, so Jax wouldn't have to deal with the drunkard. But if she was still asleep, he didn't want to wake her. Once inside of her room, he saw she was in fact still in bed.

But she must have heard him because she was beginning to stir.

Jax took off his shoes and cut.

She turned to him and gave him a sleepy smile. "Hey, you."

Her face just lit something in him. "Morning."

Tara began to sit up.

"No, stay. The bed actually looks comfortable." He grinned at her wickedly as he climbed in.

She giggled.

He wrapped his arms completely around her. "Missed you." He sealed the truth with a deep kiss.

Tara threaded her fingers in his hair and let out a gratifying moan. She pulled away slightly. "Did you just get here?"

"No. Late last night. I was beat. Crashed at the apartment."

She gave him a teasing smile. "Spent the night again with Opie?"

He returned the smile. "Yeah. You know I have a thing for gorilla-like men."

Tara let out a heartfelt laugh. "I'll be sure to warn Donna."

He leaned over and began to kiss her again. He placed his hands lower on her back and began to pull off her shirt.

Tara began to pull away. "Wait, wait, wait, wait."

He didn't stop. "What is it?"

Tara let out a giggle. "I need to show you something."

He let out a disappointed groan. "What?" he whined.

She beamed and began to push him off. "Take a few steps back," she said excitedly.

Jax smiled. "Ok." He did as he was told.

Tara turned around and began to raise her top.

Jax didn't understand what she as doing at first, but then he began to notice there was something there on her back. Some sort of black mark. It was huge. It covered most of her lower back. Was that a tattoo? An _old lady_ tattoo?!

"Babe, what—?"

She turned back to him, looking a little disappointed. "You don't like it."

He shook his head. "No, it's just…" He didn't know how to feel about it. He looked at her straight in the eye. "Tara, do you even know what this symbol means?"

"Of course," she said defensively.

He waited for her to explain.

"It means I'm your old lady."

Jax let out a sigh. It was one thing when he said it to Tig—he had been angry. But right now, with Tara, was he serious in seeing Tara as that role? Did he believe she could be Jax Teller's Old Lady? And better yet, did he _want _her to be? It was one thing to imagine her being his girlfriend, but it was another to fill in that role that changed a woman's life.

He thought to the lives of his mother and many of the other women in SAMCRO. They were all dependent on their men and put up with a lot of shit. Somehow, he couldn't see Tara being that kind of woman. And he didn't _want _her to be. If he was being honest, her being his old lady _would_ change her. He loved her how she was and didn't want to change a thing about her.

His silence was not making Tara feel very secure and confident on their status. "Do you see this relationship as _they _do?"

He knew who she was referring to: the club, the Hang Arounds, the town, his mother. The majority had come to care for Tara and Jax had won them over since he was a toddler. The people liked them as a couple, but they just didn't believe their futures were connected. Both were destined for great things in different directions. This wasn't a fairytale. It was real life. And in real life, the outlaw and the outstanding citizen did not live on the same side of the tracks.

That's what _they_ believed, though. Jax knew how he felt about Tara and he was certain how she felt about him. That had to be enough, right? The bond, the love, the care they shared for one another was what mattered. Everything else would fall into place.

Tara knew this. The ink on her back was proof of her faith and belief in their relationship.

Jax reached over and placed his hands on her face. "It's you and me, babe. Always." He sealed it with a kiss.

She quickly responded and kissed him deeper.

At first, their intimacy was sweet and light, but it slowly became heavier. Their lips began to take claim other parts of each other's bodies.

Tara pulled onto his t-shirt, taking it off of him in a swift motion.

Jax began to tuck at her own shirt. "I told Ope last night we would go down to Lodi with him and Donna. We're leaving at ten."

Tara nodded and leaned over to kiss him once more. "We'll leave on time." She reached down and started unbuckling his pants.

Once she had taken off his belt, he pulled down his pants and boxers.

She immediately took him into her hand and caressed him.

He let out a sharp curse. He noticed the clock on her wall said it was a little after 8AM. _Fuck_, he thought. He was going to need more than a couple of hours.

Jax took off Tara's bra and slowly kneaded each of her breasts.

She let out a moan of satisfaction.

He leaned down and began to roam his tongue along her nipple. "We'll just be a little late." His gently tugged.

Tara let out a gasp and bit his lower lip. "Hold the little." She grabbed a hold of his arms and held tightly. "Don't go slow."

He chuckled. He knew what she meant by that. "Yes, ma'am." His hands began to pull down her pants.

Most of the times, Tara prefers to feel every second of love they have for one another. She likes it slow and caring. But there are times where she prefers to feel nothing but the pleasure. As long as he was with her, he honestly didn't care how fast or slow their lovemaking was. He just wanted her.

Once her pants were tossed and her panties as well, Jax placed his fingers in his favorite place. She was drenching wet. It had been a long weekend for her.

A louder moan came out of her.

"Was it a long weekend, baby?" he asked her teasingly. He rubbed her faster.

She yelped. "Fuck!"

He enjoyed driving her crazy. He leaned over and tugged at her breast again, his fingers entering her and exploring.

She came up to her knees and began to hump his hand as he entered her.

He loved when she did that. The view was enough to almost take him over the edge.

However, after a while she grew impatient. She grabbed his dick and put it against her opening. Before Jax could work his way in, she moved down, filling herself up with one stroke.

Both let out groans of pleasure.

They created a steady rhythm, but quickly began to pick up the pace.

Jax got a hold of her hips and pumped inside of her.

The pleasure in her eyes ignited. He knew she liked how he took control sometimes.

He went into her a little harder, hitting a particular spot that he knew brought her endless pleasure.

Her eyes rolled to the back of her head. "Shit!" Her body became more loose as he continued to pump into her. Then, he felt her pussy tightening his dick. She knew he loved when she did it.

And she was right. Jax took a few deep breaths to not allow himself to cum too soon. He wrapped his arms around her waist and made rougher strokes inside of her. She was close, he knew. He moved her a bit to the side, moved her ass in an odd angle, and entered her rapidly.

She let out a loud squeal as she dug her nails into his arm. "Shit, shit, shiiiit!"

His grunts of pleasure became louder as she vibrated against his dick. Shit, he was gonna explode.

She sent out a scream of ecstasy as her body shook violently.

He felt himself reach a most gratifying end as well and clung to her tightly. He needed to feel her to know for a fact that he was still tied down to earth.

He brought them down completely onto the bed.

She snuggled against him as her shakes became controlled. She planted kisses along his chest.

Jax soothed his hand against her lower back. He looked over her shoulder and got a view on her ink again. When he saw it this time, though, he felt satisfaction. It actually looked hot on her. Tara was so well put together that the tattoo contradicted her image.

As he continued to stare at her lower back and at the crow, he felt something start to stir inside of him.

Tara let out a small laugh. "Again? That was fast?"

It took Jax a while to understand what she was referring to. But when she began to rub him, he noticed he had a hard-on.

"Baby, you keep going on like this, we're gonna be late." Tara looked up at him as she stroked him.

His eyes stayed glued on her tattoo. His dick stiffened. "Opie won't mind." He pulled her close to him and kissed her passionately.

They stayed in bed for a few more hours, trying to crave their appetite.

/

/

~TARA~

The remainder of the day was spent at Westgate Landing. The guys taught the girls how to fish, then went on a walk through one of the trails, and had a picnic together.

They had brought some sleeping bags just in case they decided to stay for the night. The girls were not wanting to sleep there, but didn't mind staying a bit longer.

Jax and Tara went on a walk by themselves, leaving Ope and Donna behind.

There weren't too many people around since it was a weekday. It almost felt as if they were by themselves.

Tara looked up at the empty sky. "It's so nice out."

Jax came closer to her. "Yeah, nice night out for a good make-out session."

Tara giggled as she felt his lips on her ear. "Is that all you ever think about, Jackson Teller?"

"Yup." He came up behind her and pulled at her shirt, letting out a groan.

"What?" she asked as she saw a different emotion come across his face.

"That tattoo is driving me fucking insane." He twisted her around to face him and began to head towards a tree, causing her to back-step. He pulled her roughly towards his lips.

Tara instantly felt a whirl of passion come over her.

Jax took a hold of her jeans buttons and began tugging.

Tara was so consumed; she didn't stop him at first.

Once her jeans were opened, Jax brought his hand inside and he began to rub her with his thick and magical fingers. She let out a sigh of pleasure. With his other hand, he groped one of her tits.

Tara looked around, a little shocked because she _wanted _to do it, but they were in such a public place. "Here?"

"Here," he said roughly and began to pulled down her pants and panties. His own pants and boxers were the next to go.

It was dark enough; they more than likely wouldn't get caught. Plus, the fact that they might get caught ignited her arousal for him.

He didn't wait for her to give him a verbal response. He felt how wet she was. He brought his hand towards her core and noticed she was wet and ready. He took himself in his hand and placed it at her opening. With a swift motion, he entered her.

"Shit!" Tara clenched harder to him, her legs becoming too weak to hold herself steady.

Jax breathed in her scent as he continued to go inside of her. The grunts and pants and moans coming from her only ignited his desire to please her more. He reached down and began to rub her, knowing full well this always seemed to drive her crazier.

"Fuuuuck!" Her nails dug deep into his arm. "Fuck! Jax."

Then, he did something he never had before. He quickly pulled out of her and turned her around.

She was now staring at the tree and a bit dazed. "Jax?"

He pushed against her, bringing her closer to the rough tree in front of her. Then, he whispered in her ear, "Let me know if you want to stop. I just—I need to—"

She let out a gasp as she felt his dick inside of her again. It was a new sensation. He was hitting something new. She let out a groan of satisfaction and began to create a rhythm.

He grabbed her by the hips and gave a bit more power to the rhythm had created. "Guess you need this too."

Her nails raked against the trunk as she gave in to the new feelings and allowed Jax take her wherever he wanted. It was clear he knew what would please her.

She felt him smile wickedly against her and as he kissed her sweaty neck. "Come on, babe." He pumped into her a little faster now.

She began to feel her body sing. This was happening so fast and it was so powerful. "Oh, god!" She gasped out in surprise to the new feeling. The fast thrusts were not allowing her to catch her breath. All she could do was feel. Every cell in her body was caught on fire. God, she never knew the pleasure Jax gave her could ever get better. But almost every time they did it, he introduced her to a new level of nirvana.

His grunts came louder and he too finally came.

He gave her one last thrust and began to pull out.

Tara let out a light laughter as she straightened herself up. "Jackson Teller, what came over you? Not that I minded, of course…."

Jax sent her a smile. "That fucking tattoo is gonna bring us trouble."

Tara giggled and gave him a wink. "So as long as it's only _my _tattoo that makes you behave this way."

Jax kissed her. "Believe me, it is." He gave her a smack on the ass. "Ready to head back? Ope and Donna are probably waiting."

Tara took his hand and the two walked towards their friends.

When they were nearing though, there was a lot of commotion. Men were arguing. Due to the darkness, it was hard to tell what exactly was going on.

Jax let go of Tara's hand the nearer they got. "Shit." He hurried over to the fight.

Tara sped up as well. She was able to see it now. Three guys were tossing around in the ground and attacking someone, who was lying flat on the ground. There was a girl standing near them, screaming out.

Jax got there and pulled one of the guys off. "Get off him!"

Tara was now close enough to see that two guys had been attacking Ope and that Donna had been the one screaming.

Tara reached Donna. "Donna, what happened?"

Donna looked to be close to tears. "Opie went to the bathroom real quick and I while I was here alone these two guys came over and started harassing me. Opie came in just as they were circling around me. He just started punching the shit out of them. But then all of them ganged up on him."

Tara turned back to the guys. Ope was fighting off two while Jax was beating the shit out of one of them. Once Jax took his guy down, he went over to help Ope with the other two.

Tara had never seen Jax in a real fight before. Sure, she had seen him horsing around with some of the other Sons, but this was real. He was playing around here. The punches he was throwing, he didn't seem to be holding back on. He _wanted_ to hurt these guys. Tara saw the guy Jax was fighting with kick Jax right on the side of his hip. Every bone inside of Tara squirmed. She wanted to step in and pull the fucker off of Jax, but she knew it would be a terrible idea. She would end up getting hurt and/or distract Jax enough that the other guy would cause Jax more harm.

Not more than a minute later, Jax and Opie won each of their fights and the two assholes were leaning over in pain.

One of the guys spit on Jax's shoes. "White trash fucker."

Jax gave him a smile and reached over to punch him hard on the face. "Shut the fuck up."

The other guy got to his feet. It seemed as if the guys got ready for round two. Luckily, some of the park rangers came in on time to stop the five men from continuing on with their brawl.

"We're gonna have to ask you gentlemen to leave," said one of the rangers. "This is a family friendly location. We do not need this kind of behavior."

Jax and Ope exchanged a look and gave each other a nod.

"Yeah, we'll go," said Jax as he straightened himself out. He turned to Tara. "Let's get our stuff and leave."

Tara nodded and walked over to where she, Jax, Ope, and Donna had left their things. Tara got her backpack and threw her stuff inside quickly. She wanted to get out of there as soon as possible; she wasn't sure what would happen if Jax and Ope were there any longer with those two assholes.

As she got up, she tried to zip up her backpack, but it was stuck. She placed it over her shoulder and told herself that once they were far away from the two guys then she would try to fix it.

Jax lead the way out. Ope and Donna were holding each other's hands and beginning to walk towards the parking lot.

As they passed the rangers and the assholes, Jax sent them a death stare. "Later, boys."

One of them stepped towards Jax, wanting a fight.

Jax wasn't one to say no, so he took a step forward as well.

The rangers got in between them and so did the other two, along with Tara.

One of the guys got close enough to Tara while they were trying to pull Jax and the guy off of each other. He was a little too close for comfort. Tara sent the guy close to her a look of disgust.

The guy gave her a cheeky smile. "What's the matter, baby? Don't like regular looking guys? You have to settle for white trash?"

Tara didn't think, she just reacted. She pushed the asshole away from her with all her might and slapped him with all her might. "Go fuck yourself."

The guy got pissed and started to come towards her.

Tara took a step back, afraid of what he might be capable of. She knew she had provoked him, but then again, so had he when he insulted Jax.

Jax stepped in right on time and pushed the guy away from Tara. "Touch her and you're fucking dead." He charged towards the guy.

Opie got back to the scene. "Let's go, brother."

Jax was looking down at the guy, a look of anger Tara had never seen before. He was almost shaking. Tara came close to him, wanting him to calm down before he got arrested by the rangers.

Ope got right in front of Jax, blocking the guy. "We don't wanna do this; not with the girls near."

Jax seemed to come to his senses then and turned to Tara, taking her by the hand this time.

The four friends got to the parking lot and as Jax got the bike ready, Tara quickly fixed the zipper to her backpack and pulled it on. She put on the helmet Jax handed her and tightened her body around Jax's waist.

Then, they drove off.

/

/

~JAX~

It was taking so much will power to not go back and kick that guy's ass. Seeing the asshole so close to Tara and with a look that said he didn't mind hitting a girl, made Jax want to beat the shit out of him.

The feel of Tara's arms gave a little comfort and soothed his anger.

It was a new kind of anger he felt when he saw Tara so close to getting physically hurt. His blood came close to bursting from how high it was boiling. Anyone who wanted to cause her physical harm had no place in this earth. And if there had been no one around to have stopped that fight, he was sure he would have pounded that guy's face in. It was a truth Jax had no shame for.

As they merged onto I-5, Tara must have still felt his anger because she began to sooth his chest with her hand. Her face was rubbing against his back. Even against the cut, he could feel it. She was worried about him. He took one hand off the handle and reached down to her leg, soothing it back. He wanted her to know there was nothing to worry about.

She stood up enough to kiss his neck.

Jax loved moments like these. Moments where there were no words exchanged between the two, yet the conversation was heavy. It was proof of how strong of a bond they possessed. How their instincts about one another were always spot on. God, he loved her.

Then, the heard sirens behind them broke the sweet moment.

Jax turned to his mirror and found the cop was now right behind them. San Joaquin Sherriff's Department, from what he could see in the dark. The cop wanted _them_. "Shit."

He pulled over to the side and up ahead, he saw Ope doing the same.

"What's going on?" asked Tara.

Jax saw the cop stopping right behind them. "No idea." He turned and shared a look with Opie. Neither of them knew what the pull-over was about.

The cop made his way over to Jax's bike.

Jax took off his glasses. "Is there a problem, Officer?"

The San Joaquin Sherriff stared at Jax and Tara. "You guys involved in a brawl over at Westgate?"

"There was some miscommunication, yeah. The rangers ordered us to go and we did."

"What started the fight?"

Jax frowned. He wasn't sure why the Sherriff was so interested.

Donna was the one who spoke up. "They were harassing me. My boyfriend and friend came in and pulled the three off me. The guys got ticked and started the fight."

Jax was a bit surprised that Donna would give a lie to a police officer. The lie wasn't big, but enough to make Opie and Jax sound completely innocent in the matter.

The Sherriff turned to Jax and Tara again. "Well, they claim that it was because you two stole from them. They were specific in describing this young woman."

Jax turned and saw a look of shock in Tara's face. "I didn't steal anything."

"We're not taking anyone's word. Those guys get into plenty of trouble around town, so I'm a bit skeptical at believing them," explained the Sherriff. "But the report was made and since no one knows who you guys are—you're not from Lodi—we decided to get statements and see if you guys _did_ in fact steal from them. They claim it was a CD player, a pager, and a few other things."

Tara shook her head. "We didn't steal anything."

Jax thought back to the fight and what happened after it. He had a strange feeling about this.

Tara began to take off her backpack. "I can dump this out right now."

It clicked. Jax remembered how close that one guy had been to Tara. It had been too dark to see everything. But her backpack, it hadn't been closed all the way.

Tara unzipped her backpack. "Look."

Jax turned to Tara and tried to stop her. "Tara, don't—"

Too late, she had dumped everything that was inside into the floor. And in the pile of things were a CD player and a pager.

Jax silently cursed.

Those sons of bitches.

/

/

~TARA~

Tara was the first out. Her father was waiting by the door for her.

As Tara made her way towards him, he didn't look up. She knew most teenagers in her situation would have been scared shitless of their parents, but she wasn't. The only reason why she called her father instead of Rachel or Donna was because they wouldn't have been able to bail her out.

Once she got close enough to him, he lifted his head to her. "You can find your own way home." With that, he left.

Tara was stunned. After her two previous arrests, he had given her a long-hour lecture of how much she was messing up her life. Now, he decided to just leave her.

Her anger towards her father just built.

She turned and saw an empty seat. She knew Jax wasn't out yet, but that he would in a few minutes. Just as she had been leaving her cell, she overheard a guard tell Jax that his mother was finishing up the payment. It wouldn't be too long until he was out of the cell.

She sat down and waited patiently.

Then, she heard commotion coming from down the hall.

Tara turned and found Gemma chasing after an annoyed-looking Jax.

Once Jax and Tara caught eyes, they smiled at each other. Tara got up and began to walk towards him. He made his way towards her as well.

"Jackson, what the fuck were you thinking?!" Gemma demanded as she followed him, clearly not seeing Tara.

"I was thinking I needed a new CD player," Jax said with a blasé attitude.

"So, you decided to _steal_ one?!"

Jax looked around. Everyone at the station was staring at them. "Mom, we can do this later."

"The hell we are. We're gonna do this _right now_, Jackson. You're gonna tell me why the hell you were caught with all that shit with you. You're no thief." Her voice was getting louder.

Jax and Tara finally met with each other and embraced one another.

When they pulled away from one another, Tara looked up to see Gemma looking as if she wanted to pour acid on her face.

"Perhaps it was someone else who was in possession of those things and you're just taking the fall," Gemma said as she stared down at Tara.

Tara was baffled by this accusation. "Excuse me?"

Jax came in between both of them. "Mom, we'll talk about this later. This isn't Tara's fault."

"Bullshit." Gemma stared at her son straight in the eye. "You don't give a shit about music and even if you did, you're not one to steal meaningless shit like a CD Player. Not to mention, you don't even _know _how to use a fucking pager, so why would you steal one of those too? You have the money, unlike some certain people you hang out with."

Tara was caught wanting to do three things: run out of the room from embarrassment (because Gemma was right that Tara was poor), or she wanted to shout at Gemma to mind her own damn businesses, or Tara wanted to beat the shit out of the woman.

Before she could react, Jax got in his mother's face. "Watch the way you talk to her, Mom."

"Why?" Gemma challenged.

Tara could feel him shaking from anger. His mother tended to bring this kind of emotion easily out of him. Although she would like nothing more than to see him spit down at his mother, Tara didn't want him having regrets later on. She took his hand and tugged at it.

Jax grew a bit calm, but continued to stare down at his mother. "You don't want to know the answer to that question, Mom. Because if it comes down to me choosing between you and her, I really don't think you'll be too happy with the answer I'll give you.

With that, he linked his fingers with Tara's and began to walk off.

As Tara walked away with Jax, she felt something tugging up her shirt. Tara turned, startled.

Gemma was right at her heels with her hand pulling up Tara's shirt. The woman was staring down at the ink Tara had just gotten with a shocked face. The woman looked up at Jax. "What the hell is this, Jax?"

Jax wrapped his arm around Tara's waist and pulled his girlfriend away from his crazy mother. "She's mine, Mom." And with a last look at his mother before he turned and left said, "And I'm hers. That's what that means."

The two walked out of the police station, leaving behind a stunned mother.

Tara took one last look at Gemma and sent her a smirk.

Jax was _hers_.

* * *

**AN**: I introduced Laurie-Lynn here as a contrast to Gemma. Tara and Gemma I don't think ever had a good relationship in the past and when Tara entered the world of SAMCRO, I believe Jax might have been hesitant in telling her everything about the club. In my version, Tara must have had someone who was a little like Gemma—in the sense that she had known the club since the very start—and guided Tara a bit. This person would have also cared for Tara a lot and tried to push Tara away from SAMCRO, but for unselfish purposes—which differs from the reasons why Gemma doesn't want Tara in this world.

Also, in regards to the tattoo Tara has, in my version I wanted it to be HER idea to get it. I've read in other stories that it was Jax who suggested she get it and to me, to have your girlfriend do something that will be _permanently_ on your body, sounds a little too controlling. I believe she got it for her own self, without Jax's knowledge. It makes it more meaningful.

Thank you for all the comments and messages you guys have been writing. I greatly appreciate the interest! Four more chapters left! :D

**DATE**: 7/21/13


	11. Sex on Fire

**CHAPTER ****11**: "Sex on Fire" by Kings of Leon

**SUMMARY**: A wild night in San Joaquin Valley…. Oh...more smut... ;D

**TIME PERIOD**: October and November; 1996

* * *

~TARA~

"Come on, she's not here," Jax said teasingly as he dragged Tara into his house and closed the door behind her.

Tara hardly came into the Teller-Morrow household. She did everything and anything to avoid coming here. She let out a man of dislike. "I still vote for going to the park."

Jax wrapped his arms around her. "I can't take your shirt off there," he said as he began to kiss her neck and go inside of her shirt.

A burn of passion began to spread through her body as Jax kissed her. He was so good at that. She instinctively wrapped her own arms around his neck, bringing him closer. "We can find a couple of trees," she suggested.

Jax smiled and continued to kiss her. "True. But eventually, I'm gonna want to go further than second base." His hands reached her breasts and he cupped them.

Tara let out a tiny gasp. "We can go back to my house," Tara said in a low voice. She was beginning to lose her. She clutched onto Jax's biceps as he kneaded her breasts.

Jax's lips were now teasing her ear. "Your dad's home."

_Shit_, she thought. She had forgotten.

Jax's hands went underneath her bra and began to tease her nipples.

She let out a curse word as the passion finally reached the place between her legs. She didn't care anymore. She could have sex with him right here, right now. She disregarded the fact that they were in the kitchen with all of the blinds open for anyone to see. She wanted him, badly. She reached up and slammed her lips upon his.

Before Tara could start to undress Jax or even herself, there was a loud and annoying sound coming from the living room. Tara ignored it and continued kissing her boyfriend. Jax did the same as he continued to drive her crazy with his hands.

Then, a voice was heard.

"Jax! Jax! You there?" it was a thick Scottish accent. "Pick up, brotha!"

Jax let out a loud cuss word and dropped his hands away from Tara.

She instantly felt coldness…and a different kind of heat. She stared at him with a look of disbelief.

He gave her an apologetic look. "Give me a minute." He began to walk towards the living room.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" she demanded. _He_ was the one that had gotten her all hot and heavy. Now he was walking away from her? To answer a goddamn phone call?! Unbelievable!

Jax turned back and saw her anger. He gave her his most puppy-dog look. "One minute. Promise." He hurried over to the other room.

Tara let out a grunt of anger. She wanted to seriously slam his head with that damn phone!

Suddenly, the front door flew open.

A tall figure walked into the house carrying about half a dozen bags of groceries. The figure's sight was blocked due to the many bags.

Tara's heart raced a bit. She knew who the figure was. She didn't have to see the face to recognize this was Gemma Teller-Morrow walking into the room

"Jax, honey, you think you can help me?!" asked Gemma from behind the groceries.

Tara hesitated. She wanted to help, but wanted to run the hell out of there even more. Finally, she decided to suck up her fear and reached over. She took a couple of the biggest bags.

Once the bags began to leave her arms, Gemma began to give her thanks. "Oh, thank you honey." She stopped at the sight of Tara.

Tara gave Gemma a tight smile. "Hello, Mrs. Teller-Morrow."

Gemma's face turned ice-cold. "Where's Jax?"

"In the living room, answering a phone call." The bags began to get a bit heavy. "Where should I put these?"

Gemma motioned to the table a little bit aways from them. "There's fine."

Tara walked over to the kitchen table and placed down the bags. "Need any more help?"

Gemma had a look on her face like she was disgusted at the thought of asking Tara for help.

Tara didn't allow Gemma to answer the question; she began to head outside and start walking to the car where she found at least a dozen other bags.

Gemma came rushing out. "It's fine, I got it."

Tara still ignored her. She got to the car and began to take the bags.

Gemma stepped right in. "I said I got it," she said as she yanked the bags away from Tara with force.

Tara looked at the woman with a look of disbelief. Couldn't she have the decency to at least _try _to be nice? Tara asked herself.

Gemma struggled with all of the bags, determined to take them all herself.

The woman disgusted Tara. "What's your problem?" she asked point blank. She was sick of tip toeing around the question for two years. She wanted to know why it was Gemma disliked her so much. Tara had a few guesses, but didn't know for a fact.

Gemma turned to her and cocked a brow at her. "Back off, sweetheart. You don't wanna go there with me." She began to head into the house with all of the bags in her arms.

Tara followed her and tried to grab a few of the bags. She was sure some of them were going to break and then there'd be a big mess all over the drive-way.

Gemma pushed her off. "I said no!"

"What is so wrong with me helping you?" Tara demanded to know.

Gemma's hard features were set as she stared down at Tara. "I don't _need_ help, darling."

"Help in general, or specifically _my _help?"

Gemma stared at Tara right in the eye. "_Yours_."

"What's your problem with me exactly? What is it about me you don't like?"

Gemma scoffed. "You really want to know?"

"Yes!"

Gemma waited a beat as she stared at Tara coldly and bluntly stated, "You're not good for my son."

It felt like someone had just punched her right in the gut. Tara wasn't an idiot. She knew most of the people disapproved of her relationship with Jax, but no one had said it out loud to her before. While it hurt to know what people thought, it hurt more to hear it said out loud.

But as much as she was hurt, the anger she felt was more powerful. She stared up at Gemma with no fear. "You have no idea what's good for him."

Gemma took a step towards Tara, challenging her. "I'm his mother—trust me, I know. Known him a lot longer than you have. And I will _continue_ to know him long after you're gone."

Tara took the challenge and took a step forward. "I'm not going anywhere."

Gemma scoffed. "You don't look like the Charming type. You're a city girl. You don't belong here."

And for that Tara was greatful. "I didn't mean I wasn't leaving Charming. Believe me, this is the last place I ever want to end up in. What I meant was my relationship with Jax—I'm not leaving _him_," she said with certainty.

"Well, he ain't ever gonna leave, darling. So, one of two things will happen: either you'll stay and be miserable, or your relationship will end once you leave town. There's no other way this story can end." This statement made Gemma smile broadly.

The rage Tara felt inside of herself was almost incontrollable. She shook violently and knew the only way she could calm it down was to beat the shit out of Gemma.

"Mom!" Jax's voice behind them snapped Tara out of her violent thoughts.

Tara noticed Jax make his way over to them, a look of annoyance written across his face. His focus was solely on his mother. "Is there a problem?"

Gemma gave him a smile. "Not at all, sweetheart. Can you give me a hand?" She began to hand him some of the groceries.

Tara couldn't stand to be near her anymore. Every time when Gemma knew Jax was paying attention to her, Gemma was at her best behavior. But as soon as his back was turned the evil snares and comments towards Tara didn't stop.

Tara began to head out before she said something she would regret. As much as she wanted to at least punch Gemma straight across the face or call her out on her bullshit, Tara didn't want to do it in front of Jax. She was still his mother. At least in front of him, Tara would give Gemma that respect.

"Tara!" Jax began to go after her.

Tara shook her head and motioned him back. "I'll see you later, Jax."

She needed time to cool herself down. Jax knew her well enough to let her breathe and didn't follow her. Behind her though, she began to hear Jax shout at his mother, demanding to know what she had said to Tara.

Tara doubted the woman would ever tell her son the truth of who she truly was.

/

/

~JAX~

"You don't have to go, you know," Tara said as she put on her earrings. She was standing in front of her mirror and looking back at Jax.

Jax really feel like going to this stupid college party she had been invited to. College students gave him an uncomfortable vibe. He felt them to be snobs and self-righteous hypocrites—much like Hale. Being in an environment full of them was not how he wanted to spend his Saturday night. But, he was doing it for Tara. Just a few days ago, he had seen how upset she had gotten after getting into an altercation with his mother. Jax knew his mother well enough to know she had said something hurtful to Tara, which had caused her to leave his house earlier than he would have liked.

He couldn't get it out of either one of them what the conversation between the two had been about, but he had a pretty good idea what it was about.

So, in wanting to keep Tara happy and because he wanted to prove that their relationship could survive almost anything, he would go to the party and hang out at a place _she _wanted to.

Jax gave Tara a smile and walked over to her, his arms hugging her around the waist. "I want to hang out with you tonight." He gave her neck a gentle kiss.

She fell into his embrace and caressed his face with her own. "It'll only be for a couple of hours. Being apart for that long won't kill us."

He hugged her tightly. "I don't wanna risk it."

She giggled. "I just don't want you to be uncomfortable."

"I'm never uncomfortable with you," he said honestly. He looked into the mirror and saw him staring at them. He smiled at her. At them.

They looked perfect in the reflection. A bad-ass blonde biker with baby blue eyes and a clean cut gorgeous green-eyed brunette. Jax didn't see how there could ever be a much better looking couple.

She looked blissfully happy as she too stared at the mirror. "I love you, Jackson."

He knew those words would never cease to move him. They could be said to him by her once in a lifetime or once every hour and his heart would always give the same response.

Jax kissed her collarbone and all along her neck. Such a gift that he held in his arms. The most precious one Life could have ever given him.

Then, a most annoying honk came from outside, breaking the loving couple apart.

Tara let out a groan. "That'll be Rachel." Her hands fell off of him and she grabbed her purse. "Ready?"

Jax grabbed his keys. "Let's go."

The two left her room and headed to the front, where they found Rachel waiting for them in her truck. Donna welcomed them with a smile and wave.

Jax smiled at Donna. "I take it Ope took a rain check?"

Donna rolled her eyes. "He's being an ass."

"He asked me to deliver a message though, Jax," Rachel said from the driver's seat.

Jax cocked an eyebrow. He was afraid to ask.

"He called you a big bowl of pussy?" Rachel said with hesitation. She thought for a moment. "Or that you were covered in one?" She looked confused. "Something like that."

Jax held back a laugh.

"You gonna ride up behind us or are we all carpooling?" asked Rachel to her friends who hadn't moved to go into the truck.

Jax gave Rachel a look. "Do you not know by now how much I _hate_ being in cage?"

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Suit yourself."

Jax took Tara's hand and they headed over to his bike.

It took about twenty minutes to get to Stockton, which was where the party was.

Once there, Jax scanned the scenery. He wasn't used to be around this many people with no allies. With everyone present dressing in the latest fashion, Jax stuck out with his baggy jeans, white t-shirt, white sneaks, leather cut, and the reaper logo shinning bright for everyone to see.

As Jax lead the way, holding Tara's hand, he saw a few of the guys glancing over at him. A mixture of feelings could be seen in all of their faces. Most didn't know what to make of them and were either startled or alert.

Jax silently cursed at himself for not having forced Ope to come with him or for allowing himself to come to this stupid thing. It had was a bad idea.

Jax turned to Tara, who was looking around her. A look of hesitance was displayed in her features. She looked up at him. "Wanna just stay for an hour? I kind of wanna go see a movie now."

Jax frowned. She had been looking forward to this party all week. Why did she all of a sudden want to leave? He looked around and noticed a lot of the girls were staring at them. There was a combination of judgment and infatuation when they caught him staring back.

He knew why Tara wanted to leave. She noticed too that this was not a good idea. Jax looked down at her and nodded. "Sure." He bent down and gave her a peck.

Once they got inside of the house, the four friends bumped into a few of Tara's classmates. Tara introduced everyone to one another and they all began to pleasantly chat.

One of Tara's girl friends had brought her boyfriend, Tim, and Jax found him to be pleasant enough. The guy was a little on the nerdy side, but he looked like a decent guy.

As the girls chatted, Jax offered to get them drinks. They all gave their order and he and Tim went over to get the girls something.

"So, how long have you and Tara been going out?" asked Tim curiously.

"About two years. And you and Alice?" Jax asked.

They got to the sodas and Jax and Tim began to pick out what the girls had wanted.

"About six years," Tim answered.

Jax was amazed. "Wow. That long?"

Tim nodded. "Yeah. Ever since we were sophomores."

"You think about popping the question any time soon?" Jax asked without really thinking if it was too personal of a question. He didn't think it was, though. The two had been together for so long, wouldn't marriage be something that had been discussed?

Tim began to laugh. "Noooooo. Not at all."

Jax frowned. "Why not?"

"I love Alice, I do, but…I don't see it working out," Tim said honestly. "We're still young and it's fun with her, but I see something more serious for myself down the line."

"And Alice isn't the serious type?"

Tim shook his head. "Not for me. We're too different. She loves to travel and I can't stand to leave San Joaquin Valley for longer than a day. It's my home, you know? This is where I grew up. My family and my roots are here. I can't imagine myself anywhere else _but _here. But she…she wants to travel—see the world. I can't do that to her."

Jax didn't say anything for a moment; he just thought. What Tim had just said was resonating with him. He too called Charming home and he couldn't see himself living anywhere else. But Tara…Tara wanted something else. She hated it here. Could he ever be selfish enough and ask her to stay?

Tim elbowed him, snapping Jax away from his thoughts. "How about you? You ever think about proposing to Tara?"

The image of him proposing pushed away all of the worry from his head. "Every day," he answered Tim honestly.

Tim looked shocked. "Really?"

Jax nodded.

Tim didn't say anything else, he began to lead the way back to the girls.

As Jax made his way through the crowd, Jax noticed that a few guys were surrounding the girls. A guy looked to be a bit drunk and was hanging all over Donna and Rachel. One other guy had his arm wrapped around Tara's waist and she appeared to be pushing away from him.

Jax began to feel the boiling anger make its way through his body. He found a spot to place all the drinks in so his hands were free to do what needed to be done.

Tim stepped in. "Hold up, man. There's six of them and only one of you."

Jax turned to Tim, stunned at what he had just said. He was looking at _numbers_? And why in the hell hadn't he included himself in that _one_ count? That was his girlfriend being harassed, too. Didn't he care?

Jax pushed Tim away, not caring about stupid numbers. However, as he made his way through he noticed Tara grab the guy's crotch with a hard grip. The action made Jax stop in his tracks. He couldn't hear what his girlfriend was telling the guy, but it looked to be threatening.

The guy had a look of absolute agony.

Tara let him go and began to walk off.

Jax tore his eyes away from her to see Rachel had managed to push the guy that was hanging over her and Donna away.

Jax felt a jolt of pride soar through him for his three girls. He wanted to rush over and praise them, but when he noticed the drunken guys recuperate and start heading back towards the girls, Jax hurried over.

He came in front of the guy who just had his penis injured. "I think you better step back. You really don't want that dick broken in half."

"Step back, asshole," said the guy who had been groping Rachel and Donna. He came right in front of Jax. He was the same height.

Jax wasn't scared of the little prissy. "You don't wanna do this, man."

"Why not?" the idiot asked.

Jax gave him a most serious look. "I'll have you kissing this floor in four seconds."

The idiot didn't believe Jax and took a swing.

Jax ducked and punched the guy in the gut. Three strikes later across his chest and neck, and the guy was passed out on the floor. Jax knew how to instantly take down a guy who didn't know how to properly fight. And from the look of things, none of these guys looked to have ever been in real combat.

Another guy charged at Jax and Jax was able to take him down in a few seconds as well.

A third moron didn't take the hint and came after Jax as well. And because Jax believed him to be the one with the less brain cells, Jax decided to break the guy's nose before laying him down on the ground.

Jax looked up at the three remaining guys. "Any of you other fuckers want to try it?" Jax stepped forward with open and inviting arms. "Come on," he challenged.

The guys didn't say anything; they only took a few steps back.

"Jax!"

Jax turned and saw a concerned Tara staring at him and then down at the guys in front of him.

_Shit_, he thought. He had never been in a real fight in front of her. He had gotten into tussles with his brothers and she had witnessed it plenty of times, but this was something different. This had been a real fight.

Before he could respond to her, an angry-looking blonde entered the room.

"What the hell is going on here?" she demanded to know. She looked down at the mess in front of her. Her coffee table had been destroyed and two lamps as well.

_Huh_, Jax thought. _Was that me_?

The angry-looking blonde looked over at Jax. "Did _you_ cause this?"

Jax didn't answer. He figured the chick would be mad no matter what he said. He could defend himself, but she didn't care. All she saw was a mess in front of her.

"Get the hell outta here!" she spat. "Out!"

Tara stepped in. "It wasn't his fault! _They_ came at him first. He only defended himself."

"I don't give a shit! You take this _animal_ outta here!"

Tara's facial features quickly changed.

_Fuck_, Jax thought. He knew that look.

/

/

~TARA~

All Tara had wanted was a normal night out with Jax. She wanted to be around normal people so that she could prove Jax could live outside of his MC. There was more to him than Gemma thought. Tara hated the thought of Jax's mother putting limits on Jax. It seemed as if Gemma had planned the life for her son with him having no say in it. And Tara hated it. Hated the control Gemma tried to have over her son.

Tara had thought the party one of her schoolmates had invited her to would be perfect to bring Jax to. Her friends were pretty open-minded and knew they wouldn't pass judgment on Jax once they met him. However, she had underestimated other people. Once arriving to the party, Tara had noticed the stares. She read the thoughts. Felt the judgments.

She saw the lust in some of the girls once they laid eyes on Jax. But it wasn't jealousy that she was feeling, but anger. Anger because they were attracted to him because she knew all they saw in front of them was a bad-ass biker. A bad boy. Nothing more.

They, just like Gemma, didn't expect more out of a guy like Jax.

She wanted to leave, but knew it would be rude to. So, she decided to hang around for an hour and see how things would go.

Once meeting with her friends, though, Tara was put a little more on ease. Jax seemed to relax a bit. She knew he felt uncomfortable to be in a place where everyone kept staring at him. A place that if a fight were to break, he would have no back-up. But he looked to like Tim, so she wasn't worried too much.

And she believed the night would continue to run smoothly. But when the guys left to go get them some drinks, some idiots made their way over to Tara and her friends and began to harass them.

It was a first for Tara. She had never really been in this kind of situation. Most of the parties she went to were thrown by SAMCRO and the men there were very respectful. The other parties she attended were held in Charming. Sometimes Jax wouldn't go to those, and maybe it was because the town knew who she was, no guy hit on her or harassed her.

She did her best to control her emotions when the guy wrapped his arm around her. A sickening feeling shot straight through her body. She wanted him away from her. She pushed at him at first lightly because she didn't want piss him off. He might get violent with her.

But he wouldn't budge. He other arm began to make its way towards her.

Tara had run out of options. If she didn't do something drastic now, she would end up in a very bad situation. She gave him a shove and looked at him straight in the eye. "Get the fuck off me. I'm not gonna tell you again."

The asshole just started laughing at her and continued to let his hands roam over her.

She had had it. She boldly reached over for his balls. Once they were in her hands, she squeezed hard.

The guy let out a screech of pain.

She looked at him straight in the eye. "Lay another hand on me and I'll cut your balls off." Tara pushed away from him and as she walked off, she noticed that the guy who was trying to get at Rachel and Donna had been pushed away. The other guys backed off from Tara's friends once they saw the girls weren't going to allow themselves to be treated in such a derogatory way.

As Tara walked away, she noticed how many guys were just standing around and staring. They didn't seem to want to step in and stop what had just occurred. It disgusted Tara. So many boys and no men that were willing to step in and offer help when it was needed. Tara knew that if a SAMCRO member had been in the room, those guys would be lying on the ground crying like babies.

"Fight!" someone screamed out.

The crowd began to make its way towards a group of guys.

Tara turned and saw a set of blond hair she was all too familiar with. She rushed over because she knew exactly had was happening.

She made her way through and was there to see that as Jax broke a guy's nose, the two guys who had harassed Tara, Donna, and Rachel were lying flat on the ground. They were out—cold turkey.

Jax didn't seem to have a scratch on him. Not even blood. He was breathing a little heavy, but she figured that was because of the anger he was feeling towards the guys.

Jax looked up at the guys who were still standing. "Any of you other fuckers want to try it?" Jax stepped forward and invited them to a fight. "Come on," he barked at them.

Tara looked down at the guys on the floor once more. It shocked her that Jax had the capability of doing this to someone. She didn't know how to feel about it, but she knew she didn't want him doing it again.

"Jax!" she called out, wanting him to not continue with the fight.

He turned to her and froze. A look of worry coming across his face. He took a step forward and was getting ready to tell her something. But there was an interruption.

"What the hell is going on here?" a pissed off chick cried out as she looked around the room at all the mess. She turned to Jax. "Did _you_ cause this?"

He was in the middle of the crowd and was the only one standing, what did she_ think_? Tara thought.

Jax didn't answer, probably afraid of pissing the chick off more.

"Get the hell outta here!" the blonde yelled. "Out!"

Tara tried to keep her calm. She didn't want anyone to think Jax was the bad guy in all of this when he clearly wasn't. "It wasn't his fault! _They_ came at him first. He only defended himself."

The chick looked like she was about to declare war on Tara. "I don't give a shit! You take this _animal_ outta here!"

The name-calling ticked something in Tara. She didn't like it. Didn't like that someone would call the person she loved most such a thing. Tara took a step forward, ready to take a swing. "Don't talk to him that way," she warned the chick.

"It's _my _house! I can say whatever the _fuck_ I want to say! If I want to call him a beast, or a swine, or white trash, or a good-for-nothing-cockroach—I'll do so!" The girl was now right in front of Tara's face, boiling from so much anger.

Tara didn't hesitate. She swung the back of her right hand across the girl's face. A sting quickly shot through Tara's face.

The chick fell right on her ass.

Gasps came from all over the crowd.

Tara towered over the scared chick and looked up at the crowd. She hoped that not just the chick, but that everyone around had gotten the message: no _one_ spoke of Jax Teller that way. At least not in front of her.

"Tara." Jax came up behind her and took her hand. "We should go."

Tara allowed Jax to pull her away from the crowd. Together, they made their way to his bike. Once she sat in that bike and she wrapped her arms around his waist, she knew that bringing Jax into the "normal" world wasn't possible. She doubted it would ever accept him.

She held him tightly, saddened by the fact that they didn't know him the way she knew him.

/

/

~JAX~

Jax decided to take a longer route to get back home. Going down I-5 would get them back home within 15 minutes. He knew Tara needed a few moments more to settle down.

There were no cars on the street other than them. There were hardly any city lights and the night was dark.

After a few minutes of riding, he looked back towards Tara. He had a feeling she was still pretty upset.

He saw her looking down, thinking. He decided to pull over. Maybe she needed to let it out.

He got off the main road and slowed down, parking on the off-road. He turned off the bike and turned to her.

She was still looking down.

"Hey?" he asked gently as he took off his helmet and glasses.

She didn't say a word. She just gave a sad sigh and took off her helmet.

"What is it?" Jax asked as he caressed her face. He hated seeing her like this: disappointed.

Tara looked up at him. "It shouldn't be this hard."

"What?" he asked softly.

A few tears formed in her eyes. She got up from the bike and tried to control herself. "Our worlds. I just want to go…anywhere—_everywhere_—with you." She held onto him tightly. "No judgments. No prejudice. No one looking at you as if you were—" She stopped herself, the tears catching up to her.

Jax got up from the bike and went over to her to try to sooth her. "It's ok, babe."

"No, it's not." A bright, red flush spread through her neck and face due to her anger. "They don't _know _you. How can they—?" She let out a grunt of frustration. "Closed-minded hypocrites." She began to shake furiously.

"Hey, hey. It's ok; it's alright." Jax lowered his voice, knowing full well this worked for her when her emotions were shot.

She took a few deep breaths. The red flush began to disappear from her face. It was working.

He continued to whisper to her, doing his best to calm her.

She stared up at him and a look of amazement came across her face.

"What?" he asked, puzzled by her reaction.

"You're something else, Jax Teller," she said softly.

He didn't get it.

She placed her hands on his neck and stroked him there. "If everyone could just see what I see…I don't believe there's a person in this world that could have one negative thing to say about you."

He looked down, loving her and hating himself at the same time. The way she saw him wasn't the real Jax Teller. There was another side—a much darker side that he vowed to never let her see. What she thought of him brought him happiness and a lightness he hadn't felt for a long time. For selfish reasons, he wanted her to continue seeing him that way. But he felt like scum because he was being unfair to her. She deserved to have better.

And he _wanted _to be better for her. He honestly couldn't see anyone loving her the way he did. Protecting her the way he could. Worshiping her the way he did.

Jax reached down and kissed her, thanking her for loving him the way she did.

She returned the kiss with a stronger emotion, a passionate one. She clung to him as she allowed herself to get lost in him.

It didn't take long for Jax to feel the same craving back for her.

Her lips claimed him and she pushed him down onto his bike. He sat down and kept himself as steady as possible, making sure the bike didn't fall down and break.

She got on top of him, her legs on either side of him, her arms cradling his neck. "God, you drive me crazy." She began to rub herself along his stomach.

His hands roamed along her legs and cradled her ass gently. He tried to control himself; he usually was the one that took the lead. Every now and again, though, she would get into a mood and want to be the one in charge. Right now was one of those moments.

Tara wrapped her fingers around his cut and began to tug at it while she continued to kiss him profoundly.

Jax helped her and placed his cut on the handles of his bike. He reached to his shirt and took it off.

Tara took a long look at his six-pack stomach. She reached down and rubbed her palms against it. He felt her shiver the moment her fingers touched him.

He cracked a cocky smile at her.

She looked up at him with a look of hunger in her eyes. "You need to stop being so good-looking. It would help my obsession."

Jax brought his hands to her shirt and moved it up. He took the cups of her bra and pushed them out of the way so that he could stare into the most beautiful globes he'd ever laid eyes on. He pressed both her breasts with his palms, making them fuller.

A moan escaped her lips.

"Right back at ya," he said right before diving in and sucking at those puppies.

A louder moan was let out of her. She began to grind up against his thigh.

Jax looked up and saw the ecstasy. Her head had fallen back, her hair was a mess, and her throat was making the most sexiest sounds. His lips curved and applied more pressure on her.

She tugged at his hair. "Jax!"

He wasn't close to being done. He took a hold of both breasts and pressed them together, this way, he could feed on both of them at the same time.

Tara's nails were now clawing at his arms. She was ready to cum.

The speed of his tongue picked up on one nipple while the other was getting pinched and tugged at lightly.

Not long after, Tara came undone. She let out a howl as she reached the top. And very slowly, she began to come down.

He kissed the top of her breasts and covered them back up.

She smiled blissfully at him and kissed him gently. "I wanted to take lead," she said lazily.

He chuckled. "You can take it next time." He had intended to _let _her take lead, but he got too caught up in his emotions. They took over.

Tara looked around in the dark.

Jax did the same thing too. They were still out in the open, in the side of the road, and could be easily seen.

No cars had yet to come through and one eventually would. They were lucky to still be alone. They shouldn't press it.

Jax was sure Tara was thinking the same thing and he began to put back his shirt.

Tara stopped him, though. "What are you doing?"

Jax looked up at her, confused by her question. "Heading back home?"

She cuddled closer to him. "But we were just getting started." She bent over and started pecking his chest.

Jax smiled. "We can finish it back at your room or the apartment…" He kissed her neck.

She shook her head and began to rub herself against him once more. "I can't wait that long." She began to unbuckle his belt.

Jax was baffled at this response. It was so unlike her. They were outside; they could easily get caught! And it was turning him on.

Tara gave him a mischievous look. "We'll make it a quickie," she said as she reached into his pants and cupped him.

Jax bit back a groan. He loved the feel of those fingers around him.

She began to pump her hand up and down in quick motions.

She really _does_ want a quickie, he thought as his hunger built more intensely.

She used her other hand to also go into his boxers and cup his balls. Lightly and with a fast pace, she massaged him as she whispered things into his ear. Words that she knew made him cum fast. She rarely used dirty talk and when she did, it was enough for him to want to explode.

Tara began to rub against the spot right before his balls began, which the spot where Tara had found one day that caused him to have a mind-blowing orgasm.

"_Fucking_ shit!" He didn't want to cum too soon. He gripped onto Tara's thighs, trying to hold back as much as he could. 'Tara," he said warningly.

She rubbed a little faster and gave a giggle. "Yeah?" she asked innocently.

He took a few deep breaths. "Fuck!"

Tara brought her lips close to his and picked up the pace in her other hand, the one gripping his dick. Her lips were close enough for a kiss.

And he wanted to reach up and fill up the space, but he wasn't able to move. His body was in her complete control. He knew she was getting payback.

Then, she did something she had never done before. She took the sensitive skin right below his balls and pinched it lightly.

The oxygen left him. His heart stopped working. His blood stopped circulating. He felt gravity disperse. And he flew to a beautiful escape.

After a few seconds of nirvana, Jax landed back down. A set of bright green eyes welcomed him. She was grinning from ear to ear.

"I'm gonna pay you back," he said weakly.

She laughed, swinging her arms around him again. "You can pay me back now," she said seductively.

Tara began to stroke that sensitive spot again, bringing him back to life.

Jax nearly jumped of shock as he felt his limp dick becoming solid again. He couldn't believe she was getting him hard again this quickly.

Tara didn't allow him to think, her lips were claiming him again. She got off him just long enough to take off her pants and panties. She came back to his lap.

Jax looked down the street, seeing a light glow on the horizon.

He jumped at the sight of the car, picking up Tara at the same time. He scanned his surroundings, looking for a place to hide the both of them. He didn't mind so much of someone seeing _him _buck-naked, but someone seeing his girlfriend's pussy was another thing all together. Jax noticed they were actually on a hill and he moved them over towards the bottom of it.

Tara didn't seem to mind the movements; she continued to kiss his neck and chest.

Then just as the car started passing them, Jax brought Tara and him down on the ground. He placed Tara below him so that just in case the car _did_ catch a glimpse of them, Jax covered Tara.

Tara let out a moan as he crushed into her.

He feared he might have pushed her down too hard or that the ground was very uncomfortable for her. He regretted his decision once he saw her down on the dirt. The position she was in had to be painful. Jax brought his hands around her, deciding he could lie down on the ground instead.

However, Tara had a different plan. The moment he came closer to her, she took him in her hand and brought him inside of her. The instant he entered her, he didn't see that she was feeling any kind of discomfort. All she was feeling was passion for him. She didn't care how her back was feeling.

He too forgot where they were and began to move inside her. He started off slow, wanting to enjoy the lovemaking. Wanting to enjoy the art they were creating.

Tara met him stroke for stroke. Her leg came up higher and settled on his hip, allowing him to hit a soft spot in her. The movement was making her gasp and she pressed against him.

Jax reached over and pulled her shirt up and her bra off of her breasts, allowing her tits to bounce freely. He didn't know why this image always turned him on. He stroked her faster and kept his eyes on the pair of beauties and they jumped all over the place.

Tara looked up at him and began to stroke his six-pack. She met his thrusts roughly.

Jax felt himself cuming again too soon. He didn't want to get to his peak without her, so he placed a finger against her clit and began to rub it.

Tara let out a loud cuss word and sat up against him.

He took her other leg and placed it above his shoulder. The new angle allowed him to go deeper within her and by the look on her face she was close to orgasm.

She reached over and clung to his neck as his plunges became harder and faster. She let out short and loud yelps as she tried not to cum too soon.

However, the moment Jax began to rub her clit again, she lost all of control.

She tightened up her pussy around him and made him cum with her.

The couple gave one last final thrust as they allowed themselves to be taken away to paradise.

A good, long minute passed and Jax still held onto Tara. He noticed he was covered in sweat and due to that, there was so much dead grass clinging to him. He didn't care at the moment, but he knew he would later on.

After several moments of the pair trying to catch their breath, Tara let out a laugh.

He stared at her and smiled at her apparent happiness. "What?"

She looked at him. "The things you drive me to do," she accused him.

He laughed. "You're the one who attacked me!"

Tara simply laughed.

God, he loved her.

/

/

~TARA~

"Opie, just pick a spot!" Donna said in an irritating tone.

The friends were all in a triple date: Jax and Tara, Donna and Oppie, and Rachel and Candy. There had been a bet going on as to where they would go for the date. The guys had wanted to stay in Charming and party at TM, Rachel and Tara had voted for spending the day at the Bay, and Donna and Candy had voted for going to the movies.

To the guys' much dislike, Donna and Candy won and now here they were in Stockton seeing a movie they wanted nothing to be a part of.

Out of the two of them, Opie was the one who least wanted to be here, so he was doing everything humanly possible to annoy his girlfriend.

He was standing in the middle of the isle and not moving. "My spot is outside on my bike."

Donna sent him a glare. "A bet's a bet. You don't hear _me _complaining about how often we're always at TM, do you?"

Opie still didn't move.

In the few years Tara had come to know Opie, she knew he hated crowds. And because they were here at the theaters on a Friday night to see a movie that was being predicted to a blockbuster hit, there were hundreds of people surrounding Opie.

Tara looked behind her and saw the crowd was beginning to get impatient.

Jax saw her worry and reached over to give Opie a push. "Just hurry, man!"

Opie let out a grunt and decided to go all the way to the top row, where there were eight empty seats.

All of the friends walked to the top row and got settled. Jax and Tara took the two off to the side that was specifically for the disabled. Tara had argued against it, but Jax put her at ease when he told her they would quickly move if someone needed it.

"There's better space here," Jax said as he stretched out his legs in front of him and wrapped his arm around Tara.

Tara stared over at her friends, who were at least a dozen feet away. "I'm not close enough to talk."

Jax gave her a look of disbelief. "Babe, you're gonna see movie. Is there one place you can't _not_ talk in?"

She rolled her eyes. He always told her she talked too much. "I don't talk _all _of the time."

He gave her a look of shock. "Yes, you do."

"I do not."

A few people sent out hushes at her, some of them came from her friends. Tara looked up and noticed the previews had started. She quickly became embarrassed for her rudeness and told herself she would keep quiet for the rest of the movie.

Jax chuckled softly and whispered to her, "You won't you won't get through this whole movie without talking, you know that don't you?"

He knew her too damn well.

"Yes, I can," she said defensively.

He held her stare and smiled. "Wanna bet?"

"What exactly are we betting?" she asked.

"You win and I'll come watch this movie with you another 10 times without bitching about it."

Tara's eyes went wide with shock. "You'd be willing to see Romeo + Juliet that many times with me?"

Jax scoffed. "I'm just amusing you because you're _not _going to win."

She rolled her eyes yet again at him. "And if _you _win?"

"Just the satisfaction that I'm right and you're wrong is enough for me," he said as he sent her a teasing smile.

Tara turned to the movie and decided to keep her mouth shut. "You're on."

She knew Jax was doing his best to not laugh at her.

She did good the first few minutes of the movie. She stayed still and refused the urge to whisper to him the thoughts she had on the movie so far. She bit her lower lip to help her a bit.

But then, she felt something tug at her skirt. Tara frowned and looked down. She found Jax was making his way up her skirt.

Tara took a grab of his wrist and sent him a look.

He leaned over and began to kiss her neck. "Remember to keep quiet." His fingers fought her hand off.

He was way too strong for one of her hands, so she had to use her other hand as well. "Jax, there's people here," she said, not caring anymore about their bet.

Jax seemed to forget too since he didn't mention it. He continued kissing her neck. "Who cares?" He reached her inner thighs and continued going north.

Tara's body began to blaze up and as much as she wanted to, she didn't pull away from him. His hands just felt too damn good at the moment.

He grinned into her neck. "Makes it exciting with so many people around, huh?" he asked as his fingers pushed away her panties.

She sucked in a sharp breath as desire began to win over and reason was pushed aside.

"We'll be quiet…and quick." His voice was low and sultry. A combination that always made her extra wet.

Jax continued to tease her core for the next half an hour. He would take her up high, but quickly brought her back down.

Tara took deep breaths to prevent crying out of pleasure. The way Jax's fingers were entering her and the fact that there were at least 400 people around them at the moment, definitely was making her excited. She had never done something like this before—at least not in public with so many people.

Jax was taking his time with her, but when the sex part of the movie took place, he began to go at a faster pace.

Tara's breathing got heavier and she wished that they were in a private place so she could do to him what she really wanted to.

Jax's lips came close to her ear once more. "Think you can be silent, babe? I bet you can't." He entered a fourth finger—the most he ever had—and went deeper inside of her.

Tara wanted to shout at him, kiss him, cuss at him, make love to him, and hit him all at once! He was sweetly torturing her.

With his thumb, he rubbed circles against her clit.

She let out a sharp gasp and she was afraid she was going to cave in.

But Jax's mouth was there to catch her scream and kissed it away.

She finally came on Jax's hand and held on tightly to him for several minutes afterwards.

Once she was steady enough, Jax kissed her nose and dropped back to his seat. He took one of her napkins and cleaned his hand, sending her a playful wink.

She hated him.

For the remainder of the movie, Jax kept his arm around Tara's shoulders and didn't touch her anywhere else. Of course, throughout the film he would have a smile on his face that Tara fully understood. She slapped him across the chest plenty of times because of it, which only made him start laughing.

Tara was grateful the damn movie was finally over. She didn't think she could ever watch this damn movie again.

As the friends made their way out of the theater, Jax kept to Tara's side and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. He wiggled his eyebrows at her. "Like the movie?" he asked teasingly.

Before she could answer, Opie sent them a glare. "Next time you wanna have sex, why not just stay home?"

"Yeah, I could smell the sex all the way where I was sitting," Rachel accused out loud.

Many people of the crowd turned around to stare at Tara and Jax.

While Jax found this humorous and laughed it off, Tara felt like she wanted the earth to swallow her whole.

/

/

~JAX~

"Choose one hand—_only _one hand," Jax told Tara one day while they were out at the park. He held both of his hands behind his back.

Tara raised a suspicious eyebrow. "It's not another vibrator, is it?"

Jax rolled his eyes. "No."

"Rubber chicken?" she guessed.

"No."

"Jack in the box?"

"No."

"Electrical handgrip?"

She was a horrible guesser. "No!"

"You're not gonna fart again, are you?" she asked as she made a face, remembering.

"Will you just pick one?" he asked impatiently.

She hesitated, but then pointed to his right hand. "That one…I guess."

It really didn't matter. She was going to get the same thing no matter what hand she picked. He brought his hands to the front and turned over his right hand. A small, black box was placed on his palm.

Tara stared up at him, a bright smile on her face. "What is it?"

He handed it to her. "Open it."

Tara took it, but still looked confused. "It's not our anniversary, you know."

"I know."

"It's not my birthday either."

"I'm aware of that."

"And Christmas is more than a month away."

"So my calendar tells me."

Her face turned serious. "You didn't do anything that's gonna make me upset, did you?"

"Nooo."

"Well, what other reason would you have to—?"

He glared at her. "You're ruining it! Just open it!"

Tara decided to drop it and opened up her box. Inside was a silver necklace. One that had taken Jax a good year to save up for. He had wanted to give it to her for her birthday, but decided it would be best to wait a little longer to give it to her.

Tara's face fell at the sight of it. "It's beautiful, Jax." She picked it up and stared intently at the silver feather that hung on the chain.

Jax loved to see her so happy. "I wanted to give you something on a day that I didn't _have_ to," he explained. "I don't need a special event to tell me when I can give you a present that shows you I love you."

Tara turned to him with loving tears in her eyes.

He took the necklace and put it on her. "This is for when I'm on one of my long rides. You can look down and remember your crow."

"So, it's a crow's feather?" Tara asked as she examined it again.

Jax nodded. "Happy designed it and I took it to this jeweler the club knows. It's custom made. A one and only piece." He leaned over and kissed her.

Tara wrapped her arms around Jax and kissed him back. "You know I don't need to look at a feather to remember you, right?" Her nose rubbed gently against his. "Every other thought in my mind is about you."

The look in her eyes told him she wasn't lying.

Jax didn't know what he had ever done to deserve someone like Tara Knowles.

* * *

**AN**: I've always noticed that necklace Tara has had since season 1; it kind of looks like a feather. I always wondered what that necklace means exactly, because towards the end of season 4, she's seen holding onto it when she's upset. In this story, I made it be that Jax did in fact give it to her, which is why she treasures it so much.

REVIEW!

**DATE**: 8/4/13


	12. Explode

**CHAPTER ****12**: "Explode" by Nelly Furtado

**SUMMARY**: The more Tara has grown attracted to Jax's life. But being in the outlaw world comes with consequences… This is a lengthy chapter. Most of it takes place in one day.

**TIME**: November 10; 1996

* * *

A few miles north of Lathrop, CA

~TARA~

The place wasn't hard to find after several minutes of seeing nothing but empty fields. Even over the loud motor, Tara could start to hear the music. She then saw the lights and many cars. There was also what appeared to be a bonfire.

Jax rolled the bike to a spot away from the cars. As soon as he parked the bike, Tara began to take off her helmet and glasses.

Opie brought his bike right next to Jax's with Donna in back and parked as well.

Donna got off of the bike and placed her helmet away. She turned towards the party that was happening yards from them. "Not exactly the silent type, I take it?"

Opie cracked a smile.

"They're louder than the TM parties," Tara said as she a group of young men rooting another guy who was swimming inside a barrel of beer.

Jax wrapped his arm loosely over her shoulders. "It's about to get louder, babe." He gave her one of his winks.

She rolled his eyes at his cocky attitude, which she needed to admit turned her on.

The guy hosting the party was a friend of the Club's and had asked Jax and Opie to come along. What the celebration was about, Tara had no idea. From what she had come to learn of the Club and anyone associated with them was that the men just loved to get wasted, fight, and fuck. Usually, in that order.

Tara and Donna were now a constant presence in the parties their boyfriends went to. At first, Tara had thought poorly of the scene, but she had come to grow accustomed to the atmosphere. The guys genuinely loved one another. She wasn't a big fan of the women that surrounded the Club, but after a few altercations with some sluts, Tara had gained the respect of the Crow Eaters and Hang Arounds. Everyone in Charming knew Jax was claimed and that he, unlike most of SAMCRO, didn't fuck anyone except Tara.

Tara looked around the scene. It wasn't massive, but pretty big. Although the party was deep in the middle of nowhere there was a lot of noise being made. The cops were bound to find them.

"How long do you think until the cops find out about this?" asked Tara.

Jax shrugged. "Not sure. Lathrop Police will leave us alone, but I know San Joaquin sometimes comes around the area. There's some new cops in the department that haven't been won over, so we might not have that much time."

Tara frowned at his choice of words. "_Win_ them over?"

Jax gave her a quick smile. "With our charm."

Tara scoffed. "Yes, because that's the first thing I think about SAMCRO—charming."

"Won you over with it, didn't I?" he asked he brought her close to his mouth but didn't kiss her. He was teasing her and she knew it.

She felt an instant desire for his lips, but she didn't want him to prove a point. She slapped him across the stomach, making him pull away.

As they came closer to the group of people, everyone started to welcome the two SAMCRO.

Jax turned to Tara. "We'll be with the guys." He leaned over and kissed her forehead.

Tara got on her tiptoes and kissed him full on the mouth. She knew a lot of bitches had laid eyes on Jax already and she wanted them to be sure he was taken. She kissed him deep and long.

Jax pulled away with a cocky grin. She knew he was aware of why she had just kissed him. "Be right back."

She pulled at his cut by the collar, bringing him closer to her. "You better," she warned and kissed him again.

He slapped her ass and turned over to Opie. The two walked over to their friends.

Donna and Tara began to walk together. Tara held her head high and she made eye contact with people, especially the women. She allowed her hips to sway as she walked with a purpose.

Donna began to laugh.

"What?" asked Tara.

"You've been here for not even two minutes and you're already pissing on your territory," Donna said teasingly. "You're calling on all girls to come over and fight you."

Tara didn't take this offensively. "Easy for you to say. Everyone in the state of California knows Opie is taken. Jax is still believed to be an open buffet."

Donna seemed to agree to that statement.

For the next hour Donna stayed close to each other's side as they made their way around the scene. They quickly went to the men, knowing they were easier to befriend then the women. Of course, girls introduced themselves as girlfriends of SAMCRO members. At hearing this, the men knew to keep their hands to themselves. They still continued speaking to the girls, though.

Tara was quick to spot Old Ladies. They were the ones who weren't hanging around more than one man. Donna and Tara befriended them instantly.

The girls' company was great and welcoming. Both Tara and Donna were enjoying themselves well enough that they lost track of time and forgot of their boyfriends.

It was Donna who remembered they had come here with the two bikers. "I don't see the guys."

Tara remembered and began to look around the scene. She too didn't see their boyfriends. It was tough when most here wore black.

Donna and Tara excused themselves from the company around them and decided to look for Jax and Opie.

Tara spotted the guys first. She turned and called out to Donna to let her know. However, when Donna turned towards Tara, she accidentally hit someone.

Tara saw the woman had been holding a beer and it had spilled all over her. Tara quickly headed over to her friend, afraid the woman might become too upset with what had just happened to her.

"Sorry," Donna quickly apologized to the woman.

The woman looked down at her shirt looking more than pissed off.

Yup, the woman was about to cause a scene. Tara came right beside Donna.

"You fucking bitch," the woman cursed. She was still looking down at the mess. The people surrounding them quieted down a bit at the sound of the woman cussing. All eyes went to Tara and Donna, a look of curiosity on their faces.

Tara noticed it. She knew word had traveled quickly. People here knew she and Donna were Old Ladies and being cussed at from what appeared to look a Hang Around was in no doubt a dangerous mistake to have made.

Tara ignored the stares. "It was an accident," Tara defended her friend and tried to keep things calm.

"I don't give a shit. She fucking ruined my outfit!" The woman was in such a rage that she spat on Donna's feet.

More people grew silent.

Tara did her best to remain calm. Spitting was considered to be one of the foulest things to do to a person.

"I said I was sorry," Donna said, having a look on her face of guilt and anger.

"Not as sorry as you're going to be," the woman threatened and charged at Donna.

But Tara stepped in and pushed her friend out of the way. The woman took a grab at Tara's hair and began yanking it.

Tara held onto the woman's wrists, preventing the woman from pulling too hard. Tara brought up her fist and hit the woman in the stomach twice.

The grip on her hair loosened and Tara took advantage, kicking the woman in the kneecaps.

In the background, Tara thought she heard sirens, but she ignored them. This bitch had pissed Tara the hell off.

The woman didn't seem to notice the disturbance either because she was beginning to slap Tara across the face.

"Tara! Cops!" It was Donna's voice.

Tara didn't care. She took a hold of the woman's hand that was slapping her and began to twist it. With her other hand, Tara began to slap the woman with might.

As Tara brought her hand up to continue with the blows, she noticed some blood on her palm. She wasn't sure if it was her own or if it was coming from the woman.

However, the woman bit Tara's other hand hard. It felt like glass and Tara felt that the woman had broken through the skin.

Tara kept in the pain, not wanting to give the woman the satisfaction that she was harming Tara. She decided to close her hand into a fist and continue hitting the woman.

The two continued with the cat fight and it took a man's arms to pull Tara away from the woman.

The instant the arms were on her, Tara felt alien to it. It was instinct. She began to push the body away from her.

"Calm down!" The man shook her.

"Get the fuck off!" Tara struggled.

The man grabbed her arm with strong force, making her wince.

"That hurts, fucker!" She screamed at him, pushing him off.

"Then calm the hell down." He let go of her, but she had lost her footing.

And fell face-first to the ground.

/

/

~JAX~

Jax was maybe one of the first ones to notice the cop lights. He had gone into action and immediately started looking for Tara. He forgot about his brothers—not caring if they were caught. He needed Tara out of here. Opie must have seen them too at the same time as Jax. He was at Jax's side and both teenagers were looking around, trying to find the two brunets.

Opie was the first to spot them. He signaled Jax towards a cat fight that was happening several yards away. "It's your girl."

_Wasn't it always_? "Shit." Jax began to make his way through the crowd. Everyone now knew the cops were present and people were running all over the place, making it difficult for Jax to get to Tara.

Then, Jax had seen them come. Two cops were trying to break the fight up.

"I tried warning her, but I don't think she heard me," Donna said to Jax. She was holding onto Opie's hand and giving Jax an apologetic look.

Jax nodded. "Not your fault. I have a stubborn old lady." He then looked at Opie. "Go."

Opie hesitated. He didn't want to leave Jax behind.

Jax shook his head. "I'll be fine, man. Get Donna home safely."

Donna stood her ground, though. "No, Jax. We're not leaving you."

"It'll be ok, Don," Jax said with a calm voice so that she could believe him. "Just go."

"No!" She looked as if hell had to freeze over before she would move one inch from where she was.

_**Another**__ stubborn old lady_, Jax thought as he turned to his best friend.

Opie looked just as impatient as Jax felt. He bent over and picked up Donna, knowing full well the only way to get her out of there was to carry her out. "We'll meet you at TM," Opie called back to Jax.

Donna began to kick and scream at her boyfriend.

Jax turned back towards Tara and noticed Tara was fighting off the cop now and that the cop was speaking roughly to Tara, not to mention grabbing onto her with what looked to be a tough grip.

Jax hurried over, a feeling of rage building in him.

'That hurts, fucker!" Tara screamed out to the cop. Jax noticed from her voice that she wasn't lying.

"Then calm the hell down." Jax swore the cop threw Tara onto the floor.

"Son of a bitch!" Jax was now at the cop's side and he took a grab of the cop and pulled him hard to the ground. Once down, Jax got on top of the asshole and punched him.

"Get the hell off me, kid!" The cop covered his head, blocking some of Jax's blows.

Jax felt a strong pain on his side. "Fuck!" It felt as if he had been struck with a bat.

"Hey, asshole!" It was Tara's voice.

Jax brought his head towards her and found she was struggling with the officer that had just hit him. It was a baton that this cop was holding. The baton cop pulled Tara to the ground and grabbed her hands to her back.

"Ow!" Tara screamed as the baton cop put the handcuffs on her.

Hearing that she was in pain again made Jax start to go after the cop. However, he forgot about the first cop he was dealing with and was caught off guard. The first cop tackled Jax down to the floor.

"Jax!" Tara screamed out of concern.

Jax turned to her. He needed her to be calm. When she was stressed or felt out of control, things tended to go from bad to worse. "It's ok, babe. Just stay calm."

"You ok?" she asked, scanning his face. He was sure she was checking for bruises.

He nodded. "I'm good."

One of cops grabbed Jax after he was handcuffed and brought him to his feet. "Come on, Romeo. Let's get you to the station."

The baton cop made Tara get to her feet as well. "You too, Juliet. On your feet."

She looked more than uncomfortable. It was as if she was hurt somewhere.

"Babe?" asked Jax, concerned.

She gave Jax a fake smile. "I'm ok."

"No talking," warning the baton cop. And pushed Tara.

Jax's jaw clenched and looked at the baton cop. "Careful with her," he warned with a lethal voice.

"Shut up," said the first cop and pushed Jax as well.

/

/

~TARA~

"Thanks again, Rach," Tara said to her friend.

Rachel smiled as she signed some more paperwork. "I was surprised you two were only charged with disorderly conduct. Oh, and Jax was charged with assaulting an officer," Rachel teased her friends. "I was sure you two would be drinking this night."

Tara sent her friend a glare. "I have a sitting job early in the morning. We agreed to no drinking this night."

Rachel rolled her eyes. "You know you owe me one, right?"

Jax cracked a smile as he wrapped his arm around his friend. "Whatever you need, darlin'."

Rachel gave Jax a long look. "Promise?" she asked seriously.

Jax didn't hesitate in answering. "Name it."

Rachel let out a sigh and finished the paperwork. Once she was done, she began to walk out of the station and motioned her friends to follow her. Her truck was parked a few blocks away and upon getting to the truck, she looked around to see if anyone was watching.

"What is it, Rachel?" asked Tara, getting a little worried on how serious Rachel was being.

Rachel turned to Jax. "I got some news that I need to pass on to the Club."

"What is it?"

"First, I need you to promise me, Jax."

"What?"

"After you find out, you know exactly what I'll ask."

The two friends shared a quiet moment. Tara was clueless as to what they were discussing.

Jax nodded. "Alright. What is it?"

"Let's pick up your bike first. We'll go somewhere and Tara can take my truck. It won't take long."

Jax first looked at Tara to see if it was alright.

Tara didn't mind. "It's fine."

She was curious in knowing what this was all about, but knew her friends would tell her in due time. She didn't want to push Rachel.

The three got into the truck and headed back to the empty fields where Jax bike was. Once there, Jax and Rachel got off the truck.

Rachel turned to Tara and handed her the keys. "Meet us at TM. We'll be there in under an hour."

Jax walked over to the driver's side. "Follow me out," he said and gave her a kiss.

Tara nodded and did just that.

Once they got into Charming, Jax and Rachel went towards the opposite side of town as Tara headed towards TM.

When she got there, she was greeted by Donna. "Why are you driving Rachel's car?"

Tara explained what had occurred with Rachel.

Donna was curious. "What do you think it's about?"

Tara shrugged. "Not sure. But she looked pretty serious."

Donna nodded. She then began to apologize. "Tara, I am so sorry about leaving. I shouldn't have let Opie—"

Tara shook her head. "Jax explained; you don't need to. I'm kind of glad you didn't try fighting Opie too hard. I would have broken an arm by just pushing him."

"I _did_ try to fight him off. It might not have looked that way, but I did," Donna claimed.

"Where _is_ Opie, anyway?" asked Tara as she looked around.

"Clay called him in just right now," Donna said.

The two friends continued to hang out for the next half hour.

Opie finally came in sight and walked over to Tara. "Hey. You ok?"

Tara nodded.

He gave her an apologetic look. "Sorry—"

Tara shook her head. "Don't. I don't ever want either one of you behind bars due to my stupidity."

Opie cracked a smile. Then, turned towards the street and had a look on his face as if he was waiting on someone.

Tara ignored this and she and Donna continued to talk. Not more than a few minutes later, she heard a motor she was very familiar with. It was only a couple of blocks away.

"Jax?" asked Donna.

Tara nodded.

Donna was able to relate with Tara. She, just like Tara, could hear her boyfriend's bike from a mile away.

Sure enough, Jax rode into the lot not more than a minute later.

Behind him, Tara could see a beat-up beetle parking across the street. From the car came out Rachel and her girlfriend Candy Eglee. Hand-in-hand, the two girls headed up to TM. Because the night was cold, they each wore a beanie that covered their hair.

Tara walked over to Jax as he parked his bike. "Hey."

Jax greeted her with a kiss. "I'll be out in a little while. Gotta talk to the Club." His face was serious.

Tara turned and saw how at the sight of Jax, all of SAMCRO started heading into the clubhouse. It looked to be another emergency meeting.

"What's going on?" asked Tara.

"Jax," called out Clay from the entrance. It was a tone that said to hurry.

"Going," Jax told his step-father. Jax gave Tara a quick kiss. "Give me an hour." And he rushed inside, Opie appearing right next to him.

Tara turned to Rachel, who had her arm around Candy. "Gonna explain now?"

Rachel and Candy exchanged a look. Candy looked extremely worried, but Rachel kissed her on the forehead. "It's alright, baby." She turned to her two brunette friends. "Let's take a walk."

The four walked out of the lot and into the streets.

Tara knew that Jax would have disagreed with her walking alone in the dark, even if she was with a few other girls, but what Rachel had to say seemed private and important.

Once they were away from the compound, Rachel began to explain.

"Candy's been selling coke in Charming," Rachel said bluntly. "She's been doing it for about a year."

This news shocked Donna and Tara. They had both come to know Candy and didn't believe what Rachel had just said. But Tara knew Rachel would never joke about something like this.

Candy's head hung low in shame.

"Because everyone believes Candy to be a straight arrow around town, no one suspected a thing. She only wanted to do it for a little while, but then it got heavy with the gangsters that were supplying her. She was selling a lot and at a fast pace. They wanted her to keep it up. She tried to end things, but…" Rachel gave her girlfriend a look of sympathy. "She got in too deep."

So many questions were running through Tara's head at the moment, but first thing was first. "Candy…_why_…?" She couldn't finish the question, she was so shocked.

But she didn't need to finish it because Candy understood. Their blond friend looked to be fighting tears. "I needed the money for school. My parents make too much for me to get Financial Aid but we don't make enough for them to pay for the books I needed. They were barely able to pay for tuition. The money I had earned wasn't enough for books or my apartment. I'm a full-time student and can only work part-time. Otherwise, something was going to have to give: my school or work. And I can't do one without the other.

"I should have applied for a loan, I know. But I didn't think all the way through it. Then that bad decision lead to a _horrible_ decision. I knew a guy who sold weed and expressed my interest in selling. He then introduced me to another guy, who introduced me to another guy, who introduced me to this gangster…" She took a deep breath, she was starting to cry so bad. She shook her head of the worry. "I don't know how it got this bad."

Candy looked so helpless; it made Tara hurt to see her like this. She stepped in to comfort her, but Rachel beat her to it. Rachel hugged Candy tightly. "It's gonna be ok, baby. The Sons will help."

This reminded Tara of Rachel going to Jax and asking for a favor. "How can SAMCRO help?"

"Yeah, they're against drugs being sold in town," Donna said. She began to look just as worried as Candy. "I've heard stories of what happens to people who deal here…"

Rachel brushed away Candy's tears. "SAMCRO wants to take out the leader; Candy was only selling. She wasn't the one bringing _in_ the drugs to town; that was someone else. With Candy helping them take down this guy and his crew, Candy gets immunity. That's the agreement. Candy lets out all the secrets, but she'll be protected. Plus…after they hear what those fuckers made her go through, it'll be easy for them to see she was a victim." Rachel's facial features showed some anger.

Tara turned to Candy and saw Candy looked embarrassed and even more hurt. Tara was afraid to ask what exactly she went through with those gangsters.

"So SAMCRO will protect Candy?" asked Donna.

"That's what the meeting is about. Jax told be he's more than sure the Club will see it the way he does: Candy was put into a bad corner. She was threatened and forced against her will," Rachel said.

"Why not go to the cops?" asked Tara curiously. She knew from reputation that SOA were a feared MC, but the cops could also be of some use.

Candy immediately shook her head. "I can't do that to my family. This kind of scandal could hurt the business. And it's not just my own family, but the employees. A sixth of the town _works _for Eglee Constructions. Their jobs could be jeopardized."

And Tara's father was one of those employees. And Piney. And Rachel. And a few other SAMCRO members. She understood Candy's point, although she disagreed. Maybe it wouldn't affect the company.

Candy began to get nervous again, she began to look around. "I want go back into the compound. Being outside like this freaks me out."

Rachel rubbed her shoulders. "Can you think of a better place to be than in front of SAMCRO? They're just right down the street. No one stupid is going to do anything this close to the Sons."

It was then that Tara noticed a car parking at the end of the street. The car looked familiar, so she didn't think anything of it.

For the next couple of minutes Tara, Donna, and Rachel tried to calm Candy down.

But out of the corner of her eye, Tara noticed a few figures making their way towards them.

Tara turned to Rachel and nudged her.

Rachel also noticed the figures coming.

There were five of them and they looked tall and broad. And it might have been the shadows, but these figures also looked scary. Tara didn't recognize any of them. They looked to be in their 30s and looked Asian, but could pass as Mexicans too.

Rachel stepped in front of Candy protectively and looked straight at the guys coming to them. "You lost?"

Donna took a step back and looked ready to run.

Tara just froze. She didn't know how to react. She didn't want to do anything drastic; it might entice these men to do something to them.

"Candy Eglee?" one of them asked.

Tara noticed Rachel reaching for her gun in a slow motion. "Who's asking?"

Then, one of them brought up a gun of his own and pointed it at all four girls. "I am, bitch." Tara saw that this man carried a gold chain across his neck; one with a big cross. _Highly doubtful this man was a man of God_, Tara thought, as she looked at the cross.

Rachel brought down her hand quickly.

Donna let out a scream.

Tara's heart began to race. She knew the reaction Donna had just given was not a good one. These guys didn't want to be found out and a scream like Donna's could bring in attention.

The man holding the gun pointed the weapon towards the floor beneath Donna and shot, making Donna jump.

Tara moved quickly and shut her friend's mouth before she could scream again. In her arms, Donna was shaking profusely out of fear.

The man with the gun pointed at Donna's head. "Scream again, bitch. I dare you."

Donna began to sob in Tara's arms.

"What do you want?" asked Tara as she tried to comfort her friend.

The guy sent Tara a lethal look. "I'm asking for Candy Eglee."

"What do you want with her?" the question slipped out of Tara without thinking first.

The guy was now right in front of Tara's face. "None of your fucking business."

One of the men carried a tribal tattoo across his face and he came right up beside the Gun Man and looked down at the girls. "We know she drives a beat-up beetle, like the one right there down the street. Any of you happen to know where she is?"

None of the friends said anything for a long moment, each too afraid to look at each other. They feared the men would hurt them, even if they were to reveal that one of them were who the men were looking for.

"She's also a blonde," said one of the other men looking at Donna, Rachel, and Candy. While Donna wore a hoodie, Rachel and Candy wore beanies. All three of them could be blondes in the eyes of these men.

"Take them off," ordered Gun Man.

The girls didn't move.

The Gun Man looked more than impatient. "Ok, then." He reached over and grabbed Donna by the hair and pulled her close to him. He brought down her hoodie, revealing her to be a brunette.

Tara reached over and tried to grab him away from her, but Tribal Tattoo got in between and took a hold of Tara's hand with a tight grip.

Tara snatched her hand back, wincing from pain.

Gun Man got the gun and pointed it straight at Donna's head. "Take off the beanies."

Rachel looked as if she wanted to pound on the guy, but Candy held her tightly against herself, hugging her from behind.

"I'm not gonna ask again," threatened Gun Man as he took off the safety in the gun.

Donna began to silently sob. Her face turned red with terror, her body refused to calm down, and she looked too stunned to speak.

Tara never felt so helpless. She wanted to help her friend, but was afraid if she did anything, she might prevent the men further and her actions would cause the death of one of her friends. She tried her best to stay calm.

Rachel took a step forward. "It's me. I'm Eglee."

"What?! No!" Candy pulled at Rachel with horror.

Rachel brushed her girlfriend off. "Leave her alone. It's me you want."

One of the other burly men reached over and grabbed Rachel by the collar. "Get over here." He pulled Rachel over next to him.

"You gotta let her go, man," Rachel told Gun Man, implying Donna.

Gun Man laughed. He turned to Donna and Tara noticed his other hand began to roam over Donna's body. "I think I'll have my fun first."

It all happened so quickly. One moment Gun Man had his hand all over Donna and the next there was a pop and his hand holding the gun was bleeding.

Tara turned and noticed Rachel had her gun out and was now pointing it at the guy who had grabbed her.

"Back off!" Rachel screamed out and reached over to Donna and pulled her towards safety.

Tara stepped in and hugged the frightened Donna. Rachel was standing in front of her friends with her gun pointing at the men. "You fuckers better get the hell out of here."

Gun Man was holding onto his shot hand with pain. He looked ready to kill. "You fucking cunt!"

Rachel shot at the floor in front of him. "I'll shoot you again, fucker! Now leave!"

Tara noticed it. She was keeping eyes on all men. Tribal Tattoo reached behind him in a slow pace, it would have been hard to miss. Tara tried to warn her friend. "Rachel!"

But Rachel didn't know what the warning meant. She didn't see it. She didn't react. One moment Rachel was on both feet and the next she wasn't. Tribal Tattoo had shot her and she had fallen straight into the ground.

Candy was the one to react faster. She took Rachel's gun and pointed began to shoot at Tribal Tattoo. She was a good shot because she too shot him in the hand. Tribal Tattoo dropped the gun. Then the rest of the men began to reach behind them, reaching for weapons as well more than likely.

Donna let out a scream.

Suddenly, there were a lot of pops coming from behind the girls. Tara ducked down, bringing with her Donna and she covered both of their heads.

As the noise continued, Tara heard a familiar voice which pushed away the scare she previously felt.

Warm arms covered her. "Tara?" The voice sounded terrified.

Tara turned to find the softest pair of blue eyes. "I'm ok," she promised him.

Jax caressed her face and began to examine her body. "You sure? They didn't hurt you?"

It was then that Tara remembered. She pushed away from Jax and hurried over to her friend. Opie now had Donna in his arms and Tara had to move around him to get to Rachel. "Rachel!"

Candy was in tears, leaning over a bleeding Rachel.

Once Tara got to her redheaded friend, she saw where the bullets had gone. Rachel's stomach was covered in blood. Rachel was holding onto it and was breathing heavily. "Shit this fucking hurts," Rachel exclaimed in pain.

Tara turned to Jax. "Call 9-1-1!"

/

/

~JAX~

It was the only time Jax hated the fact that the clubhouse was nearly soundproof. If it hadn't been, everyone would have heard the first gunshot.

But, no, it wasn't until after their meeting had finished and they had come out that they found out from some of the Hang Arounds about a gunshot going off from across the street. The Hang arounds had wanted to investigate it, but were afraid of the danger. They would have told SAMCRO of it, but the Club was having a meeting—no one was allowed to disturb them.

Right when Jax heard about there being a shot going off, he began to scroll through the crowd—searching for an auburn mane. To his fear, he didn't see it and he grew anxious. And from the worried look on Opie's face, Jax knew that Donna was missing as well.

Jax and Opie both sped into action, taking out their guns and heading out to find their girlfriends. As they ran out of TM, Jax noticed Chibs, Chico, and Kozik (who was visiting from Tacoma) running alongside the youngest members of SAMCRO. As all five of them came to the other side of the street, Jax saw a group of men confronting four teenage girls. Jax knew the body figure of one of the girls. He had admired it for so long he could paint every curve of it with his eyes closed. A few more shots were heard and Jax saw how one of the girls fell onto the ground. Another girl now seemed to be firing back. Jax tried to rush as much as he could. He couldn't shoot, not when he was this far away.

Right when he got close enough, he began to shoot at the men, not caring if he hit any of them. His first priority was to make sure the girls were alright. And whether that involved killing one of the men or not did not matter. When he knew the status of his girlfriend and friends, then he would go after the fuckers.

Opie headed straight to Donna and Jax saw Chibs, Chico, and Kozik running after the men. Jax saw how the men were getting into the car. He knew his brothers wouldn't catch the men on time. The fuckers were gonna get away. But again, at the moment, there was something more important at the moment. He rushed over to Tara to make sure she was safe.

Right when Jax had Tara in his arms, his worry that she could have been shot and killed really sank on him. Everything had happened so fast that he didn't have time to think about his concerns. He held Tara tightly for a few moments then checked to see if she was alright. But then her own worry made her conscious of her surroundings and she rushed to her friend's aid.

Jax had to admit that he too had forgotten about Rachel.

"Call 9-1-1!" Tara shouted.

Jax turned around towards the crowd that was now in front of TM. He ordered them to call an ambulance.

He turned to his redhead friend and saw the blood spilling out of her. "Help's coming, darlin'."

Rachel's body continued to shake. She was holding back tears of pain.

Tara placed her hands onto Rachel's stomach. "Move your hands. I got it." She applied pressure and Rachel let out a moan of pain. "Rachel, look at me."

Rachel was starting to lose her cool. The tears in her eyes were beginning to come out.

Tara had noticed it and began to take control. "Rachel!"

Rachel's eyes went to Tara's.

Tara's face was set, no extreme emotion coming out of her. She was remaining calm for Rachel. "You have to keep focused, ok? You stressing out isn't gonna help anyone. Stay alert and take deep breaths to calm yourself. Can you do that for me?"

Rachel gave a shaking nod, the tears in her eyes still coming down.

Candy looked to be out of control as well.

"I need to hear you say it," said Tara in a demanding tone. "Can you try to remain calm?"

"Y-y-yes," Rachel managed to let out.

For the next few minutes, Tara spoke with Rachel, asking her questions of how she was feeling and saying soothing things.

Jax was amazed at how in control Tara was. At times she seemed upset of what was happening, but overall, she kept calm.

When the ambulance arrived and the EMTs began to take Rachel away, Jax reached over to his redhead friend. "You're gonna be alright," he said to her.

Rachel held his hand tightly. "How did the meeting go?"

He had totally forgotten about it. He gave Rachel a smile. "She's protected."

"Promise me, Jax," Rachel said with demand.

He looked at Rachel straight in the eye. "You have my word. I'll keep her safe."

Rachel nodded and let go of Jax's hand.

As Rachel was pulled into the back of the ambulance, Candy was being told she wasn't allowed to ride with them. Only family.

"Candy, Chibs can drive you. We'll head up to Saint Thomas with you," Jax said to the blonde.

"I'll give you a ride, darlin'," said Chibs. He placed his hand on Candy's hand.

Candy nodded, gave her thanks, and sent a goodbye to Rachel.

Rachel sent Candy a kiss and waved at all of her friends.

"We'll see you in a bit, Rach," Tara promised.

The EMTs closed the doors behind them and the truck sped off.

Jax turned to Chico and Kozik. "Gotta go tell Unser."

Kozik nodded. "We'll go and meet you there. The Chief and his wife might need a ride."

"Thanks," said Jax to his brothers. He took his girlfriend's hand. "Let's go."

They rushed over to TM to get to his bike.

/

/

~TARA~

Tara, Jax, Donna, Opie, and Candy all ran into the hospital. Chibs stayed behind to keep an eye on the bikes.

The double doors opened and that medicine smell filled her nostrils. She tried to remain calm as she headed over to the front desk. "Excuse me. We're here to see Rachel Unser. She's 5'10, red hair, weighs about 150 lbs. She got shot in the stomach."

The woman in the front desk was typing everything up as Tara spoke. She stared at the computer screen and her face turned a bit sad. "She's about 18?" asked the woman.

Tara nodded. "She just turned 19 last week."

The look in the woman's face only fell more. Tara's heart did the same. She didn't have a good feeling about this.

"Will you guys take a seat? I'll have a doctor come out in just a bit," the woman said with a sweet smile.

Tara nodded and turned to her friends.

All five of them walked over to the waiting area. The girls sat down and clung to each other. Opie and Jax paced around the room.

Every now and again Donna looked to start crying, but Tara immediately put her at ease. Candy was the hardest to keep calm. Tara and Donna did their best to help their friend get through this.

A few minutes later, Tara heard Chief Unser in the room. He was screaming at the woman in the front counter. Tara heard the woman tell Chief Unser that his niece was in the middle of surgery and that it could take a few hours. The chief went off. He was cussing, demanding to speak to the doctor. Before Tara could react, Jax did. He rushed over to the chief and tried to keep the old man from further shouting. Jax was somewhat successful; the chief was now just cussing at a low tone.

Once Candy looked to be calm enough, Tara walked over to the chief.

The old man saw Tara coming. He took a deep breath and welcomed her with a hug. "How are you doing, sweety?" he asked nicely.

Tara always had gotten along with the chief. She was over his house a lot. He kidded with her and Donna once stating that they were like his nieces as well.

Tara returned the hug. "A bit spooked, but I'll be ok." Tara took a step back and looked down at the man who had raised Rachel as a daughter. "How are you?"

"Better, once I can see my Rachel." The chief began to pace a bit.

For almost an hour they all waited for the news.

Finally, a man in all white made his way towards the group of friends.

Tara's heart began to race. She was standing right next to the chief when the doctor arrived. She clung to the old man's hand; she silently said a prayer.

The doctor's face was somber, though. His eyes held sorrow and pity. This wasn't good news.

Tara slowly felt her heart sink. A lump in her throat began to form. Her eyes became cloudy. She couldn't move. And couldn't feel anything other than pain. She wasn't sure if she was still holding Chief Unser's hand.

The doctor made his way to Chief Unser and Mrs. Unser (who had arrived a little after the chief had because she had been at work). The doctor placed a heavy hand on Chief Unser's shoulder and gave the news.

Tara felt herself falling into the ground as the sobs began to overtake her. She felt arms around her and it gave her a faint warmth, but not enough to keep her from the hurt she was feeling.

/

/

~JAX~

Just like every night for the past week, it took a while for Tara to finally fall asleep. Once Jax knew she was off in dreamland, he gave her a kiss and left her room.

It had been a long week for not just Tara, but everyone in Charming. The death of Rachel Unser had caused many emotions to erupt in the small town. Those few people who had come to really know and love the redhead had been feeling a void in their lives. However, the majority of the town had grown frightened. This didn't happen in Charming. Drusgs, guns, and death happened _outside_ of its walls. And the fact that this had happened right in front of SAMCRO's clubhouse had spread even more worry.

The club wanted to catch the gangsters as soon as possible, but they wanted to make sure that the town had mourned properly for Rachel. It was really at Jax's insistence. Tara was broken. He knew she needed him at her side in the days that followed their friend's death.

The club finally spoke with Candy and they were able to get great and useful information from her. It surprised Jax how Candy immediately jumped to the chance in helping the club. Her sorrow could not be seen, just anger. She wanted justice and knew the Sons were able to provide it. For her, finding Rachel's killers was the number one priority.

She let the Club know that the gangsters were a Filipino gang from the Bay. She had sometimes seen some of them around the guy that supplied her with the drugs. They never paid her her much attention, though.

Tonight, a week right after Rachel's death, one of the Sons had spotted the gangsters. A call was made to the Mother Charter and a meeting had taken place. Late tonight, the Sons were going to invade the whereabouts of the gangsters and send a message. Jax immediately volunteered to go. Opie was the next one.

Not only did Jax and Opie wanted to avenge Rachel for the friendship they had shared with her, but to show the gratitude they had for her. The guys had found out through Candy all that had happened that night. They knew Rachel had stepped in front of her friends to protect them. She had pulled Donna to safety and had shot in order to keep her friends from getting hurt. Rachel Unser had saved the lives of their girlfriends. They would never forget it.

As Jax hurried out of Tara's house and to his bike, he noticed there were a few bikes parked along his own.

"She all tucked in nicely?" teased Tig.

Jax ignored him. He got into his bike and put on his helmet.

"Remember, you two," Clay said as he stared at Jax and Opie, "stay focused. Leave the personal shit behind when we knock down that door. Got it?"

Jax and Opie gave a nod.

Then, SAMCRO rolled out of Charming.

A couple of hours later, they were in the streets of Fremont. Waiting for them a block away from the destination, were a few lethal looking _cholos_.

Chico stopped right next to them and greeted his fellow Mexicans. He turned to the Club. "These are a few of my cousins and some friends."

Clay shook a few of their hands. "We appreciate you keeping an eye on the place."

The tallest of the Mexicans gave a short nod. "No problem. Anything for my _primo_."

Chico turned towards the house. "What have you seen, _carnal_?"

"_Nada_," answered the tall one. "_Un par de gueyes se salen de la casa cada vez en cuando. Pero los otros no se han salido de la casa_."

Chico nodded and turned to his brothers. "They don't seem to be on alert. A couple of them come out every now and again, but the others have stayed in."

"They underestimate us," said Tig with an evil grin. "Oh, I'm gonna have fun."

"_Tal vez no saben con quien se metieron_, _carnal_," said the tall one to Chico.

Chico gave an evil chuckle. "Well, they're gonna learn today who they declared war on." He turned to Clay. "Say when, boss."

Clay put his bike into park and as soon as he had, the rest of SAMCRO did. "When."

They all began to head towards the house, guns at the ready. Chico's family stayed behind to keep an eye out for suspicious behavior.

Tig was at the front of the line and knocked down the door with one kick.

Tig, Chico, and Happy stormed in first while the rest stayed behind.

Jax heard commotion happening inside. A few shots were fired, but not too many. Next thing, Tig began to demand to speak to Inggo—the one who had shot and killed Rachel.

It had taken a few days to track down the names of each of the gangsters, but once they found out their names, it was easy to get a picture of every one of them. Candy pointed out who had been the one who had been the killer. A guy with tribal tattoos across his face.

A whistle from the inside came, signaling them that it was safe to go inside.

Clay went in first, followed by Jax, Opie, Chibs, and Bobby.

Once inside, Jax saw that there were five gangsters sitting down on chairs with guns pointed at them.

Clay was about to step forward and take charge, but Jax stepped in front of him. He wanted to do this. He wanted to be the one to stare down at the fucker who had killed his friend. The guy who had _dared_ to place a hand on Tara.

Jax walked over to the man with ink on his face. "You Inggo?"

Inggo sent Jax a glare. "Who the fuck is asking?"

Jax gave him a non-comical smile. He brought down his fist and hit Inggo with a strong might.

It almost sent Inggo flying back, but Tig was there to prevent the fall.

Jax got a hold of the guy's collar and put a gun on the guy's mouth. "You fucking answer me. You Inggo?"

Inggo grew a little fearful and gave a quick nod.

At the confirmation, Jax began to beat the shit out of the guy. He hit the guy's head, neck, chest, shoulders—anywhere he could reach. He wanted to instill every kind of pain into this guy. He was consumed in so much anger, he needed to let it out.

Jax felt his brothers pulling him away. And as he was pulled back, Jax spat on the guy's face.

Clay turned towards the gangsters. "I'm not sure if you guys were aware, but there's no drugs allowed in Charming. Or killings." He stared at every single one of them. "Let this be your one and only warning." He walked away from them. "And for every life, we _take_ a life."

Clay gave Tig a look. Tig didn't hesitate. He brought out his gun and shot Inggo right on the head, killing him instantly. The other gangsters looked beyond fearful. They began to mumble about never stepping a foot into Charming again.

Jax believed the message was delivered and that revenge had taken place.

However, as the Sons began to head out, Jax noticed that Opie wasn't moving. He was in fact staring down at one of the gangsters, the one who wore a big gold cross across his neck.

_Shit_, Jax thought. He knew what was coming. Candy had told everything of what had happened between the gangsters and the girls. Jax wanted to step in, but decided against it. He was sure that if he were in Opie's shoes, he probably would be doing the same. Jax waited.

Opie stared down at the guy with a cold stare. "You Yano?"

The man with the gold cross didn't answer. He just stared up at Opie. Jax knew the guy wasn't going to talk.

Opie leaned down a little and began to speak in a low voice to the gangster. Jax could barely hear him. "A woman should be respected. Men who cannot follow that, should not exist." Opie brought his gun to the man's knees and shot.

The gangster let out a cry of pain.

Opie grabbed the man by the neck violently. "You touch my old lady again and next time it'll be your dick." And to finish his point, Opie spat on the man's face.

Without another word, Opie marched out of the house and Jax followed him.

Once outside, Clay gave Opie a look as if he was about to smack him. "That wasn't part of the plan."

Opie didn't say anything.

Jax stepped in. "Damn flip attacked Donna, Clay," Jax defended his best friend. "Candy told us everything that happened that night. He's lucky Ope just took out his knee. I would've done a lot worse had it been _my _old lady," said Jax with complete honesty.

Clay seemed to grow a bit empathetic and shook it off. He looked at both Opie and Jax. "Head back to Charming."

Jax frowned at this. The club was going after the dealer next—the one who had ordered the hit on Candy. Jax wanted to be there. Had it not been for that fucker, none of this would have happened.

But before he could complain, Clay stopped him. "You're too connected to this shit. Both of you proved that in there. Now get the hell back home before the cops show up. The town isn't protected, anyway. I'm sure these flips won't do anything—but we shouldn't be too cocky."

Opie and Jax didn't want to leave.

He stared both of them down. "Now. That's an order."

Jax let out a grunt of anger and rushed over to his bike. He and Opie headed back into town.

The both of them rode in silence. And as they entered the town, they saw a police car right at the entrance of the town.

Jax knew it belonged to the chief. He and Opie stopped next to the car.

Chief Unser rolled down his window and stared at both young men.

Jax gave Chief Unser a knowing look. "It's been done."

Chief Unser looked away and gave a nod.

He had never gone to the club to ask for them to look for the man who had killed his niece. Jax wasn't sure if it was because he had been trying to find the man by himself so he could kill the gangster with his own hands. Or if Chief Unser was in too much pain at the moment to even think about revenge.

But Jax figured Chief Unser didn't feel the _need _to go to the club to ask for help. He knew Jax and Opie had been close to his niece. They wanted revenge as well.

Jax saw how heartbroken Chief Unser was. At hearing that the man who took away the life of the girl who had been like a daughter to him, the old man began to cry.

Jax felt tears coming as well. He hadn't shed a tear for Rachel since she had passed, mostly because he knew he needed to be strong for Tara. If he broke down, who would be there to pick her up?

Unser turned to the two young men and gave them an appreciative look. "Thank you." And with nothing but sincerity, he said, "Any time you need anything…."

Jax gave a nod, understanding what the Chief was telling him. He and Ope began to ride down the street, and entered Charming.

/

/

~TARA~

Tara hadn't been able to sleep. She had woken up in the middle of the night, screaming out from the nightmares. It was happening more frequent. Ever since the death of her friend, she couldn't remember a night with peaceful dreams. Usually, she woke up into the arms of Jax, who seemed to chase away the evil dreams. But she had woken up this night without him there. She didn't know where he had gone and after a couple of hours of not being able to fall back asleep, she had decided to take a walk along the streets.

Although many of the residents of Charming weren't seen outside much these days for fear, Tara wasn't one of them. A part of her took extra, long walks now. She felt it was mostly to prove a point—that the gangsters had not instilled fear in _her_—but she felt it was also because a part of her wished to run into them. She wanted to face them and find a way she could cause them harm.

She knew she was being stupid. And reckless. But maybe she just wasn't thinking right because she hadn't had much sleep. Her head wasn't on right. For all she knew, she was probably sleeping at the moment. Everything seemed so still and quiet… It _did_ feel like a dream. _Hell_, she thought, _then there's nothing to worry about_.

Tara continued to walk down the lonely streets, not caring where she was headed. She didn't have a destination.

And as she allowed her feet to take her anywhere, the scene of that particular night began to replay in her mind. Over. And over. And over again.

Different things she could have done to have prevented that death. She shouldn't have agreed to go out for a walk outside the club. Jax had warned her more than once. Although Charming was safe, there was no such thing as certainty.

She should have learned how to shoot a gun. Maybe if she would have had one that night…

As her mind went through all the possible choices she could have made differently that night, she heard a low rumble. It was distant at first, but it became stronger. She knew that noise.

Someone called out her name and the noise was shut down.

Then, arms were embracing her. "Babe, what are you doing?"

Her face was being caressed and she was slowly coming out of her reverie.

She blinked rapidly, trying to adjust her sight. A beautiful face appeared in front of her. "Jax?"

"Tara, what the hell happened? Did you get into a fight with your dad?" He sounded so concerned. Worried. Mortified maybe.

Tara thought back. Had she gotten into a fight with her drunk of a father? She shook her head.

"Then what are you doing outside?" he demanded to know. His worry was leaving. He sounded pissed now.

She thought. "I'm..." She didn't know what she was.

"Need me to stay?" asked another voice. It sounded familiar.

Tara turned and saw a tall figure. "Ope?"

Opie gave her a look of concern. "You ok, darlin'?"

Tara didn't respond.

"I got it, man. Thanks," said Jax to his best friend.

"Alright. Call if you need anything. I'll be at TM." Opie reached over and rubbed Tara's head gently. Then, she felt a set of lips on the side of her head. "Feel better, Tara."

Tara turned and saw Opie get in his bike and ride off.

He looked to be trying to keep himself calm. "Babe, please. You gotta stay indoors—especially at night," he pleaded. "You gotta promise me."

She looked straight into his eyes. "I want to find them," she answered honestly. She wanted to find them and hurt them. Gut them. Beat them. Torture them. She wanted to do _something_.

He bit his lower lip, something he did when he was holding back something. "I'm sure they'll get caught. And they'll get what's coming to them." There was something that came across his face. An emotion she had never seen before.

Tara was puzzled at this. "What is it?"

He was caught off guard by her question. "What do you mean?"

"You're holding back something," she stated as she searched his face for the truth.

He shook his head. "Babe, we gotta get you inside. Come on."

Tara held still, though. She reached for his shirt, wanting to keep him from moving away from her as she tried to figure him out. But as she touched his shirt, she felt something wet, almost sticky. She frowned and looked down.

It was so dark, she couldn't see very well. Jax usually wore white t-shirts underneath his cut. By what she could barely see, there were dark spots all over his t-shirt. She grew even more puzzled. "What—?"

Jax took her hand away. "Come on," he said with determinism.

Tara pulled back. "What's that on your shirt?"

Jax tugged at his cut, making it close around his t-shirt. "Nothing."

Tara hated when he lied. "Jax…"

His stare turned blank. "It's nothing, Tara."

"If it's nothing then why are you hiding it?" she accused.

All of those bruises and marks and scars began to make their way through Tara's mind. All of the times when Jax would crawl into her bed in the middle of the night right after he got back from a run, having just showered. All of the times he would be limping after he'd leave Charming for a few days. She knew what it all meant, but she didn't want to think further into it. But right now, with him standing right in front of her with blood all over his shirt, she couldn't deny it anymore.

Jax wasn't answering her. He was standing there, still as stone.

She thought back to the words he had used before she saw the blood. Right after she had seen that feeling make its way to his face. It clicked. "You found them."

Jax gave her a fake frown. "Found who?"

She did it because she couldn't stand him like this. It always drove her crazy. She pushed him, hard. "Don't _fucking_ pretend you don't know what I'm talking about!"

Jax took a few steps back. He held up a hand to her. "Tara, calm down."

"Then tell me the truth!"

He stayed quiet and seemed to be thinking.

"Where were you?!"

He looked up at her and bit his lower lip. His face turned hard. "Where do you _think_?"

He wasn't going to admit to it, but he wouldn't deny it either. She could push him, yes. He might tell her if she pushed him hard enough. But did she want to go there? Did she want to know the truth? Was she willing to go into that dark side? What would it do to her if she went there?

Tara began to take deep breaths to try to keep herself from going crazy.

"Tara," came Jax's voice. There was hurt in it and hesitation. He was scared, probably more so than she was. "I'm sorry."

She didn't say anything. She couldn't. She was afraid of what might come out of her mouth if she dared opened it. She didn't want to say it was ok when it clearly wasn't. But she also didn't want to make him think that she thought low of him, because that was far beyond the truth.

She continued to take deep breaths.

Jax placed a hand on her shoulder. "Tara?"

As much as she wanted to stay silent, he _needed_ something. He was scared of losing her as much as she was of losing him.

Tara steadied herself and turned to him. She looked into those deep, blue eyes that looked ready to cry if she chose the wrong words. Those eyes that captivated every emotion out of her. The eyes that could read her thoughts before she knew them herself.

She told him the truth. "I love you, Jackson."

She saw his throat clench and his eyes filling with tears of joy and pain at her honesty. He looked down and tried to catch his own breathing.

Tara acted instantly. His pain and confusion and regret would always be her burden as well. Whatever he went through, she felt it. She cupped his face in her hands and soothed his cheeks as she pulled him down to her. "I love you," she repeated. She kissed his nose and lips. His cheeks. His eyes.

Jax wrapped her in his arms as he let out silent tears.

She simply held him as the emotions fell out of him. She was his rock. She always would be.

* * *

**AN**: There was a lot I did with the chapter. With the scene of the four girls together with the men, I had Tara thinking a million different things because I believe that's what she does in a dangerous situation. She actually _thinks_ before she acts. She has instincts, but trusts her brain more—which is the opposite of Jax. We saw this to be true in season 1 when Kohn almost rapped her, in season 2 when Abel was kidnapped, in season 3 when _she_ was kidnapped, and in season 4 when she was nearly abducted.

The chapter took a while to put together because I was letting go of Rachel. From the very beginning, this was going to be her outcome. And after so many chapters writing her and bringing her to life, I grew kind of attached. So, it was hard to kill her off. There are several reasons why Rachel died. For me, Rachel is what cemented the relationship Unser has with the club. I believe he has a deep history with this club that makes him be so loyal to them, not to mention to Tara. He has a soft spot for her and I have always wondered if that bond happened before or after she left Charming….

So, the closer we get to the end, the shorter the chapters...

**DATE**: 8/13/13


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